|6C941407-4086-4D3C-A74E-4(...).jpg (625 KB, 1631x1618) google yandex iqdb wait □ Anonymous 01/15/23(Sun)15:10:52 No.71837644 [2] [Reply] >be hanging with bros at game store >pizza place next door >i go next door to order my pizza >realize there's a hot chick working the register >"HEYCANIJUSTGETTHEHAWAIIAN™ >"sorry sir, could you say that again" >face goes red, palms sweaty >"can i please..get..the..hawaiian" >"uuh, of course." >"I give her the money, which is now covered in palm sweat >rush back next door >the next 15 minutes are the longest 15 minutes of my life >can't do it, can't go pick up the pizza and face her again like that >friends urge me and push me, i still resist >fall under peer pressure and walk over there >"or--or--order for b-b-b-rett please" >"the hawaiian? enjoy your night sir!" >drop pizza >piss my pants >manager looking at me and trying to hold in his laughter >girl goes to pick up the pizza but puts her hand over her mouth >I cross my legs and waddle out of the store I am never going back to that f------ pizza store ever again. F--- my life. V

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Dumbledore bellowed calmly with the fury of a thousand suns | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/14/20(Wed) 23:59:29 No.140724042 >"HARRY POTTER DIDYA PUTCHER F-----' NAME INDA GOBLET A FIYAH!?" >"No sir, I-I didn't!" Harry pleaded. >"LIAR! APOSTATE! BLASPHEMER!" Dumbledore roared in Harry's face. >This cannot be tolerated, Potter! You have defiled the holy sacrament of the Tri-Wizard Tournament! Now all of Hogwarts is at risk!" >The students' faces turned pale as a ghost, and audible whispers and gasped could be heard from the crowd. 119 KB JPG >"SILENCE!" Dumbledore declared. "Mr. Potter has committed an unforgivable sin. We all know what must be done. The Great Goblet's wrath must be appeased." >"NO HEADMASTER, PLEASE! TAKE ME INSTEAD!" Ron cried, running towards Harry and Dumbledore. >"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Dumbledore's wand unleashed the killing curse, and Ron's lifeless body crumpled to the floor. The students screamed in horror. >*SILENCE, YOU FOOLISH CHILDREN! SILENCE!" Dumbledore screamed calmly. >Snape seized Harry by the arm and dragged him to the Goblet. Dumbledore carefully took hold of the Goblet, lowering it from its pedestal onto a gold-trimmed square of silk fabric on the floor. Snape forced Harry into a kneeling position, his neck position directly over the Goblet. Dumbledore stood over Harry. He and the students began to chant in unison. >"O Great and Mighty Goblet of Fire, grant mercy to us, your unworthy servants. Accept this recompense of blood, in exchange for the sins of Hogwarts. Let the death of this blasphemer satisfy your vengeance." >Snape unsheathed a ritual athame, and seizing Harry by his scalp began to cut his throat open. Blood gushed out into the Goblet as Harry gurgled in pain. >*... this recompense of blood, in exchange for...! >The flow of blood trickled off. Harry was dead. The chanting ceased, and Dumbledore turned to address the crowd of students. >"May the death of your classmate, Harry Potter, serve as a reminder of where you stand. We serve the Goblet of Fire. The Goblet is our master." > The oblet is master... The students chanted, and chanted, and chanted.. >>140724184 # >>140724309 # >>140724913 # >>140726190 # >>140726492 # >>140728617 # >>140728877 # >>140730182 # >>140731340 # >>140731457 # >>140731813 # >>140735238 # >>140737011 # >>140738002 # >>140746851 # >>140749889 # >>140752724 # >>140759867 # >>140759994 #

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Malfoy pill, or no pill! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: xe6xKQ6x political relevance of movies (...) 11/02/17(Thu)12:35:14 20 KB JPG No.147653206 When you realize Draco was right the entire time >invites Harry to be his friend in the very first movie, warns him against hanging with the wrong types, gets spurred >Sorting hat puts Harry in Slytherin, he pusses out and goes Gryffindor like a cuck >Draco is redpilled on racemixing, calling n------ "mudbloods" to their faces straight up >AESTHETIC A---- haircut, tall and thin and alpha-looking vs. Harry's manlet stature that impresses only Ginny (an actual coalburning n------loving inbred fetal alcohol syndrome having w----) in the end >BTFO's Harry multiple times in front of the entire school, makes hundreds of p------ wet simultaneously >Dad still alive for most of the series >Gets the succ from hot Slytherin thots daily, only succ Harry ever got was from a dementor, Ginny doesn't put out and has bad Weasley genes so his kids are probably retarded vs. Malfoy's guaranteed racially pure A---- descendants Take the Malfoy pill

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anon defends his property | /r/Greentext

File: clowns17n-2-web.jpg (94 KB, 750x829) E Anonymous 03/22/17(Wed)16:03:39 No.726490398 ► story time autists >be me >6'6" 280lb redneck >we're talking full blown, AR15-toting, Trump-supporting, trailer-dwelling Texan redneck >live 2 miles from nearest human and 10 miles from nearest town >watching s----- reality TV one evening >stark naked b/c Texan summers and my wagie ass can't afford A/C >at about 11pm, hear car pulling up in driveway >LeaveMeAloneShitheads.jpg >look out window, see s------ 1990s Toyota covered in graffiti >3 teenagers in what I'm guessing was supposed to be "scary" clown attire file out >recall string of vandalism in local news, lightbulb goes off >NotOnMyWatch.exe >grab rifle, throw on nearest pair of boots and quietly go out back door >start slowly circling around trailer hoping to catch the little f------ in the act >hear some indistinct talking on side opposite mine, figure it's my chance >dramatically jump out with rifle up and start thinking of something imposing to say like "wanna die?" or "f--- you" >stage 5 autism kicks in, my brain fuses the two, and I shout at the top of my voice "WANNA F---?" >quickly look down and realize all the adrenaline has made my member fully erect >realize how it must look from their perspective >a 6'6" fatass with an AR15, a woody, and wearing nothing but cowboy boots has just asked them to f--- >I have NEVER seen anything haul ass faster in my entire life >no vandalism on the news for a couple weeks

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Anon has a problem | /r/Greentext

174 KB PNG > be me > idk what to do anymore > whenever I meet a girl she shows pure interest in me for few weeks then ghost me >It happened already like 10 times > Luckily I am not a virgin eventhough I have never had a gf my body is 5 girls > All of them ghosted me after sex or few weeks after not even wanting to be friends with me > whenever I say "But we can be still friends." which I actually wouldnt mind they block me so I have never even been in a friendzone... > want to kms soon > whenever I caught feelings I got hurted > Hurted so many times that I cant even fell in love anymore imo > Last time, when I almost made out with a girl at toilets I didnt even get hard cuz I am too much disgusted with femoids Rn I am talking to a really cute blonde, we also kissed each other, but we already talk to each other for 2 weeks so I expect ghost every day, no feelings for her anymore. I understand pat bateman every day more and more

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Harry Potter and FemBoy Prince | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)13:29:01 No.865123914 a72b9062e0d32ffb434605d7252773c1.jpg 1024 KB JPG *dumbledore walks up the stage* *everyone clapping and cheering* >dumbledore: welcome welcome to... *people clap* >dumbledore: i admire your enthusiasm but please try to hold it just for a minute >welcome to... HOGWARTS HOTTEST TWINK COMPETITION!!! *people go crazy clapping and cheering* >as you all know this is the final round, dumbledore said >please welcome the final contestants: >haaaarrrry pooootttteeeerrrr AND draaaaccoooo maaalfoooy *people cheer* *harry and draco shows up dressed in the normal hogwarts uniform* >hope you didn't wear your best thigh highs just to lose potter? >i did malfoy, the pink one but not to lose *malfoy getting visibly nervous* >dumbledore: okey boys, show us what you got *complete silence* *harry and malfoy take a deep breath and rip off their uniform revealing fat asses and thigh highs* >you chose the the black thigh high huh malfoy? >i play to win potter *the crowd goes nuts* >dumbledore: let's begin, START THE MUSIC!!! *ok boomer start playing* *harry and malfoy start doing the ok boomer dance and taking every chance to show ass* *3 hours later* >dumbledore holding the mike: THEY ARE STILL DANCING FOR 3 HOURS!!! >but it's time to decide who won >is it... harry? *the crowd claps hard* >or is it... malfoy? FIN *the crowd goes NUTS* >malfoy: you know why you lost potter? >*tearing* why is that malfoy? >because people like the "i'm disappointing my father" energy, and you are fatherless potter FATHERLESS *potter crying like a lil bitch*

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Anon transforms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12 KB PNG 09/16/18(Sun)23:02:27 No.780057804 >be me >watch greentext videos on youtube >decide to go to the source >browse r9k and b looking for greentexts >all i find is p--- >decide to make my own >immediately after posting my girlfriend calls and breaks up with me >parents call me and tell me im disowned >boss fires me >suddenly feel a huge gain in weight >i now have 3 more chins, all covered in hair >my stomach is so big I can't see below my waist >clothes sink into all of my flab >I now weigh so much that I can't move any part of my body besides fingers >I can't even click off of this godforsaken website Help me fellow anons wat do

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Anon is a conspiracy theorist. | /r/Greentext

the receiving an important new mission from President George Bush on September 10th 2001 Anonymous 01/15/23(Sun)21:08:21 No.892685020 7/11 was a full-time job.

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Anon tries to flirt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 124 KB PNG 06/20/21(Sun)05:25:44 No.64226425 >Cute gal looks at me. >Try to think of a non-cringy compliment. >Notice she has some wacky sandals on. >Think to compliment her on those. >"Hey, nice feet." comes out of my mouth instead. >See the look of disgust on her face >Instantly die inside.

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Anon pirates a game | /r/Greentext

25202 10 >run pirated game >printer starts making noise >full black page, both sides 1 REPLY

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Anon creates a core memory for his daughter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I f----- up real bad 01/13/23(Fri)02:56:53 No.71798696 >typing this from inside an IHOP rn >share joint custody of my daughter with my ex >both think I'm a loser because all I do is talk about Japanese weaponry on 4chan and play MK 760 KB JPG >daughter's birthday comes around (at ex's house), so I decide to show them how cool I am >wrap my 25 in. machete up in gift wrap and it to the party >ex: "wow, you remembered to bring a gift" >shutupbitch.gif >time to break open pinata comes around and I excuse myself >unwrap 25 in. machete and run to the backyard >daughter is blindfolded, holding bat, so I gently shove her out the way so she won't get hit >go ballistic on that paper mache horse >snickers and skittles fly everywhere >triumphantly spike my 25 in. machete into the ground then look around >daughter is crying, none of the parents or children move, ex pulls out her phone >ohshit.jpeg >manage to jump the fence while everyone is still trying to process what happened (didn't have time to take 25 in. machete with me) >drive off I've stopped to gather my thoughts at this IHOP where I'm typing this on my mini mac. May have to leave the state or even the country.

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Slytherins can't catch a break | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 540 KB JPG 01/11/23(Wed)07:21:55 >ONE POINT TO SLYTHERIN FOR EVERY JEW KILLED IN THE HOLOCAUST! >malfoy sneers >the old coot is having us on again, that's zero points... No.176341891 >THATS 144,000 POINTS, MOSTLY DUE TO TYPHUS >slytherin begins cheering >HOWEVER... >their jubilation dies almost instantly and you hear quiet weeping from the back of the hall >IT IS ONLY FAIR WE RECOGNISE BOTH SIDES OF THE DEBATE... >AND SO I AWARD ONE POINT TO GRYIFFINDOR FOR EVERY CHRISTIAN KILLED BY JEWISH BOLSHEVIKS >murmuring across the hall as nobody knows how many that was >20 MILLION POINTS! YOU HEARD ME CORRECTLY! 20 MILLION F------ WHITE CHRISTIANS KILLED! AND THEY DIDNT TEACH ANY OF YOU DID THEY? DID THEY???? >statues come to life and start stomping into the hall >slytherins resign themselves to another month in the dungeon >they walk past >they hoist filius fitwick into the air >LETS EVEN THOSE NUMBERS SHALL WE CHILDREN? DIE YOU DYSGENIC M----- K---! >nobody dares mention how fitwick isn't even jewish as the golems tear his arms and legs off and he screams in agony >144001 POINTS TO SLYTHERIN! OOOOO YOU CAN STILL WIN THE CUP YET BOYS AND GIRLS! >everyone cheers : Anonymous Wrong board sorry, should be tv 01/11/23(Wed)07:22:19 No.176341897

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Anon is hunting an elusive beast. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)06:34:58 No.149397381 1608637375063.jpg 53 KB JPG >These tracks... The imprint of women's shoes, but the stride length is that of a man. I'm getting close... >>149397605 # >>149398174 # >>149398183 # >>149398796 # >>149398881 # >>149402693 # >>149403324 # >>149403415 # >>149403429 # >>149403474 # >>149404378 # >>149405995 # >>149408400 # >>149409094 # >>149410452 # >>149410494 # >>149410569 # >>149411395 # >>149412943 #

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Greentext Stories - Anon gets the Hawaiian | /r/Greentext

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|6C941407-4086-4D3C-A74E-4(...).jpg (625 KB, 1631x1618) google yandex iqdb wait □ Anonymous 01/15/23(Sun)15:10:52 No.71837644 [2] [Reply] >be hanging with bros at game store >pizza place next door >i go next door to order my pizza >realize there's a hot chick working the register >"HEYCANIJUSTGETTHEHAWAIIAN™ >"sorry sir, could you say that again" >face goes red, palms sweaty >"can i please..get..the..hawaiian" >"uuh, of course." >"I give her the money, which is now covered in palm sweat >rush back next door >the next 15 minutes are the longest 15 minutes of my life >can't do it, can't go pick up the pizza and face her again like that >friends urge me and push me, i still resist >fall under peer pressure and walk over there >"or--or--order for b-b-b-rett please" >"the hawaiian? enjoy your night sir!" >drop pizza >piss my pants >manager looking at me and trying to hold in his laughter >girl goes to pick up the pizza but puts her hand over her mouth >I cross my legs and waddle out of the store I am never going back to that f------ pizza store ever again. F--- my life. V

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