Anon goes to LAPD headquarters | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous (ID: Lg9gzcrw) Cops browse 4chan WEST LOS A LOS ANGELES POLICE LOS E ANGELES LOS POLICE SANGELES 54 KB JPG 12/28/21 (Tue)08:16:53 No.44891220 > be me, walk into LAPD HQ in downtown LA to get a background check clearance > greeted by guard/ go through security > take elevator/ go downstairs to civilian matters office > office full of cops on their PARTMENT NOISIA S computer desks > sees a cop browsing 4chan. Couldnt tell which board but it was definitely 4chan Lmao. We aren't safe anymore frens. We are literally being watched everywhere.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon tries to impress fairy's father | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/22(Fri)20:36:55 No.887329571 >be me >about 11 years old >I imagine there is a fairy that I cannot see is so in love with me but her father won't allow her to show herself to me because it violates the fairy code >She starts following me with her dad every day to make him see how great of a guy I am and make him like me so he would allow her to show herself 71 KB JPG >Start taking notice of every single thing that I do and I stop doing stuff like watching girls kissing on the internet because her father would see me as a bad guy and I'll never see her >One day I go over to my friends house and he started to talk about girls >I tell him I don't want to because the fairy's father would be mad and she won't show herself to me >Him being curious about this fairy, I explain to him what is happening >His mom overhears us and she calls my mom and tells her that I am talking about some fairy >I go home and my mom starts asking me questions about this fairy >I tell her what's happening >I can see the disappointment in her face >mfw

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Anon comes out as gay | /r/Greentext

My Liberal "Progressive" Parents Turn out to be Raging Homophobes Liberalmogressive rarelifi...) 30 KB JPG 01/16/23(Mon)21:44:11 No.412424603 >2022 >come out as gay >Parents freak out and say since I'm an only child I'm ruining their life since I won't have grandkids for them. >be 16 in 2016 >massive Trump supporter >wear Trump hat to school >Parents tell me I'm being a racist homophobic bigot >Tell me Hillray Clinton is way better for minorities and LGBTQ+ >Be secretly gay >They make my life miserable >Claim it's not because I'm gay but it's obvious since they freaked out at me being gay and have been being mean to me ever since >Go live at Grandmother's house since she is more cool and laid back >Grandmother is massive libtard, has the pride flag and Ukraine flag and everything, just watches CNN all day >I spend the days studying at her place, go out to gay bars at night and bring guys home >Grandmother had an "intervention" with me because she doesn't want me bringing any more men back to the house >Claims she'd be ok if I was in a monogamus relationship but she obviously hates my gayness because one time my Chad cousin brought a beautiful blond girl back and she was so happy and said "look at my handsome grandson with all these pretty girls! You have a different girl every time i see you and they're beautiful!" I just hate the hypocrisy. 2.85 MB GIF : Anonymous (ID: dfvXbaVe >>412425548 # 01/16/23(Mon)21:47:03 No.412425111 >>412424603 (OP) # >"I'll love you no matter who you are as a person" >"I'm bi grandma" >"You're a f-----" >"Love you too grandma"

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Anon had a pleasant morning | /r/Greentext

File: 752489BD-CD6A-46E3-A34D-EB0E61090920.jpg (789 KB, 1485x2048) Anonymous 01/16/23 (Mon)15:26:19 No.71847610 [Reply] ► >>71848746 >>71848749 >>71848766 >order a pizza >bill comes out to $20.65 >have exactly $20.65, plus a bowl full of pennies for the tip, because I'm broke today >pizza gets here >qt delivery girl >nervously apologize for the small tip and try and hand her the penny bowl >pennies drop >spaghetti and coins all over the ground >apologize more and try to help pick them up, but I'm too shaky to effectively grab the pennies >finally we gather all the money, and I get my pizza >"Enjoy your pizza" and a fake smile >my brain desperately tries to come up with something cool to say to salvage this girl's impression of me >"You too" and slam the door How was your morning?

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Anon's house needs another bathroom | /r/Greentext

15 KB JPG >have one toilet >sister is in there putting on makeup or something for what feels like hours >have to take s--- >at this point im crossing my legs in a double pretzel knot and flailing around >cant hold it >gonna s--- the next time my colon pushes >make a dash out the backdoor to the backyard >take huge s--- in the middle of the yard >pull up pants and walk into kitchen to get napkins to wipe with >fast forward to next day >me and my dad go out in the backyard to do some yardwork >dad calls me over >"what in gods name is your mother feeding the dogs?" >i-i dont know dad... >"jesus christ almighty...get your mother out here" >go inside and bring mother out >my mom looks at it >"good god!!!" >sister comes outside to see whats going on >"ewww" >mfw my entire family is crowded around my s--- looking at it like its a dinosaur egg >dad looks at me >"son go get the shovel and toss this over the fence" >yes sir >toss my s--- over the fence >my parents start feeding our dogs half of what they regularly get >its either that or i confess >im sorry jack and carly but looks like you're going on a diet and taking one for the team

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Anon attempts to flirt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BORN 10 70 KB JPG 10/15/21 (Fri)19:24:49 No.65773140 >be me >Austrian, so mandatory military service >at physical exam >doctor asks me if I am in a relationship (obviously no) >"Why not? You are a handsome young man!" >"You want my number?" >She sends me out >A few mins later the officer comes and shouts at me that I "sexually harrassed the doctor"

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Anon is faced with the The problem of evil | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 KB JPG 01/16/23(Mon)15:36:19 No.71847693 >Worked out >ate healthy >Didn't get vaxxed >Still got cancer >29 years old When did you find out God was evil?

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anon finds a girl on chaturbate | /r/Greentext

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anon is in trouble | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 29 KB JPG 01/16/23(Mon)02:46:57 No.892717745 >be me, at work tonight >work in a restaurant >hostesses at the front have been jokingly teasing me all night >tell me that the other guys on shift are alpha males and I'm a p---- cat >doesn't bother me at all >end of night rolls around, one of the girls is doing reciepts >decide I'm gonna get her with a zinger >walk up and start poking her in the side of her arm >"damn, what's your routine?" >she's not even fat >this girl gets out of her chair, does a lap around the restuaraunt >comes back and her face is beet red, she's crying hysterically >calls me a c--- and tells me to go f--- myself Am I gonna get written up for this?

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to be safe is never to be (in)secure | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 13 KB PNG >no stress 01/11/23(Wed)20:58:17 why do incels care about girls so much? friends >laughter >good times >support girlfriend >have to worry about cheating No.71787140 >jealousy >breakups >have to worry about your appearance View Thread

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Anon knows a life hack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Life Hacks 07/23/19(Tue)11:10:55 No.53534008 >be me >Go to twitch >make a new account with real name >Search for low viewer female streamers. 147 KB PNG >Click follow. >9 of 10 times she will say my name and some qt s--- >save the clip Everytime i need some human interaction i just open a video of a qt3.14 saying my name

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Anon explains why Velma exists | /r/Greentext

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Anon is an NPC | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/23(Mon)02:16:17 No.71845253 472 KB PNG >had a shower this morning >forgot I put my towel in the laundry >decide the best way to dry is to just stand still for a while >if I extend my arms and space my legs apart, I can maximize the surface area of my body exposed to the air >stand like this for a while >after a while I get bored and walk across my room >glance out the window >someone quickly moves from the window in an adjacent building >someone was watching me T pose naked for 10 minutes : Anonymous >>71845253 (OP) # Well now they re creating a thread on plebbit about how theo npc neighbour crashed and froze t posing. 01/16/23 (Mon)02:24:54 No.71845321

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