Sparkling Water | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous >>69222648 (You) # sparkling water is terrible for your teeth. 06/29/22 (Wed)03:07:08 No.69223091 >>69223255 # Anonymous 06/29/22 (Wed)03:45:34 No.69223255 >>69223091 # C-- is bad for your teeth but you seem to be drinking it all the time.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon tried | /r/Greentext

Anonymous IT'S OVER 8 KB JPG 06/30/22(Thu)00:44:18 No.69231238 >tried asking out a girl >she said no >as she was walking away tried grabbing her arm to tell her that I really loved her >accidentally pulled too hard and she hurt herself >now being charged with assault and battery >court date is next Monday It's over

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Anon admits to fantasizing about underage girls. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 16 KB JPG 06/29/22(Wed)14:50:45 No.69228882 >see an egirl who went viral years ago >think about her all the time and follow her >she turns 18 >immediately opens an onlyfans the same day >sucking c---, covered in c--, spreading her p----, she is not shy about being naked at all Why are women such w-----

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Anon is as straight as a bent pipe. | /r/Greentext

12/17/21(Fri) 10:38:01 No.868758070 >took a t----- out for a hookup to have a fun greentext for /b/ >meet up, had to stop for gas rq >end up bullshitting around inside of a corner store burger king >turns out we've both been missing some xmas shopping >bum around various plazas and department stores >check out a christmas festival at night >the festive lights are highlighting her smile in a way that makes me think I'd never seen real happiness in a person before this moment >take her home : Anonymous 72 KB JPG >didn't even f--- >get a text making sure that I made it home okay >nobody's ever f------ done that for me before You f------ turned me in to a f-----

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Anon talks to themselves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)03:05:28 No.163991421 >get used to talking to myself because I live alone with two cats >Say dumb s--- constantly, really awkward jokes and non-sequitur threats towards the cats >Wake up early one morning to creaking sounds of what I assume is a cat pushing s--- around on the kitchen counter >Yell down the hallway >"SOMEBODY'S GOING TO BE REALLY UPSET WHEN I HOLD THEM DOWN AND STAB THEIR A------ WITH A KNITTING NEEDLE!" >Hear my back door open and close and my chain link gate clatter shut 26 KB JPG >>163991453 # >>163991482 # >>163991503 #

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Anon is a hamburgler | /r/Greentext

No. 871819619 02/01/22(Tue)02:15:19 643.png 120 KB 425x282 >be me >gotta pee real bad >can't hold it I'm in the middle of the street >no public toilets over here either >go into a restaurant >head to the bathroom without talking to anyone >robot looking f----- stops me and says the bathroom is for customers only >tell him I already ordered >"uh okay sorry about that" >go into bathroom and take a piss >about to head out ... >the same robot screams "SIR" >WHAT >your order is ready >take the order without paying and leave >never go again into that restaurant ever That hamburger was actually good to be honest... 4 replies, 1 images

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anon sleeps on his friends couch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 01/24/21(Sun)15:04:47 >crashing on couch at friends house >trying to sleep >hear him talking on phone in other room >sounds like he is having phone sex No.845659188 >he farts loudly >'did you hear that baby?' >'you like it when daddy s---- himself?' >'no im naked so it went ALL over the chair' >'not the same one from fajita night last week. My friend is sleeping on that one' >quickly get up and leave >go home and take 20 boiling showers >still haven't replied to any of his texts or calls

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Why Anon eats burnt pizza | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Sad things you do 22 KB PNG 11/12/15(Thu)22:15:16 No.24222146 >Be a kid >Come home from school >Mom works an evening shift at a gas station >She leaves pizza for me >Have two games for my SNES >TMNT Tournament Fighters and The Addams Family >Put pizza in oven and use watch to time it >Play game while pizza cooks, often get distracted by my games. >Have burnt pizza most nights but eat it anyway. >Usually asleep by the time Mom gets home >We'd chat for a while if I was still up playing games. >One night on her way home she was hit by a drunk driver and she died. >In my 20s now >Occasionally I'll play TMNT and Addams Family on a SNES and fat old CRT TV and eat burnt pizza. >Eating burnt pizza comforts me regardless of the taste. >Pretend Mom is still out there working at the gas station >Go to bed early so the illusion isn't broken

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There's always a bigger fish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/19(Sat)09:43:41 No.54069296 >be fish >just chilling >get eaten by great white shark >be great white shark >no one better f--- with me unless you have a f------ death wish >get rammed by orca, flip over, die >be orca 209 KB JPG >actual apex predator >death is not even a f------ option >swim into continent-sized floating trash pile >suffocate on thousands of tons of plastic

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anon describes groups of americans | /r/Greentext

> liberals > CNN bots > bluepill to the maxx > traumatized by anything negative > usefullest idiots > requires an official narrative to move forward in thought > likes social justice > cant understand why noone wants their hegemony > leftists > angry at money > still believe in money > thinks UBI will give them enough money to not be homeless > likes social liberty >cant keep jobs for s--- > star trek > conservatives > militaristic > secret torture programs > government for thee, not for me > "its ok, religions and secret orders owning our military is great" > likes sharia law > frequently cops > right wing > no cohesive positive platform other than adherence to post-WWII jewish propaganda > bound by sheer hatred > anonymous recluses > cash cow for the school shooter program > show up at school board meetings to reveal conspiracies to the public > driven primarily by stories of imaginary women > intelligence agencies' bitches > libertarians > shoot the gun > till the soil > smoke the weed > eat the food > cant hold office because they arent in any secret money clubs > keeps 2$ bills for Jefferson's magical protection > their lack of engagement paradoxically both the best philosophy and the worst strategy am i missing anyone? imgflip.com

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Anon has nothing to hide | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous FBI 40 KB JPG 06/29/22(Wed)10:28:11 No.604119552 >knock knock knock >we have a federal warrant for searches of these premises for torrented video games What to do : Anonymous >>604119552 (OP) # >yes hello officer come in 06/29/22(Wed)12:40:47 No.604129032 >>604129395 # >4k tv displaying loli r--- hentai at 100% volume >how can i help sir >local missing child tied up in the corner >would you like some coffee sir >unregistered ar15 on the counter >maybe a donut? >4000 torrents seeding on the desktop >as you can see sir i have nothing to hide >bags of fertiliser in the corner

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Anon walks in on his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: GYo8djDN) = 8 KB JPG 06/23/22(Thu)11:49:00 No.15549122 sex is a bad word : Anonymous (ID: EfL81Nrv 06/23/22(Thu)11:50:52 No.15549127 : Anonymous (ID: vjnkyvho 06/23/22(Thu)11:51:52 No.15549130 >>15549122 (OP) # just use 'gender', it's the same thing >>15550330 # Anonymous (ID: 4jgAzwvs 06/23/22(Thu)13:35:48 No.15550330 >>15549130 # I walked in on my dad having gender with his gender doll

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Americans do celebratory conga | /r/Greentext

At least 17 dead in US school® shooting US & CANADA 1518715783500.jpg 583 KB JPG >be american >17 people die >American students do a celebratory conga

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