Anon is a hamburgler | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

No. 871819619 02/01/22(Tue)02:15:19 643.png 120 KB 425x282 >be me >gotta pee real bad >can't hold it I'm in the middle of the street >no public toilets over here either >go into a restaurant >head to the bathroom without talking to anyone >robot looking f----- stops me and says the bathroom is for customers only >tell him I already ordered >"uh okay sorry about that" >go into bathroom and take a piss >about to head out ... >the same robot screams "SIR" >WHAT >your order is ready >take the order without paying and leave >never go again into that restaurant ever That hamburger was actually good to be honest... 4 replies, 1 images

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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anon sleeps on his friends couch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 01/24/21(Sun)15:04:47 >crashing on couch at friends house >trying to sleep >hear him talking on phone in other room >sounds like he is having phone sex No.845659188 >he farts loudly >'did you hear that baby?' >'you like it when daddy s---- himself?' >'no im naked so it went ALL over the chair' >'not the same one from fajita night last week. My friend is sleeping on that one' >quickly get up and leave >go home and take 20 boiling showers >still haven't replied to any of his texts or calls

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Why Anon eats burnt pizza | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Sad things you do 22 KB PNG 11/12/15(Thu)22:15:16 No.24222146 >Be a kid >Come home from school >Mom works an evening shift at a gas station >She leaves pizza for me >Have two games for my SNES >TMNT Tournament Fighters and The Addams Family >Put pizza in oven and use watch to time it >Play game while pizza cooks, often get distracted by my games. >Have burnt pizza most nights but eat it anyway. >Usually asleep by the time Mom gets home >We'd chat for a while if I was still up playing games. >One night on her way home she was hit by a drunk driver and she died. >In my 20s now >Occasionally I'll play TMNT and Addams Family on a SNES and fat old CRT TV and eat burnt pizza. >Eating burnt pizza comforts me regardless of the taste. >Pretend Mom is still out there working at the gas station >Go to bed early so the illusion isn't broken

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There's always a bigger fish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/19(Sat)09:43:41 No.54069296 >be fish >just chilling >get eaten by great white shark >be great white shark >no one better f--- with me unless you have a f------ death wish >get rammed by orca, flip over, die >be orca 209 KB JPG >actual apex predator >death is not even a f------ option >swim into continent-sized floating trash pile >suffocate on thousands of tons of plastic

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anon describes groups of americans | /r/Greentext

> liberals > CNN bots > bluepill to the maxx > traumatized by anything negative > usefullest idiots > requires an official narrative to move forward in thought > likes social justice > cant understand why noone wants their hegemony > leftists > angry at money > still believe in money > thinks UBI will give them enough money to not be homeless > likes social liberty >cant keep jobs for s--- > star trek > conservatives > militaristic > secret torture programs > government for thee, not for me > "its ok, religions and secret orders owning our military is great" > likes sharia law > frequently cops > right wing > no cohesive positive platform other than adherence to post-WWII jewish propaganda > bound by sheer hatred > anonymous recluses > cash cow for the school shooter program > show up at school board meetings to reveal conspiracies to the public > driven primarily by stories of imaginary women > intelligence agencies' bitches > libertarians > shoot the gun > till the soil > smoke the weed > eat the food > cant hold office because they arent in any secret money clubs > keeps 2$ bills for Jefferson's magical protection > their lack of engagement paradoxically both the best philosophy and the worst strategy am i missing anyone? imgflip.com

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Anon has nothing to hide | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous FBI 40 KB JPG 06/29/22(Wed)10:28:11 No.604119552 >knock knock knock >we have a federal warrant for searches of these premises for torrented video games What to do : Anonymous >>604119552 (OP) # >yes hello officer come in 06/29/22(Wed)12:40:47 No.604129032 >>604129395 # >4k tv displaying loli r--- hentai at 100% volume >how can i help sir >local missing child tied up in the corner >would you like some coffee sir >unregistered ar15 on the counter >maybe a donut? >4000 torrents seeding on the desktop >as you can see sir i have nothing to hide >bags of fertiliser in the corner

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Anon walks in on his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: GYo8djDN) = 8 KB JPG 06/23/22(Thu)11:49:00 No.15549122 sex is a bad word : Anonymous (ID: EfL81Nrv 06/23/22(Thu)11:50:52 No.15549127 : Anonymous (ID: vjnkyvho 06/23/22(Thu)11:51:52 No.15549130 >>15549122 (OP) # just use 'gender', it's the same thing >>15550330 # Anonymous (ID: 4jgAzwvs 06/23/22(Thu)13:35:48 No.15550330 >>15549130 # I walked in on my dad having gender with his gender doll

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Americans do celebratory conga | /r/Greentext

At least 17 dead in US school® shooting US & CANADA 1518715783500.jpg 583 KB JPG >be american >17 people die >American students do a celebratory conga

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Things are done differently over there | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/31/21(Fri)11:51:53 >>64956121 >hard times create strong slavs >strong slavs create hard times >hard times create strong slavs

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Anon cuts on pussy consumption | /r/Greentext

scoot.jpg 691 KB JPG Have you considered that getting a tiny scoot can cut your walking times in more than half? Think how it can boost your productivity! 18 Replies / 2 Images View Thread 06/29/22(Wed)13:53:53 No.87542128 : Anonymous >>87541259 (OP) # it also cuts the amount of p---- you get down yo zero, that's exponentially increasing your productivity. no sex = more time to work!

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Anon has a female friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I hate women 178 KB JPG 06/29/22 (Wed)16:15:42 No.69224326 >be me >work with female coworker >we talk about different things >topic switches to partying >she asks me if I want to go to the club with her >tell her "no" >"why not anon?" >"I cant dance, I hate loud music and I hate to be around a lot of humans because they disgust me and I think clubs are for degenerates anyway" >she looks at me puzzled >we continue working without a single word being said >this was 2 weeks ago >she is still not speaking to me Oh come on. Do you want to tell me that just because I didnt want to go to the club I am not worthy of speaking to her anymore? Why are women like this?

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That's the catch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 16 KB JPG 10/04/21(Mon)11:57:15 No.65633207 >start dating girl >we're both 23 >she looks so normal totally not what you would call a "slut" >her body count is 22 I legit can't cope and uts killing me

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Anon on windmill ideology | /r/Greentext

Anonymous F 20 KB PNG >loses 11/08/21(Mon)18:24:36 No.866355644 >hyper military based society >tries to convince itself it's the strongest a---- military on earth >fights one (1) war 25 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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