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: Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)14:08:34 No.866808217 >be me >american >wake up next to my sister as usual >ask her to wake up the kids >wife is overdosing on xanax so she doesn't say anything >whatever.jpg >order doordash cause my bitch sister 7 KB PNG didn't make breakfast >tip mandatory 500% >take one of my 45 glocks and go to work with it concealed >see the neighbors kid trying to collect his football from my lawn >dump my whole 33 round mag into him for trespassing >realize I used hollow point >realize I wasted 33 dollars on this stupid f------ kid >go back inside and shoot myself due to crippling debt and obesity >wake up in a hospital bed >doctor hands me a bill for 750k dollars God I love this country

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Anon is listening to Kid Cudi | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous04/06/19(Sat)00:07:50 No.796722468 > be me > no gf or friends > sad bc long day > listens to music > gets better > thank u music 128 KB JPG

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Well if you’re posting on 4chan then it’s a pretty reasonable assumption | /r/Greentext

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Anon flirts with the homies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)15:54:00 No.869115768 >be me >Have wamen friend >l sent her "i love you" >Accident.jpg >Meant to send to my male friend for giving me rimworld on steam >l say to the female "Sorry mate acident" 30 KB JPG >She gets super p----- >Stops talking to me What? 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon is a cicada | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 857481178 >wait 17 years >wake up >scream for 4 weeks >refuse to elaborate >die 16 REPLIES 3 IMAGES

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chickens are making anon happy | /r/Greentext

>neighbors suddenly have chickens >chickens make chicken noises >for some reason, this warms my heart >get woken up by chickens doing the funny chicken sounds and 231 KB JPG there's suddenly a smile on my face >exit my house to do some exercise and see the chickens in the neighbors' backyard >instantly feel great >not even sure if it's legal for them to own chickens, but I'm not going to complain >just feel really f------ happy whenever I hear them make their silly sounds Thanks chickens

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Anon predicts the future | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)13:43:46 No.64229951 >2035 >literature class >greentexts are teaching material >you're reading this >f--- you, future f-- 361 KB PNG >PS: Your teacher is right, that statement was a rebellion against our selfish and indifferent society!

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Anon autism is strong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)21:15:11 No.66657584 >be me >walk through hallway >girl coming the other way >could move around but figure she'll move >she doesn't >eventually stop in front of each other >try going my right, she does too >same when going left >ok this is going nowhere >grab her arms like picking up a box by the sides >pick her up, turn around, set her down without saying a word >give her a nod as she looks at me wide eyed >turn around and go on my way Autism makes me strong

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Anon Respects m’theydy’s Pronouns | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:58:35 No.849733154 >be me >a good boy >eating tendies >a wendys worker cutie girl delivers my dewy >mom tells me to thank her 24 KB JPG >this girl is waifu material >thank you m'lady >she starts yelling that she does not identify as a lady and that her pronouns are them/they >sorry, m'theydy >they gift me a box of tendies >life is good

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Anon has a healthy relationship with his sister in law | /r/Greentext

Board /b/ - Random Settings Mobile Home >wife talks to sister on phone a lot >mostly on speakerphone >one day start to masturbate to her sister's voice Paser nt sin 78 KB PNG >came buckets >habit.jpg >this goes on for months >her sister comes to visit >hear her voice >boner.mkv >wife goes to work (I work at home) >alone with her sister >she starts talking with me >more boner >can't hide it >she notices it >just smiles, doesn't say anything >try to get away >she corners me and doesn't let me leave >finally comments on my boner >trapped like a rat in a cage >come clean and admit everything >she says it's okay >rubs my bulge >says it's really big >undoes my trousers >her eyes get really big >not as big as my c--- tho >she strokes it >I c-- >"this is our little secret anon, don't ever tell my sister" >noshitsherlock.png That was like three visits ago, I've never gotten more than a handy from her, but I always get them, and yes I still rub one out when I hear her voice on the phone.

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Anon larps as a pirate | /r/Greentext

ile: image jpg (16 KB, 409x307) Anonymous (ID: öyTxwp3) 05/19/14(Mon)01:31:58 Worst sex story thread? >Be me >Just graduated >Hanging out with qt3.14 girlfriend after Graduation party >Both extremely drunk >On my bed >She starts rubbing my c--- through my jeans >Says that she's never role played and wants to try >"O-okay what do you want to do?" >"Ive always wanted to f--- Jack Sparrow" >Wat.jpg >Only thíng I have pirate related is an eyepatch and a pirate hat from a few halloweens ago >Letsdothis.avi >She starts sucking me off >in the spurr of the moment shout "THARR SHE BLOWS" >Realize what I just said >She starts laughing and ends up gagging on my d--- and puking >C-- because she was deepthroating when it happened >Dad walks in >"Hey anon do you." >Stares at the horrific scene that has just happend >Mixture of c-- and puke all over bed >Look at dad and say "A-ahoy matey" >He backs out and closes my door >Pretty sure he ran after ciosing the door >Never looks me in the eye again >Mfw

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Anon watches the Matrix | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)23:07:14 No.869140390 >load up Matrix Ressurection on НВО >instantly greeted with "strong female character with short blue hair" >instantly knew the movie would 64 KB JPG suck

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Greentext Stories - Anon is American | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)14:08:34 No.866808217 >be me >american >wake up next to my sister as usual >ask her to wake up the kids >wife is overdosing on xanax so she doesn't say anything >whatever.jpg >order doordash cause my bitch sister 7 KB PNG didn't make breakfast >tip mandatory 500% >take one of my 45 glocks and go to work with it concealed >see the neighbors kid trying to collect his football from my lawn >dump my whole 33 round mag into him for trespassing >realize I used hollow point >realize I wasted 33 dollars on this stupid f------ kid >go back inside and shoot myself due to crippling debt and obesity >wake up in a hospital bed >doctor hands me a bill for 750k dollars God I love this country

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