Mfw no free updoots | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous Cakeday 43 KB JPG 08/03/18(Fri)22:26:50 No.47269649 >Be me, wake up early for work. >Checks phone* -reddit cakeday >excute hype.exe >Spend minutes on half quality shitposts >mfw no free upvotes

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon discovers a loophole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 15 KB JPG 01/20/23(Fri)15:31:29 No.71902123 >be me, man >identify as a female because gender is a social construct >j------- >once I'm done, identify as male again >god jerked off by a gril >mfw got a h------ See you later virgins

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Anon cuts the cheese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 23 KB JPG 01/20/23(Fri)15:15:10 No.71901945 >Be me, school f-- >Active shooter alarm goes off. Oh s--- its finally happening. >The class start locking doors, turning off lights, etc... >We huddle in a corner in the dark.Some kids are crying >We listen in silence as someone down the hall is trying to jimmy open a door. Sudden urge to fart. >Try to hold it in >We hear gun shots and screams down the hall. Oh God the urge is getting worse. >Shooter tries to open our locked door and peeks inside door window. >Gives up. Turns to try another doo I let loose a massive wet fart. >Sounds like an engine backfiring. >Shooter realizes we're inside. >Breaks down door and kills us all. Mfw

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Anon orders a burrito like a normal human being | /r/Greentext

01/19/23(Thu)20:49:28 No.18831162 : Anonymous >Be me, just another day at work >decide to grab lunch at Chipotle >get in line, place my order >cashier starts making my burrito >he drops it on the floor >he starts making a new one >manager comes over and starts yelling at the cashier in front of everyone >I can't take it, I speak up >manager turns to me and starts yelling at me too >I snap, I can't take it anymore >I jump over the counter and start throwing punches >staff and customers scatter >cops arrive and haul me away >spend the night in jail >never going back to Chipotle again >tfw no more burritos for me >-1/10 service

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anon hates game devs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 01/20/23(Fri)11:51:14 No.624958094 >Game's community discovers a glitch >It's actually really fun and/or skillful >It adds mechanical depth that differentiates the game from its peers >It might even become a part of the game's identity >Developers patch it out because MUH ORIGINAL INTENTIONS

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Anon writes a based Harry Potter fanfic. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/16/20(Wed)23:11:57 No.17059503 >>17059546 >>17059609 >>17059665 File: 1587894210677.jpg (103 KB, 733x486) >I consider myself a patient man, Harry. I overlooked that time you kept sneaking trans students polyjuice potion containing their own hair, making them turn back into their normal selves, despite the suicides. >I was even willing to turn a blind eye to you casting memory charms on post op hufflepuffs, because the look on their faces when you showed them a mirror was frankly hilarious, but this fine you've gone too far. >you have to understand that sectumsempra is dangerous magic, Harry, and I can't just let you go round telling Hufflepuffs that it's an instant transition spell if they point it at their crotch. >I hope you understand the gravity of this situation, and see why I'm only awarding you 42 points

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Anon is an NPC.. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 27 KB PNG 09/17/18(Mon)06:17:35 No.48178708 3 Replies / 1 Image >no friends >no real hobbies >no special talents >no gf >meaningless, unfulfilling job I hate >don't believe in anything >observe other people living life, rather than actually experiencing it for myself Am I an NPC? View Thread

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Average Hollywood Celeb | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: toj0wv2z) Mysteriously wealthy Atlanta gay couple who were charged with sodomizing their adopted sons also 'offered them up to local men and sent out videos of them r----- the boys' By Jennifer Smith, Chief Reporter For Dailymail.Com 13:34 20 Jan 2023, updated 14:31 20 Jan 2023 Zulock 2009 01/20/23(Fri)09:18:04 No.412920758 Zuleck DOIS Zulack 2009 98 Replies / 12 Images Zulock 2009 ARRESTED CON COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFI Number: 802054 BEBAEBC1-C650-4A1A-BC63-9CDF250C9B26.jpg 239 KB JPG >rich gay couple adopts boys to r--- and sells them to other rich clients Just how big is the p--- network? View Thread

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Anon cures gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/20/23(Fri)07:45:12 No.892956449 139 KB JPG Shock therapy does not work you dumbasses, there is a better way >hook up with a gay >just as he inserts his gay penis in you, say "no h---" >it's not gay if you say no h--- >suddenly he's having straight sex >you tricked him into becoming straight I've converted 80 such men already

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It's the little things fellas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous O 101 KB PNG 08/02/21 (Mon)21:38:17 No.388 >Moo at a cow >It moos back We are friends

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Anon experienced double standards | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>67585702 OP here. This is the second story 02/26/22(Sat)17:25:33 No.67586101 >be me >on tinder >match with girl >6/10 >eh, free p---- >go over to her place >blood all over the door >ask why there's blood >"let me show you the basement" >go downstairs >there's just a drain in the middle of the room >gtfo as fast as possible i was next bros. reported it to the police and they did nothing

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anon discusses mental health on 4chan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >tfw extremely low self esteem >tfw never want to do anything or interact with people because I'm afraid they will hate me >make comment on youtube >someone replies with something mean >instantly delete comment >uploaded a bunch of videos on youtube a while back but deleted them all >people started sending me messages asking what happened >delete the account >delete all my social media accounts and make news ones >use to draw, stopped drawing for fear that my art was s--- 153 KB PNG >never actually think any of my art is good and too afraid to ask people for their objective opinion >afraid I'm ugly and that people are just too afraid to tell me >never post anything of myself online >constantly extremely depressed and lurk 4chan for any kind of social interaction because if someone says something mean I can just leave the thread >even then I hardly ever post and lurk for years sometimes without ever posting or contributing to a thread 01/19/23(Thu)19:22:10 No.892939280 >even after creating this thread I will just close my browser and listen to music and try not to think about my life 3 Replies Anonymous >>892939280 (OP) # stupid retard >KAWAO 01/19/23(Thu)19:24:25 No.892939382 Anonymous View Thread : Anonymous you should probably just kill yourself 01/19/23(Thu)19:24:41 No.892939393 01/19/23(Thu)19:33:13 No.892939721 Social media is bad for your mental well being. May I suggest finding a sugar mommy to give you money and sex?

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Anon works at a snack bar | /r/Greentext

conguitos CHOCOLATE CACAHUETE 90ge Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)18:32:08 No.49830483 ► >>49830489 >>49830501 >>49830526 >>49830548 >>49832235 ≥ Will there be a Conguitos based Pokémon? >> Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)18:41:05 No.49830578 Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu) 18:42:12 No.49830587 >me working at snack bar in Madrid airport >diplomat-looking African guy comes >>49830690 >he asks in heavily African-accented English "what is the best Spanish snack?" >without even thinking, i give him some Conguitos, which are honestly delicious and my favorite snack >I say "Conguitos very good" >black guys stares at the Conguitos, then at me, then at the Conguitos. >looks honestly at a loss of words for 5 long seconds >pays and leaves with his Conguitos I really think he liked them

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