Bats out of hell | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 2.4 MB JPG 12/15/22(Thu)20:33:59 No.71416679 >Buy a house in the suburbs >Build an around 30 foot tall hygieostatic bat roost, kinda like pic related >Put a flagpole on top flying a "Defund the HOA" flag illuminated by lamps at night >When the local HOA does get p-----, they can't do s--- about it because several species of bats are federally protected plus I can say it's natural pest control Thoughts? I also have plans on planting giant sequoia saplings in people's yards because, like bats, they are protected by law so the HOA and the homeowner watches over the years as a tree they can't remove slowly starts destroying their house. I just love the idea of being the radical environmentalist version of Bonnie and Clyde, going around pissing off HOAs across the country

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon's gf is Windows 10 voice assistant | /r/Greentext

Anonymous D 148 KB PNG 03/23/18(Fri)05:09:11 No.440737 >sister's wedding is tomorrow >I got a +1 >my mom suggested I bring Cortana >she doesn't realize I talk to my pc- >mfw I need to pay an escort six hundred dollars to pretend her name is Cortana tomorrow 3 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Anon can teach English | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>69272480 (OP) # "workout" is a noun; you mean "work out". "everyday" is an adjective; you mean "every day". >>69273960 # : Anonymous 12/16/22(Fri)08:48:52 No.69273527 >>69273527 # Yourmom 12/16/22(Fri)10:16:09 No.69273960

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Anon describes utopian society | /r/Greentext

Open (Hide). Anon (74 minutes ago) ID: 878443 No. 351005 [Reply] >>351012 >the year is 2040 >marriage rates are at 10% >the birth rate is at a crippling .06 >the government snaps and enacts state-mandated marriage >men en masse "come out" as gay as marriage rates sky rocket amongst a seemingly exponentially increasing gay community >government can't do anything about it because that would violate their own progressive laws and morals >women everywhere crack and claim that these men aren't real gays >men retaliate and claim that they are the targets of hate speech >the women are thrown into prison for harmful and discriminatory speech

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Anon is a prison guard | /r/Greentext

File: 8be2372cae201c58b2195adee(...).jpg (99 KB, 800x800) Police Anonymous 12/15/22(Thu)17:52:26 No.890821934 >Be Me >Prison Guard >Assigned to solitary patrol for the week. It's pretty bad in there. Prisoners who are absolutely broken mentally >New arrival comes in. >Was apparently arrested after attempting (and failing) to hack into the servers of some indie game studio >Was also caught browsing some degenerate forums. >I check on him to see how he's holding up. He's sleeping. >Next day, I check in on him, he's sleeping. >All he does is sleep, he gets up, eats like s---, stares at the wall, and goes to sleep. >Ask him what he's doing. >He's "schizomaxxing"

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Anon loves himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 130 KB JPG | 12/15/22(Thu)18:27:42 No.69269732 >be me >jaw is weak >double chin >poor neck posture >unsatisfied >start doing facial exercises >jawline improves massively in less than a week >proud of self >love self now I just gotta work on my grip : Anonymous : Anonymous I got weak jew and a sharp anglo-goblin chin. Been chewing s--- up like a dog made a little bit of gains. my grip isnt that bad but my wrists are weak and prone to snapping. If anyone has a lift for wrists/forearms that actually causes some sore muscles im listening. 12/15/22(Thu)18:31:13 No.69269768 12/15/22(Thu)18:40:00 No.69269847 12/15/22(Thu)18:45:26 No.69269892 : Anonymous >>69269732 (OP) # >now I just gotta work on my grip I'm sure your boyfriend will appreciate it.

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Title here | /r/Greentext

>At classroom before exams >"Wow Anon did you study for this exam?!" >Uhm...yes? >"Wow because I didn't study anything I'm so screwed lol" >Scores at least 85/100 Why are some smart people like that?

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Rare Pepe Indeed | /r/Greentext

165 KB JPG >be mw

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anon expresses his annoyance with video game video essay title templates | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/22(Thu)20:35:20 No.621252678 ► File: F51E7E44-6DB3-4406-BF69-9(...).jpg (13 KB, 232x217) >The downfall >The rise and fall >The excellent of >xxxx one year later >Is x still worth playing? >ACTUAL R----- reacts to r--- scenes

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anon is lonely | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.98 MB PNG 5 Replies / 1 Image >>71418398 # Anonymous >>71418349 (OP) # >can you get the f--- out of the way? I'm trying to find the manga section : Anonymous >>71418391 # just step over her bro Anonymous 12/15/22(Thu)23:49:26 No.71418349 >tfw no lonely library reading gf 121 KB JPG View Thread 12/15/22(Thu)23:54:43 No.71418391 12/15/22(Thu)23:55:47 No.71418398 12/15/22(Thu)23:57:45 No.71418410 >kicks over her coffee "on accident" and farts in her face on the way to the MTG books

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Ronnie McNutt orders Chinese food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 30 KB JPG 12/15/22(Thu)22:16:47 No.71418096 >'Hello this is Mandarin House what would you like to order?' >'Hi can I get the sweet and sour chicken with a side of chow mein please.' >'Sure thing. Will that be everything sir?' >'One sec let me ask my pals in the other room.' >'Hey guys!' *no response* >'I guess that's it. Thanks.'

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White femanons bad? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 176 KB JPG 12/15/22(Thu)18:01:00 No.890816203 White women in slavery era in the West: >use white privilege to have everything that white men have, including s------- on colored folk, just no outdoor responsibilities or privilege White women in modern era in the West: >use white privilege for all the good things white men have, use minority privilege to get all the good parts that minorities have, use minority and white privilege to s--- on colored folks and white men as needed How did they convince the world that they have always been the oppressed minorities like the slaves?!!! White women know how to play the system so good /b/ros, can't even blame them.

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Anon has good day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/27/19(Wed)15:48:38 No.51197545 >Going for a walk to calm down the nerves >Sees a cliff 89 KB PNG better day >Thinks about jumping but doesn't Today is going to be a

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