Anon has a whoopsie daisy | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous JAGNFRENT sof 09/18/21 (Sat)11:20:04 No.152011247 anlam alk deadbeat_cat.jpg 304 KB JPG >be completely hangover in camping >go to the public restroom to take a s--- >I'm hearing cute moaning in the stall just next to me >think that a girl is f------ or touching herself in it >d--- turns instantly to diamonds, start stealth flapping to her moaning >coom >go out of the toilet and wait to see how she looks like >a 6 years old kid goes out >mfw I fapped to a 6 years old taking a s--- >>152011340 # >>152011358 # >>152012310 # >>152012586 # >>152012728 # >>152013118 # >>152013467 # >>152013592 #

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is a proud aerospace engineer | /r/Greentext

6/1/2011 14:28 EST Anonymous 06/01/11 (Wed)14:44:44 No.331649063 File 1306953884.jpg-(110 KB, 862x645, Docility.jpg) 2:40ME 2:51M Commencing experiment in amphibian aviation. OP 06/01/11(Wed)14:56:07 No.331650530 File 1306954567.jpg-(87 KB, 856x641, vodka.jpg) 6/1/2011 Frog is being put in cryogenic stasis for docility during the attachment of aviation equipment and will be revived. OP 06/01/11(Wed)15:02:58 No.331651484 File 1306954978.jpg-(84 KB, 856x638, pissdrunk.jpg) Frog not becoming docile quickly enough. Now adding vodka to the equation. Toad is now sufficiently docile. Attempting to attach state- of-the-art aviation equipment... OP 06/01/11(Wed)15:18:03 No.331653601 File 1306955883.jpg-(144 KB, 802x906, prepared.jpg) 6/11/2011 Aviation equipment attached. Preparing for launch. MI Nevar forget The day /b/ sent a toad into SPACE chan4chan.com

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Anon done goofed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB PNG 11/23/22(Wed)14:52:42 No.71093340 >Be me >learning how to be independent >Mom teaches me how to make cookies >I burn the bottom part of the cookies. : Anonymous >>71093340 (OP) # You left them in too long, dingus 11/23/22(Wed)16:22:17 No.71094143 : Anonymous >>71093340 (OP) # it's ok anon you can improov with practice, dont give up 11/23/22(Wed)16:24:31 No.71094164

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India superpower 2020 | /r/Greentext

In the last 10 years, India has been pretty much destroyed on the internet. It first started in 2011 from the gang r--- and murder of the girl which gained international media attention. After that, every single r--- case from India was sensationalised in the Western press and reported extensively. Following the r---, in 2014 came r/IndianPeople Facebook, where tons of people would post memes from Indian facebook users for their bad English. In 2015, some /pol/ user dug up the "Poo2Loo" campaign video which was mostly just a project by a few university students to spread awareness about open defecation, but that spread to /pol/ and they had a field day with it after some Indian anon began shitposting about India's streets being very clean and instead all the pooping happens in "designated s------- streets". This was 2016. A lot of this of course, was real, and a lot of it was exaggerated and played up Pakies who too were having a field day s------- on India. Then, around 2018, started the whole scammer-busting channels where most of the scammers would be form India, creating another set of memes about Indians being scammers. In 2019, due to the whole T-Series vs PewDiePie fiasco, and the Bitch Lasgna song which became very famous, India's and Indians reputation took another massive plunge and even young people from several other countries took a collective s--- on Indians. Finally, in 2020, COVID hit India and then the local press tried to mock the ruling party for cow urine (even though its a small crazy minority) but then news spread internationally that all Indians are drinking cow piss and rubbing cow dung. And finally, you have this Israel-Palestine fiasco where Indian Muslims are sucking up to Palestine and the HinduNats are sucking up to Israel, and once again our Pakistani brothers have not let us down and are using it to their full potential to completely assblast us from all directions. 57 KB PNG

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Anon Commits Domestic Violence | /r/Greentext

File: img96.jpg (83 KB, 976x549) Choices: Probable Jail or Start New Life? Anonymous 07/03/22(Sun)16:39:41 No.26823009 >>26823091 >>26823222 >Me >Possible jail? >23 years old. Scared. Parents looking for me >Rewind to Monday >Argue with sister (one year older) because she threw my wet clothes on the dryer after they washed and didn't bother letting me know or throwing mine in with hers >Shoving match. Each walk away >Avoid each other all week >Today, Sunday arrives >Sitting in kitchen on laptop minding my own business waiting for oven to finish preheating so I can make my lunch >Bitch sister walks in and I swear purposely gets her foot caught on my laptop wire which was super out of the way and nearly pulls my laptop off countertop >She looks down says "oh" and doesn't apologize >Yell W-- at her and we get in each other's faces >She eventually swings and hits me in the face. Tell her if she puts her f------ hands on me again I'd knock her out >She does again and pushes me >Fight in kitchen begins and I hit her hard and we are knocking stuff over and she's yelling like a crazy person as we're fighting >I try to get her to stop screaming and had her pinned on the floor. I think she's bleeding at this point >Fight or flight I keep hitting her >Never hear sister cry as an adult, not even when she got her braces on years ago. F------ traumatized >Hear neighbor pounding on the door, ringing the doorbell and yelling outside that they're calling the cops >Leave bitch sister laying on the floor crying. I need to remind you all, SHE HIT ME FIRST >Run upstairs and grab important s---. Phone charger, clothes, chargers, etc >Manage to stuff everything in small Mazda. Neighbor yelling w-- happened and that they heard screaming. >Don't answer and hop in car. Peel out and drive away >Drive endlessly with no direction >Now sitting in car writing this...3 hours away from home and worried I might go to jail if I return home. I'd never be believed >Kind of hope someone turned off the oven >Should I never look back and start a new life? I'm broke and am essentially living in my car currently

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Anon is delusional | /r/Greentext

STUDENT DEBT "CRISIS" SOLVED: FANFITE 2019 The NUGUSTA CHRONICLE 5/23.castlecartions.com 1. You took out a loan. 2. Pay it back. Why does this simple fact trigger the freeloading chuds so much? 1668412343789.jpg 124 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 7m67NuTK) >>404346279 # >>404344433 (OP) # Loan set to 8.25% while inflation was near zero for decades... 11/14/22(Mon)13:24:08 No.404344549 : Anonymous (ID: MSp9mSAA) 11/14/22(Mon)13:40:57 No.404345741 >1. you lost the election >2. concede how come magachud republicanss are such hypocrites? >>404346131 # >>404347583 # >>404345946 # Anonymous (ID: QT87iyAU) 11/14/22(Mon)13:43:03 No.404345881 >>404344433 (OP) # As soon as Israel pays their loans back to America. : Anonymous (ID: EXmTtOVO) 11/14/22(Mon)13:44:10 No.404345946 >>404345881 # jews dont pay back Gentiles. : Anonymous (ID: ruCFTKVr) 11/14/22(Mon)13:46:45 No.404346127 >>404344433 (OP) # I don't think it's that simple and I say that as someone who did pay their loans. Something has to be done because as the current system stands now, kids are guilted into going into school and are being pressured into making a decision that will financially impact their life at 16/17 years of age. This needs to stop as it's also a never ending lifeline for commie colleges. I think parents should have to cosign for all these loans and be forced to pay if the kid can't. Parents will think twice then about their "you must go to college" guilt tactics if they are financially liable too

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Anon got wrecked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous anti-mire thread post interactions that just completely destroyed you >just had sex >feeling good >have a mustache (maybe relevant?) >At gas station in ill-fitted t-shirt >buy protein bar and bananas and one of those protein cookies >go to pay for items >Cashier dude (same age, but has acne, not built, works at a gas station) says "are you a reddit- goer?" 1.14 MB PNG 11/22/22(Tue)15:50:49 No.69031417 The absolute devastation of it. To not only be brought to an incel's level, but then placed below him in his own mental schema. crushing 48 Replies / 12 Images View Thread

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Anon is an engineer/biologist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)02:08:18 No.35329649 ► File: 1401035059003.jpg (35 KB, 300x562) >>35329437 & YOU'RE AWESOME. ThatAutist 10/06/14(Mon)00:07:23 No.35327430► >>35327461 >>35327471 >>35327477 >>35327508 >>35327531 >>35327550 >>35327980 >>35328111 >>35328229 >>35329131 >>35329240 >>35329267 >>35329270 >>35329334 >>35329437 >>35329536 >>35336882 >>35338254 How does a centaur wipe its ass? >> Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)00:08:05 No.35327442 ► The same way a horse does >> Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)00:08:43 No.35327455 ► How does it use a toilet? Few posts later.. Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)01:56:38 No.35329437 ► >>35329470 >>35329475 >>35329496 >>35329519 >>35329520 >>35329649 >>35330038 >>35330231 >>35330738 >>35330772 >>35330818 >>35330848 >>35330876 >>35330913 >>35331957 >>35331960 >>35332100 >>35332177 >>35332190 >>35332515 >>35332752 >>35332852 >>35333064 >>35333206 >>35333242 >>35333281 >>35334638 >>35337392 >>35338414 >>35339185 >>35339211 >>35339324 File: download.jpg (9 KB, 194x259) Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)04:38:39 No.35332427 ► File: whosawesomenurgle.jpg (101 KB, 620x531) WHO'S AWESOME? Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)00:09:22 No.35327461 ► >>35337442 >>35327430 (OP) Extreme flexibility, tools, rubbing against other objects, help from other centaurs. Take your pick, I guess. >>35327430 (OP) The horse anus is a marvel of evolutionary biology. Like most mammals, rhythmic contractions of the bowels move the feces up to the end of the gut to be expelled. What sets the horse anus apart is the bafflingly complex autonomic contractive motion of 4 muscular rings which function like sphinctoral guillotine. As the feces is squeezed out, the rings expand and the outermost ring is retracted into an interior skinfold resembling the human foreskin, leaving an interstital tissue fold to open air. The two inner rings then contract, and push apart, severing the horse feces cleanly, allowing to drop free as the outer ring folds back through the interstital flap, creating a intrinsic wiping motion with the fourth ring as it contracts back into the horses rectum. Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)03:12:15 No.35330848 >>35329437 At first I thought this was going to be some disgusting fetish thing, then I learned something about making a better ketchup dispenser. This advanced biological mechanism is so effective that many industrial companies have copied Nature's design for self-cleaning viscus liquid dispensers housed within complex machinery. >>35329437 Someone archive this s--- Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)01:59:05 No.35329475 ► >>35329437 Today I learned about why horse anuses benefit engineering. Thanks, /tg/. Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)04:13:22 No.35331957 >>35332520 File: 1400270926557.png (179 KB, 278x365) ThatAutist 10/06/14(Mon)03:06:48 No.35330738 ► >>35329437 How do you know this sir? Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)03:11:00 No.35330818 ► >>35329437 I'm having a hard time visualizing this. A thread about literal horseshit is interesting. Literally we have made a thread about horseshit and it is not only interesting, it is educational. Well done, /tg/. Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)02:00:11 No.35329496 ► File: 1370205992896.jpg (212 KB, 728x518) ts Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)02:01:33 No.35329520 ► File: 1359502187345.jpg (193 KB, 550x550) Right Now >>35329437 I don't really know if I want this to be true or not. Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)04:38:59 No.35332436 ► File: 1365103561233.gif (21 KB, 350x350) The Best Thread Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)01:58:39 No.35329470 ► File: 1362699927917.jpg (60 KB, 385x331) >>35329437 >>35329335 >>35329437 I don't even know what to say. Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)02:42:06 No.35330231 ▸ File: 1410073912412.gif (2.7 MB, 355x210) >>35329437 I f------ love you, /tg/ Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)03:16:28 No.35330913 ► >>35329437 I've never been on /an/ but I'm guessing it's something like this. Anonymous 10/06/14(Mon)03:08:33 No.35330772 ► File: 1407205651831.jpg (34 KB, 312x312) >>35329437

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Anon tells a story of a coworker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/16/22 (Wed)04:42:25 No.27732527 >>27732588 >>27732624 >>27761243 >>27763352 This was roughly a decade ago but >20 year old, male, autistic >working my first job at a grocery store after dropping out of college >slowly starting to adjust, but still socially retarded >coworker is some late twenties woman, looks like a b------- with a stocky build, tattoos, and short hair >very very friendly, but also condescending and patronising, would joke about how we're the same because she had ADHD and got overly touchy in a roughhousing kind of way >ran out of patience for her very quickly because she wasn't respecting my boundaries >she starts getting upset over this and has frequent outbursts about it >after a couple months of this tensions peak and she asks me to talk with her outside >agree to it with the assumption that she wants to fight and sucker punch her in the face the moment we get outside >she starts screaming "what the f--- is wrong with you" while bawling her eyes out >later find out that she had a thing for me and wanted to smooth things over before I clocked her My only regret is that I should've punched her after she spoke, not before.

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Anons sexuality is questionable | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 979 KB PNG 11/22/22(Tue)17:09:52 No.71092117 >be me >Straight >Get hemorrhoids because I sit too much, also spicy food >Medicine is a long tube i gotta put in my rectum to spread some cream >Straight >F--- it, i don't wanna s--- blood the rest of my life >straight >Push the thing in >Erection Why

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Anon is a creep | /r/Greentext

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Anon could be a kardashian | /r/Greentext

STRAVA TA Se 4M >>889520639 >>889520904 Anonymous 11/22/22(Tue)18:51:29 No.889517577 >>889518001 any1 use strava app for exercise motivation? Anonymous 11/22/22(Tue)19:01:04 No.889518001 >>889518132 >>889518193>>889518580 >>889518650 >>889519238 >>889519837 >>889519893 >>889520457 >>889517577 (OP) I signed up to one of those apps. >be voyeurist tight lycra cycling f----- >race against the speed time challenges >never get 1st on the leaderboards Anonymous 11/22/22(Tue)18:51:54 No.889517593 >realise they are split between genders >open app settings >change my gender to female I am not a raging f----- who is too poor to buy a gym membership, so no. >redo my routes >start beating all the girls records >sponsorship emails start flooding in >they send me free s--- with their logos on them >sell them on ebay >being a neet t----- has never been so profitable

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Anon is an Egg, Waiting to be Hatched | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 105 KB PNG 06/22/22(Wed)18:27:43 No.69144354 >mom is trying to be a fashion designer and photographer >asks if she can give me a makeover to test her skills >agree on condition she buys me a big steak >get my legs waxed and nails done >she gives me skirt, pantyhose, big padded bra, sweater, women's suit jacket and jewelry >does my hair and makeup >poses me in angles that downplays my male proportions and takes photos >I can't believe how much I look like a woman in the pictures, and pretty >get upset and tell her to delete the pictures because it's "too gay" >she is both amused and disappointed but deletes the pics and then takes me to get a big steak >nightly panic attacks and crying ever since because I wish I was the person in those pictures instead of the real me I ruined my f------ life for a steak

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