Anon gets some good advice | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 02/10/23(Fri) 23:28:21 No.72178806 for cats Tales 1675219334579333.jpg 214 KB JPG >Older sister caught me checking out her huge t--- as we walked past each other in the hall >She hasn't spoken to me since Welp it's f------ over for me bros, she's gonna tell our sister and it's gonna spread around that I'm a pervert. : Anonymous >>72178806 (OP) # >Walk by >Say "nice t---" and laugh If your relationship with your sister is decent then you would be able to do this without her perceiving it as super creepy. If you can't even glance at her t--- without her getting creeped out, then she must have an extremely low opinion of you. 02/10/23(Fri) 23:46:05 No.72179000

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anonette cheers her boyfriend up | /r/Greentext

File: heartcup.jpg (46 KB, 500x657) Anonymous 07/08/21 (Thu)00:33:58 No.21395626 >>21395632 >>213 Anyone else feign helplessness to make their bfs feel macho and strong? >mtf >perfectly capable of opening jars on my own >bf had a bad day >make a show of having trouble opening a jar >ask him pitifully if he can help >he opens it easily >give him a kiss on the cheek and thank him >he's visibly more cheerful than before opening the jar Masculinity is fragile and must be protected. Anonymous 07/08/21 (Thu)00:34:53 No.21395632 >>21395626 (OP) God I wish I had a gf like this >>21395697

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Anon has a firm handshake | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 48 KB JPG 04/ 11/19(Thu)10:28:51 No.79713884. >be me, 19 >in college >arrive at college before class started, needed to s--- before first class >get to the bathroom and open the door >prof is in there s-------, door wide open >w--.jpg >stare at each other for a few secs >he holds his hand out to close the door >i shake his hand

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anon is in a dilemma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous <-> 02/11/23(Sat)02:29:28 No.72174113 1675635282042644.jpg 6 KB JPG >mom gave me deadline to get a job or she will kick me out why even keep going at this point >>72174218 # : Anonymous >>72174113 (OP) # She needs support bro, you can't expect her to live forever. 02/11/23(Sat)02:35:21 No.72174166 02/11/23(Sat)02:37:14 No.72174176 : Anonymous Homelessness isn't such a bad gig. >sit on street corner all day begging for money >never have to slave away for your boss >get to do whatever drugs you want >free homeless p---- >constant liberal support Homelessness is the neet who actually followed through. The true neet chads.

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anon gets anxious | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 123 KB JPG 02/11/23(Sat)01:47:00 No.627318348 For f---'s sake >be me >plays pokemon >feels the need to fill the pokedex in order, and have at least 5 or 10 potions, if they become less, you have to buy more. >gets anxious and annoyed if these rules are not followed >stops playing from stress >picks up metroid >feels the need to fill every part of the map >can't >anxiety

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Anon fucked up at the bar | /r/Greentext

02/10/23(Fri)18:07:37 No.894139745 I posted this in another thread and figured id just make my own. Did I f--- up here? >be me >at bar with the boys a few weekends ago >DJ playing house s--- and ppl dancing like retards, its a good time >see this cute goth/alt girl looking at me >we start talking, she doesnt seem super friendly but not completely reserved >I've been getting into My Chemical Romance lately, legitimately >ask her if she likes them, being totally sincere >she gets visibly offended, I double down and say they're f------ awesome and I've been listening to them a lot lately (this is all true, I'm not f------ w/ her or anything) >convo kind of dissipates, I dont give a s--- and go back to hanging with the boys >See her like an hour later in the other room, im in a group of my friends talking to them and laughing >she tries talking to me and is acting more friendly >ignore her hard, forget what I said but I shut her down >she leaves : Anonymous MYCHEMIOL ROMAKE 340 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous >>894139745 (OP) # Yeah, you're a f------ retarded weirdo. 02/10/23(Fri) 18:10:27 No.894139839

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American psycho compares variants | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: HxAeGx1s)= 12/01/21 (Wed)16:19:08 No.350279647 >>350274782 (OP) # >New variant. What do you think? >Whoa-ho. Very nice. Look at that. >Picked it up in India yesterday. >Good symptoms. 174 KB JPG >That's fever. And the other is something like coughing. >It's very cool, Bateman, but that's nothing. Look at this. >That is really nice. >Chills with loss of appetite. What do you think? >Nice. >Jesus. That is really super. How'd a nitwit like you get so tasteful? >[Thinking] I can't believe that Bryce prefers Van Patten's variant to mine. >But wait. You ain't seen nothin' yet. Loss of taste, smell. Fever. >Impressive. Very nice. >Hmm. >Let's see Paul Allen's variant. >[Thinking] Look at that subtle fatigue. The tasteful fever of it. Oh, my God. It even has headaches. >Is something wrong, Patrick? You're sweating.

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Anon feels like he’s being cyber bullied by me..? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 917 KB GIF 02/10/23(Fri)16:33:57 No.72171335 >keep seeing screenshots of my very personal 4chan sadpost on Reddit Why do people do that? It's cyber bullying.

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Anon turns red | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)13:18:13 No.63008107 1585778674930.png 65 KB PNG >have a psychological condition that makes my face go red during the worst possible moments >it's not related to attraction but rather to whom I fear others think I'm attracted to >happened when I was around a classmate another guy was crushing on >happened when I was another classmate who had a boyfriend >happened when I was around my sister >happened when I was around my aunt >happened when I was around my cousin >she's 13 It just dawned on me that a side of the family possibly sees me as a potential incestuous pedophilic threat

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anon still practices kissing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Happy New Year? Where's the "happy"? 02/03/23(Fri)18:21:32 No.72076668 images (73).jpg 37 KB JPG Cashblesand friends >19 year old >still practice kissing with plushies >still practice kissing with myself in the mirror 14 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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anon is being controlled? | /r/Greentext

02/10/23 (Fri) 12:09:45 No.72172083 >found myself a submissive gf >she literally wants to be controlled >controlled so much that she is basically controlling me now >by forcing me to control her now she's stalking me and harassing my friends and family and threatens to kill herself and me..women are truly the devil, i am giving up, from now on only 1 night stands or prostitutes : Anonymous 210 KB PNG View Thread

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anon didnt shower for 4 days | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 56 KB JPG >popaboner.wav >say yes without hesitation >she holds my arm while drawing >can't contain my happiness >first time a bitch touches me >be me >college coomer >usually keep it to myself and don't talk to normies >be one day >bitch comes up to me and greets me >omfg its f------ happening >justlikethemovies.jpg >she says she's practicing her tattooing and she wants to draw on my wrist with a sharpie 11/27/21(Sat)21:21:12 No.66329822 >this must be how having a gf feels like >start looking at her and how beautiful she is and start fantasizing about showing her up to my parents and stuff Anonymous >she finishes the drawing and thank her >be four days later >drawing is smudged and faint >bitch comes up to me and asks to see her drawing >show it to her >she points at it and says "This is how we know you don't shower" >w--.png >she says "Smell ya later" and leaves >cry,tiff Now I'm not showering out of spite 97 KB JPG 11/27/21 (Sat)21:22:45 No.66329848 Lmfao that bitch is based get f----- retard.

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Anon and the Turtles | /r/Greentext

wat OP 12/10/11(Sat)01:49:13 No.367269047 >Middle school >Pretty normal kid named Lewis >Average number of friends, not too weird, not too smart, you get the idea >Get assigned project on future careers >His turn >He leaves the room >Comes back with a box >There are hundreds of turtles in the box >Literally hundreds >He trips >The box spills >Little turtles f------ everywhere >What the actual f--- >He starts FREAKING. OUT. about the turtles escaping >Literally bursts into tears >His dad is a herpetologist and they're his turtles >Lewis stole the turtles >None of the turtles escape because they're turtles, we just pick them up and put them back it's not like they can run fast >Teacher tells me to take him to the office so they can call his dad and pick up the turtles >He wont stop crying >Actually has a seizure on the way to the office >Spills turtle box again, all down the stair well >Falls down the stairs with them >Splits his scalp open, hits his face >Turtles and blood everywhere >I have to run up and down three flights of stairs and collect the turtles while Lewis is unconscious Teachers later ask me why I helped the turtles and not Lewis. I still don't know.

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