Anon gets laid | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 727eabd26b697d4d0b6f7afc1(...).jpg (49 KB, 750x1000) VE Anonymous 02/12/23(Sun)21:04:22 No.69939535 [Reply] >>69939713 >>69940323 >>69940338 >>69940400 >>69939610 >>69939620 >>69939658 >>69939674 >hook up with girl in work after flirting for a month >go to her place because I still live with my mom >haven't had sex for years but I'm now in really good shape thanks /fit/ >struggling to c-- because of condom and cooming too much on /gif/ >keep pressing my neck in to her face because she hasn't mentioned my fragrance I found on /fa/ >'anon I can't breathe haha get off' >start flexing in the mirror American psycho style >she laughs and asks what the hell I'm doing >finally c-- >she comes back from bathroom and I mention the pump I have now, she just goes 'oh yeah you have abs' but doesn't seem to care >offers food in morning, says I can cook some eggs >freaks out because I crack open 7 for myself and she was saving them for a cake, she meant take like 2 >feel really guilty and offer to buy more, scared to drink the milk now >she just says it's fine and sighs >I solve her rubiks cube and leave I think I need to get off this website

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon wants friends | /r/Greentext

tolking to my frends on da cmputer Friends Anonymous 02/12/23(Sun)21:36:26 No.72205151 [Reply] >I want friends. >I can't approach people because autistic. People i do talk to i resent and have nothing in common with. >Girls in my university class talk to me but don't see me as a person, but just a man. >I try to make friends with incels and people into incelcore music >same thing >grow to resent most of them >the ones i do like don't like me >i literally don't know what's so unlikeable about me >i want friends >i want to be liked >i don't know what i have to do to make friends.

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anon tries to play a recently bought game | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 109 KB JPG 02/12/23(Sun)00:28:52 No.72183929 >go online >ask how to play a video game that I just bought >all the replies call me a shill who's trying to slander the game and it's devs >mfw

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Anon doesn’t have friends | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/13/23 (Mon)13:13:51 No.72205227 1603858153635.jpg 63 KB JPG I like friend simulators because I have no friends irl

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Anon has a theory on Balloons and Train Derailment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: kcDRrsmL) 02/11/23 (Sat) 18:58:18 No.415826619 ► >>415801196 (OP) >What's going on here? China and/or Russia are probing US air defenses with plausible deniability low cost tech in an ever increasing pentest. First they started with ballons. Now they are moving drones. The US can't simply go public because they can't lose control of the public. If they want war or if they don't want war and avoid a multiple front/multiple enemies problem that's something they want in their own terms. The reason why you see so much movement is because once the US air defense goes hot as part of the protocol they need to change places. Several parts of the array defense constantly need to change positions to avoid being pinpointed through decoys. So every time Russia/China fly around one of its drones tons of SAMS and interceptor jets need to change positions. Actually hillarous to see. Just imagine the amount of money they are making the US lose just by flying around some cheap drones. The US defense system can't simply ignore them because you never know which of those actually carry a nuclear warhead or a small yield bomb that will go straight into critical infrastructure like a power plant or a train moving fuel around.

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Anon has a blind sister | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/17/14(Sun)17:28:45 No.13060514 >>13060617 >>13060643 >>13060682 >>13060858 >>13060888 >>13061053 >>13066697 File: 1406816388020.png (197 KB, 540x370) >>13060169 > so much blind hate > tfw my imouto is blind, lost her sight age 7, had been steadily loosing it since she was 4. > I love my little sister more than anything or anyone > tfw all of the walls in her room are bookshelves full of braille books because she reads constantly > tfw in spite of being blind she can still use a computer due to audio assistance > tfw I saved up all year and bought her a braille terminal for her computer so she can read books > datsmile.jpg For shame /r9k/. sure blind people need more assistance than most other typically sensory impaired people, but they appreciate and love you for it all the more. > tfw when I'm by myself no girl pays attention to me. > when I'm walking my little sister around town, girls won't stop cooing at how I am with her. > tfw a bookshop girl was miring how patient I was getting all the braille books down for her to read the titles and started asking if I was single and my little sister got mad, grabbed my hand, whipped her cane out and lead me out of the shop > "She wouldn't be good for you anon, she sounded like a parasite and her voice was shrill" > tfw hearing that tapping noise on my bedroom door (I live in the attic) at 2 in the morning because she has a headache and can't find the ibuprofen box > tfw she gets lonely and decides to hold the back of my shirt/my shoulder as I go around the house and then gets mad when I tell her to wait in the livingroom because I have to go to the bathroom. > tfw her bat-senses can hear you masturbate at night in spite of playing music over it and she teases you relentlessly for it the next day when nobody is around. > tfw she can smell when it's about to rain Before you point out the obvious I know our deal is unhealthy but I had to watch her lose her sight one day at a time and it tears me up that someone as great as her can't experience life and see the wonders of the planet to the fullest like some crack w---- party girl can.

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anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

File: B5A6D079-A883-44F8-AF78-F(...).jpg (48 KB, 335x350) Anonymous 02/12/23(Sun)12:51:57 No.72198727 [Reply] BWEEEEEEE EEEE EEELELELEELEELELEELELELELLELEEEHH

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Anon loses out on life | /r/Greentext

02/12/23(Sun)13:12:43 No.894240945 >diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 14 >it's severe >drop out of school because I can't cope with life anymore and about to kms >isolate myself at home >it's been seven years >have held on because I love my family and don't want them to hurt >still lost tons of youth and missed experiences Is this on me? Is it my fault for not pushing through it? For not pulling myself up by bootstraps? 16 Replies : Anonymous 283 KB JPG View Thread >>894242665 # : Anonymous >>894242450 # That or they die. My great uncle was like that. He was forced to retire when he hit 84, had been the picture of health up until that point. Over the next year and a half his body just... stopped. Was sad to watch. 02/12/23(Sun)14:17:16 No.894242578 : Anonymous 02/12/23(Sun)14:17:31 No.894242592 Stop feeling sorry for yourself and make change. Life is tough but take a step in the right direction. Hit the f----- gym and finish your schooling

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Anon watched Star Trek: The Next Generation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)16:21:47 No.151821922 >>151821716 Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)16:16:39 No.151821716 religion planet plot, GO! >land on planet >everyone is very religious and worships a sky deity >away team calls them all a bunch of ignorant savages >sky deity shows up and "punishes" the away team >away team realizes that it's an entity made of coherent dildotron particles and that they can modify a phaser to emit an inverse field to disperse the entity >entity shows up again >away team kills the planetary god >smugly congratulate each other for saving these backwards morons Did I get that right?

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Anon is squeaky clean | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 45 KB JPG 04/27/18(Fri)11:24:26 No.767048355 me Had a weird dream last night >In a gym bathroom >Brushing my teeth for whatever reason >finish up, spit water out >Run tongue over teeth >Violent loud sound >Like a thousand balloons rubbing together >Everyone stops and looks at >Nervously try to play it off >Casually say "Squeaky clean boys." >Walk out of gym bathroom >Wake up

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Anon gets blue balled by the british | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Just happened to me my 377 KB PNG 02/12/23(Sun)15:33:42 No.72200886 > be me > masturbating > very nice drawn stuff > read the word "arse" > mind shifts > the voices are now all British > lose boner

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Welcome to the future | /r/Greentext

1.11 MB GIF >be me >Aboard the humanity saving spaceship in 5926A.D >Breeding day >The men have to go out and attract a woman that they will then f--- in a breeding room >I'm almost up, trying to figure out what I'm gonna do to attract a woman >Go out into the room, I'm fully erect and say "it suddenly got big, help me" >One of the ladies in there immediately comes up to me >We have passionate sex >After we're all done she tells me her name >Turns out it's my mom's sister F------ hell

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anon lives in a society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous : Anonymous I wish I had a girlfriend, but women don't really want a short femboy as a bf. Maybe I oughtta become a terrorist or something >>72199949 # : Anonymous >>72199041 (OP) # >femboy terrorist >>72199880 # 1664858991976726.jpg 21 KB JPG >>72199903 # 02/12/23(Sun)23:49:15 No.72199041 02/13/23(Mon)00:00:31 No.72199198 : Anonymous >>72199227 # Yeah, imagine the headlines >>72199929 # >>72199936 # 02/13/23 (Mon)00:02:58 No.72199227 02/13/23 (Mon)00:49:00 No.72199880 : Anonymous >>72199880 # Just make sure you look cute, wear thigh-highs, armsocks and some cringy t-shirt that has something like "Femboy Supremacy" on it. 02/13/23(Mon)00:50:20 No.72199903

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