Anon buys lunch | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Hello darkness my old friend | /r/Greentext

: Anon 09/04/21(Sat)00:01:36 No.65250642 >met cute girl >talk for a week or so and we go out on a date >she's really cool, we go back to her place and listen to music and talk for hours 58 KB JPG >rarely ever go on dates >almost never go on a second date because i'm usually not interested >this girl is different, really cool and fun to hang out with >talk all this week, she seems genuinely excited to see me again >schedule a second date for friday (today) >thursday she texts me saying she'll have to delay our date a bit >going to dinner with coworker first >tell her it's totally fine and that i can just come a bit later >don't think much of it because she was upfront and honest about it >today comes around >she texts me saying she's not feeling well and will have to cancel >'coincidentally' a while after she said she was going to be out for dinner >tell her it's all right and asks if she'd like to reschedule to this weekend >text her again a few hours later asking how she's feeling >read 4 hours ago >cripplinganxiety.png >mrbrightsidewasright.rar >listen to radiohead all night >text a few friends saying i'm feeling down and asking if any of them have time to talk >no responses just when i thought i was out, the doomer life pulled me back in

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Anon drinks milk | /r/Greentext

File: yrkfgg609xf71.jpg (26 KB, 640x301) : Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)21:38:17 No.3883316 >Moo at a cow >lt moos back We are friends 101 KB PNG Anonymous 09/03/21(Fri)21:28:48 No.862382902 > be me > asleep, dreaming > am really thirsty in dream > sudden desire for milk > search everywhere for milk to quench my thirst > wake up > idea.jpg > get glass > meticulously get the ice out the freezer > pour milk > drink a delicious glass of milk cross legged on my kitchen floor at 1am > living the dream

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Anon gets a match on Tinder. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 09/03/21(Fri)21:29:44 No.65249827 >>65249886 >>65250281 > Get a match on Tinder > The girl is actually attractive, e-girl energy that I've been craving for > Pretty much nonexistent t---, but nice ass > We chat for a bit, sharing our similar music taste. We're both kind of awkward, but our energy matches together. It's perfect. > We quickly share our numbers later and text all night. > Text her at work the next day, asking if she can come over to my apartment after my shift > She says yes > H--------. This is my first actual fling since the pandemic. I'm so happy. > I get home and I hear a knock. > It's her > She looks so much better in person than in her photos. > We get high and make out for a bit > She takes off her clothes > Reveals a massive c--- > Still hit it F---. Why is my life like this.

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Beer For Two Please | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/21(Thu)09:25:30 No.63319536 >be me >at grocery store buying steak, asparagus and beer after gym >in tank top after back day, still massive pump >go pay >there's a qt goth gf working the register >asks for my id because beer >out of state ID “she says oh are you visiting here?" >"no haha" >she tried to make small talk about where l'm from but I don't like talking about my privacy >she goes "that's a lot of beer, are you going to drink all this by yourself or is your girlfriend helping?" >say "no haha it's for me but i won't drink it all tonight." >she says "oh ok, this is my favorite beer and I get off in an hour." >say "oh cool haha" >pay and walk out >mfw she doesn't talk to me anymore it's ok tho, rejecting girls with my autism is usually funner than pursuing them

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r/greentext will eventually surpass r/4chan to become the largest 4chan-themed subreddit | /r/Greentext

greentext join 1,201,396 readers 5,469 users here now 4chan join 1,219,318 readers 1,434 users here now

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Anon is british | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)21:09:38 No.64839485 >talking to a friendly girl on discord >having a nice chat >ask her if she wants to voice chat for a bit >"sure, that sounds fun. i talked to a british guy yesterday and it was awful, i hate their accents so 83 KB PNG much" >"oh...well i'm british" >she deletes me instantly just when i was looking forward to do some socializing 66 Replies / 11 Images View Thread : Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)00:18:13 No.64841237 >>64839485 (OP) # >>she deletes me instantly Get f-----, limey 28 KB PNG

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Anon takes the Islampill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/21(Fri)07:36:31 No.862318678 When is /b/ going to take the Islampill? >Allah (swt) is the sole, unique, all-powerful creator of the universe >Islam only asks of you what is good for you anyway: not drinking alcohol, not eating pig flesh, being 31 KB PNG clean and reverent (just like the Boy Scouts) >Muhammad (pbuh), the Seal of the Prophets, was continuing the prophetic tradition of Ibraham, David, and Jesus; Islam is literally the perfection of the original messages of Judaism and Christianity; converting to Islam from Christianity or Judaism is upgrading to the faith required by Allah (swt) >you can have up to 4 wives, or none if you want (marriage is not obligatory in Islam) >you cannot lend money at interest; usury is a filthy Jewish practice >you must practice charity toward the poor >you get to travel to interesting foreign places for the Hajj and Umrah Unlike in, say, Catholicism, there is no long, complicated set of practices and rituals required to become a Muslim. All you have to do is say and sincerely believe the Shahada.

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Anon’s pubes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 tunti sitten 758391720 >be me >taking a piss at school toilet >my pubes are longer than my pathetic d--- >done pissing, pull up pants >feels a bit funny, dont think nothing of it >step outside >thots and chads stare at me with the faces of pure disgust >what.png >look at my pants >my pubes are sticking out >s--- out watery spaghetti at max velocity >rush back into the toiletroom >have a panic attack >mfw 2 VASTAUKSET Anonymous 1 tunti sitten 758391799 : shave your f------ pubes you filthy ape Anonymous 38 minuuttia sitten 758392928: >>758391720 (OP) post pic, OP

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Breaking and entering | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How to deal with looking like (...) 08/17/21(Tue)12:49:08 No.63076815 >Be me >Deadlift stooge >6'4 280 lbs >leave the gym after a comfy lift and swim >qt cardio bunny mirin as I'm headed out 22 KB JPG >next day go gym >qt there again >decide to approach her with confidence >"you look like Hodor" How does one recover from this?

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Some Would Say it’s a Plus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/21(Thu)07:23:07 No.63317818 l'll start: >be me >pretty big and jacked (5'10, 150 lbs, 1pl8 bench) >working out at the gym >staring at 10/10 babe with huge juicy ass >5 inch girthy d--- becomes diamonds >makes a tent in my basketball shorts >gym babe's equally hot friend notices >she whispers something to gym babe >they both check out my huge boner >stick my hips out to make it even bigger >they both whisper and giggle with each other, clearly miring my package >first time a female has shown interest in me, never been so hard before >gym babe gives me a flirty smirk and sticks her ass out a little >l instantly c-- in my pants, bucking over and trying not to groan >panick and run into lockerooms before my j--- leaks everywhere (I don't wear underwear) >hear them laughing as I run, hopefully she's still into me Gonna ask for her number tomorrow bros but l'm so nervous...

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The Customer is All That Matters | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous conversation I had with my aun(...) 09/03/21(Fri)01:13:23 No.65239532 >"Hey anon, I was discussing how I needed new gardening tools with my friend over the phone, and then I got advertisements for gardening tools while I was browsing the internet! isn't that so creepy?" MEV >Yeah, that's because Amazon records 83 KB JPG your calls and uses those to advertise to you >"But isn't it so creepy how I was having a phone call and then I get ads online?" >lt is, and that's why I use my phone that much, because Amazon records your calls so they know what to sell you >"But I'm just saying, isn't it weird how I was having a phone call with my friend and then I got ads for gardening tools online?" >Auntie, yes, it is creepy and weird, and the reason that happened is because Amazon is linked to your phone and records your private conversations, and then runs them through either a person or an algorithm so they know what it is they need to advertise to you so they can make money. >But I'm just saying, isn't it kinda scary how I was on the phone talking about gardening tools and then I got online ads for gardening tools?" If there is a God loves us, why would he make boomers?

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Chicken tendies | /r/Greentext

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