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Anonymous 05/25/13(Sat)00:55 No.16442287 Replies: >>16442341 >>16442343 >>16442433 >>16442460 >>16442510 >listening to music >cleaning up my man cave >gf says she is going to the store >decide it's time for a fap >wait a few minutes after she left >strip naked because that's how I do >searching for that perfect fap video >getting close hear the door open and shut >shut my computer down but keep fapping hoping gf will come down and finish me off >decide I am going to surprise her and j--- the second she walks in (seemed better at the time) >hear someone walking down the stairs >decide to stand for this >as the door opens shoot my load all over some dude in a ski mask >I literally fall back stunned and reach for my gun >he is yelling w-- >hold him at gunpoint until the cops come >cop asks what is all over the guys shirt and pants >explain and give my statement >I can still hear them laughing...

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Carbonara Cuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/22(Mon)23:02:20 No.18269511 >get a tinder date >have couple of drinks >hit it off >she doesn't want to go home >bring her back to my place >cook a carbonara but f--- it up >it's scrambled eggs with pasta >she tries to be nice and nibbles it >roommate comes home >notices what happens >asks to talk to me in private >says not to worry and he's gonna save my date >whips up a perfect carbonara for us and leaves to his room >rest of the night goes OK >we don't f--- and she stops acting interested >next morning she says she had fun but is not interested >next week roommate brings her over >realize I've been carbonara cucked >have to hear them banging for the 3 months they dated can't even be mad >>18269532 # >>18270787 #

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Anon gets fired | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 336 KB JPG 11/13/22(Sun)03:07:03 No.888984381 > get laid off from twitter > go home > enter the garage > close the door > sit in my car > turn it on > wait > 3 hours later the battery finally dies > goddamn you Elon View Thread

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Anon likes Fallout New Vegas | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Fallout NEW VEGAS 12 KB JPG 11/12/22(Sat)20:29:40 No.888982766 2 Replies >is the best title ever released by Bethesda How did Todd f--- up the fallout series so bad after NV? Fallout could have been the best intellectual property in videogames EVER, but then Bethesda made Fallout 4 and it all went to s---. View Thread : Anonymous >>888982766 (OP) # >fallout new vegas >most loved by trannies 11/12/22(Sat)20:31:04 No.888982830

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Anon has lost hope | /r/Greentext

10/14/22(Fri)23:54:06 No.70593258 Anonymous >>70583485 (OP) # i hate my life so much it's unreal. >finally finished with stem research degree >health went to s--- working on thesis >size of a textbook with some neat things no one will ever bother to actually read >p much worked 16hr days erry day of erry week to get it done >now diagnosed with some p bad preconditions >got job at university >broke down from massive burnout in a month >now unemployed >looking for work in industry with economy gone to s--- and reference list of kinda burned bridges >all frens have families and jobs so little time to hang >no grill in sight, last relationship was half a decade ago that nearly got me kill idk what category this puts me in but some kind of retard/failure for sure.

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Anon internalizes boyhood trauma | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>888946857 # >tfw I lost my virginity at 10 but haven't had sex since 11/12/22(Sat)09:22:07 No.888951801

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Anon has uranus on the mind | /r/Greentext

Anonymous dumb words stuck in your head All this drip got em Mortyfied *** 91 KB JPG 11/12/22(Sat)00:28:16 No.888935118 >rectum >uranus >ouranus >theiranus >myanus >hisanus >heranus >ouranus >discombobulate

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Anon discovers (invents?) bloodface | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/11/22(Fri)18:43:57 No.70950527 >>70950250 # more stories >I had a lot of nosebleeds as a child >apparently there were multiple instances of me slathering the blood all over my face like I was some f------ indian during the colonization era >have no recollection of this until my mom mentions this one night while eating dinner

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Lesbian love story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/12/10(Tue)12:31 No.75545XXX File1286901093.jpg-(48 KB, 678x444, 1233814009623.jpg) [!] >Pretend I'm a girl just to get items >Meet a great girl in the process that convinces me to join her guild. >Become best friends >She turns out to be a lesbian >Keep pretending even if it feels wrong >7 months of online dating and cybering >She tells me we have to talk >Think she wants to meet IRL and get ready to tell her the horrible truth >She tells me she's really a guy pretending he's a lesbian >My f------ face when we've been two guys cybering lesbian sex for 7 months

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Anon have sex | /r/Greentext

No.55008835 10/23/19(Wed)18:13:21 download-2.jpg JPG 8.7 KiB 171x171 >be me >in health class >teacher says we are going to start the sex ed unit >mfw my name is Ed >later virgins No.55009191 10/23/19 (Wed)18:49:33 I hate this f------ website so f------ much :

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Anon tries to do something nice for their spouse | /r/Greentext

I don't know what else to do. >my wife has been talking about a 5K coming up and how fun it would be >I signed us up, and she was elated when she got the confirmation email >She gets home and thanks me for deciding to sign her up >Tell her I am looking forward to running with her >An immediate confused look appears on her face "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE RUNNING WITH ME?" >A few weeks ago she said my clothes looked tighter 279 KB JPG on me >I saw this as an opportunity to start getting myself more active >She gets increasingly more upset when I tell her this and even cries >She says that I am ruining time she wanted to spend with her friends. >I offer to drive separately. I offer to start at the back of the pack as opposed to with her. >Nothing I offer or say is acceptable and now I have "destroyed the entire weekend." I just want to make my wife happy and be a better version of myself for her. I don't understand and she won't talk to me.

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Anon creates a character in Monster Hunter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Looking right because you left Looking up because you let me down 12/15/18(Sat)08:06:41 No.442993202 Looking left because you don't treat me right Looking down because you f----- up looking-right-because-you-left-looking-up-because-you-let-3318472.png 371 KB PNG >Buys Monster Hunter World in PS4 sale >Decides to create the most attractive girl I can to play as >Finish the character creator >Do a second take and look closely at her face >Slowly realize I have subconsciously created the exact image of my ex gf Its been 4 years when does it stop hurting bros

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Anon eats rabbit's food | /r/Greentext

oard /fit/ - Fitness : Anonymous Settings Mobile Home 10/24/22(Mon)05:55:50 No.68734125 >day 346 of wagecuckery >time for lunch >sit in breakroom, eating my prepared brownrice, broccoli, beans, and salmon 11 KB JPG >yummy yummy, I am happy >tubby mcfatlard co-worker sits down to eat his 8 oz bag of cheetos, footlong subway turkey, cheese avocado burrito >his presence bothers me, as usual >ignore him >for the first time, he turns to me and rattles on about his type 2 diabetes diagnoses >"yeah they're gonna make me take these insulin shots before I eat. Really tough disease. Some people have all the luck." >give a halfway smile and try ignoring him >dude eats his cheetos and lets out small moans, as usual >f--- it >"maybe you should just try eating healthier?" >here it comes >he just says "like you eat?" >"Something like that yeah." >"that's rabbit food." Slowly, I began to hate them.

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Greentext Stories - Anon finishes early | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 05/25/13(Sat)00:55 No.16442287 Replies: >>16442341 >>16442343 >>16442433 >>16442460 >>16442510 >listening to music >cleaning up my man cave >gf says she is going to the store >decide it's time for a fap >wait a few minutes after she left >strip naked because that's how I do >searching for that perfect fap video >getting close hear the door open and shut >shut my computer down but keep fapping hoping gf will come down and finish me off >decide I am going to surprise her and j--- the second she walks in (seemed better at the time) >hear someone walking down the stairs >decide to stand for this >as the door opens shoot my load all over some dude in a ski mask >I literally fall back stunned and reach for my gun >he is yelling w-- >hold him at gunpoint until the cops come >cop asks what is all over the guys shirt and pants >explain and give my statement >I can still hear them laughing...

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