Anon discovers tipping culture | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous (ID: mGrGJx0Y) 08/26/15(Wed)12:34:55 No. 50418020 File: Monkey.jpg (882 KB, 2560x1440) >Go to America >sit down for a burger >eat burger >waitress comes over and gives me the bill >I place some money on top of the bill >she's still stood there, drool leaking out of her mouth >"S---, I forgot you have to tip" >pay an extra few dollars >"Th-Thanks for the good service" I say >she looks down >"Gee thanks for the good tip, here's a tip" >hands me some money back >"Uh... Ok" >I get up to leave >a giant greasy hand grabs my shirt >I feel paper being stuffed into my pocket >it's the guy who sat at the table next to me >"Here's your tip for being a good customer" >"Ok..." >As I go to open the door to leave a family comes in >The father holds the door open for me >"Thank you" I say as I go to walk past him >his extends his open hand and coughs >take the greasy dollar out of my pocket that the random guy gave me >he just looks at it and lets go of the door >"Only a dollar? F------ tourists" >everyone in the restaurant starts staring at me and whispering "cheap scum" >hurry out the door >get shot immediately as I leave >it's a police officer >"Sorry sir, I thought you were black" >ambulance arrives >>50418103 >>50418206 >I have no money to tip them >they just give me a blank stare >"f------ really?" says one of the paramedics as he begins to pack his equipment away >they leave me at the side of the road >get a ticket from a police officer for making a mess on the floor with my blood >he gives me another one because I didn't tip him for the first ticket At least the burger was nice anyway.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon remembers the 1st black President | /r/Greentext

File: first black president.jpg (11 KB, 480x360) Anonymous (ID: towIdaty Reply] 02/06/18(Tue) 23:25:28 No.159548327 >played jazz sax >could reliably hoop a free throw >ordered fried chicken on every Airforce One flight >almost lost his job over some phat white ass Was Bill Clinton the first black president?

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Zoomer anon discovers classical music | /r/Greentext

Anonymous npc music consoomer 1.37 MB JPG 01/03/23(Tue)12:37:24 No.71676442 >uncultured normiefag always listening to whatever music is popular >rare occasion people ask what I listen to and I say no music only podcastmaxxing since I know theyll judge me for my lack of taste >zoomer me passing the national arts Center on my escooter before I get a haircut >see cool painting of old dude on art Center billboard >use Google lens to identify artist >get haircut, go home, plug in escooter to charge overnight, coom to degen p--- and then listen to identified artist >turns out I like it a lot >Messiah by George Fredric Handel >National orchestra playing one of his symphonies next week at arts Center >see student price is only $15 for any seat so poorfags like me can go >amazed by the discount, get $180 front balcony seats for price of a haircut >listen to his music and some other classical composers before I attend, learn about history and types of classical music briefly as well >s---, shave, shower while listing to sum moar classical bangers on my Google homes throughout my apartment >go to show, enjoy it a lot, mostly old (rich) people but had great seat and booked 3 more shows during intermission >go home, coom to p--- parodies of Mozart f------ some femoids, start making playlist of iconic works >fall down deep rabbithole on YouTube and read ebook on the definitive history of classical and baroque music >see Spotify listening stats on spreadsheet and amazed how far Ive c-- in so little time Zoomers why arnt you classical musicmaxxing yet?

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Anon sends a postcard | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Uni student depressed 96 KB JPG >Walking to nearby liquor store to numb the pain >Tourist trap store on the way >Sells tacky souvenirs and whatnot >Go in on a whim >Postcard is like f------ 25 cents >Buy one >Wake up next morning with hangover >See postcard >Look up online how to fill it out because who the f--- knows how to fill out a postcard in current year >Fill it out >Send to mom and dad >Just like two banal sentences about how I'm doing ok (a lie) and how I hope they are taking good care of my cat >Like 5 days later >Mom calls me to say how much getting that postcard meant to them >Says it made their entire week >Don't drink myself to sleep that night for the first time in a long time

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Euro anon witnesses superior race | /r/Greentext

M **** GE 9 KB JPG >Be me >Eurofag >Have to go to Chicago for work >Right before leaving, find out I also have to go to some bum f--- town in Indiana >have to go through Gary, IN to get there by train >homeless n----- takes a s--- on the train >expected that on the city metro but not on this train >conductor guy gets p----- and yells, points out they have cameras >homeless n----- says he has nothing to lose >begins crying and s------- his pants more >young n----- gets up and yells "Man you a piece of real s---!" >starts kicking the s--- (no pun intended) out of him >dude was unconscious from East Chicago all the way to Gary >conductor asked what happened >everyone person tells him the homeless guy passed out >young n----- stands there like pic rel while other white trash and n------ dap him up Yo what the f--- America

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anon meets the porn addict gamer | /r/Greentext

>be me in the early 2010s >Leave school to go to my friend's dealers house >Have to pretend to hang out with him and his brother so it wasn't obvious that my friend was just buying s--- (dealers parents still lived with them) >His brother is playing some hentai game with tons of t--- and minimal gameplay on his PC >Ask the dealer why his bro is playing that weird ass game 486 KB PNG >Brother turns around and in a stuttery voice says "I only play good games" >I tell him "the gameplay looks s--- it's just p---' >He says "games are only good if you can masturbate to them" and stops responding to me >Dealer says he's just mentally ill and they're forced to share a room Is he right? Are games only good if you can masturbate to them?

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Japanon critiques races | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/09/13(Wed)05:25 No.7705372 Replies: >>7705394 >>7705398 >>7705406 >>7705476 >>7705524 >>7705545 >>7705579 >>7706318 Black people always criminal India people dirty looks criminal but make good curry South america people looks dirty but not many here. mexico food is good America people is ok, except marine and teacher. Europe people best white people good manners. Russia people is like black but wrong color by accident

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Anon lacks knowledge | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 13 KB JPG 03/01/22(Tue)09:55:30 No.67615267 >money doesnt buy happiness does there exist a bigger cope than this? Anonymous Anonymous >>67615267 (OP) It really doesn't, you can't buy female affection. 03/01/22(Tue)09:56:05 No.67615270 03/01/22(Tue)09:56:18 No.67615274 >>67615270 >you can't buy female affection. anon...

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Anon hates plebbitors | /r/Greentext

Posted by u/capi 2 years ago 892 Lined up all my hot sauce collection on the staircase in my building 162 Comments DANGER Share >>5345311 >>5345315 Save Hide Report 98% Upvoted Anonymous 10/30/21 (Sat)22:43:54 No.5345308 >Be me >Get home from a long day at work >The Redditor in my walkup decides to display his hot sauce collection for the fifth time in three months I hate it

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Anon cracks the code | /r/Greentext

File: 1pepesgls.jpg (33 KB, 600x612) Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)14:52:53 No.71591090 >>71591105 >Be me >Named John >About 1.7 percent of people in america alone are named John >Millions of people have my name >Statistically speaking, at least a few thousand of them have to have had sex with some qt 3.14s >Some of them definitely moaned their name >Basically made hot girls moan for me Later Virgins Anonymous 12/28/22 (Wed)14:54:31 No.71591105 >>71591090 (OP) >tfw named Melvin

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/fit/ watches Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

File: 4E9B9D17-5886-43D8-8F5E-1(...).png (272 KB, 854x480) Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)09:43:55 No.69458588 ► File: 4F17D2EB-E8D2-4CCC-9921-8(...).jpg "There's no such thing as keto! >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)10:40:59 No.69458873 ► >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)10:55:37 No.69458971 ► >>69459015 File: BU-GPRICEAEThon.jpg (91 KB, 599x524) >do you even Leviosa, Dumbelldoor? Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)08:27:30 No.69458090 >>69458193 >>69459082 >>69459393 >You're a Chad, Harry... >A what? >A Chad, and a thumpin good one I'd wager once you've roided up a bit >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)11:01:55 No.69459015 ► File: 5fcxb9j330371.jpg (62 KB, 450x360) Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)08:42:39 No.69458193 >>69458873 File: 42C29A1B-7049-45F2-BBBF-E(...).jpg (120 KB, 1024x421) (28 KB, 1066x480) >>69458971 >get behind me, Harry Squatter. I'll take care of Lord Swoledemort Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)11:06:59 No.69459046 ► File: 788CB1BE-EA30-4254-892A-4().jpg (115 KB, 1629x878) >>69458090 (OP) obligatory >SCARED, POTTER?! 41 >Blimey Harry, you've squatted 500. If you can't get a date, who can? ☐ Anonymous 01/03/23 (Tue)11:10:41 No.69459082 ► >>69459212 >>69459350 File: scaredpotter.jpg (40 KB, 380x491) >>69459082 >you wish Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)11:12:10 No.69459095 ► File: 0645D98D-1AFA-40A7-977F-F(...).jpg (104 KB, 1331x555) >That's not just a barbell, Harry, that's a Liftus 2000! Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)11:28:58 No.69459212 ► File: aBrvVLz_460swp.jpg (94 KB, 460x691) >>69459082 >you shall NOT harm Harry Potter >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)11:51:22 No.69459350 ► File: 960za7ponjg21.png (330 KB, 458x595) >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)11:52:46 No.69459354 ► File: 27C53BE3-8D7C-4B55-B8CC-0(...).jpg (843 KB, 1874x2272) room! Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:00:13 No.69459393 ► >>69458090 (OP) >sirus gains has escaped from the manlet pit! >"Hungry, Severus?" >"Always" >Anything's possible if you've got enough roids Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:00:37 No.69459397 >>69459429 >>69459552 File: 51b59067bec0548534242e567(...).jpg (14 KB, 166x213) C >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:06:33 No.69459429 ► >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:10:05 No.69459448► >>69459511 File: 2kgo20.jpg (115 KB, 990x600) CURLS!!! CURLS IN THE SQUAT RACK!!! Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:12:12 No.69459456 ► >>69459552 File: 51b59067bec0548534242e567(...).jpg (14 KB, 164x212) >"No more tendies?" >my father WILL hear about this >>69459511 >we'll take the lot! Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:24:08 No.69459513 ► >>69459511 3 plates please Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:23:26 No.69459511 ► >>69459513 >>69459538 >>69459448 >Anything off the squat rack, dears? >>69459545 >What? I'm hungry >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:27:12 No.69459538 ► >>69459545 >>69459552 File: 51b59067bec0548534242e567(...).jpg (12 KB, 172x203) >>69458090 (OP) >Twinks in the locker room! >There's twinks in the locker >>69459538 >do you EVER stop eating? >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:28:18 No.69459545 ► >>69459551 >>69459552 File: 51b59067bec0548534242e567(...).jpg (15 KB, 165x213) >> Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)12:29:30 No.69459551 ► File: 51b59067bec0548534242e567(...).jpg (11 KB, 165x213)

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Anon has a chance of not becoming a wizard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 2.06 MB GIF 01/02/23 (Mon)23:32:30 No.71669694 >Be me >2 years from wizard >Tinder and Bumble >nada >OkCupid >match with girls in SEA >most of them can't really hold a or just ghost after a few messages conversation >don't really know what to do with them >whatever >match cute shy nerd >open with nerd stuff >she's glad I wanted to talk about nerd stuff >eventually move to whatsapp >been talking about various things for several days >text for hours a day >only talk about innocuous things >haven't really talked about relationship or anything similar >don't want to freak her by coming out and saying I want a serious relationship >have no idea how to progress beyond chatting about random bs I know this is a terrible place to ask, but any advice on what I can do to go further without spiling my spaghetti and scaring her away?

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Anon took the v pill | /r/Greentext

Anonymous B 73 KB PNG 07/16/22(Sat)17:27:46 No.882132533 >have a s----- lonely life >will never have friends, a girlfriend, a good happy life >one day dream about having a girlfriend >she is extremely cute, after i wake up, i am both happy from the dream and sad that its over >i start dreaming about her or other girls in the next nights >also dream that i have a lot of friends, cool cars, yachts, even superpowers >start meditating before sleeping to influence my dreams >learn lucid dreaming to improve it >after a few months, i became a true dream director >i can now create my own reality in my dreams >spend up to 16 hours sleeping >at this point, my real life feels like a nightmare and my dreams like the life i deserve why havent you taken the dream pill yet anons?

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