Anon finds god | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Why do i have such a loving family?, why has god gifted me only enough so i couldn't have the balls. to just gulp some cyanide : God >>71934234 (OP) # So that you learn to be grateful for your family and appreciate all of the love you were given, for that you may reciprocate that love unto the entire cosmos. >>71934297 # 01/23/23 (Mon)02:35:17 No.71934249 >>71934318 # : Anonymous >>71934249 # U bitch why wont you just give me a goth gf : God 01/23/23(Mon)02:43:34 No.71934297 01/23/23 (Mon)02:46:08 No.71934318 >>71934297 # because I want you to marry a good wholesome lady of the Church

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is a catalyst for someone's origin story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)14:36:44 No.179608433 IS THIS THE END? itte.jpg 18 KB JPG >say n----- five million billion times to my ex gf in text nonstop for 5 straight years >used to call the car "the n----- chamber" the only place where you can say n-----, and start saying n----- constantly (to make up for lost time) as soon as we got in the car >see on fb she's now a liberal and calling people out for racism thought crimes >>179608490 # >>179608530 # >>179608544 # >>179608602 # >>179608710 # >>179609243 # >>179609254 # >>179609719 #

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Anon's a fiction writer | /r/Greentext

>Be me, just turned 18, dont want to go with family on vacation but its been planned for awhile, disneyland and all the surrounding crap >have paper still to finish for school so one morning everyone goes off and i take the morning to finish it >on my laptop in cafe downstairs and this woman just comes up and sits by me and asks if im writing a book, being cute >shes super nice and i think she works there at first, she's dressed how i would envision an executive woman to dress >she explains she's there with her company for a conference (not going to doxx but a bio-tech company) >she was super flirty, makes joke about wanting to see my id, and asked if i felt like vaping some weed with her in her room and of course i f------ did >she jokes in elevator that "people probably think im your mom" >get to her room, we smoke, she turns it to 11 suddenly and essentially jumps on me, frantically undressing me and herself and f---- my brains out >we chat, she tells me about some drama with her family and son who was my age which feels surreal and hot >we f--- again, i'm even able to catch glimpses of myself in the mirror with this woman lightyears out of my league bent over the bed and i feel amazing >then i go back to working on my paper, never see her again, this was all before 11am >look her up afterwards like a pervert but never contact her and no intention of f------ with her life

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Anon has a sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 43 KB JPG 01/23/23(Mon)07:28:41 No.71933283 >sister dumped her bf of 6 years 2 years ago because she was wanted to date her coworker >turns out she had been cheating on her bf for months >a few months later the guy dumped her and now she's 28 and going into her 30s alone and bitter >her looks have completely faded and she's bitchy all the time >had a long term relationship with a guy who would spoil her by taking her out on trips and paying for everything >she threw it all away to cheat with some other f----- just because he was more attractive >now she's old and no one other than ugly simps want her >has turned into a complete bitch and everyone around the house hates her Women are truly something else

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Anon needs help with his roommate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: NABivc0z) 05/07/20(Thu)16:51:36 No.256576962 file.png 1.6 MB PNG Help how do I stop my jewish room mate from doing this?

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Anon loves krautrock | /r/Greentext

File: 1300044776986.jpg (35 KB, 600x600) Anonymous 01/20/23(Fri)20:40:17 No.114629675 >Find obscure krautrock album >God level progressive electronic space ambient guitar jam that transcends all music >Remaining 30 mins is an old German guy hooting like a monkey with tribal bongos in the background >Every f------ time >>114629777 >>114629830 >>114630074 Anonymous 01/20/23(Fri)20:46:33 No.114629777 >>114629675 (OP) and the tribal hooting is better than the pretentious prog-infected guitar wanking Anonymous 01/20/23(Fri)20:49:51 No.114629830 File: E2B1E2BD-B607-4E03-AE47-C().jpg (278 KB, 828x493) 114600675. (ODY

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What do they do | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/21/23(Sat) 18:07:22 No. 179553897 >>179553962 >>179554060 >>179554063 >>179554096 >>179554109 >>179554176 >>179554224 >>179554238 >>179554289 >>179554292 >>179554300 >>179554302 >>179554355 >>179554400 >>179554408 >>179554414 >>179554450 >>179554480 >>179554561 >>179554576 >>179554749 >>179554761 >>179554805 >>179554878 >>179554947 >>179554970 >>179555071 >>179555076 >>179555171 >>179555237 >>179555350 >>179555405 >>179555636 >>179555871 >>179555964>>179556027 >>179556076 >>179556077 >>179556080 >>179556105 >>179556182 >>179556206 >>179556256 >>179556456 >>179556519 >>179556573 >>179556652 >>179556751 >>179556794 >>179556829 >>179556854 >>179556889 >>179556895 >>179556932 >>179556980 >>179557031 >>179557058 >>179557063 >>179557126 >>179557183 >>179557293 >>179557479 >>179557504 >>179557579 >>179557670 >>179558107 >>179558259 >>179558774 >>179558789 >>179558969 >>179558976 >>179559022 >>179559217 >>179559376 >>179559468 >>179559500 >>179559501 >>179559552 >>179559652 >>179559674 >>179559731 >>179559845 >>179560379 >>179560523 >>179560745 >>179561053 >>179561120 >>179561127 >>179561204 >>179561265 >>179561312 >>179561327 >>179561692 >>179561737 >>179561817 >>179561830 >>179561939 >>179562043 >>179562119 >>179562240 >>179562389 >>179562458 >>179562473 >>179562517 >>179562575 >>179562622 >>179562863 >>179562925 >>179563054 >>179563077 >>179563133 >>179563193 >>179563243 >>179563280 >>179563281 >>179563409 >>179563534 >>179563537 >>179563590 >>179563756 >>179563824 >>179563958 >>179564048 >>179564059 >>179564153 >>179564267 >>179564370 >>179564472 >>179564480 >>179564507 >>179564514 >>179564607 1652882180321.jpg (82 KB, 1080x1080) google yandex iqdb wait >be me >work at corporate job >it's progressive so we have unisex bathroom >have IBS so I take frequent bathroom breaks >always get self conscious about the noises I make and try to be quick and quiet and make sure no one is in there when I go Janre >one day I see a qt female coworker go into a stall after I'm about to leave Schol >she's grunting and farting up a storm in the stall >think she has IBS too so I take my time washing my hands so I can start up some small talk when she gets out >she comes out of the stall to wash her hands and I say to her "you too, huh?" >she looks confused so I explain about how I have IBS >she didn't say much and leaves quickly >a week later HR calls me in to yell at me because I "harassed a female employee and made her uncomfortable" man I f------ hate women so much bros

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anon is surrounded by normies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 268 KB JPG anymore. 01/23/23 (Mon)02:32:02 No.893093213 Today I was talking to my parents and they were talking about my normie sibling who has a normie spouse and they have a normie family with normie kids and they are busy pursuing their normie lives while I'm just sitting here figuring out what type of p--- do I watch next because t----- p--- ain't doing it I have a good job, pay rent on time, I do all the basic things a technically functional adult should do, but I don't see any way I could be progressing in life. I've tried various things, but nothing works. Career: nope, I am lazy as f---, just making sure I'm not fired. Some hobby: I sometimes do something productive once in a while, but I don't really feel passionate about anything. Hedonism: gets boring. Family: I'm a f----- so making kids would be very difficult even if someone wanted to marry me because currently I'm lonely as f---. I just don't have a direction in life.

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anon is gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 12/08/21 (Wed)08:48:26 No.868192347 >Be me >never able to get aroused by p--- >not aroused by women either, but still want to date them >able to c-- by stimulating my d--- >worry that I'm gay, asexual, or worse, trans >end up with gf in senior year of highschool >worry that I'm going to need viagra to f--- her >laying with her in park >suddenly d--- turns rock hard >start cuddling her and making out >go back to my house >f--- her >she c--- >I c-- >nut so hard that I see colors and shapes >body feels like it's dissolving into tingles >learn I'm only attracted to women I know and trust >this is kind of bad because you can never trust a hoe >make it work >now 27 >have gf >tell her about this >"Oh, so you're demisexual" >find out there's a whole sexual identity for this >they're overthinking it >I just chalk it up to not being addicted to p---

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Anons discuss the Letters of Last Resort. | /r/Greentext

What does /k/ think/know about the bong's letter of last resort? >http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letters_of_last_resort >The letters of last resort are four identically-worded handwritten letters written by the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom to the commanding officers of the four British ballistic missile submarines. They contain orders on what action to take in the event that an enemy nuclear strike has destroyed the British government >The letters are stored inside two safes in the control room of each submarine. The letters are destroyed unopened after a Prime Minister leaves office, so what action would have been taken is only ever known to the outgoing Prime Minister Kinda hilarious and also terrifying... Dear C----, By now you must be aware we're right snoggered, right snoggered indeed. T--- up, as it were. Assuming that the sun has finally set on jolly old England, I hereby bequeath this last directive to you, brave sailors of Her Majesty the Queen's Navy; You are thusly ordered to launch nuclear strikes upon the nation of Israel, to the effect of their utter demise. We had always harbored doubts about the unsavory gentlemen who had been faffing about M15 clasping their hands, and it seems the huns were right about them after all. Rather daft, looking back on it all, but we gave them what for, didn't we boys? Rule Britannia, and may God have mercy on us all. Your faithful servant, P.M. David Cameron (P.S. Do try to drop one on the krauts, for old time's sake)

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Anon is just like Andrew Tate | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: depressed wojack.jpg (44 KB, 600x600) depressed wife Anonymous 01/21/23 (Sat) 20:38:50 No.28170459 >>28170482 >>28170502 >>28171739 >>28171756 >>28171998 >>28172032 >>28174837 >>28175804>>28176270 >>28176292 >>28176324 52/1/26/2 >be me > be 24-year-old moroccan CS graduate with s----- programming job in Boston which pays well enough I guess > As you'd expect from a CS student, I've naturally been a khv with negative rizz > so I decided to get an arranged marriage with some girl (21) from my parent's country because I wasn't gonna get anything here > So around 6 months I got an arranged marriage with a cute girl chosen by my parents in our home country and brought her back to the US >At first, everything was going great. I was excited to have a beautiful wife and start a new life together. >But things took a turn for the worse when she moved here >She became extremely depressed and keeps telling me she feels alone and missed her friends and family from back home. >She begs me to stay with her all day and starts crying whenever I leave her alone. >Even when I'm at work she keeps calling or messaging me to come back home as she is feeling very anxious and scared by staying alone in my apartment. >I don't know what to do anymore. >I love her and want to help her but it's getting exhausting. >I feel guilty for leaving her alone but I also need to work to support us. I don't know if I should just suck it up and deal with it or if there's something else I can do to help her. me because f my relatively > I'm certain she wasn't forced to get married as she everyone and her family seemed enthusiastic abo I get married high salary (I make about 90k$ before taxes) and I'm not fat or short (I work out 5 days a week at my company's gym) >I have never treated her badly, yelled at her or forced her to do anything. > Tried telling her maybe she should go visit a therapist but she refuses telling me the outside scares her and hasn't left our apartment in months >Any advice? Posted this same question on reddit and they started calling me a human trafficker for some reason and downvoting my post so I'm asking in this s------- to get some perspective on my situation. Anonymous 01/21/23(Sat) 20:42:36 No.28170482 >>28170459 (OP) dima maghreb khawaaaa

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Anon wants to be a weeb | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 802 KB WEBM 01/22/23(Sun)08:59:44 No.28175353 >see the zoomer explosion of 2017-2019 >all of these weeb, alt, etc people coming forward >all them doing s--- socially that I missed out on growing up >think that I'll be in good company if I just approach them and make some friends >just end up being too socially retarded to carry a conversation and too anxious to attend any meet-up >now just sit on my ass at 26 whacking it to tattooed 20 year olds on tiktok How do I cope with this? Pic related was all I wanted. 22 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Anon watched Despicable Me | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How did this slip by unnoticed 164 KB JPG 01/22/23(Sun)13:30:59 No.71927896 >Entire family is rich supervillains >Long pointy nose Seriously what the f--- did Illumination mean by this?

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