Anon sends a postcard | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>Be me >Uni student depressed 96 KB JPG >Walking to nearby liquor store to numb the pain >Tourist trap store on the way >Sells tacky souvenirs and whatnot >Go in on a whim >Postcard is like f------ 25 cents >Buy one >Wake up next morning with hangover >See postcard >Look up online how to fill it out because who the f--- knows how to fill out a postcard in current year >Fill it out >Send to mom and dad >Just like two banal sentences about how I'm doing ok (a lie) and how I hope they are taking good care of my cat >Like 5 days later >Mom calls me to say how much getting that postcard meant to them >Says it made their entire week >Don't drink myself to sleep that night for the first time in a long time

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Euro anon witnesses superior race | /r/Greentext

M **** GE 9 KB JPG >Be me >Eurofag >Have to go to Chicago for work >Right before leaving, find out I also have to go to some bum f--- town in Indiana >have to go through Gary, IN to get there by train >homeless n----- takes a s--- on the train >expected that on the city metro but not on this train >conductor guy gets p----- and yells, points out they have cameras >homeless n----- says he has nothing to lose >begins crying and s------- his pants more >young n----- gets up and yells "Man you a piece of real s---!" >starts kicking the s--- (no pun intended) out of him >dude was unconscious from East Chicago all the way to Gary >conductor asked what happened >everyone person tells him the homeless guy passed out >young n----- stands there like pic rel while other white trash and n------ dap him up Yo what the f--- America

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anon meets the porn addict gamer | /r/Greentext

>be me in the early 2010s >Leave school to go to my friend's dealers house >Have to pretend to hang out with him and his brother so it wasn't obvious that my friend was just buying s--- (dealers parents still lived with them) >His brother is playing some hentai game with tons of t--- and minimal gameplay on his PC >Ask the dealer why his bro is playing that weird ass game 486 KB PNG >Brother turns around and in a stuttery voice says "I only play good games" >I tell him "the gameplay looks s--- it's just p---' >He says "games are only good if you can masturbate to them" and stops responding to me >Dealer says he's just mentally ill and they're forced to share a room Is he right? Are games only good if you can masturbate to them?

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Japanon critiques races | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/09/13(Wed)05:25 No.7705372 Replies: >>7705394 >>7705398 >>7705406 >>7705476 >>7705524 >>7705545 >>7705579 >>7706318 Black people always criminal India people dirty looks criminal but make good curry South america people looks dirty but not many here. mexico food is good America people is ok, except marine and teacher. Europe people best white people good manners. Russia people is like black but wrong color by accident

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Anon lacks knowledge | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 13 KB JPG 03/01/22(Tue)09:55:30 No.67615267 >money doesnt buy happiness does there exist a bigger cope than this? Anonymous Anonymous >>67615267 (OP) It really doesn't, you can't buy female affection. 03/01/22(Tue)09:56:05 No.67615270 03/01/22(Tue)09:56:18 No.67615274 >>67615270 >you can't buy female affection. anon...

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Anon hates plebbitors | /r/Greentext

Posted by u/capi 2 years ago 892 Lined up all my hot sauce collection on the staircase in my building 162 Comments DANGER Share >>5345311 >>5345315 Save Hide Report 98% Upvoted Anonymous 10/30/21 (Sat)22:43:54 No.5345308 >Be me >Get home from a long day at work >The Redditor in my walkup decides to display his hot sauce collection for the fifth time in three months I hate it

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Anon cracks the code | /r/Greentext

File: 1pepesgls.jpg (33 KB, 600x612) Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)14:52:53 No.71591090 >>71591105 >Be me >Named John >About 1.7 percent of people in america alone are named John >Millions of people have my name >Statistically speaking, at least a few thousand of them have to have had sex with some qt 3.14s >Some of them definitely moaned their name >Basically made hot girls moan for me Later Virgins Anonymous 12/28/22 (Wed)14:54:31 No.71591105 >>71591090 (OP) >tfw named Melvin

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/fit/ watches Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

File: 4E9B9D17-5886-43D8-8F5E-1(...).png (272 KB, 854x480) Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)09:43:55 No.69458588 ► File: 4F17D2EB-E8D2-4CCC-9921-8(...).jpg "There's no such thing as keto! >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)10:40:59 No.69458873 ► >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)10:55:37 No.69458971 ► >>69459015 File: BU-GPRICEAEThon.jpg (91 KB, 599x524) >do you even Leviosa, Dumbelldoor? Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)08:27:30 No.69458090 >>69458193 >>69459082 >>69459393 >You're a Chad, Harry... >A what? >A Chad, and a thumpin good one I'd wager once you've roided up a bit >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)11:01:55 No.69459015 ► File: 5fcxb9j330371.jpg (62 KB, 450x360) Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)08:42:39 No.69458193 >>69458873 File: 42C29A1B-7049-45F2-BBBF-E(...).jpg (120 KB, 1024x421) (28 KB, 1066x480) >>69458971 >get behind me, Harry Squatter. I'll take care of Lord Swoledemort Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)11:06:59 No.69459046 ► File: 788CB1BE-EA30-4254-892A-4().jpg (115 KB, 1629x878) >>69458090 (OP) obligatory >SCARED, POTTER?! 41 >Blimey Harry, you've squatted 500. If you can't get a date, who can? ☐ Anonymous 01/03/23 (Tue)11:10:41 No.69459082 ► >>69459212 >>69459350 File: scaredpotter.jpg (40 KB, 380x491) >>69459082 >you wish Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)11:12:10 No.69459095 ► File: 0645D98D-1AFA-40A7-977F-F(...).jpg (104 KB, 1331x555) >That's not just a barbell, Harry, that's a Liftus 2000! Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)11:28:58 No.69459212 ► File: aBrvVLz_460swp.jpg (94 KB, 460x691) >>69459082 >you shall NOT harm Harry Potter >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)11:51:22 No.69459350 ► File: 960za7ponjg21.png (330 KB, 458x595) >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)11:52:46 No.69459354 ► File: 27C53BE3-8D7C-4B55-B8CC-0(...).jpg (843 KB, 1874x2272) room! Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:00:13 No.69459393 ► >>69458090 (OP) >sirus gains has escaped from the manlet pit! >"Hungry, Severus?" >"Always" >Anything's possible if you've got enough roids Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:00:37 No.69459397 >>69459429 >>69459552 File: 51b59067bec0548534242e567(...).jpg (14 KB, 166x213) C >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:06:33 No.69459429 ► >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:10:05 No.69459448► >>69459511 File: 2kgo20.jpg (115 KB, 990x600) CURLS!!! CURLS IN THE SQUAT RACK!!! Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:12:12 No.69459456 ► >>69459552 File: 51b59067bec0548534242e567(...).jpg (14 KB, 164x212) >"No more tendies?" >my father WILL hear about this >>69459511 >we'll take the lot! Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:24:08 No.69459513 ► >>69459511 3 plates please Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:23:26 No.69459511 ► >>69459513 >>69459538 >>69459448 >Anything off the squat rack, dears? >>69459545 >What? I'm hungry >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:27:12 No.69459538 ► >>69459545 >>69459552 File: 51b59067bec0548534242e567(...).jpg (12 KB, 172x203) >>69458090 (OP) >Twinks in the locker room! >There's twinks in the locker >>69459538 >do you EVER stop eating? >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:28:18 No.69459545 ► >>69459551 >>69459552 File: 51b59067bec0548534242e567(...).jpg (15 KB, 165x213) >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:29:30 No.69459551 ► File: 51b59067bec0548534242e567(...).jpg (11 KB, 165x213)

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Anon has a chance of not becoming a wizard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 2.06 MB GIF 01/02/23 (Mon)23:32:30 No.71669694 >Be me >2 years from wizard >Tinder and Bumble >nada >OkCupid >match with girls in SEA >most of them can't really hold a or just ghost after a few messages conversation >don't really know what to do with them >whatever >match cute shy nerd >open with nerd stuff >she's glad I wanted to talk about nerd stuff >eventually move to whatsapp >been talking about various things for several days >text for hours a day >only talk about innocuous things >haven't really talked about relationship or anything similar >don't want to freak her by coming out and saying I want a serious relationship >have no idea how to progress beyond chatting about random bs I know this is a terrible place to ask, but any advice on what I can do to go further without spiling my spaghetti and scaring her away?

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Anon took the v pill | /r/Greentext

Anonymous B 73 KB PNG 07/16/22(Sat)17:27:46 No.882132533 >have a s----- lonely life >will never have friends, a girlfriend, a good happy life >one day dream about having a girlfriend >she is extremely cute, after i wake up, i am both happy from the dream and sad that its over >i start dreaming about her or other girls in the next nights >also dream that i have a lot of friends, cool cars, yachts, even superpowers >start meditating before sleeping to influence my dreams >learn lucid dreaming to improve it >after a few months, i became a true dream director >i can now create my own reality in my dreams >spend up to 16 hours sleeping >at this point, my real life feels like a nightmare and my dreams like the life i deserve why havent you taken the dream pill yet anons?

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Femanon seeks attention | /r/Greentext

Anonymous i hate myself. i wish i wasnt (...) 329 KB PNG 01/02/23(Mon)23:38:42 No.71669755 >be me, autistic fembot until last week when e-bf took my virginity >he only lives 2 hours away >his best friend lives in my city >we met up before i met e-bf >have a lot of fun but hes so flirty that even i could tell >gets my number >day after me and e-bf f--- his best friend talks to me about sex stuff for a few hours >acts very forward but i enjoy a lot for some reason >he meets me in public and we make out >he gropes me and i give in >dont f--- but send him nudes idk what to do. i dont want to cheat on my bf and i dont want to hurt him. his friend can blackmail me with my nudes and force me to f--- him. i hate myself for playing into his hands. i think its the autism. i cant stand up for myself or understand social situations. im easily manipulated but my bf is so sweet and now im gonna hurt him.

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Anon gets a lot of money | /r/Greentext

Anonymous scambuxx 239 KB PNG 01/02/23 (Mon)23:52:32 No.71669884 >childhood friends brother is ultimate scammer >ended up gigarich with penthouse and exotic cars >gave my friend more money he can spend, bought him his own apartment, car, paid off college tuition and thousands for spending money >am his closest friend and he insisted I buy stuff as well >resisted at first because it felt wrong but he kept insisting so I caved in >got ultimate setup, ebike, designer clothes, latest tech, expensive gifts for my parents >went on trip and lost virginity to hookers, f----- multiple for a week straight. Best use of friends money so far >family kept asking where I get all this money from since I dont work and go to school >keep telling them its from online giveaways, I got them dirt cheap used, clothes are all fakes, friend works and gifted it to me >dont know how long I can play this off >in person classes start after Covid break >second year college and my classmates see a completely different lifestyle change >commute to class on ebike, use all the newest tech products to take s----- class notes, dripped out in low key designer clothes only a few people would recognize, get Uber eats every lunch >everyone is so surprised >I feel very uncomfortable, am so used to all these things that I dont notice how lavishly im living compared to my previous lifestyle >people think i have gigarich parents >I feel so fake, people judge me at face value Did I just get a taste in how rich people feel? Should I continue with this and not care what my college friends think? I dont want to tell them my friends brother scams everything. Never expected this lifestyle change, what do?

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Anon plays nofap game | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous midnight coom control 262 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)23:05:14 No.71669434 >alone on 2021 nye >coomer brain came up with idea to try to coom exactly at midnight >coom almost on time, was fun >2022 nye have same idea but with a twist >make it so that for each second Im before or after midnight I wont fap those number of days >coom right at midnight like the pro degen I am >Jan 1 midnight coom 17 seconds early >amfucked.jpg >day 1/17 of trying not to coom and cant seem to make it >give me strength r9k

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