Anon seeks employment | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous fake it till you make it 37 KB JPG 05/11/22(Wed) 20:52:21 No.6858649 >be me >apply for light bulb assembly line job >no college >just two fast food jobs on resume >get to interview >job is actually to run the whole lightbulb factory >only the HR person at interview, other person had an emergency >HR person is showing me around >obviously has no idea how anything works >I just starting making up names for machines and processes >a couple employees say what they're doing so I vaguely know whats happening >interview ends, told I'm a top candidate >when lightbulbs start burning down houses, you'll know I got the job

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon loses to the globohomo and becomes a femboy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 336 KB PNG 11/23/22(Wed)07:41:21 No.28460112 im a femboy and tha gwobalists and joos are psyoping me into taking female hormones, wearing cute clothes, and asking to be treated like a girl. pwease hewlp me mwister chud before my boobs get too big and my ass gets too fat. you're our only hope!!!

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Anon feels bad about being a narcissist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me >30 y/o 27 KB PNG 11/23/22(Wed)03:44:01 No.889554427 >mom was a narcissist >hate her >grow up >always want control over my friends and if they don't obey me i delete them >usually end up dating people 10y younger than me because it makes me feel in control >lose friends and lovers because they won't listen to me when i'm angry with something >it's their fault, they were wrong >have doubts and think maybe mom's tendencies might be rubbing off on me >realize i might also be a narcissist

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UK Anon visits American restaurants | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [*] 11/30/20(Mon)23:57:14 No.135008220 Andrew (Toycat) @ibxtoycat In the UK we sometimes joke about having to order the kids meal In America to get a normal sized meal Today I actually did it, this is what a $5.50 kids meal at olive garden looks like, it is legitimately just a regular amount of food hello this is ibxtoycat and welcome back to another minecraft video.png 416 KB PNG >be me >visiting America with family >go to restaurant for lunch >waitress assures my mom that the portions aren't excessive >get food >biggest plate of pasta I've ever seen >mfw I'm obese and even I couldn't finish more than half of it Why are Americans such gluttonous pigs?

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Anon is a normie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous i need advice i have a girlfriend (i know, normie, f-----, kys, etc) she's my first and only girlfriend (im 19), been dating for about 8 months now. i feel like she doesnt love me the way that i love her. i've noticed that being apart doesnt bother her at all when it makes me miserable. not texting for hours doesnt affect her in any way when it drives me insane. i constantly tell her how important she is to me and how fond i am of her and she appreciates it when i say it, but she has never told me anything similar. i buy her things and she gets excited and says thank you but never mentions anything about being thankful after i initially buy it for her. im always the one that initiates a hug or a kiss, or even holding hands. i cant imagine that shes not in love with me because she could leave me at any point, but i don't know why theres so many differences between us when it comes to affection 22 KB JPG : Anonymous AD 224 KB PNG 11/22/22(Tue)20:47:09 No.71093842 >>71093885 # 11/22/22(Tue)20:48:31 No.71093858 Why are you treating this place like r/relationship_advice, normalfag?

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Anon is rude | /r/Greentext

Any other autism bros just stopped playing along the fake social game with normies? Any other autism bros just sto(...) 29 KB JPG 11/22/22(Tue)22:44:15 No.71090635 >be me >go to store >get items >at cash register >Cashier asks, "Hi, how's your day going so far?" >doesn't even look at me while saying it >Its been going well thank you >... >YEA its been well for me too, THANKS for asking >... >You know if you wanted me to know how you were doing you could have just asked 14 Replies >visibly seething >pay and leave Why do they get mad when I don't pretend to give a s--- about them? At least autists just tell you w-- they're thinking without in a fishing for compliments kind of way. View Thread

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Couch cuck | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ES 117 KB JPG 11/23/22(Wed)15:25:36 No.71093621 >her 9yr old son kicks me out of bed to sleep with his mommy while I have to take the couch >>71093692 # Anonymous >>71093621 (OP) # >Raising another man's child >First response is some cuck f----- telling YOU to not be a p---- F------ LMAO 11/23/22(Wed)15:30:13 No.71093679

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Anon has a perfect family | /r/Greentext

STAMMERFORS Anonymous 11/23/22(Wed)09:02:18 No.889550939 >tell my family over and over again to be nicer to me >and I'm not f------ talking special treatment here, just that they could talk to me as nicely as they talk to strangers >stop going through my stuff and berating me for not looking happy and casually smacking me for "being in the way" >tell them I'm not coming home anymore if they don't f------ stop >they tell me they've always been perfectly perfect and never done a thing in my life, they don't know what I'm talking about >since they cannot improve upon perfection and their hands are tied, they dare me to do it. I can leave if they really are so horrible >so I leave >post an update on my social media explaining why I no longer associate with them >as an example, I name an incident which happened with verifiable proof, and a photo of the scars I got from medical neglect >phone goes brr >23 messages from communication forms where I hadn't blocked my family members yet "OH MY GOD ANON TAKE THAT DOWN TAKE THAT DOWN YOUR MOTHER'S CUSTOMERS CUSTOMERS FOLLOW YOUR PAGE, THEY WILL SEE THAT" >mfw my flawless, perfect family is somehow terrified that other people will witness the perfection which could not possibly have been improved upon

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Anon has a whoopsie daisy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous JAGNFRENT sof 09/18/21 (Sat)11:20:04 No.152011247 anlam alk deadbeat_cat.jpg 304 KB JPG >be completely hangover in camping >go to the public restroom to take a s--- >I'm hearing cute moaning in the stall just next to me >think that a girl is f------ or touching herself in it >d--- turns instantly to diamonds, start stealth flapping to her moaning >coom >go out of the toilet and wait to see how she looks like >a 6 years old kid goes out >mfw I fapped to a 6 years old taking a s--- >>152011340 # >>152011358 # >>152012310 # >>152012586 # >>152012728 # >>152013118 # >>152013467 # >>152013592 #

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Anon is a proud aerospace engineer | /r/Greentext

6/1/2011 14:28 EST Anonymous 06/01/11 (Wed)14:44:44 No.331649063 File 1306953884.jpg-(110 KB, 862x645, Docility.jpg) 2:40ME 2:51M Commencing experiment in amphibian aviation. OP 06/01/11(Wed)14:56:07 No.331650530 File 1306954567.jpg-(87 KB, 856x641, vodka.jpg) 6/1/2011 Frog is being put in cryogenic stasis for docility during the attachment of aviation equipment and will be revived. OP 06/01/11(Wed)15:02:58 No.331651484 File 1306954978.jpg-(84 KB, 856x638, pissdrunk.jpg) Frog not becoming docile quickly enough. Now adding vodka to the equation. Toad is now sufficiently docile. Attempting to attach state- of-the-art aviation equipment... OP 06/01/11(Wed)15:18:03 No.331653601 File 1306955883.jpg-(144 KB, 802x906, prepared.jpg) 6/11/2011 Aviation equipment attached. Preparing for launch. MI Nevar forget The day /b/ sent a toad into SPACE chan4chan.com

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Anon done goofed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB PNG 11/23/22(Wed)14:52:42 No.71093340 >Be me >learning how to be independent >Mom teaches me how to make cookies >I burn the bottom part of the cookies. : Anonymous >>71093340 (OP) # You left them in too long, dingus 11/23/22(Wed)16:22:17 No.71094143 : Anonymous >>71093340 (OP) # it's ok anon you can improov with practice, dont give up 11/23/22(Wed)16:24:31 No.71094164

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India superpower 2020 | /r/Greentext

In the last 10 years, India has been pretty much destroyed on the internet. It first started in 2011 from the gang r--- and murder of the girl which gained international media attention. After that, every single r--- case from India was sensationalised in the Western press and reported extensively. Following the r---, in 2014 came r/IndianPeople Facebook, where tons of people would post memes from Indian facebook users for their bad English. In 2015, some /pol/ user dug up the "Poo2Loo" campaign video which was mostly just a project by a few university students to spread awareness about open defecation, but that spread to /pol/ and they had a field day with it after some Indian anon began shitposting about India's streets being very clean and instead all the pooping happens in "designated s------- streets". This was 2016. A lot of this of course, was real, and a lot of it was exaggerated and played up Pakies who too were having a field day s------- on India. Then, around 2018, started the whole scammer-busting channels where most of the scammers would be form India, creating another set of memes about Indians being scammers. In 2019, due to the whole T-Series vs PewDiePie fiasco, and the Bitch Lasgna song which became very famous, India's and Indians reputation took another massive plunge and even young people from several other countries took a collective s--- on Indians. Finally, in 2020, COVID hit India and then the local press tried to mock the ruling party for cow urine (even though its a small crazy minority) but then news spread internationally that all Indians are drinking cow piss and rubbing cow dung. And finally, you have this Israel-Palestine fiasco where Indian Muslims are sucking up to Palestine and the HinduNats are sucking up to Israel, and once again our Pakistani brothers have not let us down and are using it to their full potential to completely assblast us from all directions. 57 KB PNG

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Anon Commits Domestic Violence | /r/Greentext

File: img96.jpg (83 KB, 976x549) Choices: Probable Jail or Start New Life? Anonymous 07/03/22(Sun)16:39:41 No.26823009 >>26823091 >>26823222 >Me >Possible jail? >23 years old. Scared. Parents looking for me >Rewind to Monday >Argue with sister (one year older) because she threw my wet clothes on the dryer after they washed and didn't bother letting me know or throwing mine in with hers >Shoving match. Each walk away >Avoid each other all week >Today, Sunday arrives >Sitting in kitchen on laptop minding my own business waiting for oven to finish preheating so I can make my lunch >Bitch sister walks in and I swear purposely gets her foot caught on my laptop wire which was super out of the way and nearly pulls my laptop off countertop >She looks down says "oh" and doesn't apologize >Yell W-- at her and we get in each other's faces >She eventually swings and hits me in the face. Tell her if she puts her f------ hands on me again I'd knock her out >She does again and pushes me >Fight in kitchen begins and I hit her hard and we are knocking stuff over and she's yelling like a crazy person as we're fighting >I try to get her to stop screaming and had her pinned on the floor. I think she's bleeding at this point >Fight or flight I keep hitting her >Never hear sister cry as an adult, not even when she got her braces on years ago. F------ traumatized >Hear neighbor pounding on the door, ringing the doorbell and yelling outside that they're calling the cops >Leave bitch sister laying on the floor crying. I need to remind you all, SHE HIT ME FIRST >Run upstairs and grab important s---. Phone charger, clothes, chargers, etc >Manage to stuff everything in small Mazda. Neighbor yelling w-- happened and that they heard screaming. >Don't answer and hop in car. Peel out and drive away >Drive endlessly with no direction >Now sitting in car writing this...3 hours away from home and worried I might go to jail if I return home. I'd never be believed >Kind of hope someone turned off the oven >Should I never look back and start a new life? I'm broke and am essentially living in my car currently

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