Anon finishes early | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 05/25/13(Sat)00:55 No.16442287 Replies: >>16442341 >>16442343 >>16442433 >>16442460 >>16442510 >listening to music >cleaning up my man cave >gf says she is going to the store >decide it's time for a fap >wait a few minutes after she left >strip naked because that's how I do >searching for that perfect fap video >getting close hear the door open and shut >shut my computer down but keep fapping hoping gf will come down and finish me off >decide I am going to surprise her and j--- the second she walks in (seemed better at the time) >hear someone walking down the stairs >decide to stand for this >as the door opens shoot my load all over some dude in a ski mask >I literally fall back stunned and reach for my gun >he is yelling w-- >hold him at gunpoint until the cops come >cop asks what is all over the guys shirt and pants >explain and give my statement >I can still hear them laughing...

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Carbonara Cuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/22(Mon)23:02:20 No.18269511 >get a tinder date >have couple of drinks >hit it off >she doesn't want to go home >bring her back to my place >cook a carbonara but f--- it up >it's scrambled eggs with pasta >she tries to be nice and nibbles it >roommate comes home >notices what happens >asks to talk to me in private >says not to worry and he's gonna save my date >whips up a perfect carbonara for us and leaves to his room >rest of the night goes OK >we don't f--- and she stops acting interested >next morning she says she had fun but is not interested >next week roommate brings her over >realize I've been carbonara cucked >have to hear them banging for the 3 months they dated can't even be mad >>18269532 # >>18270787 #

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Anon gets fired | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 336 KB JPG 11/13/22(Sun)03:07:03 No.888984381 > get laid off from twitter > go home > enter the garage > close the door > sit in my car > turn it on > wait > 3 hours later the battery finally dies > goddamn you Elon View Thread

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Anon likes Fallout New Vegas | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Fallout NEW VEGAS 12 KB JPG 11/12/22(Sat)20:29:40 No.888982766 2 Replies >is the best title ever released by Bethesda How did Todd f--- up the fallout series so bad after NV? Fallout could have been the best intellectual property in videogames EVER, but then Bethesda made Fallout 4 and it all went to s---. View Thread : Anonymous >>888982766 (OP) # >fallout new vegas >most loved by trannies 11/12/22(Sat)20:31:04 No.888982830

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Anon has lost hope | /r/Greentext

10/14/22(Fri)23:54:06 No.70593258 Anonymous >>70583485 (OP) # i hate my life so much it's unreal. >finally finished with stem research degree >health went to s--- working on thesis >size of a textbook with some neat things no one will ever bother to actually read >p much worked 16hr days erry day of erry week to get it done >now diagnosed with some p bad preconditions >got job at university >broke down from massive burnout in a month >now unemployed >looking for work in industry with economy gone to s--- and reference list of kinda burned bridges >all frens have families and jobs so little time to hang >no grill in sight, last relationship was half a decade ago that nearly got me kill idk what category this puts me in but some kind of retard/failure for sure.

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Anon internalizes boyhood trauma | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>888946857 # >tfw I lost my virginity at 10 but haven't had sex since 11/12/22(Sat)09:22:07 No.888951801

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Anon has uranus on the mind | /r/Greentext

Anonymous dumb words stuck in your head All this drip got em Mortyfied *** 91 KB JPG 11/12/22(Sat)00:28:16 No.888935118 >rectum >uranus >ouranus >theiranus >myanus >hisanus >heranus >ouranus >discombobulate

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Anon discovers (invents?) bloodface | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/11/22(Fri)18:43:57 No.70950527 >>70950250 # more stories >I had a lot of nosebleeds as a child >apparently there were multiple instances of me slathering the blood all over my face like I was some f------ indian during the colonization era >have no recollection of this until my mom mentions this one night while eating dinner

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Lesbian love story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/12/10(Tue)12:31 No.75545XXX File1286901093.jpg-(48 KB, 678x444, 1233814009623.jpg) [!] >Pretend I'm a girl just to get items >Meet a great girl in the process that convinces me to join her guild. >Become best friends >She turns out to be a lesbian >Keep pretending even if it feels wrong >7 months of online dating and cybering >She tells me we have to talk >Think she wants to meet IRL and get ready to tell her the horrible truth >She tells me she's really a guy pretending he's a lesbian >My f------ face when we've been two guys cybering lesbian sex for 7 months

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Anon have sex | /r/Greentext

No.55008835 10/23/19(Wed)18:13:21 download-2.jpg JPG 8.7 KiB 171x171 >be me >in health class >teacher says we are going to start the sex ed unit >mfw my name is Ed >later virgins No.55009191 10/23/19 (Wed)18:49:33 I hate this f------ website so f------ much :

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Anon tries to do something nice for their spouse | /r/Greentext

I don't know what else to do. >my wife has been talking about a 5K coming up and how fun it would be >I signed us up, and she was elated when she got the confirmation email >She gets home and thanks me for deciding to sign her up >Tell her I am looking forward to running with her >An immediate confused look appears on her face "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE RUNNING WITH ME?" >A few weeks ago she said my clothes looked tighter 279 KB JPG on me >I saw this as an opportunity to start getting myself more active >She gets increasingly more upset when I tell her this and even cries >She says that I am ruining time she wanted to spend with her friends. >I offer to drive separately. I offer to start at the back of the pack as opposed to with her. >Nothing I offer or say is acceptable and now I have "destroyed the entire weekend." I just want to make my wife happy and be a better version of myself for her. I don't understand and she won't talk to me.

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Anon creates a character in Monster Hunter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Looking right because you left Looking up because you let me down 12/15/18(Sat)08:06:41 No.442993202 Looking left because you don't treat me right Looking down because you f----- up looking-right-because-you-left-looking-up-because-you-let-3318472.png 371 KB PNG >Buys Monster Hunter World in PS4 sale >Decides to create the most attractive girl I can to play as >Finish the character creator >Do a second take and look closely at her face >Slowly realize I have subconsciously created the exact image of my ex gf Its been 4 years when does it stop hurting bros

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Anon eats rabbit's food | /r/Greentext

oard /fit/ - Fitness : Anonymous Settings Mobile Home 10/24/22(Mon)05:55:50 No.68734125 >day 346 of wagecuckery >time for lunch >sit in breakroom, eating my prepared brownrice, broccoli, beans, and salmon 11 KB JPG >yummy yummy, I am happy >tubby mcfatlard co-worker sits down to eat his 8 oz bag of cheetos, footlong subway turkey, cheese avocado burrito >his presence bothers me, as usual >ignore him >for the first time, he turns to me and rattles on about his type 2 diabetes diagnoses >"yeah they're gonna make me take these insulin shots before I eat. Really tough disease. Some people have all the luck." >give a halfway smile and try ignoring him >dude eats his cheetos and lets out small moans, as usual >f--- it >"maybe you should just try eating healthier?" >here it comes >he just says "like you eat?" >"Something like that yeah." >"that's rabbit food." Slowly, I began to hate them.

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