anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>assigned to do a project with a co- worker >whenever we do some progress or get past a roadblock say the word "stupendous" >do it for a couple weeks >co-worker eventually starts picking it up 451 KB PNG >pavlov.png >co-worker starts saying stupendous as well in the same situations >stop saying it >ffw 1 month, project pretty much done >just cleared the last bug, co-worker says stupendous >allacordingtoplan.wav >"huh? that's an unusual expression" >"what do you mean, anon? I heard it from you" >"i never used that word in my life" see you soon on the board, fellow schizo

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon dodges homework by hacking the school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)14:36:23 No.81740304 >be in 7th grade >group PP presentations due unironically on tech topics >powerpoints were to be saved in the class network drive >be lazy and do nothing in meme class with friend >first day of presentations 250 KB PNG >panic.html >recall network drive not having any rules >ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DELETE >yes >first group of girls go up, digging through the network drive to no avail >confusion for 20 minutes >uncontrollable giggle everytime i make eye contact with friend >teacher realizes everyones projects are gone and not backed up >ff to being pulled outside of the classroom with fellow retard >DONT LIE TO ME ANONS. DID EITHER OF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS >literally puncturing tongue with teeth trying not to laugh >"No" >never even slightly worried about getting caught >continued to rename teacher folders throughout the year to obscene names and delete ones we didn't like >mfw

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Anon complains about mom stuff | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:27:58 No.63802231 >age 16 >fall asleep on the couch in an awkward position >mom takes a f------ picture of it >when I wake up she shows me >urge her to delete it >she promises she'll delete it 39 KB JPG >4 years later >sister makes a stupid collage of family photos >there is only one image of me and it's me sleeping >not only did she not delete it but she sent it to other people

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Anon lives in Brazil | /r/Greentext

File: artworks-000206371365-8mf(.).jpg (41 KB, 500x500) O Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:42:00 No.855094960 [Reply] >>855095549 >>855096901 be me > lives in brazil > have a happy life with your family > pandemic and quarantine started > wife don't gives a s--- to quarantine > wife and son dies from corona > spend christmas alone > get fired from your job > ž months rent late guys i don't know what i do now this is not a joke but a cry for help Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:45:51 No.855095170 >lives in brazil you didn't need to write the rest buddy

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anon is messaging evey single OF hoe | /r/Greentext

How do we solve the onlyfans problem? How do we solve the onlyfans p...) 05/20/21(Thu)22:06:20 No.63758950 Personally I'm messaging every single OF w---- that appears on my timeline and asking them if their parents know about it. If they don't then I stalk on their page a little bit and find their parents account on facebook, then shoot them a message explaining how their daughter is a common w----. So far l've done this 3 times. 39 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)22:16:50 No.63759092 >>63758950 (OP) # Absolutely 100% based. Don't forget to shoot the IRS some info too; online p---------- and/or prostitution must still be taxed and it usually isn't. Also, if these is a patreon, ko-fi or paypal donation/commissions link on their page, contact the site. Paypal (as well as patreon, ko-fi and the rest) is 100% against soliciting money for p---------- and prostitution. They take that VERY seriously, especially paypal. If you inform them that a client is taking money for nudes and stuff, they will quickly shut down their account AND freeze their assets. You can basically easily take away their w----- money, and it's not even illegal for you to do it - paypal is very serious about this. Don't warn or scare the w---- before you report them, because they might transfer their money before you get a chance to inform paypal. Godspeed brother. >>63759127 # >>63759789 # >>63760655 # >>63760720 # >>63761203 # >>63761631 # >>63762235 # >>63762905 # >>63765288 #

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Anon messes up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/04/17(Mon)23:06:31 No.744254245 > be me > 18yo > first b------- > feelsamazing > c--- buckets in her mouth > she swallows > your c-- tastes really bad anon 43 KB JPG > haha I know What have I done

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Anons based dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)01:27:12 No.855085790 Can we get a based dad thread going on? >be me >4 years old >dad takes me to mcdonalds for chicken 20 KB JPG nuggies and fwench fwies >spot a group of fat women sitting in the corner of the lobby as we're waiting in line. >point and scream at the top of my lungs "LOOK DAD!! FAT PEOPLE!!" in an attempt to make my dad laugh. >dad let's out the absolute loudest cackle >all three women stare at us in shock >"shhhhhh anonnnn pshhddd you can't say that fffpphhh" with the biggest s--- eating grin on his face >one of the women starts crying, while the other two just sat there staring angrily at us >dad and I leave immediately >don't speak a word about it in the car, but the s--- eating grin is still very much present >go to Burger King drive thru instead One of my fondest memories of him tbh

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Anon invites a friend over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: BbxYdjwH ) -E 05/19/21(Wed)04:48:12 No.12774839 >friend broke up >he asks if he can come to sleep in my place so he wouldnt be alone >i invite him over >without realising i dont have a 152 KB JPG spare mattress Pic related. Its me sleeping on my floor. Any tips on how to make it more comfortable? 14 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon needs to control his temper | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)06:30:36 No.63796085 >got fired from my last job for calling my boss a lazy p------------ >new job >have come extremely close to saying something similar to my new boss DVE 166 KB JPG How do I get in line and just accept my place as a wageslave? I cant keep losing jobs because of my tendency to speak my mind.

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Anon witnesses a rape dwarf/ravioli man crossover | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)22:34:03 No.855076140 >be me >jacking off alone >hear knock on door notagain.jpeg "COME IN" >hear door unlock 33 KB PNG >giggles THUMP THUMP THUMP >his c--- drags on the last step >he opens my door "Anon... I'm not here to r--- you, take some raviolis" >thanks r--- dwarf "Jk Imao" >bonk >knocked out >wake up with dwarf c-- in my ass

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Anon has the highground | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:51:42 No.855112209 > Working at IT department in bank > Company currently joined the woke-train and now we get all kinds of workshops on why straight white men are the devil > Roll eyes - none of the 1.48 MB GIF Directors/VPs are of color... > People start to insert moronic 'she/her' and 'his/him' to their signatures > Getting so annoyed by this, I insert 'they/them' in my signature > One of my colleagues (and one of the drivers behind this whole moronification of signatures) asks me about my signature > I reply "I don't think it's appropriate to talk about these things at work - please just respects my pronouns" > This person goes mad, accusing me of mocking the pronouns > I think "F--- it. No way for her to prove it", and step to HR to complain > Colleague is being asked to stop her questioning (and gets her first official warning), but still brings it up two more times > I go to HR again, she gets her second official warning > I'm enjoying that this moronic s--- is now biting the proponents in their ass > Again, she's alluding to my pronouns not being genuine during a meeting >I make a big scene of it (lulz), and HR gets involved again > Last Friday was her last day. So what have YOU been doing to make this world a better place?

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Everyone liked that. | /r/Greentext

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Anon introduces himself to his new girlfriend's mom. | /r/Greentext

>Be shy 17 year old >Meet girl at a party >She is pretty >Always wants to touch, sit on lap etc. >Party ends >She proposes to go on a walk 87 KB PNG >Agree, have small nice talk outside >She then asks me to come to her house >Yes23.jpg >Grsbs my hand, practically tows me to her house >Go in, have sex >Sweaty, go to her kitchen to grab drink >Her mom is there >Im naked >brain_shudown.gif >Grab her hand and say "Hello, my name is Anon" I will never forget

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