Beer For Two Please | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 09/02/21(Thu)09:25:30 No.63319536 >be me >at grocery store buying steak, asparagus and beer after gym >in tank top after back day, still massive pump >go pay >there's a qt goth gf working the register >asks for my id because beer >out of state ID “she says oh are you visiting here?" >"no haha" >she tried to make small talk about where l'm from but I don't like talking about my privacy >she goes "that's a lot of beer, are you going to drink all this by yourself or is your girlfriend helping?" >say "no haha it's for me but i won't drink it all tonight." >she says "oh ok, this is my favorite beer and I get off in an hour." >say "oh cool haha" >pay and walk out >mfw she doesn't talk to me anymore it's ok tho, rejecting girls with my autism is usually funner than pursuing them

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is british | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)21:09:38 No.64839485 >talking to a friendly girl on discord >having a nice chat >ask her if she wants to voice chat for a bit >"sure, that sounds fun. i talked to a british guy yesterday and it was awful, i hate their accents so 83 KB PNG much" >"oh...well i'm british" >she deletes me instantly just when i was looking forward to do some socializing 66 Replies / 11 Images View Thread : Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)00:18:13 No.64841237 >>64839485 (OP) # >>she deletes me instantly Get f-----, limey 28 KB PNG

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Anon takes the Islampill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/21(Fri)07:36:31 No.862318678 When is /b/ going to take the Islampill? >Allah (swt) is the sole, unique, all-powerful creator of the universe >Islam only asks of you what is good for you anyway: not drinking alcohol, not eating pig flesh, being 31 KB PNG clean and reverent (just like the Boy Scouts) >Muhammad (pbuh), the Seal of the Prophets, was continuing the prophetic tradition of Ibraham, David, and Jesus; Islam is literally the perfection of the original messages of Judaism and Christianity; converting to Islam from Christianity or Judaism is upgrading to the faith required by Allah (swt) >you can have up to 4 wives, or none if you want (marriage is not obligatory in Islam) >you cannot lend money at interest; usury is a filthy Jewish practice >you must practice charity toward the poor >you get to travel to interesting foreign places for the Hajj and Umrah Unlike in, say, Catholicism, there is no long, complicated set of practices and rituals required to become a Muslim. All you have to do is say and sincerely believe the Shahada.

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Anon’s pubes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 tunti sitten 758391720 >be me >taking a piss at school toilet >my pubes are longer than my pathetic d--- >done pissing, pull up pants >feels a bit funny, dont think nothing of it >step outside >thots and chads stare at me with the faces of pure disgust >what.png >look at my pants >my pubes are sticking out >s--- out watery spaghetti at max velocity >rush back into the toiletroom >have a panic attack >mfw 2 VASTAUKSET Anonymous 1 tunti sitten 758391799 : shave your f------ pubes you filthy ape Anonymous 38 minuuttia sitten 758392928: >>758391720 (OP) post pic, OP

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Breaking and entering | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How to deal with looking like (...) 08/17/21(Tue)12:49:08 No.63076815 >Be me >Deadlift stooge >6'4 280 lbs >leave the gym after a comfy lift and swim >qt cardio bunny mirin as I'm headed out 22 KB JPG >next day go gym >qt there again >decide to approach her with confidence >"you look like Hodor" How does one recover from this?

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Some Would Say it’s a Plus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/21(Thu)07:23:07 No.63317818 l'll start: >be me >pretty big and jacked (5'10, 150 lbs, 1pl8 bench) >working out at the gym >staring at 10/10 babe with huge juicy ass >5 inch girthy d--- becomes diamonds >makes a tent in my basketball shorts >gym babe's equally hot friend notices >she whispers something to gym babe >they both check out my huge boner >stick my hips out to make it even bigger >they both whisper and giggle with each other, clearly miring my package >first time a female has shown interest in me, never been so hard before >gym babe gives me a flirty smirk and sticks her ass out a little >l instantly c-- in my pants, bucking over and trying not to groan >panick and run into lockerooms before my j--- leaks everywhere (I don't wear underwear) >hear them laughing as I run, hopefully she's still into me Gonna ask for her number tomorrow bros but l'm so nervous...

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The Customer is All That Matters | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous conversation I had with my aun(...) 09/03/21(Fri)01:13:23 No.65239532 >"Hey anon, I was discussing how I needed new gardening tools with my friend over the phone, and then I got advertisements for gardening tools while I was browsing the internet! isn't that so creepy?" MEV >Yeah, that's because Amazon records 83 KB JPG your calls and uses those to advertise to you >"But isn't it so creepy how I was having a phone call and then I get ads online?" >lt is, and that's why I use my phone that much, because Amazon records your calls so they know what to sell you >"But I'm just saying, isn't it weird how I was having a phone call with my friend and then I got ads for gardening tools online?" >Auntie, yes, it is creepy and weird, and the reason that happened is because Amazon is linked to your phone and records your private conversations, and then runs them through either a person or an algorithm so they know what it is they need to advertise to you so they can make money. >But I'm just saying, isn't it kinda scary how I was on the phone talking about gardening tools and then I got online ads for gardening tools?" If there is a God loves us, why would he make boomers?

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Chicken tendies | /r/Greentext

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Anon has a condition | /r/Greentext

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anon pulls out of the desert | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/22/19(Sun)05:36:09 No.55912135 >>55911851 (OP) # Some Anon already made a good post about this feel >When you're there, you imagine how grand it would be to go home, but when you get back home, you realize that life carried on without you.... and that you were never really needed there. In the desert, we were needed. People relied on us. I understand why troops get depressed when they return home... because we don't need people's pity. We need a purpose. Outside of the consumerist matrix of America, we found a purpose, even if it's not what we initially wanted for ourselves. Coming back to 126 KB PNG the land of excessive convenience and incessant cynicism, we found ourselves stripped of the roles we'd spent time devoting our sweat to. They give us a pat on the back, some time off & a free annual meal at Applebee's... but where's the purpose? Consuming just to consume, with the only struggle being, "how can I consume more?" America.... the land of the free, and the home of the perpetually depressed souls, who always see the green grass while standing on their dead lawns. The desert was red, but the desert was green.

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A Winner is Just a Loser That Tried One More Time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/21(Thu)11:39:43 No.63321424 Leo Dicaprio >literally unmoggable >11/10 females immediately remove their panties and throw themselves at him Leo DiCaprio Flew A Crew Of Perfect 10 Models To A Private Island Party For New Year's Eve ty Dat L >renowned movie star >by all accounts a bro as well >lifted? not even once unless you count 722 KB JPG lifting 100lb models to bed how to achieve this mode?

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Anon is bipolar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/21(Fri)13:24:02 No.65243009 >be me >feel like a god >unfriend everyone because I feel like a god >don't feel like a god anymore >miss friends 79 KB JPG make up your f------ mind already stupid brain 3 Replies View Thread

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