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>Be me >Looking on rubmaps for an Asian massage parlor >Find a place and head over there >Greeted by 5/10 Asian chick leads me to room >asks me to strip and then turns on a radio >is playing smooth jazz >I do what she says and she leaves after I pay >eventually comes back and the massage is pretty good >asks me to turn over >I comply >Hard as a rock by now >Song switches to a sax cover of "Sound of Silence" >Trying not to lose my s--- >She asks "You want" while doing the h------ motion >I say yes >One if the best hand jobs I've ever recieved but I was trying not to laugh the whole time >Finish >I give tip and leave >I walk down the street cackling like a mad man.

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Anon is curious | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Bicurious double standard 09/24/21(Fri)15:15:32 No.22465390 >Straight girls can literally date women, have years long lesbian phases and can go back to being straight and nobody will contradict them and men will find it hot >Straight guy f---- a cute twink and nobody will ever consider him anything but gay, women will leave him if they find out even if they're progressive It's not fair 59 KB JPG

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Anon thinks with his head | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/23/22(Thu)16:57:07 No.880693957 130 KB JPG >be me >stand on scale >182.4 lbs >get a boner >182.5 >if it's just veins, how did they get heavier? >in reality, boners are a new bone that your body generates >bone melts when you finish and turns to white creamy material Libtards lied to you /b/

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Anon finds a way to cheat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: /JjvTYb+ 7 KB PNG 01/02/19(Wed)23:24:32 No.12320690 >go on okcupid date with 18 year old high school girl >sorta chubby but big t------ >rented a hotel room before meeting her at park >investment pays off and take her back to f--- her >turns out she's a virgin >fast forward a couple of weeks >wife discovered i booked a hotel room for one >she freaks out and accusses me of having an affair >reveal to her i am not and if i tell her she has to promise not to tell anyone >tell her im an arms dealer for gangs in chicago >tell elaborate story about how i graduated from drugs to guns and had to go back dealing after struggling with tile installation company >she starts crying and tells me she doesn't want me get killed and to quit >tell her i still need to do 2 more deals and I'm done >we have amazing sex that night >behaves more attentive around me now Did I do good /biz/? Also why can't I feel bad about this?

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Anon and the Stork | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 185 KB JPG 05/02/22(Mon)18:47:15 No.877381590 >I c-- inside a p---- >Apparently in my c-- there's little fish like swimming creatures >9 months later a human being emerges People expect me to believe this s---?

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Anon's grandfather has a secret to share | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/29/21 (Wed) 20:32:24 No.152651813 BORN coom D0459D10-EDE4-4F3C-9180-42DDC17B287F.jpg 22 KB JPG >be me, just an average white guy >go to visit my grandpa >tell him I have a gf >show him picture of her >he gasps and then smiles, patting me on the back >"you're dating an Asian woman? She's beautiful anon!" >grandpa's all excited, weirdest I've ever seen him >"come here boy, let's have a talk" >sits me down on the porch and cracks open an Arnold Palmer for me and himself >proceeds to tell me about all of his sexual experiences in Vietnam >admits to f------ a dead Vietnamese woman with his buddy >had an o--- with 7 Vietnamese women at once >admitted to f------ "at the very least" 100 Vietnamese women during his time in Vietnam >apparently has never told my father about these things and to quote "keep it between us" There's no way in hell I don't have Vietnamese cousins

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Anon has a point | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: MTEswNQT Will the GirlsDoPorn case chan(...) 11/07/19(Thu)20:40:46 No.232474502 file not found.png 793 KB PNG We've had some good discussions on this. To recap the situation: >Girl turns 18, strapped for cash to pay for tuition, looks for modeling ads on craigslist. >Finds a gig offering $5,000 for tasteful bikini shoot >They offer to fly girl to San Diego, pay for a 5-star suite, etc. >Once there on set, girl is told she will do hardcore p--- and take a facial >Girl tries to back out and is screamed at, insulted, told she is worthless and will have to reimburse the company for the tickets and suite >Is further told the video will be sold only on DVD to wealthy Australians, no one back home will know >2 months later, video is released on the internet complete with girl's real name and hometown, the producers purposefully made sure her friends/family found out >Girls life is ruined, quits school, often turns to booze This happened to over 500 girls. Now the FBI has arrested the employees and they are facing life in prison for sex trafficking.

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anon went into the pipeline | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/23/22(Thu)19:14:47 No.880697811 >be me >horny as all f--- >depressed cause i have no luck getting bitches >decide f--- it >femboypillacquired.exe >set all statuses on every dating service i use to feminine males 48 KB PNG >start getting messages >these boy hos call me daddy >f--- it, female enough >actually enjoy plowing their asses and then them caring for me at the end of it >one of them even made me breakfast >one of them suggested a threesome with a girl they knew >feel happy >feel accepted i took the gay pill anons, and f---, do i feel good

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Anon wants you off his board | /r/Greentext

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Anon creates a beautiful poem | /r/Greentext

Anonymous /fit/ Poetry Corner 15 KB JPG 07/24/21 (Sat)20:26:33 No.62728875 a poem >There once was a surgeon named Keith >Who circumcised men with his teeth >'Twas not for leisure, or sexual pleasure >But to get at the cheese underneath thank you

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An interesting title | /r/Greentext

maxresdefault.jpg 88 KB JPG >"Shut the f--- up and don't interrupt me, you fat nerd."

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future Anon watches an MCU movie | /r/Greentext

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Anon has three siblings | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 119 KB PNG 2 Replies 05/20/22(Fri)23:06:39 No.68713943 >yeah, f--- my p----, daddy >stretch me out >deeper >harder >000, c-- in my tight little p----, daddy These are words that left your mother's mouth View Thread : Anonymous 05/20/22(Fri)23:09:21 No.68713968 Nah. My dad was broken for the longest time. Im fairly certain my parents have only had sex 4 times.

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Greentext Stories - Anon gets a happy ending | /r/Greentext

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>Be me >Looking on rubmaps for an Asian massage parlor >Find a place and head over there >Greeted by 5/10 Asian chick leads me to room >asks me to strip and then turns on a radio >is playing smooth jazz >I do what she says and she leaves after I pay >eventually comes back and the massage is pretty good >asks me to turn over >I comply >Hard as a rock by now >Song switches to a sax cover of "Sound of Silence" >Trying not to lose my s--- >She asks "You want" while doing the h------ motion >I say yes >One if the best hand jobs I've ever recieved but I was trying not to laugh the whole time >Finish >I give tip and leave >I walk down the street cackling like a mad man.

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