Anon autism is strong | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)21:15:11 No.66657584 >be me >walk through hallway >girl coming the other way >could move around but figure she'll move >she doesn't >eventually stop in front of each other >try going my right, she does too >same when going left >ok this is going nowhere >grab her arms like picking up a box by the sides >pick her up, turn around, set her down without saying a word >give her a nod as she looks at me wide eyed >turn around and go on my way Autism makes me strong

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon Respects m’theydy’s Pronouns | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:58:35 No.849733154 >be me >a good boy >eating tendies >a wendys worker cutie girl delivers my dewy >mom tells me to thank her 24 KB JPG >this girl is waifu material >thank you m'lady >she starts yelling that she does not identify as a lady and that her pronouns are them/they >sorry, m'theydy >they gift me a box of tendies >life is good

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Anon has a healthy relationship with his sister in law | /r/Greentext

Board /b/ - Random Settings Mobile Home >wife talks to sister on phone a lot >mostly on speakerphone >one day start to masturbate to her sister's voice Paser nt sin 78 KB PNG >came buckets >habit.jpg >this goes on for months >her sister comes to visit >hear her voice >boner.mkv >wife goes to work (I work at home) >alone with her sister >she starts talking with me >more boner >can't hide it >she notices it >just smiles, doesn't say anything >try to get away >she corners me and doesn't let me leave >finally comments on my boner >trapped like a rat in a cage >come clean and admit everything >she says it's okay >rubs my bulge >says it's really big >undoes my trousers >her eyes get really big >not as big as my c--- tho >she strokes it >I c-- >"this is our little secret anon, don't ever tell my sister" >noshitsherlock.png That was like three visits ago, I've never gotten more than a handy from her, but I always get them, and yes I still rub one out when I hear her voice on the phone.

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Anon larps as a pirate | /r/Greentext

ile: image jpg (16 KB, 409x307) Anonymous (ID: öyTxwp3) 05/19/14(Mon)01:31:58 Worst sex story thread? >Be me >Just graduated >Hanging out with qt3.14 girlfriend after Graduation party >Both extremely drunk >On my bed >She starts rubbing my c--- through my jeans >Says that she's never role played and wants to try >"O-okay what do you want to do?" >"Ive always wanted to f--- Jack Sparrow" >Wat.jpg >Only thíng I have pirate related is an eyepatch and a pirate hat from a few halloweens ago >Letsdothis.avi >She starts sucking me off >in the spurr of the moment shout "THARR SHE BLOWS" >Realize what I just said >She starts laughing and ends up gagging on my d--- and puking >C-- because she was deepthroating when it happened >Dad walks in >"Hey anon do you." >Stares at the horrific scene that has just happend >Mixture of c-- and puke all over bed >Look at dad and say "A-ahoy matey" >He backs out and closes my door >Pretty sure he ran after ciosing the door >Never looks me in the eye again >Mfw

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Anon watches the Matrix | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)23:07:14 No.869140390 >load up Matrix Ressurection on НВО >instantly greeted with "strong female character with short blue hair" >instantly knew the movie would 64 KB JPG suck

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Anon takes a shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)07:55:05 No.63251555 >be me IZONE >s------- in public university cool bathroom >no one else here >two alphas walk in >l'm squat pooping, so they don't see my feet under the stall door 465 KB PNG >don't want them to bully me, so I stay as quiet as possible >they start talking about sex and drugs and other alpha things >goes on for five minutes >they notice one of the stall doors is closed >knock on door >'yo, is anyone in there?' >panic >shout 'F--- OFF! >my voice is incredibly deep >they leave the bathroom quickly >mfw I scared the alphas

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Halo Infinite sucks dick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous embarrassing moments 12/22/21(Wed)20:16:36 No.23698039 >my brother's girlfriend found out I was trans (brother outed me to her) >she asked me to elaborate on that ("so do you want to become a girl or..." >"no,I was born a female and I transitioned to be a man") >she covers her mouth and gasps "OH 367 KB PNG MY GOOO0OD... so precious" >brother looks at me awkwardly >she says "we should go shopping some time" >w--? >last weekend she texts me and says they were having a girl's night out shopping for Christmas presents >"I'm not interested" >she calls me >"can you please come pleeeeeeease" >"no" >"I'll buy you whatever you want up to $100" >"ok fine" >we're at the mall with her and 2 of her friends >she introduces me to them >"hey I said I would get you something if you came, where do you want to go?" >"ok come with me" >walk to Gamestop >they're talking to each other while I am quiet >ask the cashier for Halo Infinite >brother's gf says "wait... we need to have a talk about this?" >"you said anything under $100" >"ok yeah... okay it will be on debit" >she pays for the game >we leave the store and she walks to a bench and gestures for me to sit down >"so... I thought your brother said you were trans? like born female and all that?" >"yeah?" >"but you picked out a video game? what's that all about?" >"well what were you expecting?" >"but you are born female you should have you know... don't you like clothes or makeup surely you grew up with an interest in girl things? I don't understand why you picked a video game?" >there's this look of utter confusion on her face >"I always played games, why are you looking at me like that?" >"when I said we'll go shopping I meant clothes and makeup and stuff. surely you knew what I meant? and you're not talking? you aren't really fun..." >"I don't want to argue with you" >"I mean this isn't how I pictured it at all... can I have the game and give it to my boyfriend for Christmas, I paid for it" >"you said that you will buy it for me if I came" >"but this isn't how I pictured it you know..."

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Anon takes a cruise | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/20(Sat)21:36:09 No.59475320 >on a Swedish cruise ship >I have to s--- really badly >take a nice huge dump and try to flush the toilet >toilet's broken >no matter how hard I try, the s--- won't flufh >go find a cleaning lady 360 KB PNG >l don't speak Swedish, she doesn't speak English >grab her hand and pull her to a man's toilet >point at the giant s--- you took >the only word I know in Swedish is "titta" ("look") >s--- flushes normally >mfw

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Trust Science | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 2hdbf9Uh 12/22/21(Wed)21:59:48 No.353248249 RUST SCIENCE no ne North America... The Kingdom of Tyrannosaurus rex The Late Cretaceous of North America was home to many of the dinosaurs we know best. The Earth was much warmer than atonsant areatadood foraste th 7gpjg3wnf4781.jpg 1.47 MB JPG >take the kids to see the T-rex >see this

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Anon becomes the best version of himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)15:40:45 No.61062269 >I'm 27 and don't enjoy anything anymore >read the New Testament >become a Christian >Start practicing nofap >get a job 80 KB JPG >fix my relationship with my parents >start fasting and exercising frequently >quit p--- and m----------- >start practicing guitar >meditate everyday for 15 minutes >suddenly everything becomes enjoyable again >Even the sunlight is beautiful >walking down a forest trail is incredible >feel the best I've felt in years I'm 27 and I'm starting to enjoy things again. Is this the beginning of the road?

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Anon admires the Finish president | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 9)ZD606A 12/22/21(Wed)11:40:12 No.353184800 >made Finland the happiest country on earth >turned Finland into a global military power by building up a fleet of 64 F35s. How does she do it? 833 KB JPG E Anonymous (ID: J63N/krF)O 12/22/21(Wed)11:41:20 No.353184898 >>353185129 # >>353189923 # >>353200519 # >>353200557 # >>353201383 # : Anonymous (ID: VHSCDOPI 12/22/21(Wed)11:41:45 No.353184930 >>353184800 (OP) # Not sure. But l'd love to watch her squeeze out a thick Finnish turd. Steaming in the crisp cold air, the smell hanging as thick as her poo in the air. >>353185128 # >>353193941 # >>353194282 # >>353197696 #

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Anon had a weird dream | /r/Greentext

>weird f------ dream i had: >chilling in my room >look through my window on second floor >see three elderly women passing by on the road >look at them for a while 599 KB PNG >one of them looks at my window >oh s--- they saw me >she takes a TV temote control and points it towards my window. >window turns black >bitch just turned off my window >wake up angry >what??

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Anon is beta simp | /r/Greentext

>>66664342 >>66664400 >>66664440 >>66664450 Lads what's the simplest thing you've ever done? I'll go first >9th grade >Hanging out with oneitis >She has been dating some cholo thug who is like 22 when we're 13 >He comes over to her house and f---- her whenever her parents aren't home >One day we're chilling like usual >She asks if she can confide in me >Sure I guess >She tells me that her boyfriend doesn't give her head because he thinks it's gay to eat p---- >She's getting tired of having sex with him because of it >Wants to break up with him over it >This is my shot to finally date her >Instead she asks me if I can eat her out before he gets here so she'll be wet when he f---- her >Agree like a beta simp >Eat her out for 45 minutes >She tells me she'll let me make love to her for the favor >Start taking my pants off >Finally about to have sex with the girl I've been simping over since 3rd grade >About to put it in >Front door opens >It's her drug dealer bf >She makes me get in the closet since he's coming upstairs, tells me I can f--- her later >he comes upstairs >Doesn't even say anything, just pulls up her skirt and goes to town on her >He's like 8 inches too p---- >He pounds her for like 45 minutes >I watch the whole thing, try to j------- but l'm too sad >C--- balls deep in her >Leaves >Come out of her closet >"Anon I know I said l'd let you f--- me earlier but my p---- is really sore, can we just cuddle instead?" >Agree because I'm beta af After that I ended up driving to the pharmacy and getting a plan b for her. The saddest thing is that I have so many simp moments related to this girl and a few others. I'm like the least sexually threatening person on the planet so women don't even register me when they have their w---- talks. God I hate myself

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