Anon hangs out with coworkers | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 11 KVEN PER 14 KB JPG 01/12/23(Thu)01:43:53 No.71788636 >be me >coworkers invite me over for drinks after work >sure why not >have fun >one of them makes a joke about me having a small d--- >i make a light joke about her being fat >everyone goes silent and just stares at me >she starts malding and calling me names >i get up and leave >next day my boss asks me to go to her office >tells me that i should stop causing trouble >nobody talks to me now why is it fun to bodyshame me and only me 27 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Touch rice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/12/23(Thu)01:01:16 No.71792265 >Be me >Be chink >Go to new chink restaurant 5 min from my house >Order my food for inside >Wait.bat >Get food with only a fork and no chopsticks >howdidthey know.webm >Look over at other tables 59 KB JPG >Pasty cracker has chopsticks and uses them like a pro Damn, I feel like the s-------- chink ever 01/12/23(Thu)01:24:02 No.71792431 01/12/23(Thu)01:26:20 No.71792450 Anonymous Anonymous chinks are born with chopstick knowledge.. you are defective

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Anon discovers his true self | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Cooooooooom ms 23 KB JPG 03/23/21 (Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying > suddenly she grabs my face and leans close > wispers 'come for mommy baby boy' > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/11/23(Wed) 20:38:32 No.71790477 >be me >in another MS Teams meeting that could've just been a f------ email >500 people waiting for the parent company director to show up because he's 10 minutes late 83 KB PNG >he finally joins and the meeting begins >typical boring s--- like congratulating departments and explaining company changes >start right and left clicking on random s--- because bored af >decide to right click on the directors dumb face >panel opens and i realize that for some reason i have meeting privileges >can mute, kick, etc. >mfw.png >mute the entire meeting and clear my throat into my microphone before unmuting >"Um well I don't know what happened there..." >start randomly muting the director for 1 second while he's in the middle of talking >people in chat constantly asking him to repeat himself >i let him speak for a while before deciding to mute the entire meeting again >before i can unmute the meeting a chad coworker squawks like a f------ parrot super loud into his microphone >it's deafening through the work headphones >pissing myself laughing >"..... Okay" >director decides to end the meeting early >mfw an email is sent that afternoon f--- ms teams meetings

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YOU SHOULD SUDO APT PURGE LIFE NOW | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: unknown.png (490 KB, 679x403) YOU SHOULD SUDO APT PURGE LIFE NOW!! [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] Linux moment Anonymous 01/12/23(Thu)01:51:41 No.90847232 >get friend to install linux >Says he likes it >leave him alone for a day >Check on his computer >He installed google chrome >Poison his next meal

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Anon tries to make friends, gets topped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 173 KB JPG 01/11/23(Wed)18:07:01 No.892453802 >be loner no friends ever >"pUt YoUrSeLf OuT tHeRe AnOn" >no idea what that means or where out there" is >w-- is bumble bff >download it >95% guys are homos who want to top me or get topped >disgusting >other 5% are just as awkward about this friends dating on bumble as any straight guy should be 35 there is no hope for the lonely and why tf are homos everywhere on the internet

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Anon is a boomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 56 KB PNG 01/11/23(Wed)19:28:19 No.892467881 >be boomer tradesfag >perpetuate toxic cycle of treating apprentices like s--- because that's how I was treated >whip them around like mules >give them a disproportionately large workload despite being paid 5x more than them >pressure them into doing unsafe work in attempt to meet unrealistic deadlines >s--- on them for asking for a day off when it all inevitably catches up to them >still wonder why young people aren't getting into the trades >must be because they're all lazy snowflakes : Anonymous >>892467881 (OP) # This message brought to you by the GOP. 01/11/23(Wed)19:36:59 No.892468407

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Anon checks on his feet | /r/Greentext

01/13/22(Thu)06:57:46 No.87057961 >be me >be yesterday or last week or something >be walking down street >suddenly can't remember if I put my shoes on before I left the house >check feet >I've got shoes on >everything worked out just fine in the end

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Anon is no longer a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 131 KB JPG 07/05/18(Thu)16:31:04 No.773480835 >live in virginia >move to north carolina >see ya later virginians

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Anon expieriences inferior North American architecture | /r/Greentext

File: 1649551421964.jpg (21 KB, 400x400) Anonymous (ID: Eqh+i+KC ) 01/11/23(Wed)21:37:51 No.411809735 [Reply] ► >able to afford renting my first house in a nice neighborhood last year >nice neighbors all smile at me and say hi >decide now that I'm moved out of my mom's house I can finally shout the N word on PC and trash talk people to the fullest extent with no one else in the house to hear >get drunk on weekends and play PC and talk made s---, I even yell at people >notice the neighbors stop being so friendly to me >no one says hi anymore or even looks at me >don't think much of it >one day I have some people over for drinks >i go into my.bacmyard alone at night for a quick smoke >sit on a lawn chair >can hear all the people chatting inside from where I'm sitting, even with all the doors and windows closed >start to have a oanic attack realizing I've Shouted the N word at the top of my lungs and kept repeating it to multiple people in multiple games >realize my neighbors probably heard everything

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Anon blows his chances | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 50 KB PNG Have sex. 01/11/23(Wed)20:06:42 No.179098674 01/11/23(Wed)20:12:44 No.179098870 Anonymous >>179098674 (OP) The last time I tried the girl I was with tried to get me to eat her p----. I was barely 3 licks in before I was so overwhelmed with disgust at the horror of the action that I gagged and vomit filled my mouth. I swallowed it down and tried to hide the evidence but apparently my gagging and choking was offensive enough to her that things didn't go anywhere from there. Didn't talk to her again and spent the rest of the night playing Disgaea. Unfortunate, but please rest assured c-------- man that I at least did try.

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anon steals from ice cream shop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Story 01/11/23(Wed) 22:33:03 No.892436251 >walk into chocolate shop >Lady behind counter says "hi what can I get for you today" >Ask for sample >"Ok sounds good which flavor" she says >Try three different flavors 65 KB JPG >Moan while I'm eating them >She asks "Alright you about ready to order" >Tell her no thanks and walk out

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Chadanon starts a business | /r/Greentext

>Be me >realize i'm good at sex >decide to start profiting >start an online business where I help out men who can't please their woman well enough >Husbands pay my travel fees and a few thousand dollars to come show them how to have sex >i hump their wives in front of them while they wach, but it's instructional 19 KB JPG >So basically i'm paid to travel and have sex with all sorts of women >I'm still single because most women don't want to date a man with this type of occupation >I find joy in it because i'm helping out all sorts of men in my country but i do want to find love one day

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