Americans do celebratory conga | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

At least 17 dead in US school® shooting US & CANADA 1518715783500.jpg 583 KB JPG >be american >17 people die >American students do a celebratory conga

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Things are done differently over there | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/31/21(Fri)11:51:53 >>64956121 >hard times create strong slavs >strong slavs create hard times >hard times create strong slavs

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Anon cuts on pussy consumption | /r/Greentext

scoot.jpg 691 KB JPG Have you considered that getting a tiny scoot can cut your walking times in more than half? Think how it can boost your productivity! 18 Replies / 2 Images View Thread 06/29/22(Wed)13:53:53 No.87542128 : Anonymous >>87541259 (OP) # it also cuts the amount of p---- you get down yo zero, that's exponentially increasing your productivity. no sex = more time to work!

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Anon has a female friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I hate women 178 KB JPG 06/29/22 (Wed)16:15:42 No.69224326 >be me >work with female coworker >we talk about different things >topic switches to partying >she asks me if I want to go to the club with her >tell her "no" >"why not anon?" >"I cant dance, I hate loud music and I hate to be around a lot of humans because they disgust me and I think clubs are for degenerates anyway" >she looks at me puzzled >we continue working without a single word being said >this was 2 weeks ago >she is still not speaking to me Oh come on. Do you want to tell me that just because I didnt want to go to the club I am not worthy of speaking to her anymore? Why are women like this?

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That's the catch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 16 KB JPG 10/04/21(Mon)11:57:15 No.65633207 >start dating girl >we're both 23 >she looks so normal totally not what you would call a "slut" >her body count is 22 I legit can't cope and uts killing me

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Anon on windmill ideology | /r/Greentext

Anonymous F 20 KB PNG >loses 11/08/21(Mon)18:24:36 No.866355644 >hyper military based society >tries to convince itself it's the strongest a---- military on earth >fights one (1) war 25 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Anon summarizes 4chan users | /r/Greentext

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Anon wants to join clown school | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 1ta/DtoM) 62 KB JPG 02/02/21 (Tue)00:43:18 No.12055241 >be me >7 >forced to do karate >slack off every time >dad yells at me >asks me if i want to join clown school >i said yes >gets even angrier >mfw i dont get to join clown school

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Something is very off with Anon's friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/29/22 (Wed)01:00:27 No.69221888 ▶ >Be Long hair lover. long hair Emma Watson was a 10 but with short hair a 3. I've Always been like this, I hate short hair. >Anyway: Be me, intern at a corpo job. >Meet Steve who's a super weeb but chill. >He's kinda feminine and a little weird, but he's fun to hangout and play videa. >We see some marvel movie and he says Thor was hot in this one scene. Makes sense now, he's Gay. Bingo. >Week later I mention him being gay and he denies it. >lol wut, still seems gay to me. >Maybe he's still in the closet. >One day see him go into the women's bathroom. Makes sense now, he's trans. Bingo. >Been calling Steve "Dude" and "bro" all this time. >I Just call her "Stevie" so it sounds more feminine. >Get the feeling Stevie likes me. >Stevie is chill, but not into trans, sorry. >Lots of pictures of Stevie's sister. >No pictures of Stevie. lol wut. >Later she says her mom made brisket. >Oh snap, I love brisket. Can't resist, I go. >Dinner good, but mom keeps dropping hints that Stevie is into me. >This was a bad idea. >chilling after dinner and see family photo album. >Oh snap, I want to see Steve pre-Stevie. >Find a recent photo of Stevie on the beach. >She's wearing a tight bathing suit and clearly no boy parts. >Realize stevie has no sister, all pictures were Stevie. She just had long hair. >Realize Stevie with long hair is super hot and a bio-girl. >Been hanging out with hot girl for like 2 months now. >Brain melts. >Next day ask her to dinner and movie. >Pick a fancy restaurant and she comes dressed up. >Tell her she looks great and she gets a huge smile >feelsgoodman.jpg >At movie, I reach over and hold her hand. >She leans over and puts her head on my shoulder. >After movie she's all smiles. >On the drive home she asks what took me so long to make a move. >Think about Male>Gay>Trans>Girl evolution. >Just say "I don't know." instead. Been together 3 years and she has long hair now. My best hoe used to be my best bro No regrets.

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Anon doesn’t like animal abusers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/29/22 (Wed)05:35:37 No.881050241 132 KB JPG >meet a girl on omegle >she's super cute, definitely a 10 >we start talking on kik, we really hit it off >after a few minutes we Face Time >start talking about our interests >she's so passionate about her interests and loves to listen to me talk about mine >eventually ask each other questions about her life >shows me her dog "Yeah anon he's super cute. I feed him a lot of chocolate and he should be dead but he's fine honestly." >also says that she's "lowkey abusive but the dog still loves me" >she vents to me about how everyone she talks to on omegle just uses her and then leaves the next day/a few days later >I tell her I promise I won't do that and that I really really like her >eventually we start to get kind of frisky >she watched me j------- for a while >offers to show me her t--- >I accept and I c-- to her t--- on the Face Time >afterwards we keep talking about our interests again >before I go to bed she says "thank you for not leaving me like everyone else. I trust you" >I tell her I trust her too and that I would never leave her >hang up >block her on everything while she's asleep F--- that dog abusing bitch

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Anon tells him about his life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Uv1NOMOU) MALE B 05/12/22(Thu)21:06:32 No.48714526 M M M M M n W-Would you like fries with that, sir? MC Dik maxresdefault.jpg 159 KB JPG C C >I-I used to be a millionaire you know! >It w-was in t-this thing called crypto currency! It was the future! Yeah that's great, can you hurry up with my order? I have places I need to be.

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Anon goes back in time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Tiem Travel! 24 KB JPG Anonymous 06/29/22(Wed)00:22:54 No.167057094 Hey, this is Ryan's friend, Sam. Ryan got beheaded by Al-Qaeda while trying to kill Osama Bin Laden. I'm going to go back in time, tell the CIA about everything, & convince them to help me rescue him. Wish me luck. >>167057271 # 06/29/22(Wed)00:22:06 No.167057086 : Anonymous 06/29/22(Wed)00:24:03 No. 167057117 Hey this is Carlos, Sam got arrested by the past CIA for being a suspected Al-Qaeda operative and, unfortunately, we don't have any more backup time-machines. Does anyone know where I can find a DeLorean, military-grade hardware, and some uranium? Anonymous >hey guys, I just finished building a time- machine today. I bought a rifle from Walmart a few days ago and I'm going to go back in time and kill Osama Bin Laden. Wish me luck. 21 KB JPG 06/29/22(Wed)00:31:14 No.167057271 >>167057117 (You) # STOP TIME-TRAVELING YOU IDIOTS YOURE GONNA CAUSE A TIME- PARADOX AND TEAR A HOLE IN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUOUM Anonymous 06/29/22(Wed)00:35:08 No.167057356 I'm gonna go back in time and tear a hole in your mother

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a brief summary of human history | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)00:51:29 No.12878558 382 KB JPG Chinese history be like >Chao ling takes power >247 million perish European history be like >Count Baron Kaiser Werner Pfeldlinger Fingerlickner von Hoeltschweinergmachtner marries half sister Znigwieczrina Nowloczynlieczwowzcrczsky of Globsnogczrecnoyarskglograd triggering a war between King Juan Jose Maria Rigoberto Aguascacas de Santo Domingo de los Diabetico and Pierre Richelesaux pretard je logriouxoueuraxeux establishing the Grand Duchy of Neue Ooksteinberg a tax haven with a population of 16

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