Anon Commits Domestic Violence | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: img96.jpg (83 KB, 976x549) Choices: Probable Jail or Start New Life? Anonymous 07/03/22(Sun)16:39:41 No.26823009 >>26823091 >>26823222 >Me >Possible jail? >23 years old. Scared. Parents looking for me >Rewind to Monday >Argue with sister (one year older) because she threw my wet clothes on the dryer after they washed and didn't bother letting me know or throwing mine in with hers >Shoving match. Each walk away >Avoid each other all week >Today, Sunday arrives >Sitting in kitchen on laptop minding my own business waiting for oven to finish preheating so I can make my lunch >Bitch sister walks in and I swear purposely gets her foot caught on my laptop wire which was super out of the way and nearly pulls my laptop off countertop >She looks down says "oh" and doesn't apologize >Yell W-- at her and we get in each other's faces >She eventually swings and hits me in the face. Tell her if she puts her f------ hands on me again I'd knock her out >She does again and pushes me >Fight in kitchen begins and I hit her hard and we are knocking stuff over and she's yelling like a crazy person as we're fighting >I try to get her to stop screaming and had her pinned on the floor. I think she's bleeding at this point >Fight or flight I keep hitting her >Never hear sister cry as an adult, not even when she got her braces on years ago. F------ traumatized >Hear neighbor pounding on the door, ringing the doorbell and yelling outside that they're calling the cops >Leave bitch sister laying on the floor crying. I need to remind you all, SHE HIT ME FIRST >Run upstairs and grab important s---. Phone charger, clothes, chargers, etc >Manage to stuff everything in small Mazda. Neighbor yelling w-- happened and that they heard screaming. >Don't answer and hop in car. Peel out and drive away >Drive endlessly with no direction >Now sitting in car writing this...3 hours away from home and worried I might go to jail if I return home. I'd never be believed >Kind of hope someone turned off the oven >Should I never look back and start a new life? I'm broke and am essentially living in my car currently

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is delusional | /r/Greentext

STUDENT DEBT "CRISIS" SOLVED: FANFITE 2019 The NUGUSTA CHRONICLE 5/23.castlecartions.com 1. You took out a loan. 2. Pay it back. Why does this simple fact trigger the freeloading chuds so much? 1668412343789.jpg 124 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 7m67NuTK) >>404346279 # >>404344433 (OP) # Loan set to 8.25% while inflation was near zero for decades... 11/14/22(Mon)13:24:08 No.404344549 : Anonymous (ID: MSp9mSAA) 11/14/22(Mon)13:40:57 No.404345741 >1. you lost the election >2. concede how come magachud republicanss are such hypocrites? >>404346131 # >>404347583 # >>404345946 # Anonymous (ID: QT87iyAU) 11/14/22(Mon)13:43:03 No.404345881 >>404344433 (OP) # As soon as Israel pays their loans back to America. : Anonymous (ID: EXmTtOVO) 11/14/22(Mon)13:44:10 No.404345946 >>404345881 # jews dont pay back Gentiles. : Anonymous (ID: ruCFTKVr) 11/14/22(Mon)13:46:45 No.404346127 >>404344433 (OP) # I don't think it's that simple and I say that as someone who did pay their loans. Something has to be done because as the current system stands now, kids are guilted into going into school and are being pressured into making a decision that will financially impact their life at 16/17 years of age. This needs to stop as it's also a never ending lifeline for commie colleges. I think parents should have to cosign for all these loans and be forced to pay if the kid can't. Parents will think twice then about their "you must go to college" guilt tactics if they are financially liable too

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Anon got wrecked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous anti-mire thread post interactions that just completely destroyed you >just had sex >feeling good >have a mustache (maybe relevant?) >At gas station in ill-fitted t-shirt >buy protein bar and bananas and one of those protein cookies >go to pay for items >Cashier dude (same age, but has acne, not built, works at a gas station) says "are you a reddit- goer?" 1.14 MB PNG 11/22/22(Tue)15:50:49 No.69031417 The absolute devastation of it. To not only be brought to an incel's level, but then placed below him in his own mental schema. crushing 48 Replies / 12 Images View Thread

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Anon is an engineer/biologist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)02:08:18 No.35329649 ► File: 1401035059003.jpg (35 KB, 300x562) >>35329437 & YOU'RE AWESOME. ThatAutist 10/06/14(Mon)00:07:23 No.35327430► >>35327461 >>35327471 >>35327477 >>35327508 >>35327531 >>35327550 >>35327980 >>35328111 >>35328229 >>35329131 >>35329240 >>35329267 >>35329270 >>35329334 >>35329437 >>35329536 >>35336882 >>35338254 How does a centaur wipe its ass? >> Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)00:08:05 No.35327442 ► The same way a horse does >> Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)00:08:43 No.35327455 ► How does it use a toilet? Few posts later.. Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)01:56:38 No.35329437 ► >>35329470 >>35329475 >>35329496 >>35329519 >>35329520 >>35329649 >>35330038 >>35330231 >>35330738 >>35330772 >>35330818 >>35330848 >>35330876 >>35330913 >>35331957 >>35331960 >>35332100 >>35332177 >>35332190 >>35332515 >>35332752 >>35332852 >>35333064 >>35333206 >>35333242 >>35333281 >>35334638 >>35337392 >>35338414 >>35339185 >>35339211 >>35339324 File: download.jpg (9 KB, 194x259) Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)04:38:39 No.35332427 ► File: whosawesomenurgle.jpg (101 KB, 620x531) WHO'S AWESOME? Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)00:09:22 No.35327461 ► >>35337442 >>35327430 (OP) Extreme flexibility, tools, rubbing against other objects, help from other centaurs. Take your pick, I guess. >>35327430 (OP) The horse anus is a marvel of evolutionary biology. Like most mammals, rhythmic contractions of the bowels move the feces up to the end of the gut to be expelled. What sets the horse anus apart is the bafflingly complex autonomic contractive motion of 4 muscular rings which function like sphinctoral guillotine. As the feces is squeezed out, the rings expand and the outermost ring is retracted into an interior skinfold resembling the human foreskin, leaving an interstital tissue fold to open air. The two inner rings then contract, and push apart, severing the horse feces cleanly, allowing to drop free as the outer ring folds back through the interstital flap, creating a intrinsic wiping motion with the fourth ring as it contracts back into the horses rectum. Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)03:12:15 No.35330848 >>35329437 At first I thought this was going to be some disgusting fetish thing, then I learned something about making a better ketchup dispenser. This advanced biological mechanism is so effective that many industrial companies have copied Nature's design for self-cleaning viscus liquid dispensers housed within complex machinery. >>35329437 Someone archive this s--- Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)01:59:05 No.35329475 ► >>35329437 Today I learned about why horse anuses benefit engineering. Thanks, /tg/. Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)04:13:22 No.35331957 >>35332520 File: 1400270926557.png (179 KB, 278x365) ThatAutist 10/06/14(Mon)03:06:48 No.35330738 ► >>35329437 How do you know this sir? Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)03:11:00 No.35330818 ► >>35329437 I'm having a hard time visualizing this. A thread about literal horseshit is interesting. Literally we have made a thread about horseshit and it is not only interesting, it is educational. Well done, /tg/. Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)02:00:11 No.35329496 ► File: 1370205992896.jpg (212 KB, 728x518) ts Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)02:01:33 No.35329520 ► File: 1359502187345.jpg (193 KB, 550x550) Right Now >>35329437 I don't really know if I want this to be true or not. Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)04:38:59 No.35332436 ► File: 1365103561233.gif (21 KB, 350x350) The Best Thread Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)01:58:39 No.35329470 ► File: 1362699927917.jpg (60 KB, 385x331) >>35329437 >>35329335 >>35329437 I don't even know what to say. Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)02:42:06 No.35330231 ▸ File: 1410073912412.gif (2.7 MB, 355x210) >>35329437 I f------ love you, /tg/ Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)03:16:28 No.35330913 ► >>35329437 I've never been on /an/ but I'm guessing it's something like this. Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)03:08:33 No.35330772 ► File: 1407205651831.jpg (34 KB, 312x312) >>35329437

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Anon tells a story of a coworker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/16/22 (Wed)04:42:25 No.27732527 >>27732588 >>27732624 >>27761243 >>27763352 This was roughly a decade ago but >20 year old, male, autistic >working my first job at a grocery store after dropping out of college >slowly starting to adjust, but still socially retarded >coworker is some late twenties woman, looks like a b------- with a stocky build, tattoos, and short hair >very very friendly, but also condescending and patronising, would joke about how we're the same because she had ADHD and got overly touchy in a roughhousing kind of way >ran out of patience for her very quickly because she wasn't respecting my boundaries >she starts getting upset over this and has frequent outbursts about it >after a couple months of this tensions peak and she asks me to talk with her outside >agree to it with the assumption that she wants to fight and sucker punch her in the face the moment we get outside >she starts screaming "what the f--- is wrong with you" while bawling her eyes out >later find out that she had a thing for me and wanted to smooth things over before I clocked her My only regret is that I should've punched her after she spoke, not before.

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Anons sexuality is questionable | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 979 KB PNG 11/22/22(Tue)17:09:52 No.71092117 >be me >Straight >Get hemorrhoids because I sit too much, also spicy food >Medicine is a long tube i gotta put in my rectum to spread some cream >Straight >F--- it, i don't wanna s--- blood the rest of my life >straight >Push the thing in >Erection Why

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Anon is a creep | /r/Greentext

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Anon could be a kardashian | /r/Greentext

STRAVA TA Se 4M >>889520639 >>889520904 Anonymous 11/22/22(Tue)18:51:29 No.889517577 >>889518001 any1 use strava app for exercise motivation? Anonymous 11/22/22(Tue)19:01:04 No.889518001 >>889518132 >>889518193>>889518580 >>889518650 >>889519238 >>889519837 >>889519893 >>889520457 >>889517577 (OP) I signed up to one of those apps. >be voyeurist tight lycra cycling f----- >race against the speed time challenges >never get 1st on the leaderboards Anonymous 11/22/22(Tue)18:51:54 No.889517593 >realise they are split between genders >open app settings >change my gender to female I am not a raging f----- who is too poor to buy a gym membership, so no. >redo my routes >start beating all the girls records >sponsorship emails start flooding in >they send me free s--- with their logos on them >sell them on ebay >being a neet t----- has never been so profitable

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Anon is an Egg, Waiting to be Hatched | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 105 KB PNG 06/22/22(Wed)18:27:43 No.69144354 >mom is trying to be a fashion designer and photographer >asks if she can give me a makeover to test her skills >agree on condition she buys me a big steak >get my legs waxed and nails done >she gives me skirt, pantyhose, big padded bra, sweater, women's suit jacket and jewelry >does my hair and makeup >poses me in angles that downplays my male proportions and takes photos >I can't believe how much I look like a woman in the pictures, and pretty >get upset and tell her to delete the pictures because it's "too gay" >she is both amused and disappointed but deletes the pics and then takes me to get a big steak >nightly panic attacks and crying ever since because I wish I was the person in those pictures instead of the real me I ruined my f------ life for a steak

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anon finds a wife | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 3.43 MB JPG 11/22/22(Tue)19:25:39 No.71085112 > be me, Belgian >2m tall, really fit, usually fall for tall girls, always needs to put in loads of effort, be entertaining. > Have a bit of a dry spell > Tiny Chinese girl initiated messaging me on Hinge > I arrange the first date (just grabbing coffee) > She pays for both of us before i can even say anything > She arranges the second one > She's actually based and racist as f--- > Acts like i'm actually a catch, makes me feel giddy > Just don't talk about Taiwan, chinese propeganda is hardwired > right balance between modesty and sexyness She's totally not my type. But damn if i don't marry that girl, and get children with her. character>looks Not being fat is also character. : Anonymous 11/22/22(Tue)19:30:35 No.71085156 I'm in no position to judge as a retarded incel, but isn't it kind of pathetic to get bent out of shape just because she's sweettalking you a little in an effort to ensnare a handsome tall European? I don't know if I'd actually be attracted to someone being desperate to be with me. 11/22/22(Tue)19:31:21 No.71085162 : Anonymous >>71085112 (OP) # I wouldn't be surprised if she was sent by the bug empire to subvert the west. But f--- it, get yours bro, have as much hapa kids as you can. 11/22/22(Tue)19:37:00 No.71085210 : Anonymous Imao he fell for the special sperm harvest operation

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Anon walks through the wrong neighborhood | /r/Greentext

Anonymous B8 85 KB PNG 01/05/22(Wed)21:10:56 No.66866384 >Walking to Train stop >In bad neighborhood >Dark and lonely streets >Spooky.zip >See a group of scary looking nigs >They're headed towards me >F--- >Have been jumped before >Quickly walk up to a random house >Pretend it's mine >Start fumbling with my keys >"Yo w--" >S---. It's their house >Mumble an apology and sprint-walk away. >Hear them laugh as I leave >MFW : Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)21:13:04 No.66866413 get owned white boi : Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)21:18:37 No.66866476 >>66866384 (OP) # congrats you're a f-----

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Not even easy mode, this is tutorial mode tier | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/17/22(Thu)22:37:29 No.71028385 The professional CUDDLER who makes $260 a day by inviting strangers to take a nap with her at home Jackie Samuel, 29, is a professional cuddler and makes up to $260 a day from her business called The Snuggery in Rochester, New York. She cuddles with up to 30 men a week - including pensioners and war veterans. The cuddling can take place anywhere around her cottage but most clients opt to use her large double bed. guaranteed replies.jpg 173 KB JPG I would do this. Would you do this? 22 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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An emotionless bot | /r/Greentext

Anonymous S 74 KB JPG 11/22/22(Tue)14:47:55 No.889520348 No purpose in life, no reason to live >grew up poor, want to give a financially stable life to my parents >achieve it finally at 30, but still they are not happy and neither am I. Is there more to life? >go to graduate school to learn new things and create something great after >graduate but I'm back to a 9-5 making some company richer >every day and every night, I spend my time wondering what now. But there no answer. >I cannot feel any feelings >there is no purpose >I have no friends to go be happy with >I have no passion to pursue >nothing was ever important >nothing will ever be >my existence is so expendable Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't kill myself. I don't see the point in that either Just work 9-5, wait for bed 5-11, sleep 11-. Repeat. No emotions. No purpose. If I die by accident, it would be like dropping a plate in my kitchen, they'll get another. I feel empty. I feel nothing. Are you any different?

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