anon is in trouble | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 29 KB JPG 01/16/23(Mon)02:46:57 No.892717745 >be me, at work tonight >work in a restaurant >hostesses at the front have been jokingly teasing me all night >tell me that the other guys on shift are alpha males and I'm a p---- cat >doesn't bother me at all >end of night rolls around, one of the girls is doing reciepts >decide I'm gonna get her with a zinger >walk up and start poking her in the side of her arm >"damn, what's your routine?" >she's not even fat >this girl gets out of her chair, does a lap around the restuaraunt >comes back and her face is beet red, she's crying hysterically >calls me a c--- and tells me to go f--- myself Am I gonna get written up for this?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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to be safe is never to be (in)secure | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 13 KB PNG >no stress 01/11/23(Wed)20:58:17 why do incels care about girls so much? friends >laughter >good times >support girlfriend >have to worry about cheating No.71787140 >jealousy >breakups >have to worry about your appearance View Thread

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Anon knows a life hack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Life Hacks 07/23/19(Tue)11:10:55 No.53534008 >be me >Go to twitch >make a new account with real name >Search for low viewer female streamers. 147 KB PNG >Click follow. >9 of 10 times she will say my name and some qt s--- >save the clip Everytime i need some human interaction i just open a video of a qt3.14 saying my name

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Anon explains why Velma exists | /r/Greentext

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Anon is an NPC | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/23(Mon)02:16:17 No.71845253 472 KB PNG >had a shower this morning >forgot I put my towel in the laundry >decide the best way to dry is to just stand still for a while >if I extend my arms and space my legs apart, I can maximize the surface area of my body exposed to the air >stand like this for a while >after a while I get bored and walk across my room >glance out the window >someone quickly moves from the window in an adjacent building >someone was watching me T pose naked for 10 minutes : Anonymous >>71845253 (OP) # Well now they re creating a thread on plebbit about how theo npc neighbour crashed and froze t posing. 01/16/23 (Mon)02:24:54 No.71845321

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Anon still has hope | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous DEC 8 1998 32 KB JPG 01/15/23(Sun)20:21:17 No.71837020 >send picture of myself to a girl online after she verifies that she's a real woman by showing me her driver's license >don't get blocked immediately well i guess things aren't over yet huh

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Anon wants more bang for his buck! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 3.32 MB GIF 01/16/23(Mon)00:29:02 No.71844092 >escort I've been seeing is overcharging me on the same services given to another dude at a lower price : Anonymous 01/16/23(Mon)00:31:31 No.71844112 Not even trying to be a d--- about it, but you're probably uglier than the other guy. She needs more money for it to be worthwhile. Like if you could f--- a pretty girl for $200 or an ugly girl for $100, would you feel bad for not giving as much money to the ugly girl? Even in the sex industry, women continue to hurt me. >>71844131 # >>71844199 # >>71844146 # : Anonymous >>71844112 # Always have to find a blue pill in everything don't you friend >>71844199 # 01/16/23(Mon)00:33:57 No.71844131 : Anonymous >>71844092 (OP) # Start hitting the gym and get better at grooming. Impress your escort. 01/16/23(Mon)00:34:57 No.71844138

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Anon doesn't like dogs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I f------ need help 27 KB JPG 01/13/23(Fri)16:18:50 No.4408056 >be me. 23 >Green Bay, Wi >little brother and mother brought dogs >brother's dog is a mid-sized puppy from a friend >mother's three dogs are small dogs from a failed farming venture in Ohlkahoma >They don't bother taking them to potty >The garage reeks of piss >suggested they get litter boxes. >they refused >l_want_to_die.mp4 >plz help >I don't want to spend on these dogs >I feel like I want to puke every day.

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Anon likes Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

File: nazi potter.jpg (9 KB, 300x168) Based Harry Potter? Anonymous (ID: oxfivwBqR 01/16/23(Mon)16:05:48 No.412375071 WHITE I was re-reading "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Ausch- kaban" and came across this. What did J R.R. Rowling mean by this? Any thoughts? "Harry Potter!? What have you been doing in the Gas Chamber of Secrets!? Why is there an Amazon delivery of 14 large ovens? And where TF have all the bank goblins gone!?!" Dumbledore whispered inaudibly, shaking the very foundations of the earth. "It wasn't me boss-teacher. I promise." Harry said, rather r*tardedly. "Very well, I shall blame Slatherine then. 6 million points to Gryff-in-door." [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] [Post a Reply] 0/0/1/?

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Anon is a man | /r/Greentext

: ULTRA MASCULINE (lol) HETERO A(...) I'm gonna f---, date and marry the fatess grossest ugliest meanest most backstabbing slandering gossiping vindictive ogre looking woman I can find and have some kids with it so she can f--- me sideways with child support and send me to jail to be killed by gangs of homosexual n------ because that's what being a MAN is about in modern times. Letting weak women and f------ walk all over you and suck you dry of resources and then dispose of you and move on. Because that's what nobility and honor smells like. Yeah....real man s--- 53 KB JPG 5 Replies 01/15/23(Sun)15:18:09 No.7183842 >>71838757 # >>71840602 # View Thread Anonymous >>71838429 (OP) # Based. You should do the ultimate manly thing and kill yourself Only true chad kings will ever feel such release 01/15/23(Sun)15:20:42 No.71838464 : Anonymous >>71838429 (OP) # based, every good male should wife up a post wall slut >>71838464 # incel vibes 01/15/23(Sun)15:42:37 No.71838757

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/ck/ anons discuss cooking quantities | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB JPG >a hint >a drizzle >a cup >a glass >a drop >a bit : Anonymous >a dash >a pinch >a sprinkle >a handful >a splash >a glug >a dab >>18810561 (OP) # >to taste 01/14/23(Sat) 14:32:51 No.18810561 I'm gonna violate you! 1672117386787.jpg 24 KB JPG >>18811007 # >>18815479 # 01/14/23(Sat)14:33:54 No.18810565

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Anon gets the Hawaiian | /r/Greentext

|6C941407-4086-4D3C-A74E-4(...).jpg (625 KB, 1631x1618) google yandex iqdb wait □ Anonymous 01/15/23(Sun)15:10:52 No.71837644 [2] [Reply] >be hanging with bros at game store >pizza place next door >i go next door to order my pizza >realize there's a hot chick working the register >"HEYCANIJUSTGETTHEHAWAIIAN™ >"sorry sir, could you say that again" >face goes red, palms sweaty >"can i please..get..the..hawaiian" >"uuh, of course." >"I give her the money, which is now covered in palm sweat >rush back next door >the next 15 minutes are the longest 15 minutes of my life >can't do it, can't go pick up the pizza and face her again like that >friends urge me and push me, i still resist >fall under peer pressure and walk over there >"or--or--order for b-b-b-rett please" >"the hawaiian? enjoy your night sir!" >drop pizza >piss my pants >manager looking at me and trying to hold in his laughter >girl goes to pick up the pizza but puts her hand over her mouth >I cross my legs and waddle out of the store I am never going back to that f------ pizza store ever again. F--- my life. V

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Dumbledore bellowed calmly with the fury of a thousand suns | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/14/20(Wed) 23:59:29 No.140724042 >"HARRY POTTER DIDYA PUTCHER F-----' NAME INDA GOBLET A FIYAH!?" >"No sir, I-I didn't!" Harry pleaded. >"LIAR! APOSTATE! BLASPHEMER!" Dumbledore roared in Harry's face. >This cannot be tolerated, Potter! You have defiled the holy sacrament of the Tri-Wizard Tournament! Now all of Hogwarts is at risk!" >The students' faces turned pale as a ghost, and audible whispers and gasped could be heard from the crowd. 119 KB JPG >"SILENCE!" Dumbledore declared. "Mr. Potter has committed an unforgivable sin. We all know what must be done. The Great Goblet's wrath must be appeased." >"NO HEADMASTER, PLEASE! TAKE ME INSTEAD!" Ron cried, running towards Harry and Dumbledore. >"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Dumbledore's wand unleashed the killing curse, and Ron's lifeless body crumpled to the floor. The students screamed in horror. >*SILENCE, YOU FOOLISH CHILDREN! SILENCE!" Dumbledore screamed calmly. >Snape seized Harry by the arm and dragged him to the Goblet. Dumbledore carefully took hold of the Goblet, lowering it from its pedestal onto a gold-trimmed square of silk fabric on the floor. Snape forced Harry into a kneeling position, his neck position directly over the Goblet. Dumbledore stood over Harry. He and the students began to chant in unison. >"O Great and Mighty Goblet of Fire, grant mercy to us, your unworthy servants. Accept this recompense of blood, in exchange for the sins of Hogwarts. Let the death of this blasphemer satisfy your vengeance." >Snape unsheathed a ritual athame, and seizing Harry by his scalp began to cut his throat open. Blood gushed out into the Goblet as Harry gurgled in pain. >*... this recompense of blood, in exchange for...! >The flow of blood trickled off. Harry was dead. The chanting ceased, and Dumbledore turned to address the crowd of students. >"May the death of your classmate, Harry Potter, serve as a reminder of where you stand. We serve the Goblet of Fire. The Goblet is our master." > The oblet is master... The students chanted, and chanted, and chanted.. >>140724184 # >>140724309 # >>140724913 # >>140726190 # >>140726492 # >>140728617 # >>140728877 # >>140730182 # >>140731340 # >>140731457 # >>140731813 # >>140735238 # >>140737011 # >>140738002 # >>140746851 # >>140749889 # >>140752724 # >>140759867 # >>140759994 #

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