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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

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Anon goes on a cruise | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 360 KB PNG 08/08/20(Sat)21:36:09 No.59475320 >on a Swedish cruise ship >I have to s--- really badly >take a nice huge dump and try to flush the toilet >toilet's broken >no matter how hard I try, the s--- won't flufh >go find a cleaning lady >I don't speak Swedish, she doesn't speak English >grab her hand and pull her to a man's toilet >point at the giant s--- you took >the only word I know in Swedish is "titta" ("look") >s--- flushes normally >mfw

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Anon could’ve joined | /r/Greentext

23 KB JPG >be me >16 >go on my first adventure >go into a ditch which leads into the sewers >so far so good >hear grunts >whatthefuck.png >flash light towards the sound >I see two homeless men having the nastiest sex ever >I scream and they turn towards me >ohfuck.avi >Sprint outta there >go home and sit on bed trying to fathom what the F--- I just saw >mfw

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Anon discovers socializing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 111 KB JPG 06/19/22(Sun)07:15:52 >friends forced me to go to a party >got drunk and actually made out with a girl for the first time No.69100659 i didnt even put any effort into talking with her, w--? im legit spamming parties until im no longer a virgin : Anonymous anon losing his virginity any% 06/19/22(Sun)07:19:01 No.69100678

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Anon has a VERY specific type... Part 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous vampire gf 89 KB JPG 02/06/23(Mon)22:39:21 No.72127973 Would you date a female vampire? >looks 15, but is actually 90 >was a romani jew that got sent to a labor camp during WW2 and somehow became a vampire and escaped >will live at your home cause she has none >will stay inside during daytime >pretty good at credit card and identity fraud so she can help with rent and bills >will go out and murder people for blood every couple weeks or so. prefers you not ask her about it >will also go out at night to break into mailboxes or cars for more fraud s--- >doesn't like being called a vampire, declares she isn't one >former vagrant who used to never stay in one place for long >longer she stays in the area more likely feds will start investigating her killings >can beat you in chess >likes shoegaze >knows how to skateboard fairly well >will kill anyone who tries to bring you harm >loves you >can fly >does not want to turn you into a vampire

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Anon wanted to help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/23(Tue)20:02:55 No.72133167 >Be me >Very depressed >Always in my room. Never help parents with house chores. >Decides to change things >Goes to the kitchen. Dad is cooking stew. I decide I'll help him. >He gives me the ingredients but I'm not sure what to do with them since I don't know how to cook 28 KB JPG >Asks him a question >He turns to face me and accidentally drops the broth >awshit.jpg >He starts shouting at me >"Anon this is your fault for being a useless p------------! Go back to your room!" I feel like s---. I just wanted to help.

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Anon goes head over heels for pizza | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/23(Tue)08:42:32 No.72132709 1661627006410983.jpg 356 KB JPG >was 14 or 15 y/o >playing WoW >home alone / ordered pizza one weekend >*ding dong* at the door >wanted to get the pizza and get back to computer fast >bolt out of my room and try to run down stairs >slip and fall down the stairs very hard >got the wind knocked out of me, completely laid out >takes a bit of time to recover >hobble to the door, completely out of breath and can barely talk >tell the delivery guy sorry for taking so long while looking like I just ran a marathon, give him $20 and he leaves that's all, that really f------ sucked though. I was only like 5'5 and well over 200lbs at the time, so I took a pretty hard fall down like 12feet of stairs >>72132722 # >>72132730 #

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Anon thinks Batman is racist | /r/Greentext

File: 1340667601734.jpg-(103 KB, 394x600, Batman comic.jpg) Anonymous 06/25/12(Mon)19:40 No.38129422 Batman is a racist character, he himself is the archetypal white hero, with blue eyes no less. All his villains are caricatures of races and groups. The Penguin is a jew Hugo Strange is a psychiatrist and sociologist Poison Ivy is an environmentalisy lesbian Bane is a hispanic man with communist ideals The Joker is a representation of the criminal justice system and it just goes on and on and on Anonymous 06/25/12(Mon)19:44 No.38129606 File: 1340667876272.jpg-(81 KB, 576x534, 1320524999826.jpg) >Batman is racist because he is white and has blue eyes.

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Anon on zoomer girls. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 VV. 680 KB JPG 02/08/23(Wed)03:48:17 No.72136254 >22 >Demisexual >Pansexual >Atheist >Dyed hair Why are zoomer girls so appalling?

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Water is the essence of wetness | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.73 MB PNG 07/05/21(Mon)11:09:48 No.64453400 >be me >look for entry level jobs on the ads on the joblist site >"water tester" >"competitive salary" >you have to understand that I am stupid to the point of almost being mentally disabled >I show up thinking I'm going to taste test water >no >but my interviewer laughs and tells me I'm hilarious >I get a uniform and a schedule >all I have to do is put strips of paper into samples and record colors onto a pad of grid paper and then write a report >my job is so boring I'm literally posting on 4chan on company time

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Anon did the impossible | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.09 MB GIF 08/02/21 (Mon)16:57:07 No.8602 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree'

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anon hates the british | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB JPG 01/06/19(Sun)10:53:20 No.789251811 >be me >over the border racist >sleep with underage niece >hate the British for humiliating my country's people >cool mustache >spend a lot of time outside of said county >can give firebomb public speeches >write a book about how my people are oppressed >people favor me 4 Replies >rise to power >consider WW2 as the opening of opportunities >be Gandhi >pic unrelated View Thread

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Anon sees something he wasn’t supposed to see | /r/Greentext

>be 19 >alone in own house >house is grade Il listed building in england - at least 500 years old >cat and labrador keeping me company in living room >gets to midnight >start hearing foxes out in garden scratching and screaming (foxes scream like banshees - that's the sound a fox makes) >suddenly they stop >cat and labrador raise heads and look toward garden window >lab growling, cat just stares >something scratching at front door >stops scratching >hear knocks a couple of times >notleavingmyseat.avi >hear the letterbox being opened >something being pushed through it >shut room door and bolt it the f--- shut >thing outside starts growling >weird lights at window >hear it rubbing up at house walls >close curtains and blinds >turn off room lights >turn on outdoor lights >see outline >s--- self >immediately dig out ecstasy and take tablet >ferociously message friend on Facebook >call police >say "f------ monster in garden pls send help" >lab is going crazy at this point, whining and burying its face in the sofa >cat is in my lap, under dressing gown >thing outside is quadruped, bout the size of a car >neighbour yells out to shut the f--- up >presumably sees it >nopes the f--- back in and calls police >apparently police don't ignore two separate prank calls >police car shows up >officer sees thing in driveway >thing in driveway sees officer >thing f---- off over hedge >friend pulls up, runs to door >officer screaming for backup, can hear him s------- himself >feeling effects of drug now, don't care >open living room to door to let friend in >arse end of fox with entrails sticking out lying on floor >open door for friend >spend entire rest of night telling terrified officer I like him and he's a good man, while officer struggling to calm down >unmarked vehicles show up a few hours later >fix damage to wall and porch roof >clean up inside >offer to overlook drugs possession in return for silence >friend and me say sure

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Greentext Stories - Anon tries a demo | /r/Greentext

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