Anon is a wizard | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 104 KB PNG >turns green >mfw 7 Replies 06/10/20(Wed)02:36:44 No.82965001- >at a stop light >light is red "go green.... NOW >still red "go green... NOW >still red "go green... NOW View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon finally understands Obi-Wan | /r/Greentext

9h (7/24 7:25) 171542194 242 Re 20 Img JPG 300KB (1400x1400) 25 Replies . >You WILL give me two free slaves, a free ship, and a large soda in exchange for a stack of worthless Zimbabwe dollars what was his f------ problem :

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Anon is a PDF file | /r/Greentext

File: syrianloli.png (648 KB, 1153x1154) Muhammad Smiry Muhammatimay "Pull me out and I will do whatever you want, I will be your servant!" Syrian child saying to the rescuer C15 008. 41 AM-Fe7.2023 2.4M 20.5K 3,017 Que Te 52.1K WWYD Anonymous 02/08/23(Wed)20:02:01 No.894027864 [Reply] ► >>894036587 >>894038586 What would you do? + 134 replies and 90 images omitted. Click here to view. >> ☐ Anonymous 02/08/23 (Wed)23:30:20 No.894036587 >>894027864 (OP) hey OP, have you considered killing yourself? >> Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)00:20:35 No.894038586 >> Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)00:48:19 No.894039701

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Anon didn’t get the sale | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Working sales job selling floors >Kinda new so desperate for sales >Old guy, at least 70, comes to our store 187 KB PNG >Heavy Brooklyn accent >Pick out some stuff, sit down at desk to crunch numbers and make bid. >Notice he has one of those military veteran hats that old veterans always glue to their scalps >thankyouforyourservice.pander >Starts telling me about how crazy tough he had to be as a marine >Sounds like he was in Vietnam but he's so old he must have been like 40 then >Pretend to be impressed >Need to make this sale >Old guy looks around then stands up >"Watch this" >With all his strength he starts slamming his fists into his sides >About 3 solid hits >He sits down obviously in great pain >"That would have made most men keel over" >Try not to show I'm in shock and continue to act impressed >He takes his samples and leaves >Guy never shows up for next appointment, doesn't answer any follow up calls. >This guy committed Marine seppuku in my store and I'm pretty sure he died when he got home. >Didn't get the sale

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Steam Deck Owner Asks for Girl's Number | /r/Greentext

"Hey cutie, nice bod, how about giving me those digits?" > Slams backpack down > Heaves out Steam deck from protective case > Gives screen a good clean with a few spritzes of anti-bac spray > Fans burr loudly as I turn it on > My custom boot up animation of my favourite Genshin Impact Waifu runs > "HELLO. MASTER. YOURE. QUITE. GOOD AT. TURNING. ME ON." > Switch to Desktop mode > Wait for it to load > Hands too slimey from chicken grease and sweat to use track pad > Lick them clean > Open a text file after fumbling and misclicking for a few minutes >Battery runs out > Sigh heavily > Fish out power bank from backpack > Hook it up, damn thing looks like its on life support > Wait a bit for some power to transfer > Hit the power button again > Fans whir so fast I have to cover my ears and yell "ALMOST THERE, HON" > "HELLO. MASTER. YOURE. QUITE. GOOD AT. TURNING. ME ON." > Power bank runs out > Look up and ask if there's a power outlet nearby She's been gone a while Reply Share ...

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Anon exposes Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

No.153617911 07/14/21 (Wed)19:51:44 1617090666052.jpg JPG 42.2 KiB 340x226 : >"Help, help! Cedric Diggory has been killed! Yes, Cedric Diggory, my main rival as Hogwarts Champion and object of Cho Chang's affection, has been killed in the maze! Voldemort did it! He's been dead for thirteen years, but he's back, and he killed Cedric! Don't ask how, no one ask how! There were no witnesses, please do not look for any! The other two Champions in the maze were cursed with Imperio! Don't bother fetching your Veritaserum, professor Snape, I believe it's all been stolen. I am so upset right now! Has anyone seen Cho? When do I get the prize money?"

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anon's gf is gender fluid | /r/Greentext

gf is genderfluid 57 KB PNG 02/08/23(Wed) 23:17:12 No.894036039 >be me >Gf identifies as genderfluid >Be on the couch watching TV >start kissing her >Sexy Time.avi >Unzip her pants and go down on her >She's really enjoying it, feel like she's about to c-- >Raise my eyes because I really like watching her c-- >Wait... >She's grinning at me >OHFUCKNOTAGAIN >Amongus imposter theme starts playing >My mouth is instantly filled by her massive c--- >Quickly grows almost twice her size in height and muscle mass as she switches sex >hairy as f--- >Gag as she forces my head down in a d--------- >As I go up to catch my breath, she grabs me by my waist as I'm a play thing >Tosses me on the other side of the room with her apeman arms >I beg for mercy as she approaches me >Get f----- in the ass, whimpering >Nut inside me letting out a caveman roar >Reverts back to girl as she goes to make dinner >I stayed naked on the floor crying for almost an hour

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anon does something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 452 KB JPG 02/08/23(Wed) 23:35:54 No.894036808 >13 yo from my villages opens up an instagram acount >she starts posting stuff >the more slutty stuff she posts the more followers she starts to get >the more followers she gets the more slutty the stuff she posts get >i start posting the stuff she posts on /b/, with her name and age fully vissible >a month later she closes her acount and disapears from online life Did i do the morally correct thing? pic related

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Anon anticipates workplace karma | /r/Greentext

File: terrydavis.jpg (70 KB, 640x480) Anonymous 02/06/23 (Mon)18:08:00 No.893947761 [Reply] >be me >have work from home job for 2 years now >manager randomly asks me if I'm playing games or doing other stuff during my job >I say no >they say hmm alright... What do I do now? Are they thinking about canning me? I browse the chans and work on my projects all shift...

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Anon lives in the future | /r/Greentext

File: 167584852617893129.jpg (52 KB, 738×481) Anonymous 02/06/23 (Mon)11:14:38 No.89402461: > be me > lying lazy on the couch > sun shining on the TV > "Hey Google, turn off the sun" > doesn't work > f------ legacy s---

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Anon faith is tested | /r/Greentext

>be me, muslimfag on a plane >passenger chad says allah doesn't exist, I say he does >chad bets me $10 I cant prove it >hijack the plane by threatening the pilot with a boxcutter >fly plane around in most heavily defended airspace in the world for a while >system has never failed to intercept a flight >thanks to allah most amerifag fighter jets are MOLY 139 KB PNG away on a war games exercise >the rest don't intercept me because today they're running an exercise where planes get hijacked and flown into buildings and their radar screens are full of fake blips >amerifag vice president changed the protocol 3 months prior so he has to personally approve interceptions for the first time ever >allah allows passengers to make cell phone calls despite being 3 times higher than cell tower range and going too fast to connect >fly plane smoothly at 586mph, almost 50% faster than max speed of 400mph where the wings should start to rip off >4 generals responsible for worst defence failure in history all to be given promotions >chad still not convinced of allah's power >fly plane into tower, fuel pours down elevator shaft, gets out, enters another elevator shaft and continues down causing explosions all the way to the basement and making building collapse and disintegrate at free fall speed, setting fire to another skyscraper containing CIA and DoD offices which also collapses at free fall speed and melts steel which stays molten months after collapse, destroys indestructible black box of plane >mfw my passport flies out the window and lands face up on the sidewalk unscathed >mfw chad owes me $10

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Anon is still transphobic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Uhh... 02/07/23(Tue)16:39:48 No.626872642 KEEM @KEEMSTAR 26m Will you buy Hogwarts Legacy? No, i stand against Hate. Yes, I'm Transphobic. Ⓒ 11,982 votes 23 hours 33 minutes left 231 47 275 80.1K 17% 83% 6D5CAF0A-81CA-4432-9E65-B7DD4F3677BE.jpg 53 KB JPG 02/07/23(Tue)16:42:52 No.626872836 : Anonymous No, but I'm still transphobic. >>626872959 # >>626872981 # >>626873046 # >>626873269 # >>626873307 # >>626873314 # >>626873354 # >>626873405 # >>626873413 # >>626873481 # >>626873553 # >>626873780 # >>626873871 # >>626874043 # >>626874171 # >>626874176 # >>626874280 # >>626874307 # >>626874338 # >>626874410 #

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So what would have happened had the commanding officer had died? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/26/21(Sun)23:19:26 No.12001977 >be stationed on some crappy island at the end of the war 81 KB JPG >pamphlets signed by the general announcing the war's end, as well as letters from family, dropped into the jungle >dismiss it all as a trick >spend 30 years hiding in jungle, shooting farmers and burning crops despite no obvious signs of war because muh orders and muh emperor >a fellow Japanese comes along eventually and confirms the war indeed ended 30 years ago >still refuse to surrender >only surrender after forcing the Japanese government to locate former commanding officer and have him travel to the island and deliver surrender orders from the manlet emperor in person Was it autism?

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