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No. 871819619 02/01/22(Tue)02:15:19 643.png 120 KB 425x282 >be me >gotta pee real bad >can't hold it I'm in the middle of the street >no public toilets over here either >go into a restaurant >head to the bathroom without talking to anyone >robot looking f----- stops me and says the bathroom is for customers only >tell him I already ordered >"uh okay sorry about that" >go into bathroom and take a piss >about to head out ... >the same robot screams "SIR" >WHAT >your order is ready >take the order without paying and leave >never go again into that restaurant ever That hamburger was actually good to be honest... 4 replies, 1 images

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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anon sleeps on his friends couch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 01/24/21(Sun)15:04:47 >crashing on couch at friends house >trying to sleep >hear him talking on phone in other room >sounds like he is having phone sex No.845659188 >he farts loudly >'did you hear that baby?' >'you like it when daddy s---- himself?' >'no im naked so it went ALL over the chair' >'not the same one from fajita night last week. My friend is sleeping on that one' >quickly get up and leave >go home and take 20 boiling showers >still haven't replied to any of his texts or calls

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Why Anon eats burnt pizza | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Sad things you do 22 KB PNG 11/12/15(Thu)22:15:16 No.24222146 >Be a kid >Come home from school >Mom works an evening shift at a gas station >She leaves pizza for me >Have two games for my SNES >TMNT Tournament Fighters and The Addams Family >Put pizza in oven and use watch to time it >Play game while pizza cooks, often get distracted by my games. >Have burnt pizza most nights but eat it anyway. >Usually asleep by the time Mom gets home >We'd chat for a while if I was still up playing games. >One night on her way home she was hit by a drunk driver and she died. >In my 20s now >Occasionally I'll play TMNT and Addams Family on a SNES and fat old CRT TV and eat burnt pizza. >Eating burnt pizza comforts me regardless of the taste. >Pretend Mom is still out there working at the gas station >Go to bed early so the illusion isn't broken

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There's always a bigger fish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/19(Sat)09:43:41 No.54069296 >be fish >just chilling >get eaten by great white shark >be great white shark >no one better f--- with me unless you have a f------ death wish >get rammed by orca, flip over, die >be orca 209 KB JPG >actual apex predator >death is not even a f------ option >swim into continent-sized floating trash pile >suffocate on thousands of tons of plastic

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anon describes groups of americans | /r/Greentext

> liberals > CNN bots > bluepill to the maxx > traumatized by anything negative > usefullest idiots > requires an official narrative to move forward in thought > likes social justice > cant understand why noone wants their hegemony > leftists > angry at money > still believe in money > thinks UBI will give them enough money to not be homeless > likes social liberty >cant keep jobs for s--- > star trek > conservatives > militaristic > secret torture programs > government for thee, not for me > "its ok, religions and secret orders owning our military is great" > likes sharia law > frequently cops > right wing > no cohesive positive platform other than adherence to post-WWII jewish propaganda > bound by sheer hatred > anonymous recluses > cash cow for the school shooter program > show up at school board meetings to reveal conspiracies to the public > driven primarily by stories of imaginary women > intelligence agencies' bitches > libertarians > shoot the gun > till the soil > smoke the weed > eat the food > cant hold office because they arent in any secret money clubs > keeps 2$ bills for Jefferson's magical protection > their lack of engagement paradoxically both the best philosophy and the worst strategy am i missing anyone? imgflip.com

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Anon has nothing to hide | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous FBI 40 KB JPG 06/29/22(Wed)10:28:11 No.604119552 >knock knock knock >we have a federal warrant for searches of these premises for torrented video games What to do : Anonymous >>604119552 (OP) # >yes hello officer come in 06/29/22(Wed)12:40:47 No.604129032 >>604129395 # >4k tv displaying loli r--- hentai at 100% volume >how can i help sir >local missing child tied up in the corner >would you like some coffee sir >unregistered ar15 on the counter >maybe a donut? >4000 torrents seeding on the desktop >as you can see sir i have nothing to hide >bags of fertiliser in the corner

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Anon walks in on his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: GYo8djDN) = 8 KB JPG 06/23/22(Thu)11:49:00 No.15549122 sex is a bad word : Anonymous (ID: EfL81Nrv 06/23/22(Thu)11:50:52 No.15549127 : Anonymous (ID: vjnkyvho 06/23/22(Thu)11:51:52 No.15549130 >>15549122 (OP) # just use 'gender', it's the same thing >>15550330 # Anonymous (ID: 4jgAzwvs 06/23/22(Thu)13:35:48 No.15550330 >>15549130 # I walked in on my dad having gender with his gender doll

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Americans do celebratory conga | /r/Greentext

At least 17 dead in US school® shooting US & CANADA 1518715783500.jpg 583 KB JPG >be american >17 people die >American students do a celebratory conga

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Things are done differently over there | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/31/21(Fri)11:51:53 >>64956121 >hard times create strong slavs >strong slavs create hard times >hard times create strong slavs

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Anon cuts on pussy consumption | /r/Greentext

scoot.jpg 691 KB JPG Have you considered that getting a tiny scoot can cut your walking times in more than half? Think how it can boost your productivity! 18 Replies / 2 Images View Thread 06/29/22(Wed)13:53:53 No.87542128 : Anonymous >>87541259 (OP) # it also cuts the amount of p---- you get down yo zero, that's exponentially increasing your productivity. no sex = more time to work!

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Anon has a female friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I hate women 178 KB JPG 06/29/22 (Wed)16:15:42 No.69224326 >be me >work with female coworker >we talk about different things >topic switches to partying >she asks me if I want to go to the club with her >tell her "no" >"why not anon?" >"I cant dance, I hate loud music and I hate to be around a lot of humans because they disgust me and I think clubs are for degenerates anyway" >she looks at me puzzled >we continue working without a single word being said >this was 2 weeks ago >she is still not speaking to me Oh come on. Do you want to tell me that just because I didnt want to go to the club I am not worthy of speaking to her anymore? Why are women like this?

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That's the catch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 16 KB JPG 10/04/21(Mon)11:57:15 No.65633207 >start dating girl >we're both 23 >she looks so normal totally not what you would call a "slut" >her body count is 22 I legit can't cope and uts killing me

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Anon on windmill ideology | /r/Greentext

Anonymous F 20 KB PNG >loses 11/08/21(Mon)18:24:36 No.866355644 >hyper military based society >tries to convince itself it's the strongest a---- military on earth >fights one (1) war 25 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Greentext Stories - Anon is a hamburgler | /r/Greentext

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No. 871819619 02/01/22(Tue)02:15:19 643.png 120 KB 425x282 >be me >gotta pee real bad >can't hold it I'm in the middle of the street >no public toilets over here either >go into a restaurant >head to the bathroom without talking to anyone >robot looking f----- stops me and says the bathroom is for customers only >tell him I already ordered >"uh okay sorry about that" >go into bathroom and take a piss >about to head out ... >the same robot screams "SIR" >WHAT >your order is ready >take the order without paying and leave >never go again into that restaurant ever That hamburger was actually good to be honest... 4 replies, 1 images

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