'The Dildo Of Consequences' Has Been One Of Internet's Favorite Sayings Since 2022, But It Was First Used Years Earlier
'The Ancestral Homeland of Timothée' Becomes Viral Phrasal Template To Reference Paris
Bonesmasher 'James Sapphire' Has Gone Ghost On Social Media As He Slowly Becomes Creepypasta Fodder
Oh... To Hit The Road Or Stay In Beacontown... Decisions, Decisions...
K-Pop Fans Have Turned A TikToker Into A Meme After She Questioned Why Aespa's Maknae 'Ningning' Ate First

File: 1346981613984.jpg-(53 KB, 400x400, illinoise.jpg) SUFJAN STEVENS Come on feel the invites you to ILLINOISE Anonymous 09/06/12(Thu)21:33 No.28034254 Q Dear /mu/ I have a story to tell you guys. >be 16 years old, live in a small town in Illinois, complete 'pleb' who liked Linkin Park, SOAD, etc. You know the deal. >use /b/ irregularly, one day I click on /mu/, because why not? not weeaboo s--- like the other boards >see a thread on pic related >download it, become obsessed with and even buy it on CD >listen to it time after time >completely socially retarded, two friends, both of whom are also socially retarded >go to to f------ church every weekend, not because my parents are religious or anything but because it's part >i'm not an r/atheist either really, just find church interminally boring >one e day a new family shows up in church and sits next to us >they have a really, really cute daughter my age >brown hair, blue eyes, around 5' 4", pretty as all f--- >"h-hi anon, i'm new to this town, want to show me around?" >blue eyes open wide and look straight into mine, first time i'd made legit eye contact in two years >this is love at first sight >"o-ok... there's really not much" >i take her around town and show her all the s----- main street stores >turns out she's from new york and she likes this small town atmosphere >she goes to my to my school but we don't have that many classes together, still, she sits with me and my two loser friends and pretends to be interested in our stupid conversations about vidya and s--- >always sits next to me, always >we have one class together, chemistry, and she asks to come over to my house to study once a week >"okay" (in my head: F--- YES OH MY F--- YES) >we lie on my floor or bed studying together, all this sexual and romantic tension >we always listen to her music, which is always 60s pop like The Beatles, The Supremes, or Sam Cooke. s--- like that Anonymous 09/06/12(Thu)21:33 No.28034264 >>28034254 (OP) >one thursday, I put on Illinois, which by this point i've listened to like 100 times >start singing along to it for no reason >"you have a nice voice, anon, you should sing more" >we stop >one by one the songs wash over us p studying, just lie on bed in complete silence >i can remember every detail of that day - the plain brown sweater she had on, the light rain outside, the carrots my mom gave us as a snack >casimir r pulaski day comes >this is my favorite song, and i tell her that, breaking like 20 minutes of silence >we look straight into each other's eyes, and when sufjan sings 'kissed you on the neck', i kiss her on the neck gently 200 >holy f------ balls i'm blushing so hard it's not even funny, and she starts laughing >what the f--- did I do did I just f--- up so hard what the f--- am I doing costanza.jpg'd myself f--- everything >she kisses me back on the lips, eventually evolves into full-on makeout session gene >afterwards we go back to silence for a few minutes and then make out again >the greatest day of my entire life >i walk her back to her house, 20 minutes away, leave her at the front door with another kiss >"anon... are we boyfriend and girlfriend now?" >"yeah... guess so." >she smiles so f------ big i want to die >> Anonymous 09/06/12(Thu)21:34 No.28034282 @ >>28034264 >walk back to my house listening to casimir pulaski day the whole time >1 1/2 years later, we're still dating and still hang out with the loser friends, life is amazing, we want to get married >one day she gets sick, headaches, dizzy spells, etc >one day develops into weeks >she goes to hospital and finds out she has an inoperable, extremely malignant brain tumor >i watch her quickly descend into not even recognizing who I am >her face remains beautiful through out Shor >her eyes still paralyze me >34 days after she she goes to the hospital she dies, f------ 10 days after Casimir Pulaski Day >it's been a year since and I feel extremely suicidal, don't go to college, mostly sit in my room and play video games and listen to the Promise Ring all day >forgot about this site, came back and there were a lot of feel threads >i don't know what i'm going to do ever in my life. I still masturbate to her every night and feel guilty afterwards. I haven't felt anything for anyone but her since the first time I looked in her eye. i don't want to kill myself cause I don't believe in the afterlife but I need something to do that's doesn't remind me of her, this is the most writing i've done in a year. i need to get the f--- out of my house and this town, but i'm not rich and i can't make it by myself in this state. H-hold me, /mu/.

Share Pin Download More

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: png

Resolution: (1318px x 1174px)

File size: 234 KB

Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

View All 43,901 Images

More:

Anon realises that there's no justice in this world | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)19:54:25 No.71677426 ► >See my neighbor (creepy unemployed incel) (30m) talking to a 24 year old child (f) who works as an adjunct professor at my college, laughing about some movie >Overhear him ask her to come see another movie with him, can't hear her the response tho >She is a woman under patriarchy AND her little brain is not fully developed, there is a huge power imbalance, she can't consent >6 year age gap, there is no way they could even have anything in common, he is clearly grooming her >notallheroeswearcapes.jpg >call the police >they won't do anything about it and threaten consequences if I keep calling them >Apparently this is "legal" There is no justice in this world.

Pin

anon is in too deep | /r/Greentext

GO AWAY! BAITIN! 10 KB JPG >swear off 4chan because of glowniggers and honeypots >promise myself to never go back to 4chan >back in 1 week f---! they got us by the balls! why is this s--- so irresistible????

Pin

Anon outsmarts his peers. | /r/Greentext

Pin

Anon grieves for the gaming industry | /r/Greentext

6:02 Board /v/ - Video Games Gamers are f------ retarded LABOR OF LOVE Cybe 2017 855 KB PNG >etc >promise the world and more >hype the game to stellar levels >mislead everybody with your marketing and forbid pre release reviewers to show the true state of the game >game is literally unplayable on most hardware >runs like dogshit >half the features are missing and will likely never be added into the game >game is so f------ dogshit it's getting pulled from stores and m------------ Sony is giving refunds >some systems are literally worse than those of 20 year old games >abuse devs and make them crunch for years on end ▼ Settings Mobile Home 01/03/23(Tue)15:04:32 No.623129392 this world is f------ beyond salvation and CP2077 proves it >always online bs >lack basic features of the genre like player customization fast forward to current day: >release an edgy anime with blood and t--- >legions of redditors suddenly praise this piece of crap as "an underrated masterpiece", immediately dismiss any and all criticism "because they had fun". Anonymous >probably getting ready to preorder whatever dogshit they put out next and people complain about the state of the gaming industry, while incessantly lowering their standards ܒܩܩܩܩܩ €4/09/20(+83)46.08:01 No.623129679

Pin

Anon discovers tipping culture | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: mGrGJx0Y) 08/26/15(Wed)12:34:55 No. 50418020 File: Monkey.jpg (882 KB, 2560x1440) >Go to America >sit down for a burger >eat burger >waitress comes over and gives me the bill >I place some money on top of the bill >she's still stood there, drool leaking out of her mouth >"S---, I forgot you have to tip" >pay an extra few dollars >"Th-Thanks for the good service" I say >she looks down >"Gee thanks for the good tip, here's a tip" >hands me some money back >"Uh... Ok" >I get up to leave >a giant greasy hand grabs my shirt >I feel paper being stuffed into my pocket >it's the guy who sat at the table next to me >"Here's your tip for being a good customer" >"Ok..." >As I go to open the door to leave a family comes in >The father holds the door open for me >"Thank you" I say as I go to walk past him >his extends his open hand and coughs >take the greasy dollar out of my pocket that the random guy gave me >he just looks at it and lets go of the door >"Only a dollar? F------ tourists" >everyone in the restaurant starts staring at me and whispering "cheap scum" >hurry out the door >get shot immediately as I leave >it's a police officer >"Sorry sir, I thought you were black" >ambulance arrives >>50418103 >>50418206 >I have no money to tip them >they just give me a blank stare >"f------ really?" says one of the paramedics as he begins to pack his equipment away >they leave me at the side of the road >get a ticket from a police officer for making a mess on the floor with my blood >he gives me another one because I didn't tip him for the first ticket At least the burger was nice anyway.

Pin

Anon remembers the 1st black President | /r/Greentext

File: first black president.jpg (11 KB, 480x360) Anonymous (ID: towIdaty Reply] 02/06/18(Tue) 23:25:28 No.159548327 >played jazz sax >could reliably hoop a free throw >ordered fried chicken on every Airforce One flight >almost lost his job over some phat white ass Was Bill Clinton the first black president?

Pin

Zoomer anon discovers classical music | /r/Greentext

Anonymous npc music consoomer 1.37 MB JPG 01/03/23(Tue)12:37:24 No.71676442 >uncultured normiefag always listening to whatever music is popular >rare occasion people ask what I listen to and I say no music only podcastmaxxing since I know theyll judge me for my lack of taste >zoomer me passing the national arts Center on my escooter before I get a haircut >see cool painting of old dude on art Center billboard >use Google lens to identify artist >get haircut, go home, plug in escooter to charge overnight, coom to degen p--- and then listen to identified artist >turns out I like it a lot >Messiah by George Fredric Handel >National orchestra playing one of his symphonies next week at arts Center >see student price is only $15 for any seat so poorfags like me can go >amazed by the discount, get $180 front balcony seats for price of a haircut >listen to his music and some other classical composers before I attend, learn about history and types of classical music briefly as well >s---, shave, shower while listing to sum moar classical bangers on my Google homes throughout my apartment >go to show, enjoy it a lot, mostly old (rich) people but had great seat and booked 3 more shows during intermission >go home, coom to p--- parodies of Mozart f------ some femoids, start making playlist of iconic works >fall down deep rabbithole on YouTube and read ebook on the definitive history of classical and baroque music >see Spotify listening stats on spreadsheet and amazed how far Ive c-- in so little time Zoomers why arnt you classical musicmaxxing yet?

Pin

Anon sends a postcard | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Uni student depressed 96 KB JPG >Walking to nearby liquor store to numb the pain >Tourist trap store on the way >Sells tacky souvenirs and whatnot >Go in on a whim >Postcard is like f------ 25 cents >Buy one >Wake up next morning with hangover >See postcard >Look up online how to fill it out because who the f--- knows how to fill out a postcard in current year >Fill it out >Send to mom and dad >Just like two banal sentences about how I'm doing ok (a lie) and how I hope they are taking good care of my cat >Like 5 days later >Mom calls me to say how much getting that postcard meant to them >Says it made their entire week >Don't drink myself to sleep that night for the first time in a long time

Pin

Euro anon witnesses superior race | /r/Greentext

M **** GE 9 KB JPG >Be me >Eurofag >Have to go to Chicago for work >Right before leaving, find out I also have to go to some bum f--- town in Indiana >have to go through Gary, IN to get there by train >homeless n----- takes a s--- on the train >expected that on the city metro but not on this train >conductor guy gets p----- and yells, points out they have cameras >homeless n----- says he has nothing to lose >begins crying and s------- his pants more >young n----- gets up and yells "Man you a piece of real s---!" >starts kicking the s--- (no pun intended) out of him >dude was unconscious from East Chicago all the way to Gary >conductor asked what happened >everyone person tells him the homeless guy passed out >young n----- stands there like pic rel while other white trash and n------ dap him up Yo what the f--- America

Pin

anon meets the porn addict gamer | /r/Greentext

>be me in the early 2010s >Leave school to go to my friend's dealers house >Have to pretend to hang out with him and his brother so it wasn't obvious that my friend was just buying s--- (dealers parents still lived with them) >His brother is playing some hentai game with tons of t--- and minimal gameplay on his PC >Ask the dealer why his bro is playing that weird ass game 486 KB PNG >Brother turns around and in a stuttery voice says "I only play good games" >I tell him "the gameplay looks s--- it's just p---' >He says "games are only good if you can masturbate to them" and stops responding to me >Dealer says he's just mentally ill and they're forced to share a room Is he right? Are games only good if you can masturbate to them?

Pin

Japanon critiques races | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/09/13(Wed)05:25 No.7705372 Replies: >>7705394 >>7705398 >>7705406 >>7705476 >>7705524 >>7705545 >>7705579 >>7706318 Black people always criminal India people dirty looks criminal but make good curry South america people looks dirty but not many here. mexico food is good America people is ok, except marine and teacher. Europe people best white people good manners. Russia people is like black but wrong color by accident

Pin

Anon lacks knowledge | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 13 KB JPG 03/01/22(Tue)09:55:30 No.67615267 >money doesnt buy happiness does there exist a bigger cope than this? Anonymous Anonymous >>67615267 (OP) It really doesn't, you can't buy female affection. 03/01/22(Tue)09:56:05 No.67615270 03/01/22(Tue)09:56:18 No.67615274 >>67615270 >you can't buy female affection. anon...

Pin

0

Greentext Stories - the feels bros | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

File: 1346981613984.jpg-(53 KB, 400x400, illinoise.jpg) SUFJAN STEVENS Come on feel the invites you to ILLINOISE Anonymous 09/06/12(Thu)21:33 No.28034254 Q Dear /mu/ I have a story to tell you guys. >be 16 years old, live in a small town in Illinois, complete 'pleb' who liked Linkin Park, SOAD, etc. You know the deal. >use /b/ irregularly, one day I click on /mu/, because why not? not weeaboo s--- like the other boards >see a thread on pic related >download it, become obsessed with and even buy it on CD >listen to it time after time >completely socially retarded, two friends, both of whom are also socially retarded >go to to f------ church every weekend, not because my parents are religious or anything but because it's part >i'm not an r/atheist either really, just find church interminally boring >one e day a new family shows up in church and sits next to us >they have a really, really cute daughter my age >brown hair, blue eyes, around 5' 4", pretty as all f--- >"h-hi anon, i'm new to this town, want to show me around?" >blue eyes open wide and look straight into mine, first time i'd made legit eye contact in two years >this is love at first sight >"o-ok... there's really not much" >i take her around town and show her all the s----- main street stores >turns out she's from new york and she likes this small town atmosphere >she goes to my to my school but we don't have that many classes together, still, she sits with me and my two loser friends and pretends to be interested in our stupid conversations about vidya and s--- >always sits next to me, always >we have one class together, chemistry, and she asks to come over to my house to study once a week >"okay" (in my head: F--- YES OH MY F--- YES) >we lie on my floor or bed studying together, all this sexual and romantic tension >we always listen to her music, which is always 60s pop like The Beatles, The Supremes, or Sam Cooke. s--- like that Anonymous 09/06/12(Thu)21:33 No.28034264 >>28034254 (OP) >one thursday, I put on Illinois, which by this point i've listened to like 100 times >start singing along to it for no reason >"you have a nice voice, anon, you should sing more" >we stop >one by one the songs wash over us p studying, just lie on bed in complete silence >i can remember every detail of that day - the plain brown sweater she had on, the light rain outside, the carrots my mom gave us as a snack >casimir r pulaski day comes >this is my favorite song, and i tell her that, breaking like 20 minutes of silence >we look straight into each other's eyes, and when sufjan sings 'kissed you on the neck', i kiss her on the neck gently 200 >holy f------ balls i'm blushing so hard it's not even funny, and she starts laughing >what the f--- did I do did I just f--- up so hard what the f--- am I doing costanza.jpg'd myself f--- everything >she kisses me back on the lips, eventually evolves into full-on makeout session gene >afterwards we go back to silence for a few minutes and then make out again >the greatest day of my entire life >i walk her back to her house, 20 minutes away, leave her at the front door with another kiss >"anon... are we boyfriend and girlfriend now?" >"yeah... guess so." >she smiles so f------ big i want to die >> Anonymous 09/06/12(Thu)21:34 No.28034282 @ >>28034264 >walk back to my house listening to casimir pulaski day the whole time >1 1/2 years later, we're still dating and still hang out with the loser friends, life is amazing, we want to get married >one day she gets sick, headaches, dizzy spells, etc >one day develops into weeks >she goes to hospital and finds out she has an inoperable, extremely malignant brain tumor >i watch her quickly descend into not even recognizing who I am >her face remains beautiful through out Shor >her eyes still paralyze me >34 days after she she goes to the hospital she dies, f------ 10 days after Casimir Pulaski Day >it's been a year since and I feel extremely suicidal, don't go to college, mostly sit in my room and play video games and listen to the Promise Ring all day >forgot about this site, came back and there were a lot of feel threads >i don't know what i'm going to do ever in my life. I still masturbate to her every night and feel guilty afterwards. I haven't felt anything for anyone but her since the first time I looked in her eye. i don't want to kill myself cause I don't believe in the afterlife but I need something to do that's doesn't remind me of her, this is the most writing i've done in a year. i need to get the f--- out of my house and this town, but i'm not rich and i can't make it by myself in this state. H-hold me, /mu/.

View Gallery Random Image

Image Details

300 views (5 from today)

Uploaded Jan 04, 2023 at 12:24AM EST

Origin Entry

Greentext Stories

Source

Tags

Claim Authorship Edit History

About the Uploader

Reddit Moments

Treasurer & Media Maid

Textile Embed

!https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/507/273/c51.png!

Today's Top Image Galleries

The Social Contract

The Social Contract

Queen Never Cry meme.

Queen Never Cry

Wifejak meme format depicting a female wojak character with red hair and a grey shirt.

Wifejak

My New Character meme.

My New Character / Chill Guy