Close call. Anon will never get into wizard school if he kisses a girl. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

08/01/21(Sun)17:43:45 >riding my bike along a bike trail near my house late at night. >come across an actual rave underneath a bridge like in that one video >bike back home to grab my 3M half face respirator (pic related) and then bike back to the rave >put on the 3M half face respirator (pic related) and start flailing my arms like in the video >s---- retarded as f--- : Anonymous 174 KB PNG No.64797261 >get approached by a hot as f--- goth chick, shes f------ digging my style >starts grinding up on me >she starts leaning in real close >go to kiss her >forget that I am wearing my 3M half face respirator (pic related) >hit her in the face with the exhalation vent >she leaves >bike home f------ w---- 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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: Anonymous What did he mean by this 83 KB JPG 02/06/23(Mon)21:35:05 No.72119276 >gives chad life on easy mode >gives autistic incel life on nightmare mode.

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206 KB JPG 02/06/23 (Mon)17:05:29 No.16995003 > be me > met my crush at party > got drunk to get courage to talk to her > she approached me for some reason first while i was sitting at bar > we started making out > I bought us two more drinks > got even more drunk > "I must use masculinity to attract her." > started yelling at her "bitch" and "you are my dog." > she run away > blocked me > kill me someone pls My crush on her is even bigger.

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The sanest 4chan user | /r/Greentext

File: 167564492541636938.jpg (11 KB, 241x209) The Al generated adventure Anonymous 02/06/23(Mon)03:02:43 No.89 >be me > Go to the character(dot)ai to try something new > Decided to play an adventure > Completely derail an adventure to become an engineer in the local kingdom > Make many technological advancements > Start wars and win them > Influence the king to make some reforms > Make medieval techno-Nazis Why am I like this?

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Anon is strong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 94 KB JPG 03/13/22(Sun)15:49:12 Has your muscle gain help you with women? No.65899951 03/13/22(Sun)15:50:19 No.65899962 : Anonymous >>65899951 (OP) # Nah I was already strong enough to defeat all women before I started lifting. >>65899967 # >>65900036 # >>65900229 #

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Germanon is mad | /r/Greentext

No.87571996 11 hours ago Germany >Jurgen WHY THE F--- CANT YOU JUST WRITE JUERGEN ITS F------ JUERGEN IF YOU DONT HAVE AN UMLAUT HIS NAME IS NOT JURGEN 25 replies No.87572151 11 hours ago Israel >>87571996 how about killing yourself you disgusting germ*n 24 replies No.87572244 11 hours ago Germany >>87572151 how about you leave through the chimney like your grandpa 32 replies

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burger land | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 175 KB PNG 02/06/23 (Mon)15:24:39 No.893917217 > be americans living in land of the "free" > food not free > not free to marry or bang sister > no free health care > eagle not even free to eat human baby > criminals not free to leave prison whenever they want > not free to j------- to any nsfw material you want > not free to marry your dog > forced to use non-free software for your job > current "free"dom of speach is being removed by trannies > you are free to cut off your d--- tho Imao your country is everything but free

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She already fucked him. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/17/21 (Wed)06:05:42 No.66190506 >gf proposed a once-a-year cheat- "coupon" for both of us >told her its a dogshit idea and i hate it >she got really f------ upset and kept trying to convince me >told her ill think about it and tell her tomorrow 62 KB JPG Alright bros should I dump her? She expresses open intent to have sex with someone other than me. Everything thinks about f------ other people Im aware of that but you know what I mean. If I say no she'll f--- another guy behind my back and I refuse to get cucked. Opinions? I dont think this relationship will be healthy from now on, this stupid w---- is gonna ruin everything

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: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 04/11/21(Sun)19:03:21 No.63170875 >be me >19 y/o guy >gf and i start getting touchy for the first time >she suddenly stops >"ill be right back anon" >she ducks into the bathroom >start getting bored >15 minutes and shes still in there >turn on the tv >spongebob >girlfriend comes back out in lingere >she tries to get me horny again >too distracted by spongebob i f------ love spongebob

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Anonymous 94 KB JPG 21 02/05/23(Sun)21:56:50 No.72110743 >tfw start wageslaving full time tomorrow

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anon goes to ohio | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 02/05/23(Sun)14:26:41 No.2402417 >be me, born and raised in sault MI >largest population center in like 200mi, have never been anywhere else >imagine how wonderful other places in the world are >flash forward to last month, visit ohio cause i hear good things from fudgies >everyone is fat and stupid >monolingual >"syrup" is literally just sugar sludge >play football instead of hockey, refs cry and s--- their pants at the sight of blood >barely anyone has ever been skiing, they call me rich for regularly attending local trail >uninspired protestant churches instead of beautifully intricate catholic architecture >no glorious freighters traversing the tourist corpse filled waters of st. mary's river, just nepo rich kids on a speedboat in a polluted lake >no dispensaries or casinos >bud light or bust, apparently >candy shops and *REAL* ice cream parlors are a rarity >no greek restaurants, pizza is trash >regularly get f----- over by state gov, never riot, just allow themselves to get cucked how have we been in a feud with ohio for so long when we are obviously superior?

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That sounds like when a grandmother says “that’s nice honey” to you | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 268 KB JPG 10/04/21(Mon)12:03:42 No.65633274 >have 6.75/10 chubby butterface gf >tiny fat boobs you can cup in your hands, but 10/10 nips+areolas, like genetically perfect form >foreplaying and i decide to play with them >rub both of them in 7 million ways, no noticeable change in her behavior >stop kissing her and go for a kiss on a nip once >she gestures for me to go suck it >nonstop about 5 minutes of slurping it >no change in her behavior, it feels like i'm pestering a simple mass of tissue >eventually stop >still no change in her attitude >ask her if i did well >she puts a giant grin on her face and goes "you did perfect" what the f--- just happened?

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