Would you care for some juice frens? | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 39 minutes ago 8923623523.png (203.7 KB, 498x498) 72168584 >at resteraunt >group behind me >lady: "a man owns victorias secret??" >a man replies: "who do you think owns the majority of companies?" >don't say it don't say it don't say it

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is stolen from | /r/Greentext

>Go in for prostate exam >Doctor walks in, prepares to administer the test >Notice something off in the way he moves, by the time I realize what's happening the door has been sealed >The doctors chest rips open, revealing the prostate goblins controlling his spinal cord >One jumps out and latches itself around my neck, can hear the others scurrying towards me as I blackout >Wake up with searing pain in ass >The bastard's stole my prostate 43 KB JPG

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Anon doesn't have a choice. | /r/Greentext

1h (2/9 20:39) 72161497 · 28 Re . 7 Img JPG 173KB (1280 × 720) · maxresdefault.jpg 3 Replies >anon, don't you think it's bad for your health that you never go outside or exercise? >yes mother, but I don't exactly have a choice in the matter. We moved from a 90% white city, to a city with more blacks than whites. That, and you can't get anywhere without a car. The closest business is an hours walk each way. >gaslighting ensues I really don't understand how parents can be so oblivious. It would take 5 minutes of consideration to completely understand my issues, but they refuse to do so. They just want to gaslight me and peddle falsehoods in order to abscond responsibility for the way I turned out. Because of this, it's hard to feel bad when I let the truth slip out and they melt down.

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Now we wait for Anon to get chopped up in the Congolese jungle | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Pros of Monke Cons of Monke 150 KB JPG 07/26/21 (Mon)07:45:28 No.859709433 >be me >Be depressed loser with no direction >Sadface >Randomly see return to monke meme >You know that's actually kinda funny >Start researching more about chimps and gorrilas Hey these guys are actually really cool >Want to learn more >Decide I'm going back to school for zoology >Apply for internship at zoo to work with gorrilas >While there meet a cute girl who works with tigers >Eventually planning on going to the congo for research Thank u monke very cool

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divided by war, united by coom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: aqSLzNzh)I S 02/09/23(Thu)15:17:56 No.415469707 LITTLE PORNY Countries that search for MLP p--- more than the worldwide average. Belarus 462% Russia 427% Ukraine 326% P--- hub MLP INSIGHTS O Rule 34 >>415469150 (OP) # They are the same. Posts Comments Tags Wiki Documentation My Little Pony x Search photo_2023-01-13_23-38-50.jpg 155 KB JPG

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Kindergarten cop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Lolicon Go 01/14/23(Sat)21:47:20 No.28124824 >I want to make an app called Lolicon-Go >Basically a Knockoff Pokémon Go >But instead of Pokemon, you catch animated lolies on your IRL phone cam >They are only located around Elementary Schools and kindergartens >Once you catch one, it send an automated screenshot with your location, name and phone number, to the local police. >Try to explain that you were only trying to photograph the fake children and not the real ones, you Sick F--- Let's work on ideas to catch predators. 640 KB JPG

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Anon wants to be white | /r/Greentext

>be white man in his 20s >wake up on a saturday >finally get a weekend break from your 6 figure STEM job >text back all your trad chad bros and egirls from the night before >shave yourself, other hygiene isn't important in a white mans life >put on some skatewear, streetwear just a hoodie/jeans or business casual >tell your laid back parents that you'll be out for a bit while they cook that century old family recipe >your parents are chill and dont care what you do as long as you graduated college and have any job >hang out around the woods, the lake, or your condo >playing or making music, skating, smoking weed, doing shrooms, working out at the gym, hiking, biking, bouldering, kayaking, playing some vidya or off road driving >evening time and you're sitting at the chat philosophizing about/pol/ and /x/ s--- with your boys >gotta get ready for that rave party you going to tonight with the chads >you meet up with Zoey at the party with the sleeve tattoo >she's still bad as f--- >you f--- the s--- out of her and get wasted >get home at 2 in the morning >sleep like a baby because you got next week off too, paid vacation >it was a damn good day Just watched the movie Scott Pilgrim and I was so envious of how chill their lives were. I wish I was white so f------ much. I didn't realize how soulless my life was as some chronically online NEET nigcel with no family or community or friends to help lift me from this void. It's either go to college, become tyrone with 8 kids at 22, or get shamed forever. White people live on easy mode it's not fair.

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Anon tries to do a good deed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)16:51:08 No.72163100 >Be me. NEET f-- >Go to pick up my little brother from his school. >Standing outside waiting with other parents. >Autistic so I look up at the school and start counting the windows. >Notice movement in one if the windows. >Its a pigeon trapped between the glass and window drape. W--.png >Kids come out with their teachers. >Tell little bro to go and let his teacher know about the bird. Good deed of the day.mp4 >We leave after he come back FF to next day. >Pick up bro again. Ask him about his teacher and her reaction to the bird problem. MFW he tells me, "They saved the bird. But she also laughed at you for just looking up and staring at windows."

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Anon got himself into a pickle on discord | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i got myself into a pickle 65 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)14:31:58 No.72158278 >be me >25 year old with autism and bpd >is lonely one night >starts looking in femboy discord servers >notices a server where it's owned by a femboy looking for a dom >joins for s---- and giggles >main owner adds me >starts flirting with me >i flirts with him back >he tells me that he is 17, despite him not saying anything earlier >starts to panic >tells him that i don't want to pursue a relationship with him >starts to essentially guilt trip me >tells him that i don't want to hurt him >starts going after me more, telling me that he genuinely does want me and he doesn't care about the gap. that he doesn't deserve a healthy relationship, etc. >and this has gone on for 2 days guys, what do i do? on one hand, i feel bad for rejecting him and i feel inclined to do it but, my conscience is telling me that he is too young for this and i would hurt him if the relationship happened. i am sick and tired of being lonely but, i don't want to hurt people either. it sucks because, i am such a people pleaser and i don't wanna hurt his feelings... >inb4 people tell me to kill myself and call me a p---

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Fat and unfit people are gross | /r/Greentext

Zoomers are the least fit generation on record Zoomers are the least fit gene(...) O Who is it? 02/09/23(Thu)05:53:27 No.69897562 GENERACION SUICIDA 1675918805312219.png 2.16 MB NG >In 2021, around 70 percent of Millennial respondents from the United States stated that they participated in fitness sports, making them the generation with the highest participation rate. The generation with the lowest participation in fitness sports was Gen Z. https://www.statista.com/statistics/1051774/us- participation-in-fitness-sports-by-generation/ : Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)06:04:49 No.69897637 >>69897562 (OP) # I remember reading that American troops would throw grenades with such accuracy and speed that they'd often hit the person they're throwing it at. But 80 years ago something around 75% of the American male population played baseball. >>69897779 # >>69900961 # >>69902060 #

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Anon is a surgeon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)11:58 >be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectly with no mistakes everyone thanks god

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Anon rejects the rejector | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Creepy Anon my name is n last year, i went on a date with a dude and when i told him i was reading Animal Farm again, he laughed obnoxiously for an entire minute and said i was too old to be reading children's books think about that a lot. wonder if he's still an idiot. de t teraturs You dive pi que read chin boks 303 KB JPG 09/08/22(Thu)14:38:45 No.70130546 >Be me >See cute girl in corner of the room > Bunch of empty desks around her > Sit right next to her > occasionally stare at her > then go back to staring at the lecture > Spread my legs as wide as they can go > When ever she pulls her phone out I stare at it > Make her every moment in the class unbearable without doing anything bad I do this occasionally to get my revenge on all the women who rejected me 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon has a doctor's appointment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What a horrible day... 11 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)09:41:07 No.72158690 >Have to get up at 6 am >Have a hospital appointment >Walk to the bus stop >Bus is running late and its f------ freezing >Finally it arrives >2 and a half hour ride with drug addicts and crazy peope >Get off at my stop >Have to walk an hour and a half to the hospital >Wait around until I get to the outpatients desk >"Oh sorry your appointment was cancelled last f------ second you dont need to be here" >"We called you about it but no one answered" >Walk all the way back to the train station >Bus is late again >really need to s--- >But dont want to miss the bus >Bus comes s---- cold as f--- >Get on board >REALLY have to s--- >Go to the toilet >It f------ stinks >Shid in the terlet >It gets F------ CLOGGED >It smells f------ god awful >Im about to pass out but dont want to open the door because its going to stink up the bus for the next 3 f------ hours >Say f--- and get out of there asap >door is open for 2.3 thato seconds as I slip out of there like a ninja >Old lady on the bus shrieks in horror >"OH GOOD F------ HEAVEN THAT STINKS WHAT THE F--- IS WRONG WITH YOU" >Try to explain it wasn't me >No one believes me >S--- stinks so bad you have no idea >People are dry heaving and giving me dirty looks like I did it >Get off the bus about an hour and a half early with my head held low in shame >Walk back for about 2 and a half hours down cramped country lanes >At least the weather isn't f------ terrible WHAT A F----- UP DAYYYYYYYYYY

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