Anon fried his brain | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 362 KB JPG 01/11/23(Wed)19:54:58 No.71791086 >say f--- it >use weed the whole month of December >go without it for a week >can't j------- or enjoy p--- anymore when will I go back to normal Anonymous >>71791086 (OP) # Never you f----- up, 01/11/23(Wed)20:07:05 No.71791216

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon is inducted into the hall of retards | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/23/19(Fri)08:26:22 No.807817159 >hear that 4chan is filled with elite hackers >open browser and go to 4chan >my laptop camera scans my retinal >"permission granted" >holy mackerel these guys are elite! >I get a message on my phone from an unknown number 381 KB JPG >"put all your fingers on the trackpad" >I put my fingers on the trackpad and my fingerprints are burned off >holy f--- >mfw they initiate me into their anti-establishment hacker group >mfw we're going to flip society on their head >lol just kidding >they're just a bunch of retards

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That $400 is barely enough to pay for Anon's tendies and dewey for a week! What is he supposed to do guys??? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/23(Thu)09:55:35 No.71795647 bruh graduate college >get highest paying job I'm qualified for (23/hr) >rent cheapest apartment I can find (850/month) >have to pay on loans (1k/month) >have to buy groceries for myself (~400/month) How in thee f--- am I supposed to make it 194 KB JPG

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Anon gets a piercing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 101 12/13/22(Tue)21:00:08 No.28741538 >transfem been on hormones for over a year >always wanted nipple piercings but thought they'd look dumb on a flat chest >boobs are now big enough that i decided to go for it >never had any other piercing done before, so really nervous about the pain and healing process, especially because my nips are very sensitive (foreshadowing) >piercer is a heavily tattooed lady in her 30's or so with so many piercings it's basically chain mail >she's super nice, answers all of my questions and makes sure i'm comfortable >i take my shirt off and she wipes one of my n------ with alcohol >start feeling a bit of pressure and try to take deep breaths >it hurts a lot but i've had worse >feel kind of reassured and ecstatic actually? >i start getting hard even though i have a really low libido usually >try to ignore it >"That wasn't so bad, was it! You wanted one on both, right?" >i nod and she disinfects the other one too >the way she rubs it feels really good i start getting butterflies in my stomach >fully bricked up, still out of breath and light headed from the last one >she pierces it >i c-- >she notices me twitch in a weird way and puts her hand on my cheek >quietly says "that's the last one, you alright?" >i'm so embarrassed i can't even speak, i just let out a little gasping moan >lie down and relax for a few minutes >thank her and skedaddle home 160 KB PNG happened almost two weeks ago and haven't been able to stop thinking about it. What the f--- do i do with this new core memory?

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Anon got bullied | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 170 KB PNG 12/29/22(Thu)16:11:55 No.71606269 >be me, 14 years old >getting bullied at school >one day decide to get revenge >idea.jpeg >order an 1800s vintage french sword from ebay >spend a whole week barely being able to sleep from excitement >it finally comes >have a little fun with it, play around, cut some fruit >holyshitthisissharp.png >decide to bring it to school with me >hide it up my ass so no one sees it >third period, the bully comes to pick on me, as ussual >this time he doesnt know about the little surprise i have >gets up close to me and hits me >ENOUGH!.png >get the sword out >stainless steel 74 cm, a beautiful baby >get into the Pflug pose, and get ready >he s---- himself and starts running >almost get suspended, but it was worth it >wake up

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Anon makes mashed potatoes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 551 KB PNG such a retard Anonymous 01/13/23(Fri)00:15:35 No.71795360 >out of milk for my mashed potatoes >see meme about somebody using chocolate milk and it tasting good >decide to use chocolate milk >it tastes like f------ dog s--- What a waste of potato. Why am I 01/13/23(Fri)00:18:34 No.71795385 Look, you've followed the culinary tradition of trying strange s---. Congratulation on try something new. Never try that one again.

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Anon learns how to spin a pen | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/28/21 (Wed)21:26:27 No.853160931 23 KB JPG okay i haven't use this site in many months and id like to tell a greentext even if nobody reads it >be me, 7 years ago >16 year old beta who thought he was a chad, a bit taller than average, over grown hair >never had a girlfriend or friends, never even talked to someone in school >would watch a s--- ton of anime >watch hyouka (good stuff) >wants to imitate the main character spin the pen >google how to pen spin like him >learn loads of pen spins over the duration of summer >school starts, sit in the corner, do nothing but spin >betas watch me from afar >lunch break starts, betas come gather around my seat >they wanna watch and learn how to spin >teach them >they invite me out after school >cry and open upto them the coming weeks >realise i was the beta >make friends >23 now with a girlfriend, a job and hobbies >still an avid spinner >mfw an anime character and a f------ pen was the reason of my maturity you can do it fellow anons, i believe in you

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anon is a skinny guy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 39 KB JPG 01/12/23(Thu)11:07:39 No.892484009 >be me >tall skinny guy >fastmetabolism.exe >have to eat copious amounts of food everyday in order to not lose more weight >be known at work as "the guy who eats a lot" >everyday at lunch my tray is like 2-3 times fuller than the rest of people >all thisass has to go somewhere >massiveshits.gif >my gigantic logs clog the only toilet on our floor every other day >sooner or later somebody's gonna connect the amounts of food with the amounts of s--- Mfw i might get in trouble for s------- at work

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primal urges | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 24588121 UP 221.4 kB PNG 2 hr. ago... >make gf take a brisk walk in the woods during 35c day. >ambush her by a grassy knoll >lift up her short skirt and take a deep long whiff of her smelly sweaty c--- >have an asthma attack due to hay allergy >gf calls ambulance and tells them i passed out sniffing her p---- >other hikers heard Should i just kill myself? 3 REPLIES 0 IMAGES REPLY 2 hr. ago Anonymous | 24588186 >>24588121 (OP) Mate you're a f------ ape. 10/10 primal return to monke.

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Anon goes to the park | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/29/18(Tue)07:17:29 No.2702217 >Take dog for walk at night >College campus, come to a secluded little 51 KB PNG trail/garden area >Dog starts eating a patch of grass >Get onto all fours and start eating the grass alongside him to see if it tastes good >Doesn't >Get up >There was a couple sitting on a bench about 10 feet away that I somehow hadn't seen >Leave immediately without saying a word >>2703584 # >>2704534 #

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Europeans don't eat onions? Who knew??? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous schizo posting Why are men's testosterone levels decreasing? 01/12/23(Thu)00:46:46 No.71792142 748 KB PNG >microplastics >onions >hormones in meat >preservatives are all causing us men to be weak and onions. think about it sir the average us man has lower t than most women around the world notice how european men aren affected here is why they have >no microplastics >no onions >no hormones in meat >no preservatives europeans dont conume sneed oils or onions the average europeans has a diet of grass fed red meat raw butter and locally grown food this is why they all have high t while americans dont

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anon is a mental health champion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 555 KB PNG 01/12/23(Thu)10:18:20 No.892482563 >8th grade >health class >subject today is mental health >to promote happiness or some s--- we have a piece of paper that in a minute we have people get up and go around and write nice things on each other's papers >couple of minutes go by >"everyone sit back down" >look at my paper with two things written on it >the one good friend I have in the class wrote "funny" >random girl wrote "weird" Years later and I still haven't killed myself. Am I a mental health champion?

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Anon is a programmer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 262 KB PNG 01/12/23(Thu)12:40:26 No.90852730 I got fired today and before I left the office I trashed our software's code by replacing a small block with garbage generated by ChatGPT

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