anon loves their husband | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Couch !nckvmqq0Bs 02/21/21(Sun)19:45:47 No.62438763 >>62438798 File: 1611260073125.gif (1.03 MB, 600x338) >relaxing at home >knock on door >go answer it >2 kids telling me that their drone crashed in our backyard tree >call husband to door >he comes over >kids seem scared >guessing they think they are in trouble >tell him about drone >"Ohh, well let's go get it out the tree." >watch from window as he puts a ladder on the tree and climbs up it >he gets it and checks to see if its broken >gives it back to the kids and they run off home after thanking him I love him so much, he's so sweet.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon has a crush | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous "inhales" 51 KB JPG 10/07/22(Fri)08:20:47 No.70488529 >be me in class today >sitting near crush >I try to give hints >Dont think she notices >whatever >class is about to end >still finishing up mywork >mfw I can feel her looking at me >this is my chance >instead of staring back at her, my eyes stay glued to my f------ work Why am i such a retarded p----, bros?

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Anon had sex with his girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 25 KB JPG robot? 10/07/22(Fri)19:56:24 No.70492042 >have sex with gf first time in 8 months of dating >"anon could you bring your shoes up here?" >"what? why?" >she sniffs my shoes for the entire of f------ will this be a healthy relationship

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Anon... wants to become a functioning member of society? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sudden urges as an adult?l >be me >19 37 KB PNG 10/07/22(Fri) 12:03:38 No.886897385 >never had sex, kissed a girl non romantically, held hands >suddenly think "i want a kid" >literally entire opinion on kids change >nolonger those annoying little goblins that just annoy the f--- otta you >want to have a son or daughter, play games with him or her, protect him or her and watch it grow up >want to have a cute wife i can spend my time together with, a happy family >maybe even more children, hell having 3 doesnt sound that bad if it wasnt for the financial problems Is this what you call "growing up" anons? Idk if I'm gonna make it, but a family seems a lot more enticing now than being a wagie or even a 6 figure job, something i really want to happen

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anon befriends an old co-worker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous CAT 38 KB JPG 03/16/22(Wed)12:30:11 No.874521720 story time >me 25 >on the job >co worker is about 3 times my age >can literally be my grandfather (65) >we developed a father son relationship >really care for each other >have deep conversation >holidays come around >timetocelebrate.mkv >we have a toast and some paid days off >work place orginsed a paid worker trip to have fun >me and grandpa are sitting together on the bus >talk a bunch >he shows me pictures of his daughters (my age split 5/7 both 28 26) >we talk about them and I talk about my family too >he throws of the younger one is single >invite me to have a Sunday bbq at his place with his family and more work friends >l go >most of the workers are his age im the youngest man in the company the next in line is 42 >I arrive and he introduce me to his familiy >the younger daughter starts a conversation with me >we get along >we start dating >grandpa master plan worked out anons did I just f--- my sister?

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Anon has epic gaming setup | /r/Greentext

Board /v/ - Video Games jealous? Anonymous 114 KB JPG C60XaxaU0AAtfMa.jpg 162 KB JPG Settings Mobile Home 10/03/22(Mon)09:54:00 No.614002113 >>614002012 (OP) # >>614002303 # >>614002329 # >>614002521 # >>614002564 # >>614002846 # >>614003279 # >>614003471 # >>614003814 # >>614004138 # >>614004165 # >>614004282 # >>614004506 # >>614005305 # >>614005905 # >>614006245 # 0614099109 # >>614010029 # >>614010935 #

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Anon played the long game | /r/Greentext

A true story from my youth >be me >extremely depressed with crippling anxiety >finally decide to end it all >take lots of Xanax and wash it 25 KB PNG down with a handle >pass the f--- out >parents find me and rush me to hospital >unfortunately the doctor saves me >two cops come into room and ask me to take drug test >walk to bathroom with dad, qt nurse, and two cops >still extremely intoxicated >me to nurse "can you jack me off?" >dad in shock "did he really just say that?" >nurse "yes" >I don't hear my dad and I think the nurse said yes to my question >turn back to dad and say "later virgin" >mfw I called my dad a virgin

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the story of anon's hentai addiction (a finale) | /r/Greentext

58 KB JPG >be me at 14 years old >Have major hentai addiction >I watch so much milf p--- that I get horny over my Aunt >One day when she's over I go full tardmode and apply my hentai logic >She's on the couch and tell her my penis got big help >I pull it out and she screams >I get banned from internet, games and TV for a full year >Go to therapy >Time passes and I grow and change as a person >Find my brother's Greentext about me so everyone knows my story >I'm humbled and find god >I learn to walk in Christ's light >My aunt's husband leaves her and I apologize to her while leaving her a Walmart gift card worth $100 >My brother transitions to a female >I travel to other countries and provide service, rebuilding villages and helping grow food >I become the change I want to see in the world and quit watching p--- >Years pass and I'm sitting in my apartment >My aunt knocks on my door >She's wondering if she can stay over >I accept >She's staying on the couch in a tank top and asks if she can take it off >Fast forward a few mins and I'm f------ my aunt on my couch >It's everything I had ever wanted it to be Never give up on your dreams

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We were going to build our lives together | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/25/16(Tue)20:11:08 No.75697195 hqdefault_0.jpg 11 KB JPG >oh, you're sad because a girl at your high-school doesn't like you back? Peter, when I was your age, I left school to bullseye g---- from a helicopter in the middle of some god forsaken jungle. Don't tell me you have it hard because you're a pathetic kissless virgin. You can act sad when you have to leave behind the lady-boy you fell in love with and made passionate steamy love to in a collapsing bamboo shack, just like I did. You think I felt good about firebombing his chink village and watching our f----hut burn to the ground? We were going to build our lives together there, Peter! You know what? F--- you. Get the f--- out of my car. >>75697234 # >>75697332 # >>75698895 # >>75702735 #

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Anon doesn't like being sober | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: WPvAH4bM) 355 KB JPG 10/06/22(Thu)23:56:24 No.16260504 >drink alcohol >better at everything, speak better and more clearly, stop shaking, better with women, funnier >literally better at everything >sober >sad frightened pathetic f----- why does it have to be this way 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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anon lacks the looks | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 150 KB JPG 03/08/22(Tue)08:06:59 No.67699733 Has a girl ever stopped talking to you after you showed your face to them on the internet? Anonymous >>67699733 (OP) Multiple times. One example: >meet girl (female) on WoW >hit it off and spend a month talking on the phone every night >she wants to trade pictures 03/08/22(Tue)08:18:09 No.67699810 >she's a qt3.14 somehow w-- >send mine >raucous laughter erupts in the background from what I assume is a friend or sister >"that's what he looks like!?" >"oh my god hahaha" >phone hangs up >next day discover I've been thrown out of guild and blocked for 'harassing a female member'

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Anon didn’t take his pills today | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ITT: Times fate screwed you ov(...) 5 KB JPG 10/07/22(Fri)07:57:06 No.70488332 >be me >In large dorm building >On highest floor >Take the elevator down to ground floor >Stops at floor right below me >qt3.14 8/10 gets on, smiles at me, and starts talking to me >She's really nice >Elevator is slow as f--- so we talk for like a minute >Elevator stops at ground floor >Doesn't open >ohfuck.jpg >She starts to freak out >She asks me what to do and is trying to get me to figure out how to open it >Finally after another minute the door opens >She starts crying and runs up the stairs back to her room >Never see her again I think fate wants me to die alone

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Anon dreaming about being sentient pillow and said that imageboard is infecting their dream | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/06/22(Thu)18:01:25 No.27892934 >dream I have a sentient pillow for some reason >it has gender dysphoria and believes that it's a girl >get tired of it f------ whining and crying all the time 294 KB PNG >stab it with a knife in a fit of rage >f--- the hole >the pillow ends up being grateful for the impromptu SRS >it feels loved and cared for and falls in love with me because I took its (her) virginity Do trannies really? I gotta get off this f------ board you are infecting my dreams

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