Anon goes to San Francisco | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: hooka.jpg (86 KB, 620x465) Anonymous (ID: ak8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:29:45 No.576373696 ► Story time /b/ >be me >be sophomore in college >spring break >decide to go to San Francisco with a few of my bros >I had this one buddy, we'll call him Dave >Dave was a f------ wildcard, this dude would do just about anything for a laugh >In San Francisco after an awful red-eye flight. >Go clubbing every night, having the time of our lives >Eventually our trip was coming to a close, and we only had a couple more days left in San Fran >Decide to go clubbing again, for the third night in a row >After a few hours of clubbing we were pretty freaking inebriated >Finally decide to wander back to our hotel for the night >Begin to stumble back to the hotel, having a great f------ time >We are suddenly approached by one a San Fran's finest, a frighteningly emaciated meth addict h-----. >We are not interested in acquiring vanareal diseases from a crack w----, continue to walk >As we were about to walk by, this h----- said something that I'll never be able to forget >"I'll bet each of you boys ten dollars that you can't s--- on my face" >Dave immediately takes her up on the offer, me and the rest of my friends are too drunk to care >H----- takes us all down to an alley, then proceeds to lay down with her face upwards >> Anonymous (ID: aK8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:30:33 No.576373816► >>576374049 >cont. >"Okay try to s--- on my face" >Dave goes first. >Dave pulls his pants down and exposes his bare ass >Just as he's about to pinch a log off onto this meth addict w----'s forehead, she blows on his a------ >A------ immediately shrivels up like a dehydrated raisin, Dave literally can not s--- on her face >My turn next >I stand over her face, knowing that my ten dollars is at stake >I squeeze my bowels like I've never squeezed them before, and I begin to feel a massive s--- log stirring within me >I had gained confidence, this was my shining moment >Just as I felt the tip of my s--- touching the ring on my a------, a great wind swept up from the prostitute's mouth and instantly closed the gates of my sphincter >Just as Dave had failed before me, I was unnsuccessful in my quest >H----- proceeds to do the same to each of my friends, not a single one of us can s--- on her face >H----- collects sixty bucks, and we finish our journey back to the hotel defeated >All of my friends and I quickly forget the experience, except for Dave >Dave becomes legitimately angy that he wasn't able to s--- on the h-----'s face >Keeps talking about how much he wants his money back >whatever.gif >Next day >Our plane leaves the next morning, so this night was our last in San Francisco >We decide to go around and eat dinner at the cheapest restaurant we can find (after losing our money to the h-----, we decided not to spend much) >Find this nasty "chinese" buffet >Eat a fuckton of food, tons of really spicy stuff >> Anonymous (ID: aK8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:32:03 No.576374040 ► >cont. >Decide to go back to the hotel to chill and start packing >We get back to the Hotel, and a look of pure malice crosses Dave's face >"We're going to get our money back" >Apparently the chinese buffet was beginning to have a serious affect on Dave >Dave runs out of the hotel to go find the h----- from the night before >Friends and I have no choice but to follow >Dave doubles over in stomach pain, still running with the feriocity and determination of a tigress hunting her prey >Dave begins to groan and fart loadly, running even faster than before >Finally arrive at the alley where we met the h----- before >Sure enough, the same meth head prostitute is stading at the same corner >Dave groans through clenched teeth "We want to try and s--- on your face again, double or nothing" >H----- agrees >Takes us back to the same place as before, and lays in the same position >Dave stands over her face as I remain transfixed with anticipation >> Anonymous (ID: aK8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:33:13 No.576374230 ► >cont. >Before the h----- even had time to purse her lips in preparation of closing Dave's sphincter, he began to release an unholy a--- terror the likes of which no man should ever witness >Dave lets out a defeaning warcry as legions of liquid s--- spew forth from between his fiercly vibrating asscheeks >The h-----'s screams of utter terror slowly become muffled as legendary proportions of post-digested spicy asian buffet cover her face and chest >The s--- continues to flow forth as the floodgates of hell remain open >H----- attempts to protect her already scat-buried face with her hands, which are quickly pushed back by the force of Dave's a--- explosion >Finally, Dave's ass slowly putters and flarps itself to sleep >Dave turns around, bare ass quivering from the after affects of what can only be compared to a nuclear blast in order to assess the damage >The H----- is literally covered from head to toe in s---, with a smell reminiscient of the prison cells in Auschwitz >She's not even moving anymore, she just lays still, put into shock by the force of Dave's s--- >Dave turns to us with a serious expression on his face, bare ass still exposed to the breeze >"Holy f--- I've killed her" >The pavement around the hookers head is also drenched in s---, giving the appearence of a grotesque brown halo >Dave quickly pulls his pants back up, and we all sprint away from the alley >Still don't know what happened to that h-----, or if she even survived

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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