anon's life gets fulfilled | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)21:27:20 No.893136781 952 KB WEBM I just took the best s--- ever. It took me 45 minutes, it had everything from diamond hard logs to pure liquid. The bathroom stunk so bad afterwards I had to open the window to let it air out, I light a match to help with the sulfur and of course sprayed air freshener. Took three flushes and a half roll of toilet paper. At the end of it, just one long fart, about 15 seconds of liquid. Then my bladder was finally empty. Im fairly certain I lost at least 5 pounds. : Anonymous >>893136781 (OP) # Have you tasted the poop? 01/23/23(Mon)21:32:39 No.893136976

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon goes to San Francisco | /r/Greentext

File: hooka.jpg (86 KB, 620x465) Anonymous (ID: ak8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:29:45 No.576373696 ► Story time /b/ >be me >be sophomore in college >spring break >decide to go to San Francisco with a few of my bros >I had this one buddy, we'll call him Dave >Dave was a f------ wildcard, this dude would do just about anything for a laugh >In San Francisco after an awful red-eye flight. >Go clubbing every night, having the time of our lives >Eventually our trip was coming to a close, and we only had a couple more days left in San Fran >Decide to go clubbing again, for the third night in a row >After a few hours of clubbing we were pretty freaking inebriated >Finally decide to wander back to our hotel for the night >Begin to stumble back to the hotel, having a great f------ time >We are suddenly approached by one a San Fran's finest, a frighteningly emaciated meth addict h-----. >We are not interested in acquiring vanareal diseases from a crack w----, continue to walk >As we were about to walk by, this h----- said something that I'll never be able to forget >"I'll bet each of you boys ten dollars that you can't s--- on my face" >Dave immediately takes her up on the offer, me and the rest of my friends are too drunk to care >H----- takes us all down to an alley, then proceeds to lay down with her face upwards >> Anonymous (ID: aK8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:30:33 No.576373816► >>576374049 >cont. >"Okay try to s--- on my face" >Dave goes first. >Dave pulls his pants down and exposes his bare ass >Just as he's about to pinch a log off onto this meth addict w----'s forehead, she blows on his a------ >A------ immediately shrivels up like a dehydrated raisin, Dave literally can not s--- on her face >My turn next >I stand over her face, knowing that my ten dollars is at stake >I squeeze my bowels like I've never squeezed them before, and I begin to feel a massive s--- log stirring within me >I had gained confidence, this was my shining moment >Just as I felt the tip of my s--- touching the ring on my a------, a great wind swept up from the prostitute's mouth and instantly closed the gates of my sphincter >Just as Dave had failed before me, I was unnsuccessful in my quest >H----- proceeds to do the same to each of my friends, not a single one of us can s--- on her face >H----- collects sixty bucks, and we finish our journey back to the hotel defeated >All of my friends and I quickly forget the experience, except for Dave >Dave becomes legitimately angy that he wasn't able to s--- on the h-----'s face >Keeps talking about how much he wants his money back >whatever.gif >Next day >Our plane leaves the next morning, so this night was our last in San Francisco >We decide to go around and eat dinner at the cheapest restaurant we can find (after losing our money to the h-----, we decided not to spend much) >Find this nasty "chinese" buffet >Eat a fuckton of food, tons of really spicy stuff >> Anonymous (ID: aK8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:32:03 No.576374040 ► >cont. >Decide to go back to the hotel to chill and start packing >We get back to the Hotel, and a look of pure malice crosses Dave's face >"We're going to get our money back" >Apparently the chinese buffet was beginning to have a serious affect on Dave >Dave runs out of the hotel to go find the h----- from the night before >Friends and I have no choice but to follow >Dave doubles over in stomach pain, still running with the feriocity and determination of a tigress hunting her prey >Dave begins to groan and fart loadly, running even faster than before >Finally arrive at the alley where we met the h----- before >Sure enough, the same meth head prostitute is stading at the same corner >Dave groans through clenched teeth "We want to try and s--- on your face again, double or nothing" >H----- agrees >Takes us back to the same place as before, and lays in the same position >Dave stands over her face as I remain transfixed with anticipation >> Anonymous (ID: aK8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23:33:13 No.576374230 ► >cont. >Before the h----- even had time to purse her lips in preparation of closing Dave's sphincter, he began to release an unholy a--- terror the likes of which no man should ever witness >Dave lets out a defeaning warcry as legions of liquid s--- spew forth from between his fiercly vibrating asscheeks >The h-----'s screams of utter terror slowly become muffled as legendary proportions of post-digested spicy asian buffet cover her face and chest >The s--- continues to flow forth as the floodgates of hell remain open >H----- attempts to protect her already scat-buried face with her hands, which are quickly pushed back by the force of Dave's a--- explosion >Finally, Dave's ass slowly putters and flarps itself to sleep >Dave turns around, bare ass quivering from the after affects of what can only be compared to a nuclear blast in order to assess the damage >The H----- is literally covered from head to toe in s---, with a smell reminiscient of the prison cells in Auschwitz >She's not even moving anymore, she just lays still, put into shock by the force of Dave's s--- >Dave turns to us with a serious expression on his face, bare ass still exposed to the breeze >"Holy f--- I've killed her" >The pavement around the hookers head is also drenched in s---, giving the appearence of a grotesque brown halo >Dave quickly pulls his pants back up, and we all sprint away from the alley >Still don't know what happened to that h-----, or if she even survived

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casual cyberbullying | /r/Greentext

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Anon is a white knight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 13 KB JPG 11/09/15(Mon)01:03:09 No.24130722 >>24128552 (OP) >be me in middle school >see two chads bullying girl, making fun of a scar she has or something i can't remember >come up and say "hey guys leave her alone" >she turns and says "oh god" and rolls her eyes >all three of them laugh at me

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Anon is retarded and stupid | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: fattapu.jpg (78 KB, 529x600) 8360 [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] Anonymous 01/23/23 (Mon)15:26:26 No.71936331 >be me >22yo unifag >meet with cute girl in a cafe to work on an application together >cafe is closing >we arent even close to being done >she suggest we can continue at hear place >sounds good >its getting late and we are slowing down with our progress because we keep wandering off topic >"Anon, you think we could concentrate better if we would drink some wine" >"No, definitly not, then we wouldnt get anything done at all" >"Oh. Yeah. Sorry. You are right" >continue working on the application Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)15:27:40 No.71936337 *her place jesus f------ christ, im retarded but not stupid, i swear [Post a Reply]

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anon is an asshole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)14:48:38 No.893125698 232 KB PNG did i take this too far >be me >summer of 2022 >sleep schedule is backwards, wake up at 1 am and go to sleep at 3 pm >spend most of my nights playing Pavlov >surfing servers, find a PvE Zombie gamemode server with two guys in it on the McDonalds map >cool, I like that gamemode and i like that map >join in and spawn in next round >they instantly kill me >get p-----, wait until the next round so I can kill one of them >do manage to kill one, but fail to the round after >few minutes pass and they figure out how to kick me >p----- >notice the guy's name and steam pfp looks like he probably has an art account >doesn't, but he has a soundcloud where he posts pretty decent remixes of video game songs >make a few alt accounts and call the songs garbage >after about 3 more songs he stops posting >hasn't posted since

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[redtext] Skill issue | /r/Greentext

Anonymous уруу 56 KB JPG 44 Replies / 2 Images Anonymous >>71934615 # Anonymous 01/23/23 (Mon)06:14:45 No.71933187 What's keeping you from suicide? View Thread 01/23/23 (Mon)09:38:01 No.71934606 01/23/23 (Mon)09:39:45 No.71934615 01/23/23 (Mon)09:40:37 No.71934623 Anonymous >>71933187 (OP) # That knot looks too hard

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Anon checks the early life section on wikipedia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Phlei2VL) 8 7 6 But anyway, the truth is striking. Here's 3-month "supercore" excluding food energy shelter and used cars: 3/ 2 & 3 5 4 OHNW 2 Paul Krugman @paulkrugman Jan-21 Mar-21 May-21 01/22/23(Sun)11:07:21 No.413176033 3 month annualized supercore Jul-21 Sep-21 1:03 PM Jan 21, 2023 722.7K Views Nov-21 Jan-22 file.png 118 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: skOLK5xa) Mar-22 May-22 Jul-22 Sep-22 Nov-22 Uhm actually inflation is near zero you f------ CHUDS 01/22/23(Sun)11:08:37 No.413176168 >>413176033 (OP) # >Krugman was born to a Ukrainian Jewish family,[20] [21] the son of Anita and David Krugman. In 1914, his maternal grandparents immigrated to the United States from Ukraine,[22] >>413176938 # >>413176972 # >>413177439 # >>413183122 # >>413186398 #

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Anon finds god | /r/Greentext

Why do i have such a loving family?, why has god gifted me only enough so i couldn't have the balls. to just gulp some cyanide : God >>71934234 (OP) # So that you learn to be grateful for your family and appreciate all of the love you were given, for that you may reciprocate that love unto the entire cosmos. >>71934297 # 01/23/23 (Mon)02:35:17 No.71934249 >>71934318 # : Anonymous >>71934249 # U bitch why wont you just give me a goth gf : God 01/23/23(Mon)02:43:34 No.71934297 01/23/23 (Mon)02:46:08 No.71934318 >>71934297 # because I want you to marry a good wholesome lady of the Church

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Anon is a catalyst for someone's origin story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)14:36:44 No.179608433 IS THIS THE END? itte.jpg 18 KB JPG >say n----- five million billion times to my ex gf in text nonstop for 5 straight years >used to call the car "the n----- chamber" the only place where you can say n-----, and start saying n----- constantly (to make up for lost time) as soon as we got in the car >see on fb she's now a liberal and calling people out for racism thought crimes >>179608490 # >>179608530 # >>179608544 # >>179608602 # >>179608710 # >>179609243 # >>179609254 # >>179609719 #

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Anon's a fiction writer | /r/Greentext

>Be me, just turned 18, dont want to go with family on vacation but its been planned for awhile, disneyland and all the surrounding crap >have paper still to finish for school so one morning everyone goes off and i take the morning to finish it >on my laptop in cafe downstairs and this woman just comes up and sits by me and asks if im writing a book, being cute >shes super nice and i think she works there at first, she's dressed how i would envision an executive woman to dress >she explains she's there with her company for a conference (not going to doxx but a bio-tech company) >she was super flirty, makes joke about wanting to see my id, and asked if i felt like vaping some weed with her in her room and of course i f------ did >she jokes in elevator that "people probably think im your mom" >get to her room, we smoke, she turns it to 11 suddenly and essentially jumps on me, frantically undressing me and herself and f---- my brains out >we chat, she tells me about some drama with her family and son who was my age which feels surreal and hot >we f--- again, i'm even able to catch glimpses of myself in the mirror with this woman lightyears out of my league bent over the bed and i feel amazing >then i go back to working on my paper, never see her again, this was all before 11am >look her up afterwards like a pervert but never contact her and no intention of f------ with her life

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Anon has a sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 43 KB JPG 01/23/23(Mon)07:28:41 No.71933283 >sister dumped her bf of 6 years 2 years ago because she was wanted to date her coworker >turns out she had been cheating on her bf for months >a few months later the guy dumped her and now she's 28 and going into her 30s alone and bitter >her looks have completely faded and she's bitchy all the time >had a long term relationship with a guy who would spoil her by taking her out on trips and paying for everything >she threw it all away to cheat with some other f----- just because he was more attractive >now she's old and no one other than ugly simps want her >has turned into a complete bitch and everyone around the house hates her Women are truly something else

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Anon needs help with his roommate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: NABivc0z) 05/07/20(Thu)16:51:36 No.256576962 file.png 1.6 MB PNG Help how do I stop my jewish room mate from doing this?

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