Anon gets advice from Jeffrey Dahmer | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous I need answer quick I've captured his soul 554 KB JPG 6 Replies 12/16/22(Fri)21:59:54 No.27928575 Girl on tinder just said she wanted to cuddle with me at my home but I can't invite her over rn because of guests what do I do? Do i say a hotel or something w-- i never actually thought this far oh f--- im freaking out what do i do View Thread 12/16/22(Fri)22:04:27 No.27928602 : Anonymous >>27928575 (OP) # Kill your guests. Invite her to your house. Kill her.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anon uhhhhhhhh | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/16/22 (Fri)20:00:38 No.71421368 ▶ >>71421399 File: 1643952057811.png (996 KB, 978x1019) >the girl you're kissing might have eaten ass at some point in her life □ Anonymous 12/16/22(Fri)20:04:40 No.71421399 ► >>71421610 >>71421368 >the girl you're kissing has taken enough s---- in her lifetime to chisel multiple sculptures of you out of poo Anonymous 12/16/22 (Fri)20:28:56 No.71421610 ► >>71421399 >and she might have done that and kissed them too

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piggy bank | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/17/22(Sat)07:10:01 No.8280409 retarded s--- you love in video games I'll start added to inventory >play rpg >kill boar >loot it >boar meat, five coins and a dagger

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anon wishes life was like The Sims | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/17/22(Sat)02:49:42 No.8277382 >meet >shake hand >compliment >compliment >tell a joke >tell a joke >tell a joke >high five >tickle >whisper sweet nothings >hug >hug >kiss hand >kiss hand >kiss cheek >kiss cheek >slap buttcheek >slap buttcheek >slap buttcheek >passionate kiss >passionate kiss >woohoo >all this done in one afternoon why is it not this simple in real life ?

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anon sees booba for the first time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/16/22(Fri)12:28:31 No.890855825 >random summer >be 13 >go over to friend's place >he is 12 >he really wants to play FIFA 08 >I dont >ok make a bet, stand on one leg, the one who lasts longer wins >ok friendo >im about to win, friend is losing balance >his sister in the background watching us >she is 17 >pulls up her tank top to flash her t--- and winks at me (friend didnt see it because she was behind his back) >immediately lose balance and fall like a sack of potato >you ok, Anon? >mfw >had to play FIFA all afternoon >still worth it

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A life fit for a king | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG >Wake up >Get Burger King for breakfast >Get to work >S--- myself >Go home 12/16/22(Fri) 14:42:12 No.890861302 >Sleep >Do it all over again Is this all there is to life? : Anonymous >>890861302 (OP) # No. There's always McDonalds breakfast, better than Bk anyways. Anonymous >>890861302 (OP) # What is your job? 12/16/22(Fri)14:44:25 No.890861396 Anonymous >>890861302 (OP) # >S--- myself You understand big boys go to the bathroom right? 12/16/22(Fri)14:51:39 No.890861741 12/16/22(Fri) 14:53:52 No.890861838 12/16/22 (Fri)15:02:45 No.890862201 : Anonymous >>890861302 (OP) # >>Get Burger King for breakfast Americans were a mistake

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This is getting quite silly | /r/Greentext

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The Return of The Shit Post King | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >Be me, bored Anon >Decide to create Reddit account dedicated to shitposting greentexts >Call myself the Green TextKing >Amass 450k of karma >It was almost all fake and gay >Thought it was funny to make a Reddit user whose entire identity is shitposting greentexts. >The only real s--- was my tard wrangler stories. >Only identifying details for operational security. Can't lose normie job. I have to be able to afford my KING 12/16/22(Fri)11:22:39 No.890853539 577 KB PNG degenerate life of s--- tier chicken wings and beer >Decide to come back because I still have tard wrangler stories to tell >Be me, 30 year old tard wrangler and prolific s--- poster

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Anon notices a mistake | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 45 KB JPG 12/14/22(Wed)23:29:21 No.177907579 ITT: inaccurate movie details that make the film unwatchable >at 50:35 in "It" (2017) a LEGO model with lime parts is dropped. 2x2 slopes in lime were not released until 2010. "It" is set in 1989.

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father and daughter bonding | /r/Greentext

[Advertise on 4chan] [Index] [Catalog] [Bottom] 1382221398559.jpg (85 KB, 612x612) google yandex iqdb wait Imagine the following Anonymous 12/15/22(Thu)19:19:16 No.28774584 >be mtf >you come out to parents >your mom is completely unaccepting, misgenders you all the time >figure it's just typical boomershit and shrug it off >one day, during a particularly heated argument, she snaps >"why are you throwing away your perfectly good body? I would f------ kill to be a man" >she freezes, realizing what she just admitted to How do you respond?

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Anon doesnt understand women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/16/22(Fri)09:36:22 No.71421148 132 KB PNG >Be me >See girl I know carrying her cat, Nook >"Hi Anon. I was just at vet, Nook was getting big so I wanted to see what was wrong." Nook is fat as f--- and looks high >"Anon, can you believe it? They charged me $100 just for a check up and some test! In the end the vet just told me nothing was wrong with Nook. He was just fat and needed to lose weight." I laugh >"You should taken the cat to me. I would have told you the same thing but for free!" Laugh more >Girl gets upset and storms off >Doesnt speak to me for months Why are women like this?

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He probably lost all his bank along with gamestop stocks | /r/Greentext

File: 1395093168358.png-(305 KB, 495x470, 1394387815629.png) First National Bank of Gamestop Anonymous 03/17/14(Mon)14:52 UTC-7 No.235956257 Replies: >>235956687 >>235956926 >>235956992 >>235957246 Does anyone else use Gamestop as a bank? I got really p----- off with US Bank because I kept overdrafting my account even though I opted out, and the same thing happened with my credit union when I got a debit card. Now whenever I get paid I go preorder a whole shitload of games. Whenever I need money, I go to the nearest gamestop and ask for my money back on a game I don't want and make a withdrawal. The lines are shorter at gamestop than at the bank and I can trade in old games and have money go straight to my savings account. Gamestops are just as prevalent as banks in my town and I work at a mall so it's even more convenient than running an errand to the bank or using an ATM and getting charged. The gamestop people are starting to catch on that I'm just moving money around and only buying one preordered game a year, if that, but there isn't s--- they can do about it. The best part is, since I always preorder every game coming out I'm still guaranteed to get all the exclusive content whether or not I'm sure I want a certain game. It's like they're rewarding me for banking with them. Anonymous 03/17/14(Mon)14:56 UTC-7 No.235956687 Replies: >>235957157 >>235956257 (OP) I can't decide if you're retarded or brilliant.

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Anon impresses his female coworker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 410 KB PNG 12/15/22(Thu)08:57:23 >Be me, wage cuck at office job >Mostly work with women but theyre all old >Get s--- on because I'm bottom of the ladder, but work harder than anyone else. >New employee shows up >She's a qt and around my age No.71407948 >Im made to show her the ropes H-------- this is my chance. >We start chating and shooting the s--- >Politics is brought up F--- dont screw this up >Mention something stupid about how most politicans are great at lying. >"Oh so you read the papers too, Anon?" >"Uh-h, yeah sure" She's visibly impressed Turns out the mayor was caught doing some illegal s--- and caught lying about it. Qt girl is big into politics and reads the papers religiously. She now thinks I'm an intellectual like her. Despite me really being a black pilled wage cuck. I dont know how long I can keep the charade up.

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