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Anonymous 05/08/16(Sun)23.04:54. No:68336816il >be me >20 Swalking around Brooklyn Enew to the aty >feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top.of my lungs G.KB JPG >BADDA BING > some falliguy in a greasy tank lop yells from hls apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw

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Anonymous 145 KB JPG meat than usual 04/29/22(Fri)17:32:59 No.877174970 >i go almost daily to buy kebab from the same place (close both to my house and my work place) >There is this underpaid and overworked arab guy that makes the kebab >I always tip 50% >He always packs my kebab with more >He also knows how i like it, big and spicy with all the sauces and a diet pepsi >He gets verry happy when he sees me and he calls me ,,boss,,and,,brother,, >Today i was sad af but the,,hello boss, the usual?" Made me feel better >Kebab heals people

Anonymous 12/29/24(Sun)08:06:16 No.698643963 >video game reviewer starts talking about his childhood

>>202596752 (OP) This is becoming a problem, at first it was a few isolated cases but now it's an epidemic. Why aren't politicians and law enforcement doing anything about this? Serious answer: the whole appeal is self-inserting as the shota and being treated as a desirable object of affection by attractive women. Childhood is the last time women unconditionally love you, dote on you and allow you to be weak. After that you might as well be dead to them and you're expected to "earn" their attention. Basically you're there to impress her, but women don't feel the need to impress you. Projecting back to childhood but with awareness of your own (and their) sexuality makes for an appealing fantasy.

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Fucking based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)21:57:49 No.855118156 I just learned of this guy last month. Seems really smart but apparently most people don't think so. Give me your honest reasons why you don't like this guy? > Ben Shapiro 26 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)21:58:17 No.855118182 >>855118156 (OP) # >jewish

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anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

>assigned to do a project with a co- worker >whenever we do some progress or get past a roadblock say the word "stupendous" >do it for a couple weeks >co-worker eventually starts picking it up 451 KB PNG >pavlov.png >co-worker starts saying stupendous as well in the same situations >stop saying it >ffw 1 month, project pretty much done >just cleared the last bug, co-worker says stupendous >allacordingtoplan.wav >"huh? that's an unusual expression" >"what do you mean, anon? I heard it from you" >"i never used that word in my life" see you soon on the board, fellow schizo

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Anon dodges homework by hacking the school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)14:36:23 No.81740304 >be in 7th grade >group PP presentations due unironically on tech topics >powerpoints were to be saved in the class network drive >be lazy and do nothing in meme class with friend >first day of presentations 250 KB PNG >panic.html >recall network drive not having any rules >ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DELETE >yes >first group of girls go up, digging through the network drive to no avail >confusion for 20 minutes >uncontrollable giggle everytime i make eye contact with friend >teacher realizes everyones projects are gone and not backed up >ff to being pulled outside of the classroom with fellow retard >DONT LIE TO ME ANONS. DID EITHER OF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS >literally puncturing tongue with teeth trying not to laugh >"No" >never even slightly worried about getting caught >continued to rename teacher folders throughout the year to obscene names and delete ones we didn't like >mfw

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Anon complains about mom stuff | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:27:58 No.63802231 >age 16 >fall asleep on the couch in an awkward position >mom takes a f------ picture of it >when I wake up she shows me >urge her to delete it >she promises she'll delete it 39 KB JPG >4 years later >sister makes a stupid collage of family photos >there is only one image of me and it's me sleeping >not only did she not delete it but she sent it to other people

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Anon lives in Brazil | /r/Greentext

File: artworks-000206371365-8mf(.).jpg (41 KB, 500x500) O Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:42:00 No.855094960 [Reply] >>855095549 >>855096901 be me > lives in brazil > have a happy life with your family > pandemic and quarantine started > wife don't gives a s--- to quarantine > wife and son dies from corona > spend christmas alone > get fired from your job > ž months rent late guys i don't know what i do now this is not a joke but a cry for help Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:45:51 No.855095170 >lives in brazil you didn't need to write the rest buddy

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anon is messaging evey single OF hoe | /r/Greentext

How do we solve the onlyfans problem? How do we solve the onlyfans p...) 05/20/21(Thu)22:06:20 No.63758950 Personally I'm messaging every single OF w---- that appears on my timeline and asking them if their parents know about it. If they don't then I stalk on their page a little bit and find their parents account on facebook, then shoot them a message explaining how their daughter is a common w----. So far l've done this 3 times. 39 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)22:16:50 No.63759092 >>63758950 (OP) # Absolutely 100% based. Don't forget to shoot the IRS some info too; online p---------- and/or prostitution must still be taxed and it usually isn't. Also, if these is a patreon, ko-fi or paypal donation/commissions link on their page, contact the site. Paypal (as well as patreon, ko-fi and the rest) is 100% against soliciting money for p---------- and prostitution. They take that VERY seriously, especially paypal. If you inform them that a client is taking money for nudes and stuff, they will quickly shut down their account AND freeze their assets. You can basically easily take away their w----- money, and it's not even illegal for you to do it - paypal is very serious about this. Don't warn or scare the w---- before you report them, because they might transfer their money before you get a chance to inform paypal. Godspeed brother. >>63759127 # >>63759789 # >>63760655 # >>63760720 # >>63761203 # >>63761631 # >>63762235 # >>63762905 # >>63765288 #

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Anon messes up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/04/17(Mon)23:06:31 No.744254245 > be me > 18yo > first b------- > feelsamazing > c--- buckets in her mouth > she swallows > your c-- tastes really bad anon 43 KB JPG > haha I know What have I done

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Anons based dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)01:27:12 No.855085790 Can we get a based dad thread going on? >be me >4 years old >dad takes me to mcdonalds for chicken 20 KB JPG nuggies and fwench fwies >spot a group of fat women sitting in the corner of the lobby as we're waiting in line. >point and scream at the top of my lungs "LOOK DAD!! FAT PEOPLE!!" in an attempt to make my dad laugh. >dad let's out the absolute loudest cackle >all three women stare at us in shock >"shhhhhh anonnnn pshhddd you can't say that fffpphhh" with the biggest s--- eating grin on his face >one of the women starts crying, while the other two just sat there staring angrily at us >dad and I leave immediately >don't speak a word about it in the car, but the s--- eating grin is still very much present >go to Burger King drive thru instead One of my fondest memories of him tbh

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Anon invites a friend over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: BbxYdjwH ) -E 05/19/21(Wed)04:48:12 No.12774839 >friend broke up >he asks if he can come to sleep in my place so he wouldnt be alone >i invite him over >without realising i dont have a 152 KB JPG spare mattress Pic related. Its me sleeping on my floor. Any tips on how to make it more comfortable? 14 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon needs to control his temper | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)06:30:36 No.63796085 >got fired from my last job for calling my boss a lazy p------------ >new job >have come extremely close to saying something similar to my new boss DVE 166 KB JPG How do I get in line and just accept my place as a wageslave? I cant keep losing jobs because of my tendency to speak my mind.

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Anon witnesses a rape dwarf/ravioli man crossover | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)22:34:03 No.855076140 >be me >jacking off alone >hear knock on door notagain.jpeg "COME IN" >hear door unlock 33 KB PNG >giggles THUMP THUMP THUMP >his c--- drags on the last step >he opens my door "Anon... I'm not here to r--- you, take some raviolis" >thanks r--- dwarf "Jk Imao" >bonk >knocked out >wake up with dwarf c-- in my ass

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Anon has the highground | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:51:42 No.855112209 > Working at IT department in bank > Company currently joined the woke-train and now we get all kinds of workshops on why straight white men are the devil > Roll eyes - none of the 1.48 MB GIF Directors/VPs are of color... > People start to insert moronic 'she/her' and 'his/him' to their signatures > Getting so annoyed by this, I insert 'they/them' in my signature > One of my colleagues (and one of the drivers behind this whole moronification of signatures) asks me about my signature > I reply "I don't think it's appropriate to talk about these things at work - please just respects my pronouns" > This person goes mad, accusing me of mocking the pronouns > I think "F--- it. No way for her to prove it", and step to HR to complain > Colleague is being asked to stop her questioning (and gets her first official warning), but still brings it up two more times > I go to HR again, she gets her second official warning > I'm enjoying that this moronic s--- is now biting the proponents in their ass > Again, she's alluding to my pronouns not being genuine during a meeting >I make a big scene of it (lulz), and HR gets involved again > Last Friday was her last day. So what have YOU been doing to make this world a better place?

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Greentext Stories - The same green text posted every day but it’s lower quality, keep it going | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 05/08/16(Sun)23.04:54. No:68336816il >be me >20 Swalking around Brooklyn Enew to the aty >feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top.of my lungs G.KB JPG >BADDA BING > some falliguy in a greasy tank lop yells from hls apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw

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