anon is gay | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 12/08/21 (Wed)08:48:26 No.868192347 >Be me >never able to get aroused by p--- >not aroused by women either, but still want to date them >able to c-- by stimulating my d--- >worry that I'm gay, asexual, or worse, trans >end up with gf in senior year of highschool >worry that I'm going to need viagra to f--- her >laying with her in park >suddenly d--- turns rock hard >start cuddling her and making out >go back to my house >f--- her >she c--- >I c-- >nut so hard that I see colors and shapes >body feels like it's dissolving into tingles >learn I'm only attracted to women I know and trust >this is kind of bad because you can never trust a hoe >make it work >now 27 >have gf >tell her about this >"Oh, so you're demisexual" >find out there's a whole sexual identity for this >they're overthinking it >I just chalk it up to not being addicted to p---

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anons discuss the Letters of Last Resort. | /r/Greentext

What does /k/ think/know about the bong's letter of last resort? >http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letters_of_last_resort >The letters of last resort are four identically-worded handwritten letters written by the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom to the commanding officers of the four British ballistic missile submarines. They contain orders on what action to take in the event that an enemy nuclear strike has destroyed the British government >The letters are stored inside two safes in the control room of each submarine. The letters are destroyed unopened after a Prime Minister leaves office, so what action would have been taken is only ever known to the outgoing Prime Minister Kinda hilarious and also terrifying... Dear C----, By now you must be aware we're right snoggered, right snoggered indeed. T--- up, as it were. Assuming that the sun has finally set on jolly old England, I hereby bequeath this last directive to you, brave sailors of Her Majesty the Queen's Navy; You are thusly ordered to launch nuclear strikes upon the nation of Israel, to the effect of their utter demise. We had always harbored doubts about the unsavory gentlemen who had been faffing about M15 clasping their hands, and it seems the huns were right about them after all. Rather daft, looking back on it all, but we gave them what for, didn't we boys? Rule Britannia, and may God have mercy on us all. Your faithful servant, P.M. David Cameron (P.S. Do try to drop one on the krauts, for old time's sake)

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Anon is just like Andrew Tate | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: depressed wojack.jpg (44 KB, 600x600) depressed wife Anonymous 01/21/23 (Sat) 20:38:50 No.28170459 >>28170482 >>28170502 >>28171739 >>28171756 >>28171998 >>28172032 >>28174837 >>28175804>>28176270 >>28176292 >>28176324 52/1/26/2 >be me > be 24-year-old moroccan CS graduate with s----- programming job in Boston which pays well enough I guess > As you'd expect from a CS student, I've naturally been a khv with negative rizz > so I decided to get an arranged marriage with some girl (21) from my parent's country because I wasn't gonna get anything here > So around 6 months I got an arranged marriage with a cute girl chosen by my parents in our home country and brought her back to the US >At first, everything was going great. I was excited to have a beautiful wife and start a new life together. >But things took a turn for the worse when she moved here >She became extremely depressed and keeps telling me she feels alone and missed her friends and family from back home. >She begs me to stay with her all day and starts crying whenever I leave her alone. >Even when I'm at work she keeps calling or messaging me to come back home as she is feeling very anxious and scared by staying alone in my apartment. >I don't know what to do anymore. >I love her and want to help her but it's getting exhausting. >I feel guilty for leaving her alone but I also need to work to support us. I don't know if I should just suck it up and deal with it or if there's something else I can do to help her. me because f my relatively > I'm certain she wasn't forced to get married as she everyone and her family seemed enthusiastic abo I get married high salary (I make about 90k$ before taxes) and I'm not fat or short (I work out 5 days a week at my company's gym) >I have never treated her badly, yelled at her or forced her to do anything. > Tried telling her maybe she should go visit a therapist but she refuses telling me the outside scares her and hasn't left our apartment in months >Any advice? Posted this same question on reddit and they started calling me a human trafficker for some reason and downvoting my post so I'm asking in this s------- to get some perspective on my situation. Anonymous 01/21/23(Sat) 20:42:36 No.28170482 >>28170459 (OP) dima maghreb khawaaaa

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Anon wants to be a weeb | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 802 KB WEBM 01/22/23(Sun)08:59:44 No.28175353 >see the zoomer explosion of 2017-2019 >all of these weeb, alt, etc people coming forward >all them doing s--- socially that I missed out on growing up >think that I'll be in good company if I just approach them and make some friends >just end up being too socially retarded to carry a conversation and too anxious to attend any meet-up >now just sit on my ass at 26 whacking it to tattooed 20 year olds on tiktok How do I cope with this? Pic related was all I wanted. 22 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Anon watched Despicable Me | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How did this slip by unnoticed 164 KB JPG 01/22/23(Sun)13:30:59 No.71927896 >Entire family is rich supervillains >Long pointy nose Seriously what the f--- did Illumination mean by this?

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Could stay there forever | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/19(Wed)00:13:27 E 38 KB JPG 1 Reply No.52087291 >kitty sleeping on my legs >cat is having a nightmare >say "i love you kitty" >cat stops jerking around, starts purring i love you cat View Thread

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Anon has a pet rock. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous TM XOXOS 01/23/23(Mon)03:16:49 No.71926416 IMG_5087.jpg 2.13 MB JPG >be me, browsing /r9k/ >see a post about how to attract girls >decide to chime in with my own advice >"just get a pet rock, girls love that s---" >immediately regret posting it mods delete my post and ban me for being a troll >back to talking to my pet rock

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Anon's lineage is secure | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 5 KB JPG without effort >become a monk and follow my life goals I've made it bros, I've won the game. Humans can all die and rot in hell for all I care about. 01/22/23(Sun)12:35:29 No.71925237 >pass seed donor screening >never have to interact with w*men in my life ever again except to make fun of their lack of intellect and ideologies in public >still get to have children I've overcome my nature and I stand alone at the top of the mountain. It was worth it to endure until the end. To my fallen brothers I give a little prayer and hope they'll find salvation in accepting that at least one like them made it till the very end fighting for the cause. Amen. : Anonymous >>71925237 (OP) # >he doesn't know 01/22/23(Sun)12:39:29 No.71925277 >>71925310 # Good job planting emotional time bombs waiting to track you down decades later.

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Anon senses an opportunity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 985 KB JPG 03/31/21 (Wed)08:19:24 No.62989509 OFF'ing myself right now. Goodbye 4chan. >broke uni student >mother is meth head >dad is p--- >snooped through my younger sisters internet history and found t----- p--- >gf left me just 1 week ago >been drinking nonstop >grades are collapsing Thank you all for the amazing memories, I've treasured them. And thank you for always being my favorite board. 23 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/31/21 (Wed)10:44:21 No.62990863 Bro I feel you... Could you maybe help a bro out and buy me gta3 on steam? I know you won't be needing that money after you die right?

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Anon discovers lyrics don't matter | /r/Greentext

File: Police.jpg (105 KB, 791x800) Anonymous 01/20/23(Fri)21:16:49 No.114630303 Roxanne >I want to control your life Every Breath You Take >I am stalking you Don't Stand So Close to Me >I want to f--- kids W-- was wrong with these n-----? Did boomers really? >> Anonymous 01/20/23(Fri)21:18:33 No.1146303- Lyrics don't matter when it comes to pop hits Anonymous 01/20/23(Fri)21:18:56 No.1146303

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Anon will soon be getting TOPPED | /r/Greentext

AY I hate women Anonymous 01/22/23(Sun)01:54:25 No.893046421 ► >>893046497 >Idk anymore man. Every single time you talk to a girl she does one of the 2 npc behaviours. >When you ask her for her hobbies she either says "Well i dont have any" or when you ask her something she will answer but will never ask you a question back. >But why???. >How hard is it to act like a human being???. >Even those 400lb frog posters from 4chan are more interesting than that. >I wish i was gay bros so much you dont even know> Anonymous 01/22/23(Sun)01:55:51 No.893046497 >>893046421 (OP) kys >>

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A group of religious scholars | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 53 minutes ago thealmighty.png (133.7 KB, 721x828) 2 REPLIES 71922263 >loses the battle against evil constantly Anonymous 50 minutes ago popejak.jpg (285 KB, 1500x1641) 71922273 >you WILL worship the virgin Mary (pbuh) >you WILL believe the word of some crusty old f----- over scripture >you WILL pay us to shorten your time in purgatory >you will NOT try to read the bible yourself >you will NOT get into heaven by faith alone >and YOU. WILL. BE. MOLESTED. Anonymous 43 minutes ago Yo Christian dudes, why do you eat bacon? Jesus said to follow the Torah. 1 REPLY 71922313 Anonymous 42 minutes ago >>71922313 Jesus said what matters is what comes out of your mouth, not in or something. 1 REPLY 71922323 Anonymous 40 minutes ago >>71922263 (OP) Imagine still taking fairy tales seriously enough to even shitpost about them. 71922340 Anonymous 39 minutes ago >>71922323 And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, "The pig is also unclean; although it has a divided hoof, it does not chew the cud. You are not to eat their meat or touch their carcasses." 71922344 Anonymous 28 minutes ago >>71922263 (OP) >could snap his finger and make all of the evil in the universe go away >prefers to watch and mald about it from his cuck realm (heaven) instead >sends own son who is also a manifestation of him in human form to earth to create an even bigger cult of cucks, only to get killed by the original cucks who worshiped him 71922407

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Anon hates penguinz0 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)21:47:39 No.71869130 maxresdefault (1).jpg 55 KB JPG >Hey guys, Charlie here >heres me explaining every minute detail of a 30 second clip on Twitter over the course of 10 minutes >here's the most milquetoast YouTuber or corporate drama you've ever heard >reviews thing people like: "it's good" >reviews thing people don't like: "it's bad" >all of this is funny because I use the words penis butt and fart in every sentence

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