Anon is a singer | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous I'll ride my bike instead 694 KB PNG 03/23/23(Thu)11:28:08 No.72677465 >Be 17 and broke >ask a girl out to the movies >she says yes >on my way to pick her up >car starts making noises and funny smells >pull into my car garage >mechanic tells me I need new brakes >I have no money >he tells me I need a special kind of brakes which are really expensive >I know he's lying >I tell him I'm going on a date, and I need to be able to brake >he says "Well if you want to be able to brake, then you'll have to pay" >I yell at him "I want to brake free" >"I want to brake free!" >"I want to brake free from your lies, you're so self- satisfied I don't need you" >"I've got to brake free" >speed out of garage >look in rear view mirror >see my face >I am Freddie Mercury

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon’s Tragedy in 3 acts | /r/Greentext

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Anon is a degenerate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.12 MB PNG 7 Replies 03/23/23(Thu)07:07:11 No.7267578 >be alone in office >rip a pretty big fart 3 or 4 seconds >one coworker walking past stares at me Do normies expect me to quit working and go to the bathroom everytime I need to squeeze a fart? View Thread

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/15/15(Mon)21:52:53 No. 16254406 >>16254888 File: 1432930648672.png (1.44 MB, 1190x900) >>16253606 I only get those when I'm extremely exhausted, funny story actually: >at sister's house >i fall asleep sitting up on a couch >gf is sleeping with her head on my shoulder >have a dream I'm in the Vietnam war >in my dream there's a half naked Vietnamese guy in an African style tribal get-up >throws a spear at my face >simultaneously in the dream and in real life i whip my hand up to block the spear >end up popping my girl in the face >she gets scared and starts asking "ANON WHAT'S WRONG WHAT HAPPENED?" >according to her i faced her, and with my eyes still closed said, "The f----- Charlies recruited spear chuckers" >and then fell back to sleep I gave her a bloody nose.

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Anon joins a neo Nazi server | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 100 KB JPG 03/23/23(Thu)08:39:36 No.72676402 > be me > casually playing gmod > having a good time > starts to get bored of the servers > feel like it is time for a change > leaves the server and scrolls to the server list to see if there is anything interesting to play > oh what is this > 1942rp.exe > a server where you can roleplay as a nazi of even become hitler > I install the 20gb resource pack contacting everything from nazi uniforms to jew character models > log on to the server > after a few min I meet the first guy online > Says hi > a 12 year old screams into this low quality microphone from hell > calls me a n----- and shoots me > w-- > i respawn and try to interact with other players > everyone calls me a Jew and starts harassing me > gets banned for no intend to roleplay Basically I joined a neo nazi server where there Are kids playing and roleplaying as nazis. Did some investigating and found out there is a lot of videos on YouTube similar to my experience

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Anon Is Becoming Racist, No He's Not Racist Anymore, Just Kidding Even More Racist Now, Now He's Way Beyond Racist, Now He's 100x Racist Now, He's Ultra Racist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 22 minutes ago 20180706_023529.jpg (236.7 KB, 700x700) 3 REPLIES 0 IMAGES 773592874 >be me >have half j-- friend >try to relate to him by telling him about the anime I watch >doesn't watch anime >calls me a weeaboo Back to the drawing board lads.

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Anon likes music | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/23(Thu)09:30:46 No.72674092 FACT 1678408820091186.png 61 KB PNG I don't understand people who "don't like music". If I couldn't listen to music anymore I would rope. Music is one of lifes greatest pleasures. You have mental illness if you dont like music.

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Predictive programming? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: n4232d/e) 1.8 MB JPG 03/08/23 (Wed)15:33:26 No.418904322 >the newest Call of Dutys bad guys are the Mexican cartel >one mission puts you in an AC130 in some rural Mexican town and encourages to you level the entire town >Dept of Defense works closely with COD producers to make them more "credible advocates Predictive programming?

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Anon is strong :D | /r/Greentext

50 KB JPG ALRIGHT/FIT/ - THIS IS WHAT WE LIFT FOR WHAT THE F--- >visit dad >asks me to buy a christmas tree >we go buy a nice one >carry it around like a slave >mom is happy >feelsgoodman >i lift it into the house >my dad says hes not feeling well >COLLAPSES >W-- >mom panics >dad just laying there knocked out >we put him in a safe position quickly >my heart is racing >i decide to LIFT him up and carry him to the couch >mom calls 911 >im panicking too >figure that the hospital is not so far away >LIFT him back up and carry him into car >mom is screaming at me but i cant hear s--- >race to hospital >LIFT him out of the car and carry him into ER >scream around like an autist >mfw they told me he had a stroke and probably would have died if it wasnt for my lifts

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A buddy of Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 766858277 570.8 KB GIF 9 min. ago >needed volunteer hours to graduate >use to volunteer at library >making programs >setting programs up, >one program was reading buddies >this small kid used to always come >we would sit at a table and read >he'd read to me >i'd read to him >we'd finish a book and talk about it >see if the kid understands what the book was about and s--- >read book on friendship >talk about it >before kid leaves he gives me a smile and tells me i'm his best friend >MFW

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anon predicts a future game | /r/Greentext

>2026 >Sony has a special showcase >First Person Shooter game revealed >Weird looking armored guys come out of a weird plane >Immediately cuts to the gameplay >It looks amazing visually >"we must fight for our freedom" the main character says in a British accent >The group makes their way into what looks like a castle >Turns out to be a government, they have the president in their sights >President suddenly blasts a beam from his hand >Armored group shoots rapidly, no shots hit >They run away as the music picks up, eventually end up at a cliff 1.1 MB PNG >Two armored characters left, they take their helmets off >One of them is a generic army guy >Other one has long, spiky hair >Screen fades to black as the title comes in >Final Fantasy XVII >Fans s--- on the game all the way until launch >Ends up being pretty good, gets 3 spinoff games and a bad movie >Square Enix makes their money, rinse and repeat

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Anon is suffering from succes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/23(Wed)17:15:59 No.72670401 >spend years lifting in the gym, get muscular >realize I actually want to be a femboy with a soft girly body >have to somehow lose all the muscle I've built over the years 700 KB PNG Why was I so stupid

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Anon Gets rejected | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/23(Wed)22:54:42 No.72671438 >Be me >Have girl best friend >9/10 qt 3.14 >Shes a year older than me but shorter >Sometimes hang out but usually just text cuz shes really anxious of going outside >Extremely smart completely straight A's with AP classes during highschool >We're complete opposites but still get along massively >After a bit develop a crush on her >Hold out to see if shes trying to give me any signs >She becomes more and more touchy with me hugging me after we say bye to each other after we hang out >Letting me put my head on her shoulder >Occasionally hold hands but shes a little shy sometimes >Eventually get the courage to confess and ask her if she wants to get in a relationship >She says she'll think about it 220 KB PNG >Genuinely thinks about it and tells me shes not ready for a relationship but if she was she would've picked me >Say ok and move on >Things aren't awkward between us >MFW I technically had a win but at the same time didn't

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