Anon is a singer | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous I'll ride my bike instead 694 KB PNG 03/23/23(Thu)11:28:08 No.72677465 >Be 17 and broke >ask a girl out to the movies >she says yes >on my way to pick her up >car starts making noises and funny smells >pull into my car garage >mechanic tells me I need new brakes >I have no money >he tells me I need a special kind of brakes which are really expensive >I know he's lying >I tell him I'm going on a date, and I need to be able to brake >he says "Well if you want to be able to brake, then you'll have to pay" >I yell at him "I want to brake free" >"I want to brake free!" >"I want to brake free from your lies, you're so self- satisfied I don't need you" >"I've got to brake free" >speed out of garage >look in rear view mirror >see my face >I am Freddie Mercury

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon’s Tragedy in 3 acts | /r/Greentext

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Anon is a degenerate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.12 MB PNG 7 Replies 03/23/23(Thu)07:07:11 No.7267578 >be alone in office >rip a pretty big fart 3 or 4 seconds >one coworker walking past stares at me Do normies expect me to quit working and go to the bathroom everytime I need to squeeze a fart? View Thread

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/15/15(Mon)21:52:53 No. 16254406 >>16254888 File: 1432930648672.png (1.44 MB, 1190x900) >>16253606 I only get those when I'm extremely exhausted, funny story actually: >at sister's house >i fall asleep sitting up on a couch >gf is sleeping with her head on my shoulder >have a dream I'm in the Vietnam war >in my dream there's a half naked Vietnamese guy in an African style tribal get-up >throws a spear at my face >simultaneously in the dream and in real life i whip my hand up to block the spear >end up popping my girl in the face >she gets scared and starts asking "ANON WHAT'S WRONG WHAT HAPPENED?" >according to her i faced her, and with my eyes still closed said, "The f----- Charlies recruited spear chuckers" >and then fell back to sleep I gave her a bloody nose.

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Anon joins a neo Nazi server | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 100 KB JPG 03/23/23(Thu)08:39:36 No.72676402 > be me > casually playing gmod > having a good time > starts to get bored of the servers > feel like it is time for a change > leaves the server and scrolls to the server list to see if there is anything interesting to play > oh what is this > 1942rp.exe > a server where you can roleplay as a nazi of even become hitler > I install the 20gb resource pack contacting everything from nazi uniforms to jew character models > log on to the server > after a few min I meet the first guy online > Says hi > a 12 year old screams into this low quality microphone from hell > calls me a n----- and shoots me > w-- > i respawn and try to interact with other players > everyone calls me a Jew and starts harassing me > gets banned for no intend to roleplay Basically I joined a neo nazi server where there Are kids playing and roleplaying as nazis. Did some investigating and found out there is a lot of videos on YouTube similar to my experience

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Anon Is Becoming Racist, No He's Not Racist Anymore, Just Kidding Even More Racist Now, Now He's Way Beyond Racist, Now He's 100x Racist Now, He's Ultra Racist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 22 minutes ago 20180706_023529.jpg (236.7 KB, 700x700) 3 REPLIES 0 IMAGES 773592874 >be me >have half j-- friend >try to relate to him by telling him about the anime I watch >doesn't watch anime >calls me a weeaboo Back to the drawing board lads.

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Anon likes music | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/23(Thu)09:30:46 No.72674092 FACT 1678408820091186.png 61 KB PNG I don't understand people who "don't like music". If I couldn't listen to music anymore I would rope. Music is one of lifes greatest pleasures. You have mental illness if you dont like music.

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Predictive programming? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: n4232d/e) 1.8 MB JPG 03/08/23 (Wed)15:33:26 No.418904322 >the newest Call of Dutys bad guys are the Mexican cartel >one mission puts you in an AC130 in some rural Mexican town and encourages to you level the entire town >Dept of Defense works closely with COD producers to make them more "credible advocates Predictive programming?

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Anon is strong :D | /r/Greentext

50 KB JPG ALRIGHT/FIT/ - THIS IS WHAT WE LIFT FOR WHAT THE F--- >visit dad >asks me to buy a christmas tree >we go buy a nice one >carry it around like a slave >mom is happy >feelsgoodman >i lift it into the house >my dad says hes not feeling well >COLLAPSES >W-- >mom panics >dad just laying there knocked out >we put him in a safe position quickly >my heart is racing >i decide to LIFT him up and carry him to the couch >mom calls 911 >im panicking too >figure that the hospital is not so far away >LIFT him back up and carry him into car >mom is screaming at me but i cant hear s--- >race to hospital >LIFT him out of the car and carry him into ER >scream around like an autist >mfw they told me he had a stroke and probably would have died if it wasnt for my lifts

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A buddy of Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 766858277 570.8 KB GIF 9 min. ago >needed volunteer hours to graduate >use to volunteer at library >making programs >setting programs up, >one program was reading buddies >this small kid used to always come >we would sit at a table and read >he'd read to me >i'd read to him >we'd finish a book and talk about it >see if the kid understands what the book was about and s--- >read book on friendship >talk about it >before kid leaves he gives me a smile and tells me i'm his best friend >MFW

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anon predicts a future game | /r/Greentext

>2026 >Sony has a special showcase >First Person Shooter game revealed >Weird looking armored guys come out of a weird plane >Immediately cuts to the gameplay >It looks amazing visually >"we must fight for our freedom" the main character says in a British accent >The group makes their way into what looks like a castle >Turns out to be a government, they have the president in their sights >President suddenly blasts a beam from his hand >Armored group shoots rapidly, no shots hit >They run away as the music picks up, eventually end up at a cliff 1.1 MB PNG >Two armored characters left, they take their helmets off >One of them is a generic army guy >Other one has long, spiky hair >Screen fades to black as the title comes in >Final Fantasy XVII >Fans s--- on the game all the way until launch >Ends up being pretty good, gets 3 spinoff games and a bad movie >Square Enix makes their money, rinse and repeat

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Anon is suffering from succes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/23(Wed)17:15:59 No.72670401 >spend years lifting in the gym, get muscular >realize I actually want to be a femboy with a soft girly body >have to somehow lose all the muscle I've built over the years 700 KB PNG Why was I so stupid

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Anon Gets rejected | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/23(Wed)22:54:42 No.72671438 >Be me >Have girl best friend >9/10 qt 3.14 >Shes a year older than me but shorter >Sometimes hang out but usually just text cuz shes really anxious of going outside >Extremely smart completely straight A's with AP classes during highschool >We're complete opposites but still get along massively >After a bit develop a crush on her >Hold out to see if shes trying to give me any signs >She becomes more and more touchy with me hugging me after we say bye to each other after we hang out >Letting me put my head on her shoulder >Occasionally hold hands but shes a little shy sometimes >Eventually get the courage to confess and ask her if she wants to get in a relationship >She says she'll think about it 220 KB PNG >Genuinely thinks about it and tells me shes not ready for a relationship but if she was she would've picked me >Say ok and move on >Things aren't awkward between us >MFW I technically had a win but at the same time didn't

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