Anon flirts with the homies | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)15:54:00 No.869115768 >be me >Have wamen friend >l sent her "i love you" >Accident.jpg >Meant to send to my male friend for giving me rimworld on steam >l say to the female "Sorry mate acident" 30 KB JPG >She gets super p----- >Stops talking to me What? 2 Replies View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is a cicada | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 857481178 >wait 17 years >wake up >scream for 4 weeks >refuse to elaborate >die 16 REPLIES 3 IMAGES

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chickens are making anon happy | /r/Greentext

>neighbors suddenly have chickens >chickens make chicken noises >for some reason, this warms my heart >get woken up by chickens doing the funny chicken sounds and 231 KB JPG there's suddenly a smile on my face >exit my house to do some exercise and see the chickens in the neighbors' backyard >instantly feel great >not even sure if it's legal for them to own chickens, but I'm not going to complain >just feel really f------ happy whenever I hear them make their silly sounds Thanks chickens

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Anon predicts the future | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)13:43:46 No.64229951 >2035 >literature class >greentexts are teaching material >you're reading this >f--- you, future f-- 361 KB PNG >PS: Your teacher is right, that statement was a rebellion against our selfish and indifferent society!

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Anon autism is strong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)21:15:11 No.66657584 >be me >walk through hallway >girl coming the other way >could move around but figure she'll move >she doesn't >eventually stop in front of each other >try going my right, she does too >same when going left >ok this is going nowhere >grab her arms like picking up a box by the sides >pick her up, turn around, set her down without saying a word >give her a nod as she looks at me wide eyed >turn around and go on my way Autism makes me strong

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Anon Respects m’theydy’s Pronouns | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:58:35 No.849733154 >be me >a good boy >eating tendies >a wendys worker cutie girl delivers my dewy >mom tells me to thank her 24 KB JPG >this girl is waifu material >thank you m'lady >she starts yelling that she does not identify as a lady and that her pronouns are them/they >sorry, m'theydy >they gift me a box of tendies >life is good

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Anon has a healthy relationship with his sister in law | /r/Greentext

Board /b/ - Random Settings Mobile Home >wife talks to sister on phone a lot >mostly on speakerphone >one day start to masturbate to her sister's voice Paser nt sin 78 KB PNG >came buckets >habit.jpg >this goes on for months >her sister comes to visit >hear her voice >boner.mkv >wife goes to work (I work at home) >alone with her sister >she starts talking with me >more boner >can't hide it >she notices it >just smiles, doesn't say anything >try to get away >she corners me and doesn't let me leave >finally comments on my boner >trapped like a rat in a cage >come clean and admit everything >she says it's okay >rubs my bulge >says it's really big >undoes my trousers >her eyes get really big >not as big as my c--- tho >she strokes it >I c-- >"this is our little secret anon, don't ever tell my sister" >noshitsherlock.png That was like three visits ago, I've never gotten more than a handy from her, but I always get them, and yes I still rub one out when I hear her voice on the phone.

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Anon larps as a pirate | /r/Greentext

ile: image jpg (16 KB, 409x307) Anonymous (ID: öyTxwp3) 05/19/14(Mon)01:31:58 Worst sex story thread? >Be me >Just graduated >Hanging out with qt3.14 girlfriend after Graduation party >Both extremely drunk >On my bed >She starts rubbing my c--- through my jeans >Says that she's never role played and wants to try >"O-okay what do you want to do?" >"Ive always wanted to f--- Jack Sparrow" >Wat.jpg >Only thíng I have pirate related is an eyepatch and a pirate hat from a few halloweens ago >Letsdothis.avi >She starts sucking me off >in the spurr of the moment shout "THARR SHE BLOWS" >Realize what I just said >She starts laughing and ends up gagging on my d--- and puking >C-- because she was deepthroating when it happened >Dad walks in >"Hey anon do you." >Stares at the horrific scene that has just happend >Mixture of c-- and puke all over bed >Look at dad and say "A-ahoy matey" >He backs out and closes my door >Pretty sure he ran after ciosing the door >Never looks me in the eye again >Mfw

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Anon watches the Matrix | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)23:07:14 No.869140390 >load up Matrix Ressurection on НВО >instantly greeted with "strong female character with short blue hair" >instantly knew the movie would 64 KB JPG suck

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Anon takes a shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)07:55:05 No.63251555 >be me IZONE >s------- in public university cool bathroom >no one else here >two alphas walk in >l'm squat pooping, so they don't see my feet under the stall door 465 KB PNG >don't want them to bully me, so I stay as quiet as possible >they start talking about sex and drugs and other alpha things >goes on for five minutes >they notice one of the stall doors is closed >knock on door >'yo, is anyone in there?' >panic >shout 'F--- OFF! >my voice is incredibly deep >they leave the bathroom quickly >mfw I scared the alphas

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Halo Infinite sucks dick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous embarrassing moments 12/22/21(Wed)20:16:36 No.23698039 >my brother's girlfriend found out I was trans (brother outed me to her) >she asked me to elaborate on that ("so do you want to become a girl or..." >"no,I was born a female and I transitioned to be a man") >she covers her mouth and gasps "OH 367 KB PNG MY GOOO0OD... so precious" >brother looks at me awkwardly >she says "we should go shopping some time" >w--? >last weekend she texts me and says they were having a girl's night out shopping for Christmas presents >"I'm not interested" >she calls me >"can you please come pleeeeeeease" >"no" >"I'll buy you whatever you want up to $100" >"ok fine" >we're at the mall with her and 2 of her friends >she introduces me to them >"hey I said I would get you something if you came, where do you want to go?" >"ok come with me" >walk to Gamestop >they're talking to each other while I am quiet >ask the cashier for Halo Infinite >brother's gf says "wait... we need to have a talk about this?" >"you said anything under $100" >"ok yeah... okay it will be on debit" >she pays for the game >we leave the store and she walks to a bench and gestures for me to sit down >"so... I thought your brother said you were trans? like born female and all that?" >"yeah?" >"but you picked out a video game? what's that all about?" >"well what were you expecting?" >"but you are born female you should have you know... don't you like clothes or makeup surely you grew up with an interest in girl things? I don't understand why you picked a video game?" >there's this look of utter confusion on her face >"I always played games, why are you looking at me like that?" >"when I said we'll go shopping I meant clothes and makeup and stuff. surely you knew what I meant? and you're not talking? you aren't really fun..." >"I don't want to argue with you" >"I mean this isn't how I pictured it at all... can I have the game and give it to my boyfriend for Christmas, I paid for it" >"you said that you will buy it for me if I came" >"but this isn't how I pictured it you know..."

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Anon takes a cruise | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/20(Sat)21:36:09 No.59475320 >on a Swedish cruise ship >I have to s--- really badly >take a nice huge dump and try to flush the toilet >toilet's broken >no matter how hard I try, the s--- won't flufh >go find a cleaning lady 360 KB PNG >l don't speak Swedish, she doesn't speak English >grab her hand and pull her to a man's toilet >point at the giant s--- you took >the only word I know in Swedish is "titta" ("look") >s--- flushes normally >mfw

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Trust Science | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 2hdbf9Uh 12/22/21(Wed)21:59:48 No.353248249 RUST SCIENCE no ne North America... The Kingdom of Tyrannosaurus rex The Late Cretaceous of North America was home to many of the dinosaurs we know best. The Earth was much warmer than atonsant areatadood foraste th 7gpjg3wnf4781.jpg 1.47 MB JPG >take the kids to see the T-rex >see this

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