Anon tries a b------ | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 10/02/15(Fri)20:17:24 No.644454419 >>644455296 File: 1438873902563.jpg (31 KB, 505x479) >be 7 >think b------- involve actual blowing >can't blow self >get idea >blow up balloon and stretch it over my d--- as fast as possible >mom walks in >panic and let go of balloon >d--- is out and balloon is flying around the room >can only hear the sound of judgement and farts >balloon hits her face >leaves >cry myself to sleep

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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: Anonymous how do I get a tomboy gf please help >>4203395 # : Anonymous : Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)09:01:25 No.4203360 450 KB GIF 11/09/21(Tue)09:06:30 No.4203368 11/09/21(Tue)09:28:20 No.4203395 >>4203360 # >go outside >find qt tomboy >talk to her non-autistically >become acquaintances >ask to go to some kind of event or activity together >>4203557 # >>4205015 # >>4205033 # >>4205058 # >>4205267 # : Anonymous >>4203395 # >talk to her non-autistically That's where most of us fail, kiddo. 11/09/21(Tue)11:59:27 No.4203557

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Anonymous 68 KB JPG 06/08/18(Fri)20:00:19 No.770999677 How does this make you feel /b/? : Anonymous >>770999677 (OP) # Happy, I love dogs 06/08/18(Fri)20:00:54 No.770999714

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anon is grooming the homies as a joke | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 129 KB JPG 08/22/22(Mon)02:09:51 No.27306366 >Every time a homie's birthday rolls around I ask them for their measurements >Buy them a cosplay of their waifu or shimakaze >As a joke of course >They will laugh at it while thanking me >They will get curious and put it on in private >I will jokingly ask them for pics >They will jokingly send them to me I am grooming the homies

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Anon became rich | /r/Greentext

53 KB JPG >Be me, 19 >See my friend reading those 'how to get rich', 'how to become a millionaire' books >Tell him the best way to become a millionaire is simply to write a book about 'how to become a millionaire' >He laughs at me >Take up the challenge >Start writing my book >Mainly just copy and paste general information from google >It gets published >HolySh*t.exe >Promote the book via social media etc >Ret*rds start buying the book knowing very well they won't even apply the information to their life will probably forget everything they read in two weeks >Sales explode >HolySh*t.exe >2 years later, multi millionaire, wrote a couple more books which didn't do as well but no complaints from me 1

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Anon epiphanizes Wakanda | /r/Greentext

"B-but Wakanda IS real! It's INSIDE us!" Anonymous 12/04/22(Sun)16:25:41 No.177538201 ► >White man creates fictional black country of Wakanda >Black people latch onto and make fictional country entire identity >White people propogate this and continue to write Wakanda comics to keep black people under control. >Black people continue to eat it up and consider it "diversity" and "empowerment" But Wakanda is sooo empowering to black people, right?

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anon is jealous to get attention from guys | /r/Greentext

File: 1331359893645.jpg (37 KB, 231x251) [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] Anonymous 12/02/22(Fri)15:21:30 No.71230406 >make friends with a stacy from my job >within 1 month she starts showing me texts from other men who tried to hit on her >shows me texts from her two stalkers as well >including one that messages her every single week and she doesnt respond >hes been doing this for 4 years >tells me about another guy that followed her from job to job >tells me about the random encounters every time she goes out and gets hit on Am I supposed to feel sympathy? I don't. I feel an incessant disgust for women like this. F--- you for getting attention even if it's creepy. [Post a Reply] 0/0/1/1

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Anon thought women were just a meme | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 280 KB PNG 05/12/20(Tue)22:36:00 No.5812265. >go outside >see people with long hair >see people with t--- >see people wearing a dress >they're everywhere W-- guys I thought women were just a meme

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Anon's free weightloss program | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: LTGpIUS) 10/30/14(Thu)13:00:58 No.576660916 ► >>576661060 >>576661213 File: 123121.jpg (127 KB, 500x667) You know what would be funny as f---: >Track down one of these extreme fatfucks, shouldn't be too hard to spot them >drug them down using horse-tranquelizer >use forklift to put them into the back of your van >drive to "the location" >an empty building with a drained pool >drop f------ down into pool >they wake up >you've successfully trapped a f------ >even though the height of the ledge in the shallow end is just 1 meter, it's impossible for them to get up >watch them waddle around ranting about thin priveledge >All there is in the pool is a hole at the bottom to s--- in >every day you bring in a bag of mcdonalds and some salad >throw the salad to the f------ while sitting nearby(where they can watch) feasting upon their lifeforce >eventually one day, they get light enough to climb out of the pool >at the first sight of them doing that, I will shoot them with another tranquelizer >put them in van and dump them back near some random houses where they can get help >All thats left from me is in their pocket >a note >"If you ever ecome that fat again, you'll be back. But with no light, no food and no s-------" >repeat with next fattie >One day I may even manage to get a f------ that wants to learn after me >l effectivly become jigsaw >I need my student to take up after me as police will one day get me >in the police station they realise I'm wearing a mask >they rip it off >I'm actually an anteater >outside the juristiction of law >released on legal default >mfw

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Anon "Needs" to Lose Weight... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 58 KB JPG >b-but it's not healthy Don't care >b-but it's gonna be mostly water weight! Don't care >b-but its harmful to your health Don't care >b-but... Don't care How do I lose 1 kilo every 2 days while still staying alive? Anonymous >>69154669 (OP) # you could try cutting off your arm Anonymous 12/04/22(Sun)19:43:38 No.69154669 I need to lose 15 kilos in 30 days >>69154676 # >>69156216 # Anonymous >>69154698 # Anonymous 12/04/22(Sun)19:44:32 No.69154675 >>69154690 # >>69154707 # >>69154757 # >>69154698 # 12/04/22(Sun)19:44:57 No.69154676 12/04/22(Sun)19:45:27 No.69154685 12/04/22(Sun)19:46:34 No.69154690 >>69154676 # >don't care if it's harmful to your health >but no physical danger must come to you You could scoop out your brain, it's only half a kilo but you aren't using it anyway

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