Anon has a question for normies | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 9c4caa9d68846416642fccbfc(...).jpg (61 KB, 1024x576) DD Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)07:37:37 No.71936791 ► >usual city life >full of fascinating little details ranging from different models of public transport vehicles to crows bickering over pieces of trash >normans wont dont notice any of this >conversation topics limited to literal whos doing literally what >car crash >"oh no, what happened, this is so bad" >proceed to flock to crash site >filming everything for le social media because this is le epic thing that they witnessed >obstruct paramedics and police due to pure retardation why are normies like this?

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon is jaded | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB JPG 01/23/23(Mon)22:09:09 No.71939902 >subscription >subscription >subscription >subscription for subscription >utilities expense increase >buying a house is impossible >everything you buy costs more and people defend it >gas going up >sites track your every move >healthcare is broken still yeah i dont think i wanna help society anymore

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Rule 34 will rue the day they crossed Anon! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)15:47:49 No.71939664 8739487.png 1.1 MB PNG >rule 34 is removing samsung sam p--- They will know pain. : Anonymous >>71939664 (OP) # what will you do without p--- of [generic looking brown haired white woman], anon? it's literally over 01/23/23(Mon)15:49:23 No.71939679

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Anon goes to a cringe gym | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 23 KB JPG 12/01/20(Tue)07:20:53 No.58663104- > looking for a new gym > ask the gym receptionist if their gym is based or cringe > she doesn't understand > pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is based and what is cringe > she laughs and says "it's a good gym sir" > buy a membership > its cringe

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Anon tries to impress | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: hmhOuVd8 ) 06/13/13(Thu)18:56:42 No.486825597 >in high school >10/10 girl invites everyone to house party >go thinking I could make a move on her >get there and can't talk to anyone >even when everyone starts pairing off, making out and grinding each other, I'm just standing by the table taking sips of beer >eventually party dies down, the party girl leaves on a beer run with some older guys >I follow them out to join them being the retard that I was >they let me come with em >get beer, come back to her place, the whole trip I couldn't say anything and I could tell the other guys weren't comfortable with me >decide to man up and talk to her >in back yard, daring each other to do wierd s--- >I join in >one guy tells me to lick the girl's dog's ass >say no >the girl says "if anyone could actually do that id f--- him." >being a retard I didn't know she was joking. >do it >everyone is either laughing at me or giving me a disgusted look >the girl is f------ p----- and screams at me to let go of her dog >"I did it for you." >get literally thrown out of the house >switch highschools

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Anon helps a lady | /r/Greentext

>her fate begins to dawn on her >"um...uhh" >in superhuman state of hyperawarness. >icanseearoundcorners.pdf >she's just frustrated at first that she can't reach her key >looks up >sees me standing there drooling from the mouth >she knows >live in apartment building >walk home from getting coffee >girl from my building is parked at the curb >she's unloading groceries >i mean piles, PILES stuff. 4 free trade canvas bags full of food on each shoulder, holding butterball turkey under one arm, carrying stack of feminazi literature in the other one. waddling with gallon of milk held between her knees >patriarchy mode activate >crush cup of hot coffee in my hand >my granite-hard d--- begins to rip stitches on my jeans >"c-c-c-coould you.....umm" she starts to cry. >i howl to my fellow males in the vicinity >windows in our apartment building start opening, the men know what's up >cars stop, men horny for a display of female oppression get out and watch >seaoftestosterone.jpg >i strut over to her >i grab the doorknob >third degree burns. searing pain just makes me stronger >pupils dilate. hair stands up on back of neck. >d--- starts to get hard >she's sobbing. "c-c-can you....op-p-pen the d-door for me please?" >collapses on the sidewalk. the feminazi literature is soggy from her tears of despair >i roar in victory >the men poised around us start to beat their chests, howling >crush it like in The Incredibles >tear the entire door off its hinges >men are masturbating and grunting like geico cavemen >female oppression levels is up to 11 >she wails in anguish like a wounded animal >i stand over her, stone faced >"it was my privilege." >the men scream and yell in victory >my pants surrendered to my massive boner years ago >she looks up. she sits in the shade of my d--- >"th-th-thank y-y-you....." >i lean down >my mouth next to her ear >closer >it's raining semen and testosterone >this day is declared Anon Day >my coronation is Sunday

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anon’s coworker has an OnlyFans | /r/Greentext

Pytt konselinge get how to unfahamu ni >Be me, college student studying computer science >Have a competitive internship. There are two of us. Only one will get a job when we graduate >The other intern is quitting >A girl from my class is applying >She has an OnlyFans. I found her on the site a few months ago. I'm a subscriber. >She's always better than me in class >Go to the intern manager and let him know that she has an OnlyFans 1.15 MB JPG >Lie and say that she brags about it >Tell him I'm worried about the company's image >MFW she doesn't get the internship Random OnlyFans college girl pic

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Anon knows how hormones work. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: H4k0m0OE) TEEN WHO TRANSITIONED AT 16 NO(...) 08/04/20(Tue)14:33:07 No.271131501 theblaze UK teen girl wanted to be male; got breasts removed, took testosterone. Now 23, she says doctors should have 'challenged' her decision - and is suing. Anonymous (ID: BAvuhMxs) 3 >>271131501 (OP) # >Give woman testosterone >her rational reasoning improves FOLLOW 08/04/20(Tue)14:36:04 No.271131869 >>271132166 # >>271132881 # >>271133223 # >>271134332 # >>271134775 # >>271136263 # >>271136421 # >>271136633 # >>271136659 # >>271136801 # >>271136889 # >>271136910 # >>271136975 # >>271137192 # >>271137688 # >>271137852 # >>271138819 # >>271139068 # >>271139337 # >>271139364 # >>271139495 # >>271139539 # >>271139665 #>>271139676 # >>271139733 # >>271139941 # >>271140571 # >>271141024 # >>271141631 # >>271141918 # >>271141990 # >>271142005 # >>271142025 # >>271142491 # >>271142547 # >>271142555 # 1113000 >>271142674 # >>271143018 # >>271143028 # >>271143099 # >>271143230 #>>271143380 # >>271143477 # >>271143641 # >>271143978 # >>271144138 # >>271144537 # >>271144570 # >>271145019 # >>271145462 # >>271145746 # >>271145891 # >>271146484 # >>271146853 #

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Anon hears his friend have kinky hardcore sex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 01/24/21(Sun)15:04:47 >crashing on couch at friends house >trying to sleep >hear him talking on phone in other room >sounds like he is having phone sex No.845659188 >he farts loudly >'did you hear that baby?' >'you like it when daddy s---- himself?' >'no im naked so it went ALL over the chair' >'not the same one from fajita night last week. My friend is sleeping on that one' >quickly get up and leave >go home and take 20 boiling showers >still haven't replied to any of his texts or calls

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Anon is doin his gf's mom | /r/Greentext

>be me, 15, virgin >gf calls me over >watch movie, bla, bla end up making out on couch >she is touching me all over body >my brain gets scrambled thinking about losing virginity >try to take her bra off >can't do it, because brain started to drift off >"You haven't unhooked lots of bra's, have you Anon?" >"Just your mom's" >wtfdidljustsay.jpg >tells me to leave >explain to her that I didn't mean it >nope.avi >breaks up with me next day >still virgin, hate my life Why do I say these things

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Anon is a doctor | /r/Greentext

>be me >my stomach has been nothing short of a nightmare past few years >living with both IBS and GERD >usually in bathroom for hours everyday on the bowl trying to defecate (usually diarrhea) or/and hurl everything in my stomach up >diet, exercise, medication, none of it works >queue one day last week >cant sleep, up all night with both diarrhea and acid reflux 413 KB PNG >finally had enough >start beating the living s--- out of my stomach >first with a fury of fist punches, then with the base of a shampoo bottle >skin around stomach is starting to bruise >stomach still in knots and my throat is still burning >kick it up a notch >jump belly first onto my bathroom floor over and over again >must have done so a few dozen times at minimum >in between jumps still throwing up and s-------, now with a lot more blood >keep repeating process until i pass out from both pain and exhaustion >wake up next morning >toilet is a mess, bathroom is a mess >stomach area looks like i got beat with a crowbar >a lot of physical pain >try to go and s--- >i dont need to >go the rest of morning without needing to s--- >no stomach flair ups or acid reflux >poop once that day (normal log) >its been 6-7 days with no acid reflux and ive only pooped about 1-2 times everyday since did i cure myself or is my body still in a state of shock?

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anon's life gets fulfilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)21:27:20 No.893136781 952 KB WEBM I just took the best s--- ever. It took me 45 minutes, it had everything from diamond hard logs to pure liquid. The bathroom stunk so bad afterwards I had to open the window to let it air out, I light a match to help with the sulfur and of course sprayed air freshener. Took three flushes and a half roll of toilet paper. At the end of it, just one long fart, about 15 seconds of liquid. Then my bladder was finally empty. Im fairly certain I lost at least 5 pounds. : Anonymous >>893136781 (OP) # Have you tasted the poop? 01/23/23(Mon)21:32:39 No.893136976

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Anon goes to San Francisco | /r/Greentext

File: hooka.jpg (86 KB, 620x465) Anonymous (ID: ak8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:29:45 No.576373696 ► Story time /b/ >be me >be sophomore in college >spring break >decide to go to San Francisco with a few of my bros >I had this one buddy, we'll call him Dave >Dave was a f------ wildcard, this dude would do just about anything for a laugh >In San Francisco after an awful red-eye flight. >Go clubbing every night, having the time of our lives >Eventually our trip was coming to a close, and we only had a couple more days left in San Fran >Decide to go clubbing again, for the third night in a row >After a few hours of clubbing we were pretty freaking inebriated >Finally decide to wander back to our hotel for the night >Begin to stumble back to the hotel, having a great f------ time >We are suddenly approached by one a San Fran's finest, a frighteningly emaciated meth addict h-----. >We are not interested in acquiring vanareal diseases from a crack w----, continue to walk >As we were about to walk by, this h----- said something that I'll never be able to forget >"I'll bet each of you boys ten dollars that you can't s--- on my face" >Dave immediately takes her up on the offer, me and the rest of my friends are too drunk to care >H----- takes us all down to an alley, then proceeds to lay down with her face upwards >> Anonymous (ID: aK8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:30:33 No.576373816► >>576374049 >cont. >"Okay try to s--- on my face" >Dave goes first. >Dave pulls his pants down and exposes his bare ass >Just as he's about to pinch a log off onto this meth addict w----'s forehead, she blows on his a------ >A------ immediately shrivels up like a dehydrated raisin, Dave literally can not s--- on her face >My turn next >I stand over her face, knowing that my ten dollars is at stake >I squeeze my bowels like I've never squeezed them before, and I begin to feel a massive s--- log stirring within me >I had gained confidence, this was my shining moment >Just as I felt the tip of my s--- touching the ring on my a------, a great wind swept up from the prostitute's mouth and instantly closed the gates of my sphincter >Just as Dave had failed before me, I was unnsuccessful in my quest >H----- proceeds to do the same to each of my friends, not a single one of us can s--- on her face >H----- collects sixty bucks, and we finish our journey back to the hotel defeated >All of my friends and I quickly forget the experience, except for Dave >Dave becomes legitimately angy that he wasn't able to s--- on the h-----'s face >Keeps talking about how much he wants his money back >whatever.gif >Next day >Our plane leaves the next morning, so this night was our last in San Francisco >We decide to go around and eat dinner at the cheapest restaurant we can find (after losing our money to the h-----, we decided not to spend much) >Find this nasty "chinese" buffet >Eat a fuckton of food, tons of really spicy stuff >> Anonymous (ID: aK8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:32:03 No.576374040 ► >cont. >Decide to go back to the hotel to chill and start packing >We get back to the Hotel, and a look of pure malice crosses Dave's face >"We're going to get our money back" >Apparently the chinese buffet was beginning to have a serious affect on Dave >Dave runs out of the hotel to go find the h----- from the night before >Friends and I have no choice but to follow >Dave doubles over in stomach pain, still running with the feriocity and determination of a tigress hunting her prey >Dave begins to groan and fart loadly, running even faster than before >Finally arrive at the alley where we met the h----- before >Sure enough, the same meth head prostitute is stading at the same corner >Dave groans through clenched teeth "We want to try and s--- on your face again, double or nothing" >H----- agrees >Takes us back to the same place as before, and lays in the same position >Dave stands over her face as I remain transfixed with anticipation >> Anonymous (ID: aK8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:33:13 No.576374230 ► >cont. >Before the h----- even had time to purse her lips in preparation of closing Dave's sphincter, he began to release an unholy a--- terror the likes of which no man should ever witness >Dave lets out a defeaning warcry as legions of liquid s--- spew forth from between his fiercly vibrating asscheeks >The h-----'s screams of utter terror slowly become muffled as legendary proportions of post-digested spicy asian buffet cover her face and chest >The s--- continues to flow forth as the floodgates of hell remain open >H----- attempts to protect her already scat-buried face with her hands, which are quickly pushed back by the force of Dave's a--- explosion >Finally, Dave's ass slowly putters and flarps itself to sleep >Dave turns around, bare ass quivering from the after affects of what can only be compared to a nuclear blast in order to assess the damage >The H----- is literally covered from head to toe in s---, with a smell reminiscient of the prison cells in Auschwitz >She's not even moving anymore, she just lays still, put into shock by the force of Dave's s--- >Dave turns to us with a serious expression on his face, bare ass still exposed to the breeze >"Holy f--- I've killed her" >The pavement around the hookers head is also drenched in s---, giving the appearence of a grotesque brown halo >Dave quickly pulls his pants back up, and we all sprint away from the alley >Still don't know what happened to that h-----, or if she even survived

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