Anon doesnt understand women | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 12/16/22(Fri)09:36:22 No.71421148 132 KB PNG >Be me >See girl I know carrying her cat, Nook >"Hi Anon. I was just at vet, Nook was getting big so I wanted to see what was wrong." Nook is fat as f--- and looks high >"Anon, can you believe it? They charged me $100 just for a check up and some test! In the end the vet just told me nothing was wrong with Nook. He was just fat and needed to lose weight." I laugh >"You should taken the cat to me. I would have told you the same thing but for free!" Laugh more >Girl gets upset and storms off >Doesnt speak to me for months Why are women like this?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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He probably lost all his bank along with gamestop stocks | /r/Greentext

File: 1395093168358.png-(305 KB, 495x470, 1394387815629.png) First National Bank of Gamestop Anonymous 03/17/14(Mon)14:52 UTC-7 No.235956257 Replies: >>235956687 >>235956926 >>235956992 >>235957246 Does anyone else use Gamestop as a bank? I got really p----- off with US Bank because I kept overdrafting my account even though I opted out, and the same thing happened with my credit union when I got a debit card. Now whenever I get paid I go preorder a whole shitload of games. Whenever I need money, I go to the nearest gamestop and ask for my money back on a game I don't want and make a withdrawal. The lines are shorter at gamestop than at the bank and I can trade in old games and have money go straight to my savings account. Gamestops are just as prevalent as banks in my town and I work at a mall so it's even more convenient than running an errand to the bank or using an ATM and getting charged. The gamestop people are starting to catch on that I'm just moving money around and only buying one preordered game a year, if that, but there isn't s--- they can do about it. The best part is, since I always preorder every game coming out I'm still guaranteed to get all the exclusive content whether or not I'm sure I want a certain game. It's like they're rewarding me for banking with them. Anonymous 03/17/14(Mon)14:56 UTC-7 No.235956687 Replies: >>235957157 >>235956257 (OP) I can't decide if you're retarded or brilliant.

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Anon impresses his female coworker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 410 KB PNG 12/15/22(Thu)08:57:23 >Be me, wage cuck at office job >Mostly work with women but theyre all old >Get s--- on because I'm bottom of the ladder, but work harder than anyone else. >New employee shows up >She's a qt and around my age No.71407948 >Im made to show her the ropes H-------- this is my chance. >We start chating and shooting the s--- >Politics is brought up F--- dont screw this up >Mention something stupid about how most politicans are great at lying. >"Oh so you read the papers too, Anon?" >"Uh-h, yeah sure" She's visibly impressed Turns out the mayor was caught doing some illegal s--- and caught lying about it. Qt girl is big into politics and reads the papers religiously. She now thinks I'm an intellectual like her. Despite me really being a black pilled wage cuck. I dont know how long I can keep the charade up.

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Anon preaches fat acceptance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 95 KB JPG 12/16/22(Fri)13:47:55 No.621374951 >tfw you realize Big Smoke's Cluckin' Bell order really wasn't that large since he's also ordering for CJ, Ryder and Sweet

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Anon is a femboy | /r/Greentext

File: flat,800x800,075,f.jpg (44 KB, 550x452) haha weed Anonymous 12/16/22(Fri)03:18:44 No.28777596 oh yeah i dun f----- up good this time >be me, male, 20 >bi as hell and massive femboy >have a cute bear bf who's a whole generation older than me (it's important later trust) >a few hours ago >done with school so decide to take a weed edible to celebrate >get on and play games with my bf and the crew >oshit.jpg the high's kickin in >kinda took a bit too much but idk because high sex is f------ amazing >seduce the bf with some cute fem clothes, probably fumble awkwardly over words cause i'm f------ stoned >riding, letsafuckingo.wav >randomly remember that one audio clip of the girl saying "f--- my ass and call me obama" >start giggling uncontrollably >bf slaps my ass and goes "what's so funny huh?" >i literally cannot stop myself >as loud as i can i moan >"F--- MY ASS AND CALL ME OBAMA~" >pure horror on the bf's face >he literally GRABS me to stop me and is like anon w-- did you just say >i am dying laughing >he plops me down on the bed and leaves the bedroom welp that was fun while it lasted

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Anons took the redpill about Star Wars | /r/Greentext

They fight for kids cutting their genitals and having sex with aliens Star Wars in a nutshell Anonymous 12/15/22(Thu)11:10:16 No.177913773 ► >>177914014>>177914082 >>177914246 >>177914258 >>177914281 >>177914430 >>17791443 How can you be unironically anti-Empire? Anonymous 12/15/22(Thu)12:21:13 No. 177915079 ► File: Cw1LxcxXgAAA-fX.jpg (74 KB, 624x391) >Driving home from work >Some fat balding neckbeard soiboy in front of me has a Resistance decal from the new movies on his back windshield >"Die, Rebel SCUM!" >He looks visibly hurt >I laugh >Pull up next to him at the light >Give him the finger with my Darth Vader watch clearly visible >Light turns green >Peel out and drive off Rebelfags suck cocks Anonymous 12/15/22(Thu)12:55:46 No.177915722 ► >>177922183 >>177914082 >>177918328 They fight for kids having a secure youth and becoming good human parents/citizens in the future >>177914014 >George Lucas was a hippie >he said since day 1 that Str Wars a critic of Nixon/Reagan's America >"Hollywood is run by white slavers" - George Lucas, this century >he literally support the SJW narrative of Disney's Star Wars >Star Wars is still producing content today ☐ Anonymous 12/15/22(Thu)14:55:11 No.177918486 ► >>177920551 >yuuzhan vong exists >Palp created the definitive army to protect the Galaxy >Mon Mothma and her New Republic (of Weimar in Space) dismantle the army and big guns >yuuzhan vong destroy 80% of the Galaxy >women ruin everything >Disney decanonised yuuzhan vong >realised that now they have a cartoon villain >recanonised yuuzhan vong as grysk hegemony, so the Empire doesn't look retard cartoonish af Palp, the Ultimate Patriot.

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is this really it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/22(Wed)10:05:49 No.69038492 FC22C99A-3FC7-41 CA-954C-D6C0D11D912B.jpg >wake up >work >work out >go home >eat >go to bed is this really it 158 KB JPG

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Anon wants the clussy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/16/20(Wed)13:41:04 No.842420881 >be me >dating a clown bitch >ask her if shes horny >she honks her nose once for yes >go to bedroom 34 KB JPG >realize i am out of condoms >mfw she ties my d--- into a balloon animal so we don't have to worry about making any little circus freaks clown poon is best poon. Anonymous God I wish I could f--- clown girls. 12/16/20(Wed)13:42:42 No.842420977 : Anonymous >>842420881 (OP) # Tfw you will never have a clown gf that blows your d--- 4 ft long and wraps it into a giraffe 12/16/20(Wed)13:44:06 No.842421074

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anon is a refrigerator | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 375 KB PNG : Anonymous >>71281967 (OP) # >built like a fridge kek >>71282013 # 12/06/22(Tue)14:27:04 No.71281967 >6'2, built like a fridge >All my fantasies revolve around crossdressing, being feminized and cosplaying as my favorite anime girls men. >>71282013 # 12/06/22(Tue)14:29:11 No.71281980 : Anonymous >>71281967 (OP) # Why is it so often like this? 12/06/22(Tue)14:29:23 No.71281982 I think women, especially female teachers, target their emasculation efforts on masculine-looking boys and 12/06/22(Tue) 14:34:03 No.71282013 : Anonymous >>71281980 # I mean that my body is absolutely NOT built to look anywhere close to a femoids. >>71281982 # I've lived my entire 22 years of life in a s----- eastern european small town. I definitely wasn't groomed to be this way.

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Bats out of hell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2.4 MB JPG 12/15/22(Thu)20:33:59 No.71416679 >Buy a house in the suburbs >Build an around 30 foot tall hygieostatic bat roost, kinda like pic related >Put a flagpole on top flying a "Defund the HOA" flag illuminated by lamps at night >When the local HOA does get p-----, they can't do s--- about it because several species of bats are federally protected plus I can say it's natural pest control Thoughts? I also have plans on planting giant sequoia saplings in people's yards because, like bats, they are protected by law so the HOA and the homeowner watches over the years as a tree they can't remove slowly starts destroying their house. I just love the idea of being the radical environmentalist version of Bonnie and Clyde, going around pissing off HOAs across the country

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Anon's gf is Windows 10 voice assistant | /r/Greentext

Anonymous D 148 KB PNG 03/23/18(Fri)05:09:11 No.440737 >sister's wedding is tomorrow >I got a +1 >my mom suggested I bring Cortana >she doesn't realize I talk to my pc- >mfw I need to pay an escort six hundred dollars to pretend her name is Cortana tomorrow 3 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Anon can teach English | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>69272480 (OP) # "workout" is a noun; you mean "work out". "everyday" is an adjective; you mean "every day". >>69273960 # : Anonymous 12/16/22(Fri)08:48:52 No.69273527 >>69273527 # Yourmom 12/16/22(Fri)10:16:09 No.69273960

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Anon describes utopian society | /r/Greentext

Open (Hide). Anon (74 minutes ago) ID: 878443 No. 351005 [Reply] >>351012 >the year is 2040 >marriage rates are at 10% >the birth rate is at a crippling .06 >the government snaps and enacts state-mandated marriage >men en masse "come out" as gay as marriage rates sky rocket amongst a seemingly exponentially increasing gay community >government can't do anything about it because that would violate their own progressive laws and morals >women everywhere crack and claim that these men aren't real gays >men retaliate and claim that they are the targets of hate speech >the women are thrown into prison for harmful and discriminatory speech

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