Planned obsolescence | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 519 KB PNG 08/18/22(Thu)20:58:02 No.69868547 >grandma needs heart surgery >"well, we got an opening in January" w--

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Ellen is Anon. | /r/Greentext

510 KB PNG >eats ur kids intestines

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Fem-Anon tries to make new friends | /r/Greentext

File: Campus_Reform Pepe_c0-21-(...).jpg (74 KB, 1200x700) CAMPUSREFORM AVOID FASCIST DOG WHISTLES! Rights Anonymous 08/18/22(Thu)17:34:17 No.69864235 >be me, femanon in college >In a big friend group that also consists of multiple smaller friend groups >one of the smaller groups consists of the nerdy and out of shape "unpopular" kids >The people I normally sit with aren't here >decide to give the unpopulars a chance because they looked nice. >sit down at their table, ask if I could join them >They said sure, and I asked what they were chatting about >One of the pipes up: "Oh we were just talking about our testosterone gains from no phap >A little weird, but I appreciate the honesty >I ask if they saw the new Rick & Morty, (This was a while ago) "Yea I saw it, I didn't think women watched it though" >Well yea it's a good show "The thing is most women aren't capable of grasping some of the advanced humor" >I ask him to elaborate "Women are biologically designed to seek men with the best genes and have sex as much as possible" "there's not enough room in their head to process the complicated topics that the show introduces" >I tell them that was very misogynistic and not true at all. "Then have sex with me" >What? "If it's not true that women only have sex with men with genetically superior men, then have sex with me." >I told him that women don't want to have sex with him because he's a weirdo with a s----- personality, not 'genes' >You should have seen the look on his face >they sit in silence for a few seconds then another one stands up "Well if we want to get to out dinner in time we'll have to leave pretty soon." >They all nod in agreement, get up and leave. >It's hard to believe that people like this exist until you meet one in person.

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Femanon meets an Incell | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2022-04-12 183738.png (55 KB, 247x237) Anonymous 08/18/22(Thu)16:00:54 No.69863130 ► ok I haven't been on 4chan in forever, but I felt the need to post this experience I just had >On a date, guy was ok looking but definitely below my usual standard. >I figured I'd give him a chance, cause you never know. >Got to the restaurant, he was already seated. >walk over to him, before I can even sit down he blurts out "Just so you know, I'm only paying for what I eat. >first red flag, but ok >I try to make small talk but he's just blatantly staring directly at my boobs >I try to be cool about so I say "my eyes are up here" and laugh >"Oh yea sorry lol" (He literally said lol) >says he had something he wants to show me >pulls out his phone to show me his clash of clans progress >tell him that's pretty cool >this is how the rest of that date played out: >Him: "Oh I have an important question for you" Me: Yea what's up? >"How many guys have you had sex with?" What? >"Just asking because I don't like dating w----- who have slept with more than 3 guys" Uhh, that's none of your business >"It's a simple question" Uhhh >At this point I'm feeling uncomfortable so I excuse myself and get the hell out of there. >Posting this now so you dumbasses can see what morons you look like, don't be an incell, it's very unattractive.

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Vegeta plays fortnite | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ROYALE "You maybe stronger than me in the real world, Kakarot. But in the gaming world, I AM the strongest." 1.07 MB JPG "Now die." Vegeta pulled out his purple pump shotgun and shot Goku point blank. The words '#1 Victory Royale lit up his monitor and illuminated his face. 05/21/21(Fri)21:12:13 No.222593404 "Nice one Vegeta! Man, I need to learn how to build... Maybe Goten can teach me.. hey Vegeta do you thi-" Vegeta ignored him and looked around the room. Vegeta should be happy, he beat Goku fair and square and yet... He felt empty. Sure he's better than Goku at Fortnite, but did it matter? No matter how many times he wins Kakarot is always eager to play another round with him. Vegeta wanted Goku to scream at him, and get angry at him for being better than he was. He wanted his pride to be validated... And yet Goku is actually congratulating him on his victory. "Damn you Kakarot..." Vegeta whispered under his breath. Even in defeat, Goku is able to be the better man. If Vegeta were in Goku's place, he'd have already blasted his PC to kingdom come. >>222593635 #

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anon gives amazing life advice about breakups | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 46 KB JPG Why the f--- do you care? If someone leaves you, they are saying they don't want to care about you anymore. Why the f--- would you care about someone who doesn't care about you? She's moved on. She's not making you look like a fool, you're acting like a fool by caring about someone who doesn't care about you. 08/19/22 (Fri)03:27:21 No.884148145 >>884147718 (OP) # >she left you. Okay so she's no longer a part of your life. When I was 26 I tried to kill myself because my girlfriend of 5 years left me for another man. After my twin brother finding me and a 9 hour surgery, 12 days in the trauma unit, 6 days in the behavioral health unit, 10 months of living with my parents, 7 months of unemployment, 5 months of dialectical behavioral therapy, 4 other girls. I learned that I'm pretty cool and I shouldn't waste a squirt of piss (outside of basic human respect.) on people who don't also think I'm pretty cool. The guy she left me for left her for another DUDE. And that was the cherry on top. Nobody can love you until you love yourself: that's the god damn truth. Why should someone love you if you don't even think you deserve love? Today I'm pushing 30, I have a family and a new daughter. I love my life. If I had killed myself over a girl who left me for a f--. I wouldn't get to see the most beautiful smile in the world that is my daughter looking at me. Don't get hung up In the past and what could've been: think of how you can do better. Because you can do better. >>884148218 # >>884148250 # >>884148294 # >>884149154 # >>884149278 # >>884149911 # Anonymous >>884148145 # This : Anonymous >>884148145 # That was god damn beautiful anon Anonymous >>884148145 # holy f------ based. >>884148366 # 08/19/22 (Fri)03:29:59 No.884148218 08/19/22 (Fri)03:30:58 No.884148250 08/19/22 (Fri)03:32:20 No.884148294 your words of wisdom may have actually just saved my life.

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Anon Browses 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/22(Thu)11:54:05 No.69861204 THIS IS FINE. fine.jpg 546 KB JPG >put music on >get on 4chan and stay on 4chan until i pass out from exhaustion >pass out >wake up >get on 4chan again

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Anon was headchef at McD | /r/Greentext

File: 5BDBCD79-DC13-4325-8242-C(...).png (284 KB, 469x452) I just got fired from my job at mcdonalds Anonymous 08/18/22(Thu)08:21:21 No.884093062 >>884093197 >>884093233 >>884094554 >>884094934 >>884094953 >>884095019 >>884095353 >>884095458 >>884095655 >>884095916 >>884096071 >>884096211 >>884096448 I'm literally so f------ p----- right now listen to this s--- >be me, 24 y/o NEET living with parents, never had a job, being forced to work part time at local mcdonalds by my bitch dad >get the job >all my coworkers are f------ stupid telling me how to do s--- i already know how to do >working on grill and some hoe named louise is trying to show me how to grill a f------ burger like im 2 >louise tells me i have to use new sets of blue gloves every f------ time i touch the quarter pounders >i naturally dont give a f--- >after she "shows me the ropes" she leaves to take care of something else and i can finally chill >suddenly everyone starts yelling at me to start cooking meat faster for some f------ reason >holyfuckingshitstfu >i just slap down a f--- ton of meat on the grill just to shut these idiots up >some annoying skinny kid (who is apparantly a manager) cor es over to me >"h-------- anon, w-- are you doing thats way too much” >im literally doing what they f------ told me to do >"do you know how to do grill?" >i say yes because i do, louise literally showed me how to do it 10 f------ thousand times >"bro you're not supposed to put that much meat down it wont cook, here let me show you how to do it" >p----- off i f------ throw the thing on the grill down and the manager kid shouts WHAT THE F--- like a little bitch and then i storm off to the back to cool the f--- off >he gets the head manager who comes back to ask me whats going on >i tell him im trying to do my job and hes getting in the way >manager tells me i "wasnt doing it right" or some s---, i tell him to f--- off and leave me alone >manager tells me how i was cooking too much meat and that i need to man the f--- up and do my job >we start shouting at each other >"THATS IT GET THE F--- OUT NOW" >mfw it wasnt even my choice to work here in the first place

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Serbian anon talks about finland’s prime minister | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: s5a3vrTT FINLAND ELECTED A W---- 433 KB JPG 08/19/22 (Fri)11:48:24 No.391677415 >start losing weight insanely fast >rumours of drug usage go around but mostly seen in imageboards >couple of times PM purposefully provocates reactions from people by posting social media influencer-tier pictures of herself >she says that she wants to change the image of what prime minister should be >fast forward to this week >some of her C-tier Finnish pop star friends leak a private video of her dancing >references of drug usage can be heard in video >words such as "powder gang" or in Finnish "jauhojengi" are used which are reference to cocaine >opposition leader calls her to go and take a drug test, one of her coalition MPs also says the same >she says that the word "jauhojengi" was misheard >her allies start saying it was "jallujengi" which would be a reference to alcohol >later a tabloid asks 2 experts to analyze the video and say which one was it >they say it is 100% the "powder gang" version >yellow press leaks information of her being unfaithful to her husband >Sanna danced intimately with at least three different men. She also sat on the laps of two different men. The Prime Minister held her hand on one man's chest and he held her gently by the arm. Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.

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Anon’s Sadness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous He was a single Dad with three kids, struggling with crushing debt of over $20,000 and was desperately waiting for a Payday loan he'd applied for. But it was paid in arrears, with a 5 week wait time. That wait drove him even deeper into debt, and when he died he had $4.61 in his bank account and clearly couldn't see any other way out. 57 KB JPG 08/19/22 (Fri)11:14:14 No.884141446 This is the final photograph of Phillip Herron 34, crying in his car, literally minutes before taking his own life. Like a lot of people, especially men, he kept all of this to himself, nobody else knew how bad things were getting. This poor man even had to tell his children that Santa Claus wouldn't come this year, and in his suicide note he wrote that they'd be better off if he wasn't around any more. And now he isn't. We need to talk more. We need to be kinder. And we need to be a country that helps each other when we need it the most. RIP

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anon hates school (me too) | /r/Greentext

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We interrupt this program to bring you a lesson on the history of 4Chan | /r/Greentext

foone Follow Hey fun fact: at one point around 2006, moot of 4chan fame was wanting to build a new feature where 4chan users could list where they were located and meet up. It was gonna be called like "4meet" but the goal he had in mind was always that it could be used as a dating service, for 4chan users. Unfortunately, the programmer working on it ran into a bunch of problems (mainly ADHD motivation issues) and it never got completed, and the programmer was fired. That programmer was me. You're f------ welcome. Imagine how much worse the world would be had 4chan included a f------ DATING SERVICE. hummerous Follow Thank you for your (lack of) service

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Anon has a penis | /r/Greentext

4h (8/19 2:05). 69865366 15 Re4 Img. JPG 844KB (900 × 1185) 5 Replies やっぱり変じゃない? 1-7 + >measure penis >it's bigger than it was before what gives anons 4h (8/19 2:10). 69865437 1 Reply . >>69865366 (OP) >measure penis >it falls off F------ hell. :

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