Anon goes head over heels for pizza | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 02/07/23(Tue)08:42:32 No.72132709 1661627006410983.jpg 356 KB JPG >was 14 or 15 y/o >playing WoW >home alone / ordered pizza one weekend >*ding dong* at the door >wanted to get the pizza and get back to computer fast >bolt out of my room and try to run down stairs >slip and fall down the stairs very hard >got the wind knocked out of me, completely laid out >takes a bit of time to recover >hobble to the door, completely out of breath and can barely talk >tell the delivery guy sorry for taking so long while looking like I just ran a marathon, give him $20 and he leaves that's all, that really f------ sucked though. I was only like 5'5 and well over 200lbs at the time, so I took a pretty hard fall down like 12feet of stairs >>72132722 # >>72132730 #

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon thinks Batman is racist | /r/Greentext

File: 1340667601734.jpg-(103 KB, 394x600, Batman comic.jpg) Anonymous 06/25/12(Mon)19:40 No.38129422 Batman is a racist character, he himself is the archetypal white hero, with blue eyes no less. All his villains are caricatures of races and groups. The Penguin is a jew Hugo Strange is a psychiatrist and sociologist Poison Ivy is an environmentalisy lesbian Bane is a hispanic man with communist ideals The Joker is a representation of the criminal justice system and it just goes on and on and on Anonymous 06/25/12(Mon)19:44 No.38129606 File: 1340667876272.jpg-(81 KB, 576x534, 1320524999826.jpg) >Batman is racist because he is white and has blue eyes.

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Anon on zoomer girls. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 VV. 680 KB JPG 02/08/23(Wed)03:48:17 No.72136254 >22 >Demisexual >Pansexual >Atheist >Dyed hair Why are zoomer girls so appalling?

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Water is the essence of wetness | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.73 MB PNG 07/05/21(Mon)11:09:48 No.64453400 >be me >look for entry level jobs on the ads on the joblist site >"water tester" >"competitive salary" >you have to understand that I am stupid to the point of almost being mentally disabled >I show up thinking I'm going to taste test water >no >but my interviewer laughs and tells me I'm hilarious >I get a uniform and a schedule >all I have to do is put strips of paper into samples and record colors onto a pad of grid paper and then write a report >my job is so boring I'm literally posting on 4chan on company time

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Anon did the impossible | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.09 MB GIF 08/02/21 (Mon)16:57:07 No.8602 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree'

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anon hates the british | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB JPG 01/06/19(Sun)10:53:20 No.789251811 >be me >over the border racist >sleep with underage niece >hate the British for humiliating my country's people >cool mustache >spend a lot of time outside of said county >can give firebomb public speeches >write a book about how my people are oppressed >people favor me 4 Replies >rise to power >consider WW2 as the opening of opportunities >be Gandhi >pic unrelated View Thread

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Anon sees something he wasn’t supposed to see | /r/Greentext

>be 19 >alone in own house >house is grade Il listed building in england - at least 500 years old >cat and labrador keeping me company in living room >gets to midnight >start hearing foxes out in garden scratching and screaming (foxes scream like banshees - that's the sound a fox makes) >suddenly they stop >cat and labrador raise heads and look toward garden window >lab growling, cat just stares >something scratching at front door >stops scratching >hear knocks a couple of times >notleavingmyseat.avi >hear the letterbox being opened >something being pushed through it >shut room door and bolt it the f--- shut >thing outside starts growling >weird lights at window >hear it rubbing up at house walls >close curtains and blinds >turn off room lights >turn on outdoor lights >see outline >s--- self >immediately dig out ecstasy and take tablet >ferociously message friend on Facebook >call police >say "f------ monster in garden pls send help" >lab is going crazy at this point, whining and burying its face in the sofa >cat is in my lap, under dressing gown >thing outside is quadruped, bout the size of a car >neighbour yells out to shut the f--- up >presumably sees it >nopes the f--- back in and calls police >apparently police don't ignore two separate prank calls >police car shows up >officer sees thing in driveway >thing in driveway sees officer >thing f---- off over hedge >friend pulls up, runs to door >officer screaming for backup, can hear him s------- himself >feeling effects of drug now, don't care >open living room to door to let friend in >arse end of fox with entrails sticking out lying on floor >open door for friend >spend entire rest of night telling terrified officer I like him and he's a good man, while officer struggling to calm down >unmarked vehicles show up a few hours later >fix damage to wall and porch roof >clean up inside >offer to overlook drugs possession in return for silence >friend and me say sure

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Anon is a deep thinker | /r/Greentext

74 KB JPG One day, someone will think about you for the last time in eternity. You will be forgotten by the world and the universe.

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Anon forgot to take his meds again | /r/Greentext

768x1024) ☐/fit/ Mire thread Anonymous 01/12/23(Thu)13:13:19 No.69569408 [Reply] >pull day >doing my usual set of deadlifts >start warming up >2pl8 >3pl8 >3.5 >I notice a guy and his gf start using the nearby leg press >start loading up 4pl8 >guy looks in disbelief that I can lift it >both him and his gf watch as I lift 4pl8 >dude looks visibly upset >caught his gf looking at my crotch later

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father son moment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: q1S8wdt2 07/20/14(Sun)00:27:43 No.557553041 >>557551179 (OP) # >walk by the den one day >computer is within view of the door >dad is on the computer, doesnt 55 KB JPG hear mewalk by >viewing some creepshots of milfy news anchors thighs on google images >can see his has 3 other pages pushed to the side from other p--- sites. He's viewing them all at once in a frenzy >chuckle, and walk away >week later I come in late at night, stoned like a cheating muslim women >dad is standing in the kitchen with a baggie from my stash >"anon, just what the hell is this?" >"...well, I can tell you what its not.... a google search of your favorite news anchors thighs" >dead silence hangs in the air, he gives me a nod and leaves the room >mfw >never speak about ethier incident again probably the closest father and son moment we've ever had

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anon falls for a girl | /r/Greentext

File: CDC8FA19-3CC2-4A08-9123-B().jpg (47 KB, 648x617) Anonymous 02/07/23(Tue)09:22:39 No.893968272 >be me >lonely 28 year old virgin >post on Reddit about feeling lonely >random onlyfans girl messages me >start chatting >she's cool >tell mom I have a girlfriend and need money for a date >get $300 >start sending money to onlyfans girl >chat with her daily now >talk about more than just sex stuff >were hitting it off >mom says she will be in town on the weekend >wants to go to lunch with me and girlfriend >tell her my girlfriend isn't around this weekend >ask onlyfans girl to pretend to be my girlfriend on FaceTime with my mom >she starts acting weird >log in 4 hours later and she deleted her account >mom thinks I spent the money on drugs and alcohol >this was over a week ago and I haven't talked to her or heard from her since What should I do anons??

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anon is cringe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/23(Tue)14:05:08 No.893968570 >be me >watch internet historian on youtube >watch his videos about 4chan, and how they conquered the internet, from HWNDU, to epic pranks like hacking into Agile etc >they even protected some dude who was been blackmailed by CNN and some f----- on 4chan made up a whole plan called operation (can't remember the name) 76 KB JPG >think 4chan is funny cool >think i can do the same thing >go on 4chan, and make a post about invading some misandrist subreddit called r/femaledatingstrategy and trolling the f--- out of it >"we aren't your personal army" >w-- i thought 4chan was based and redpilled >remember the one time i saw someone on 4chan say: "the great replacement will happen, when the majority of 4chan users are just normies" >tfw when im that normie

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Anon slowly transitioning to normiedom | /r/Greentext

09/20/21(Mon)10:03:28 No.65452461 Anonymous >>65451793 (OP) # NGL, I used to think this was insane until >COVID made me realize I could work without leaving my room, got a remote phone job. Saved every nickle. >My mom put out the word that I was looking for my own place and someone from her church agreed to rent me the apartment over their garage, had been their mother in laws place until she died. Rent is great, only 1/2 walk to a bus stop, and I can work from the tiny apartment >Neighbors are a young couple, he's 26 and works in repair work, she's 25 and a stay at home mom >She is very pretty with red hair, already had three kids when I moved in 9 months ago >My landlady introduced me and he is the 6'3" deep voiced Chad, and she is prettier in person with a big smile and bright blue eyes and a really cure voice >My little balcony looks over their deck and about 1 month in I was drinking a beer and looked down and she was breastfeeding their little one. She just smiled and waved to me >And I changed. It wasn't sexual seeing her like that, all I wanted to do was keep her safe forever. Right then to keep her and that baby safe I would have set myself on fire with a big smile, proud I could help. >Suddenly I like little kids and want to talk to women because I want to see MY wife breastfeeding My kid >About 4 months ago she told me she is expecting her fourth and she laughed at the look on my face and said "We gotta find you a wife!" I do, I need a wife and kids >

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