anon is a skinny guy | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 39 KB JPG 01/12/23(Thu)11:07:39 No.892484009 >be me >tall skinny guy >fastmetabolism.exe >have to eat copious amounts of food everyday in order to not lose more weight >be known at work as "the guy who eats a lot" >everyday at lunch my tray is like 2-3 times fuller than the rest of people >all thisass has to go somewhere >massiveshits.gif >my gigantic logs clog the only toilet on our floor every other day >sooner or later somebody's gonna connect the amounts of food with the amounts of s--- Mfw i might get in trouble for s------- at work

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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primal urges | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 24588121 UP 221.4 kB PNG 2 hr. ago... >make gf take a brisk walk in the woods during 35c day. >ambush her by a grassy knoll >lift up her short skirt and take a deep long whiff of her smelly sweaty c--- >have an asthma attack due to hay allergy >gf calls ambulance and tells them i passed out sniffing her p---- >other hikers heard Should i just kill myself? 3 REPLIES 0 IMAGES REPLY 2 hr. ago Anonymous | 24588186 >>24588121 (OP) Mate you're a f------ ape. 10/10 primal return to monke.

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Anon goes to the park | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/29/18(Tue)07:17:29 No.2702217 >Take dog for walk at night >College campus, come to a secluded little 51 KB PNG trail/garden area >Dog starts eating a patch of grass >Get onto all fours and start eating the grass alongside him to see if it tastes good >Doesn't >Get up >There was a couple sitting on a bench about 10 feet away that I somehow hadn't seen >Leave immediately without saying a word >>2703584 # >>2704534 #

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Europeans don't eat onions? Who knew??? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous schizo posting Why are men's testosterone levels decreasing? 01/12/23(Thu)00:46:46 No.71792142 748 KB PNG >microplastics >onions >hormones in meat >preservatives are all causing us men to be weak and onions. think about it sir the average us man has lower t than most women around the world notice how european men aren affected here is why they have >no microplastics >no onions >no hormones in meat >no preservatives europeans dont conume sneed oils or onions the average europeans has a diet of grass fed red meat raw butter and locally grown food this is why they all have high t while americans dont

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anon is a mental health champion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 555 KB PNG 01/12/23(Thu)10:18:20 No.892482563 >8th grade >health class >subject today is mental health >to promote happiness or some s--- we have a piece of paper that in a minute we have people get up and go around and write nice things on each other's papers >couple of minutes go by >"everyone sit back down" >look at my paper with two things written on it >the one good friend I have in the class wrote "funny" >random girl wrote "weird" Years later and I still haven't killed myself. Am I a mental health champion?

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Anon is a programmer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 262 KB PNG 01/12/23(Thu)12:40:26 No.90852730 I got fired today and before I left the office I trashed our software's code by replacing a small block with garbage generated by ChatGPT

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Femanon rigs the communism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 150 KB JPG 01/12/23(Thu)08:49:49 No.71793019 >have a commie bf >he's angry with me because I have sex with his friends what the f---?

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Anon hangs out with coworkers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 KVEN PER 14 KB JPG 01/12/23(Thu)01:43:53 No.71788636 >be me >coworkers invite me over for drinks after work >sure why not >have fun >one of them makes a joke about me having a small d--- >i make a light joke about her being fat >everyone goes silent and just stares at me >she starts malding and calling me names >i get up and leave >next day my boss asks me to go to her office >tells me that i should stop causing trouble >nobody talks to me now why is it fun to bodyshame me and only me 27 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Touch rice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/12/23(Thu)01:01:16 No.71792265 >Be me >Be chink >Go to new chink restaurant 5 min from my house >Order my food for inside >Wait.bat >Get food with only a fork and no chopsticks >howdidthey know.webm >Look over at other tables 59 KB JPG >Pasty cracker has chopsticks and uses them like a pro Damn, I feel like the s-------- chink ever 01/12/23(Thu)01:24:02 No.71792431 01/12/23(Thu)01:26:20 No.71792450 Anonymous Anonymous chinks are born with chopstick knowledge.. you are defective

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Anon discovers his true self | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Cooooooooom ms 23 KB JPG 03/23/21 (Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying > suddenly she grabs my face and leans close > wispers 'come for mommy baby boy' > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/11/23(Wed) 20:38:32 No.71790477 >be me >in another MS Teams meeting that could've just been a f------ email >500 people waiting for the parent company director to show up because he's 10 minutes late 83 KB PNG >he finally joins and the meeting begins >typical boring s--- like congratulating departments and explaining company changes >start right and left clicking on random s--- because bored af >decide to right click on the directors dumb face >panel opens and i realize that for some reason i have meeting privileges >can mute, kick, etc. >mfw.png >mute the entire meeting and clear my throat into my microphone before unmuting >"Um well I don't know what happened there..." >start randomly muting the director for 1 second while he's in the middle of talking >people in chat constantly asking him to repeat himself >i let him speak for a while before deciding to mute the entire meeting again >before i can unmute the meeting a chad coworker squawks like a f------ parrot super loud into his microphone >it's deafening through the work headphones >pissing myself laughing >"..... Okay" >director decides to end the meeting early >mfw an email is sent that afternoon f--- ms teams meetings

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YOU SHOULD SUDO APT PURGE LIFE NOW | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: unknown.png (490 KB, 679x403) YOU SHOULD SUDO APT PURGE LIFE NOW!! [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] Linux moment Anonymous 01/12/23(Thu)01:51:41 No.90847232 >get friend to install linux >Says he likes it >leave him alone for a day >Check on his computer >He installed google chrome >Poison his next meal

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Anon tries to make friends, gets topped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 173 KB JPG 01/11/23(Wed)18:07:01 No.892453802 >be loner no friends ever >"pUt YoUrSeLf OuT tHeRe AnOn" >no idea what that means or where out there" is >w-- is bumble bff >download it >95% guys are homos who want to top me or get topped >disgusting >other 5% are just as awkward about this friends dating on bumble as any straight guy should be 35 there is no hope for the lonely and why tf are homos everywhere on the internet

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