Anon goes to San Francisco | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: hooka.jpg (86 KB, 620x465) Anonymous (ID: ak8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:29:45 No.576373696 ► Story time /b/ >be me >be sophomore in college >spring break >decide to go to San Francisco with a few of my bros >I had this one buddy, we'll call him Dave >Dave was a f------ wildcard, this dude would do just about anything for a laugh >In San Francisco after an awful red-eye flight. >Go clubbing every night, having the time of our lives >Eventually our trip was coming to a close, and we only had a couple more days left in San Fran >Decide to go clubbing again, for the third night in a row >After a few hours of clubbing we were pretty freaking inebriated >Finally decide to wander back to our hotel for the night >Begin to stumble back to the hotel, having a great f------ time >We are suddenly approached by one a San Fran's finest, a frighteningly emaciated meth addict h-----. >We are not interested in acquiring vanareal diseases from a crack w----, continue to walk >As we were about to walk by, this h----- said something that I'll never be able to forget >"I'll bet each of you boys ten dollars that you can't s--- on my face" >Dave immediately takes her up on the offer, me and the rest of my friends are too drunk to care >H----- takes us all down to an alley, then proceeds to lay down with her face upwards >> Anonymous (ID: aK8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:30:33 No.576373816► >>576374049 >cont. >"Okay try to s--- on my face" >Dave goes first. >Dave pulls his pants down and exposes his bare ass >Just as he's about to pinch a log off onto this meth addict w----'s forehead, she blows on his a------ >A------ immediately shrivels up like a dehydrated raisin, Dave literally can not s--- on her face >My turn next >I stand over her face, knowing that my ten dollars is at stake >I squeeze my bowels like I've never squeezed them before, and I begin to feel a massive s--- log stirring within me >I had gained confidence, this was my shining moment >Just as I felt the tip of my s--- touching the ring on my a------, a great wind swept up from the prostitute's mouth and instantly closed the gates of my sphincter >Just as Dave had failed before me, I was unnsuccessful in my quest >H----- proceeds to do the same to each of my friends, not a single one of us can s--- on her face >H----- collects sixty bucks, and we finish our journey back to the hotel defeated >All of my friends and I quickly forget the experience, except for Dave >Dave becomes legitimately angy that he wasn't able to s--- on the h-----'s face >Keeps talking about how much he wants his money back >whatever.gif >Next day >Our plane leaves the next morning, so this night was our last in San Francisco >We decide to go around and eat dinner at the cheapest restaurant we can find (after losing our money to the h-----, we decided not to spend much) >Find this nasty "chinese" buffet >Eat a fuckton of food, tons of really spicy stuff >> Anonymous (ID: aK8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:32:03 No.576374040 ► >cont. >Decide to go back to the hotel to chill and start packing >We get back to the Hotel, and a look of pure malice crosses Dave's face >"We're going to get our money back" >Apparently the chinese buffet was beginning to have a serious affect on Dave >Dave runs out of the hotel to go find the h----- from the night before >Friends and I have no choice but to follow >Dave doubles over in stomach pain, still running with the feriocity and determination of a tigress hunting her prey >Dave begins to groan and fart loadly, running even faster than before >Finally arrive at the alley where we met the h----- before >Sure enough, the same meth head prostitute is stading at the same corner >Dave groans through clenched teeth "We want to try and s--- on your face again, double or nothing" >H----- agrees >Takes us back to the same place as before, and lays in the same position >Dave stands over her face as I remain transfixed with anticipation >> Anonymous (ID: aK8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:33:13 No.576374230 ► >cont. >Before the h----- even had time to purse her lips in preparation of closing Dave's sphincter, he began to release an unholy a--- terror the likes of which no man should ever witness >Dave lets out a defeaning warcry as legions of liquid s--- spew forth from between his fiercly vibrating asscheeks >The h-----'s screams of utter terror slowly become muffled as legendary proportions of post-digested spicy asian buffet cover her face and chest >The s--- continues to flow forth as the floodgates of hell remain open >H----- attempts to protect her already scat-buried face with her hands, which are quickly pushed back by the force of Dave's a--- explosion >Finally, Dave's ass slowly putters and flarps itself to sleep >Dave turns around, bare ass quivering from the after affects of what can only be compared to a nuclear blast in order to assess the damage >The H----- is literally covered from head to toe in s---, with a smell reminiscient of the prison cells in Auschwitz >She's not even moving anymore, she just lays still, put into shock by the force of Dave's s--- >Dave turns to us with a serious expression on his face, bare ass still exposed to the breeze >"Holy f--- I've killed her" >The pavement around the hookers head is also drenched in s---, giving the appearence of a grotesque brown halo >Dave quickly pulls his pants back up, and we all sprint away from the alley >Still don't know what happened to that h-----, or if she even survived

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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