Anon have sex | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

No.55008835 10/23/19(Wed)18:13:21 download-2.jpg JPG 8.7 KiB 171x171 >be me >in health class >teacher says we are going to start the sex ed unit >mfw my name is Ed >later virgins No.55009191 10/23/19 (Wed)18:49:33 I hate this f------ website so f------ much :

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon tries to do something nice for their spouse | /r/Greentext

I don't know what else to do. >my wife has been talking about a 5K coming up and how fun it would be >I signed us up, and she was elated when she got the confirmation email >She gets home and thanks me for deciding to sign her up >Tell her I am looking forward to running with her >An immediate confused look appears on her face "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE RUNNING WITH ME?" >A few weeks ago she said my clothes looked tighter 279 KB JPG on me >I saw this as an opportunity to start getting myself more active >She gets increasingly more upset when I tell her this and even cries >She says that I am ruining time she wanted to spend with her friends. >I offer to drive separately. I offer to start at the back of the pack as opposed to with her. >Nothing I offer or say is acceptable and now I have "destroyed the entire weekend." I just want to make my wife happy and be a better version of myself for her. I don't understand and she won't talk to me.

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Anon creates a character in Monster Hunter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Looking right because you left Looking up because you let me down 12/15/18(Sat)08:06:41 No.442993202 Looking left because you don't treat me right Looking down because you f----- up looking-right-because-you-left-looking-up-because-you-let-3318472.png 371 KB PNG >Buys Monster Hunter World in PS4 sale >Decides to create the most attractive girl I can to play as >Finish the character creator >Do a second take and look closely at her face >Slowly realize I have subconsciously created the exact image of my ex gf Its been 4 years when does it stop hurting bros

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Anon eats rabbit's food | /r/Greentext

oard /fit/ - Fitness : Anonymous Settings Mobile Home 10/24/22(Mon)05:55:50 No.68734125 >day 346 of wagecuckery >time for lunch >sit in breakroom, eating my prepared brownrice, broccoli, beans, and salmon 11 KB JPG >yummy yummy, I am happy >tubby mcfatlard co-worker sits down to eat his 8 oz bag of cheetos, footlong subway turkey, cheese avocado burrito >his presence bothers me, as usual >ignore him >for the first time, he turns to me and rattles on about his type 2 diabetes diagnoses >"yeah they're gonna make me take these insulin shots before I eat. Really tough disease. Some people have all the luck." >give a halfway smile and try ignoring him >dude eats his cheetos and lets out small moans, as usual >f--- it >"maybe you should just try eating healthier?" >here it comes >he just says "like you eat?" >"Something like that yeah." >"that's rabbit food." Slowly, I began to hate them.

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Anons gay brother wants to visit the world cup | /r/Greentext

Anonymous GIGA 1.68 MB GIF 10/27/22(Thu)11:48:17 No.124717100 >older brother is gay >very flamboyant >wears rainbow flags on all his clothes, floppy wristed, has a backpack which is printed so it looks like a naked man without arms or legs etc >insists on going to Qatar >says he will be himself, says I am hoomophobic for saying he is clearly gay >said "if the police bother me, I'll sprinkle them with GAY FAIRYTALE MAGIC" >my sister responded with "yassss" He's going to die isn't he? Suppose its my fault for letting him blow me when we were both in our early twenties >>124717113 # >>124717127 #

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anon likes brochures | /r/Greentext

Anonymous SPTSPAN 11/12/22(Sat)07:57:07 No.888950927 JESSE JAMES BANK MUSEUM EB6F9F1F-FAED-4FAF-A684-5714341DA5CD.jpg 45 KB JPG walk in > tell the docents to put 'em up > it's a robbery > "sir, this is a museum, not a bank" > demand all of their brochures > "don't be a hero, just put the goods in the bag" > now I've got all of the brochures

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Anon takes a shit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 18 KB JPG 11/12/22(Sat)07:04:09 No.173641010 >university only has intersex toilets >have to poop >lock the door and get to business >lock was actually broken >girl accidently walked in as I was unloading a massive s--- Whoever thought that these toilets were a good idea is an idiot 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is under a wrong impression | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 30 KB JPG 01/06/22(Thu)19:55:09 No.66876081 >First day of college, orientation day >Nurse is going around handing out condoms to everyone >Makes eye contact with me, pauses for a brief second >Doesn't give me one She wanted me to do her raw, r-right

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Anon school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous School 08/24/22(Wed)11:23:29 No.884460822 >be me, high school >Don't know s--- in class >Decide to download an app to cheat >The app takes me to a YouTube channel where a guy tells me answers and explains how to do the problem so I can pass the tests >I use this to get through high school Did anyone else cheat like this? 142 KB PNG 08/24/22(Wed)11:24:42 No.884460867 Anonymous >>884460822 (OP) # W-- are you on about? : Anonymous You literally just learned.. with extra steps 08/24/22(Wed)11:24:50 No.884460873

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Anon cums to Rami Malek | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 109 KB JPG 11/11/22(Fri)22:25:25 No.888929440 >Be 17 gf 16 go to the movies to see Night at the museum >late showing so theater empty >both horny af >tell her to sit on my lap and raise skirt >lower her panties she starts grinding me >she asks for condom tell her I forgot to bring >into the pooper it goes >she takes it like a champ >starts riding me really hard >close to c------ close eyes >I grab her by the waist she is 5'0 very light >basically use her as a living fleshlight >rami malek appears on screen as I c-- >weird c-- my gf presses down real hard feel my peen go in really deep >after balls empty she stays for 5 mins on top of me while im inside her ass >we hear theater doors open she gets off and asscum drips all over my lap >couple sits next to us >mfw watched movie with c-- drying on my pants

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Anon is in a midlife crisis | /r/Greentext

07/04/17(Tue)09:52:59 No.38148964 >it'll get better in high school >it'll get better in college >it'l' get better in university >it will get better when i have a job 142 KB PNG >ive wasted my entire f------ life, my youth is gone ive missed out on love and any important milestones in a normal persons life : Anonymous View Thread

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Kissing cousin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 05/28/22(Sat) 19:14:21 No.68820108 >be me >have retarded bimbo cousin come over >stay in my room as much as possible to avoid her, mostly studying or playing games >she comes in my room while im playing >"heyyyyyy anonnnnn, can i talk to your friends? theyd looove me" >she puts on my headphones and tries "seducing" (?) my friends >obviously doesnt work, so she becomes super hostile >"you fat f----, total losers", spewing random insults at them >one of them replies back "anon called you a burden" >she begins crying and screaming at me, goes to complain to her mother How the f--- do people like her exist? I'm ashamed to be related to her. I feel bad I let my friends listen to her b-------

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Anon scores low on a test | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 30 KB JPG low iq idiot. 11/09/22(Wed)17:08:07 No.70916511 >took a professional iq test >scored an 84 does this mean I should give up on life? I mean the test was just a bunch of f------ scribbles and guessing. Is the growth mindset a good mindset because right now it feels like the growth mindset is b------- and I'm a

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