Anon f----- up at the bar | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

02/10/23(Fri)18:07:37 No.894139745 I posted this in another thread and figured id just make my own. Did I f--- up here? >be me >at bar with the boys a few weekends ago >DJ playing house s--- and ppl dancing like retards, its a good time >see this cute goth/alt girl looking at me >we start talking, she doesnt seem super friendly but not completely reserved >I've been getting into My Chemical Romance lately, legitimately >ask her if she likes them, being totally sincere >she gets visibly offended, I double down and say they're f------ awesome and I've been listening to them a lot lately (this is all true, I'm not f------ w/ her or anything) >convo kind of dissipates, I dont give a s--- and go back to hanging with the boys >See her like an hour later in the other room, im in a group of my friends talking to them and laughing >she tries talking to me and is acting more friendly >ignore her hard, forget what I said but I shut her down >she leaves : Anonymous MYCHEMIOL ROMAKE 340 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous >>894139745 (OP) # Yeah, you're a f------ retarded weirdo. 02/10/23(Fri) 18:10:27 No.894139839

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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American psycho compares variants | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: HxAeGx1s)= 12/01/21 (Wed)16:19:08 No.350279647 >>350274782 (OP) # >New variant. What do you think? >Whoa-ho. Very nice. Look at that. >Picked it up in India yesterday. >Good symptoms. 174 KB JPG >That's fever. And the other is something like coughing. >It's very cool, Bateman, but that's nothing. Look at this. >That is really nice. >Chills with loss of appetite. What do you think? >Nice. >Jesus. That is really super. How'd a nitwit like you get so tasteful? >[Thinking] I can't believe that Bryce prefers Van Patten's variant to mine. >But wait. You ain't seen nothin' yet. Loss of taste, smell. Fever. >Impressive. Very nice. >Hmm. >Let's see Paul Allen's variant. >[Thinking] Look at that subtle fatigue. The tasteful fever of it. Oh, my God. It even has headaches. >Is something wrong, Patrick? You're sweating.

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Anon feels like he’s being cyber bullied by me..? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 917 KB GIF 02/10/23(Fri)16:33:57 No.72171335 >keep seeing screenshots of my very personal 4chan sadpost on Reddit Why do people do that? It's cyber bullying.

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Anon turns red | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)13:18:13 No.63008107 1585778674930.png 65 KB PNG >have a psychological condition that makes my face go red during the worst possible moments >it's not related to attraction but rather to whom I fear others think I'm attracted to >happened when I was around a classmate another guy was crushing on >happened when I was another classmate who had a boyfriend >happened when I was around my sister >happened when I was around my aunt >happened when I was around my cousin >she's 13 It just dawned on me that a side of the family possibly sees me as a potential incestuous pedophilic threat

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anon still practices kissing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Happy New Year? Where's the "happy"? 02/03/23(Fri)18:21:32 No.72076668 images (73).jpg 37 KB JPG Cashblesand friends >19 year old >still practice kissing with plushies >still practice kissing with myself in the mirror 14 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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anon is being controlled? | /r/Greentext

02/10/23 (Fri) 12:09:45 No.72172083 >found myself a submissive gf >she literally wants to be controlled >controlled so much that she is basically controlling me now >by forcing me to control her now she's stalking me and harassing my friends and family and threatens to kill herself and me..women are truly the devil, i am giving up, from now on only 1 night stands or prostitutes : Anonymous 210 KB PNG View Thread

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anon didnt shower for 4 days | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 56 KB JPG >popaboner.wav >say yes without hesitation >she holds my arm while drawing >can't contain my happiness >first time a bitch touches me >be me >college coomer >usually keep it to myself and don't talk to normies >be one day >bitch comes up to me and greets me >omfg its f------ happening >justlikethemovies.jpg >she says she's practicing her tattooing and she wants to draw on my wrist with a sharpie 11/27/21(Sat)21:21:12 No.66329822 >this must be how having a gf feels like >start looking at her and how beautiful she is and start fantasizing about showing her up to my parents and stuff Anonymous >she finishes the drawing and thank her >be four days later >drawing is smudged and faint >bitch comes up to me and asks to see her drawing >show it to her >she points at it and says "This is how we know you don't shower" >w--.png >she says "Smell ya later" and leaves >cry,tiff Now I'm not showering out of spite 97 KB JPG 11/27/21 (Sat)21:22:45 No.66329848 Lmfao that bitch is based get f----- retard.

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Anon and the Turtles | /r/Greentext

wat OP 12/10/11(Sat)01:49:13 No.367269047 >Middle school >Pretty normal kid named Lewis >Average number of friends, not too weird, not too smart, you get the idea >Get assigned project on future careers >His turn >He leaves the room >Comes back with a box >There are hundreds of turtles in the box >Literally hundreds >He trips >The box spills >Little turtles f------ everywhere >What the actual f--- >He starts FREAKING. OUT. about the turtles escaping >Literally bursts into tears >His dad is a herpetologist and they're his turtles >Lewis stole the turtles >None of the turtles escape because they're turtles, we just pick them up and put them back it's not like they can run fast >Teacher tells me to take him to the office so they can call his dad and pick up the turtles >He wont stop crying >Actually has a seizure on the way to the office >Spills turtle box again, all down the stair well >Falls down the stairs with them >Splits his scalp open, hits his face >Turtles and blood everywhere >I have to run up and down three flights of stairs and collect the turtles while Lewis is unconscious Teachers later ask me why I helped the turtles and not Lewis. I still don't know.

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anon hangs out with friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Anyone have any clue what the (...) 106 KB JPG 01/24/19(Thu)22:11:27 No.22100339 >he says "hey anon I'm gonna head on out" >I'm bummed because it's only 5 pm and we were supposed to spend the rest of the night out there >"ten four dude, catch you later" >he leaves the blind and heads off through the woods towards the trucks >be me >2 weeks ago >out at the deer lease with my friend >bout 40 minutes later I hear a tapping on the door >look out the slide on the door >it's my buddy, he doesn't say s--- so I just let him in >"thought you were heading out man, knew you weren't gonna quit on me!" >notice he doesn't have his rifle >"where's your gun dude?" >"oh....left it at the truck, oh well" >"s--- you may as well have gone home haha" >he just smiles and sat there, didn't say a word except for the occasional grunt of acknowledgement and hmm of interest >it weirds me out because he's normally a pretty social guy, always talking about ufc s--- or mass effect >I ask "you ok bro?" >all he says is "don't feel good, that's all" >about 530 am he says "hey anon, I'm gonna head on out" >before I can even reply he's gotten up and exited the blind and I can hear him tromping through the woods >at the time I thought, "well thanks for scaring off the deer f------" but now that I think about it he wasn't walking towards the trucks, he was walking kind of off the way >about 7am I decide "f--- it I give up" >pack my s--- and head to my truck, his truck is gone so I think nothing of it. >The reason I'm bringing this up is I talked to him earlier today and was asking if he felt better and he looked at me confused and said "what do you mean anon?” >”you know, after you came back to the blind you said you weren't feeling good, figured that's why you weren't running your mouth about quatrain p----" So yeah. >he looked at me like I grew a second head and said "anon, dude, I didn't come back to the blind, I drove home, got home at 8 and went the f--- to bed.

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Anon has a toast to the jerk offs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Wasse 9 KB JPG 03/08/21 (Mon)22:17:56 No.849139033 I'll start >Be me >30 minutes ago >Want to coom >Go to /gif >Have music playing in the background >Go on Webms with sound thread anyway >Slowly spanking as I scroll through >Find some good s--- >Start to speed up >Really into it >Suddenly tune into the music in the background >Runaway by Kanye West >Nut to the gif >Just as I nut it gets to the last part of the song >"Let me be honest..." >Kanye singing the weird distorted part >Post nut clarity combines with the unintelligible but clearly sad lyrics >Lean back in chair >Actually start to cry >Go to wipe tears from face >Instead smear my own c-- across my face And that's my evening. How about you guys?

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Anon experiences loss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 41 KB JPG O 02/05/19(Tue)03:06:41 No.50803213 >mommy bought me a milkshake on her way home from work >I drop it walking up the stairs NOOOOOOO00000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000

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Anon doesn't know the role | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>24520620 (OP) # Bottom's boner is barely visible, because it's inside top's ass >>24521173 # : Anonymous >>24521176 # 02/09/23(Thu)07:48:21 No.24520721 >>24520721 # What do you mean? The bottom is the receiving one... : Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)10:16:15 No.24521173 >>24523365 # 02/09/23(Thu)10:17:11 No.24521176 >>24521173 # What? The guy on the top is the receiving one.

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Anon takes the bus.. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 111 KB JPG 03/15/18(Thu)12:54:13 No.762803808 greentext thread about your autistic/funny adventures >be me >on the bus to work on window seat >my stop comes, I say "excuse me" to the girl next to me on the aisle seat so I can get out >our eyes meet >she's a 15/10, beautiful eyes, gorgeous smile >I intend to say "thanks" >my confused brain decides to say "cheers" at the last second >I say to her "chanks!" >I get out of the bus with her confused look

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