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: i don't even f------ know 11/23/18(Fri)01:18:32 No.49441899 I'm very sorry for what you all are about to hear: >be 10yo me >be in 5th grade >new student walks inside the classroom 6 KB PNG >everybody notices how short, and ugly this kid looks >he is also wearing some kind of red Santa hat, despite it being March at the time >later at lunch, kids were calling him a goblin >then he starts yelling at the kids, and then we learn that he has a ridiculous accent, probably Irish, or British or some s--- >then one kid comes over, and calls him an elf >that's when he loses his s--- >he kicks the kid in the groin, and starts scratching his chest >with one swift punch, he knocks him out >holyfuck.jpg >the weird kid gets up, and starts stomping, and shouting at us >"i'm not a g-nelf, i'm not a g-noblin... i'm a g-nome, and you've been... GNOMED!"

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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

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Anon Breaks a Promise | /r/Greentext

>>96970883 # >Have lifelong childhood best friend who is a girl >We swear 100% never to be boyfriend and girlfriend >Come 18 we're f------ like rabbits >Married her at 25. >>96983342 # Anonymous 11/22/17(Wed)15:10:37 No.9698334 >>96978978 # How does happiness feel anon? Care to share it with us?

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Anon shares his passion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)19:22:54 No.855145756 Wholesome stories with dads WERE GONNA DESTROY BULGARIA >be me >a few years ago >getting hours for drivers Ed with my dad ONCE AND FOR ALL >we've been silent the entire time because we don't talk much 487 KB JPG >out of the blue he asks what I'm interested in >start talking about sports, friends,etc. >"No Anon, what are you REALLY interested in?" >think for a minute >say history >my dad wasn't the smartest guy alive so he only knows past WW1 >asks what happened before WW1 >explain to him most European and American history after 1066 >never enjoyed myself more >dad actually paying attention and asking questions >we get home >says he wants to talk about history more and is happy to learn something at his age Love you dad.

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Anon has a good friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)23:01:50 No.63807024 aMC HD maxresdefault (2).jpg 84 KB JPG >>63804900 (OP) # >friend gets picked as team captain >picks me first even though the other team has a chance of picking a much better player

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Anon finally sees 4chan for what it is | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 774692608 25 min. ago > 10 years agoI was afraid to post here thinking you guys are all hackers and badass >now I realize you are all a bunch of f------ 5.6 kB JPG 3 REPLIES 4 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 774692704 24 min. ago >>774692608 (OP) >welcome home you gay bitch 1 REPLY

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Anon gets the vaccine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)16:30:43 No.8551462 >be me >just got COVID vaccine >have sudden urge to purchase Microsoft Office™ available now for only $69.99 per year 5 KB JPG

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The same green text posted every day but it’s lower quality, keep it going | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/08/16(Sun)23.04:54. No:68336816il >be me >20 Swalking around Brooklyn Enew to the aty >feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top.of my lungs G.KB JPG >BADDA BING > some falliguy in a greasy tank lop yells from hls apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw

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Fucking based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)21:57:49 No.855118156 I just learned of this guy last month. Seems really smart but apparently most people don't think so. Give me your honest reasons why you don't like this guy? > Ben Shapiro 26 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)21:58:17 No.855118182 >>855118156 (OP) # >jewish

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anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

>assigned to do a project with a co- worker >whenever we do some progress or get past a roadblock say the word "stupendous" >do it for a couple weeks >co-worker eventually starts picking it up 451 KB PNG >pavlov.png >co-worker starts saying stupendous as well in the same situations >stop saying it >ffw 1 month, project pretty much done >just cleared the last bug, co-worker says stupendous >allacordingtoplan.wav >"huh? that's an unusual expression" >"what do you mean, anon? I heard it from you" >"i never used that word in my life" see you soon on the board, fellow schizo

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Anon dodges homework by hacking the school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)14:36:23 No.81740304 >be in 7th grade >group PP presentations due unironically on tech topics >powerpoints were to be saved in the class network drive >be lazy and do nothing in meme class with friend >first day of presentations 250 KB PNG >panic.html >recall network drive not having any rules >ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DELETE >yes >first group of girls go up, digging through the network drive to no avail >confusion for 20 minutes >uncontrollable giggle everytime i make eye contact with friend >teacher realizes everyones projects are gone and not backed up >ff to being pulled outside of the classroom with fellow retard >DONT LIE TO ME ANONS. DID EITHER OF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS >literally puncturing tongue with teeth trying not to laugh >"No" >never even slightly worried about getting caught >continued to rename teacher folders throughout the year to obscene names and delete ones we didn't like >mfw

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Anon complains about mom stuff | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:27:58 No.63802231 >age 16 >fall asleep on the couch in an awkward position >mom takes a f------ picture of it >when I wake up she shows me >urge her to delete it >she promises she'll delete it 39 KB JPG >4 years later >sister makes a stupid collage of family photos >there is only one image of me and it's me sleeping >not only did she not delete it but she sent it to other people

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Anon lives in Brazil | /r/Greentext

File: artworks-000206371365-8mf(.).jpg (41 KB, 500x500) O Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:42:00 No.855094960 [Reply] >>855095549 >>855096901 be me > lives in brazil > have a happy life with your family > pandemic and quarantine started > wife don't gives a s--- to quarantine > wife and son dies from corona > spend christmas alone > get fired from your job > ž months rent late guys i don't know what i do now this is not a joke but a cry for help Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:45:51 No.855095170 >lives in brazil you didn't need to write the rest buddy

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anon is messaging evey single OF hoe | /r/Greentext

How do we solve the onlyfans problem? How do we solve the onlyfans p...) 05/20/21(Thu)22:06:20 No.63758950 Personally I'm messaging every single OF w---- that appears on my timeline and asking them if their parents know about it. If they don't then I stalk on their page a little bit and find their parents account on facebook, then shoot them a message explaining how their daughter is a common w----. So far l've done this 3 times. 39 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)22:16:50 No.63759092 >>63758950 (OP) # Absolutely 100% based. Don't forget to shoot the IRS some info too; online p---------- and/or prostitution must still be taxed and it usually isn't. Also, if these is a patreon, ko-fi or paypal donation/commissions link on their page, contact the site. Paypal (as well as patreon, ko-fi and the rest) is 100% against soliciting money for p---------- and prostitution. They take that VERY seriously, especially paypal. If you inform them that a client is taking money for nudes and stuff, they will quickly shut down their account AND freeze their assets. You can basically easily take away their w----- money, and it's not even illegal for you to do it - paypal is very serious about this. Don't warn or scare the w---- before you report them, because they might transfer their money before you get a chance to inform paypal. Godspeed brother. >>63759127 # >>63759789 # >>63760655 # >>63760720 # >>63761203 # >>63761631 # >>63762235 # >>63762905 # >>63765288 #

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Greentext Stories - Anon meets the new student | /r/Greentext

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: i don't even f------ know 11/23/18(Fri)01:18:32 No.49441899 I'm very sorry for what you all are about to hear: >be 10yo me >be in 5th grade >new student walks inside the classroom 6 KB PNG >everybody notices how short, and ugly this kid looks >he is also wearing some kind of red Santa hat, despite it being March at the time >later at lunch, kids were calling him a goblin >then he starts yelling at the kids, and then we learn that he has a ridiculous accent, probably Irish, or British or some s--- >then one kid comes over, and calls him an elf >that's when he loses his s--- >he kicks the kid in the groin, and starts scratching his chest >with one swift punch, he knocks him out >holyfuck.jpg >the weird kid gets up, and starts stomping, and shouting at us >"i'm not a g-nelf, i'm not a g-noblin... i'm a g-nome, and you've been... GNOMED!"

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