anon "flirts' with a girl | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)21:38:11 No.61247472 File: 1615514553166.png (282 KB, 522x502) >>61247507 >>61247755 >>61249514 >>61251073 >>61251161 >>61251221 >>61252767 >go to Target to kill some time before my take-out is ready >autistically meander around the store because I don't need to buy anything >see the same chick next to me or behind me about 5 or 6 times >don't think anything of it because I was cutting between the aisles >foodsready.png >time to go >walk out to my car >hear a faint ".hey!" as I'm about to open the door >fuckfuckfuck >it's the girl I saw in Target >FUCKFUCKFUCK >"y-yeah?" >"you walk fast" >"uh ahaha yeah I guess so" >"Do you have a girlfriend?" >FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKWHATDOISAY >"yeah I do" (lie) >".oh well do you live around here?" >"no I'm just visiting my parents" (lie) >"do you have a snapchat or anything like that?" >"no sorry" (lie) >she looks disappointed >"I'm meeting up with some friends so I have to go now" (Ilie) >get in my car and drive away at lightning speed This girl must've been insane to follow me out to my car, but it felt nice. Too bad I'm autistic and only into 2D anime girls.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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The past we yearn for | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)02:15:31 No.853427144 IMG_20210410_021056.jpg 190 KB JPG >go to /b >Seeing thread about /b and how great it was and how s----- it's now >An other thread is about diy go for a vasectomy >Close 4chan

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Lady of the house | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)13:43:10 No.28295776 Not paranormal, but it could have had a bad ending. I've told it before though >Leave house and go to shop at the top of my street >Darkish but it's only about 7pm >See woman walking down street looking at houses >It's my mother's friend >She's only been to our place once and so she's probably looking to see which one is familiar >She looks super spaced out, never known her to take drugs or really even drink >Go up to her to say hello and tell her which one our house is >As soon as I get up to her and open my mouth to talk I realise it isn't my mother's friend at all >She looks really taken aback and puts her hand in her handbag, it's pretty awkward desu and I don't want to get peppersprayed by some crackhead >l just cross over the street towards the shop without saying a word >Come out of shop and round the corner back into street >Can see my house from where I am >See woman in my garden, but she's not just in my garden >She's standing up against the window with her hands cupped around her eyes trying to see in >But the blinds and curtains are closed so you can't see anything >Turn full coward and hide behind a car >Spy on her leaving >Get to my gate and she's near the bottom of the street >Turns around just as I enter and she starts sprinting at me >F--- this >Run into house and lock the door >Mother asks me what's going on but I shush her >Hear garden gate open and footsteps approaching >Wait for knock on door >Nothing happens >At the same time I don't hear her leave >Peep out window and she's nowhere to be seen >Following day go back to shop >All of the papers are by the counter and I'm reading the headlines >See psycho woman's face from last night on front page of local rag >Turned out she'd gone home from work and her husband said he was leaving her >So she just flipped and stabbed him to death >Then she left the house with a knife in her bag and started stabbing any men she came across in "revenge" >Stabbed like 4 or 5 before the police caught up with her

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Anon gets assimilated | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)05:59:04 No.63478267 > You will NOT eat dirt, it's weird and unhealthy 9 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)06:00:22 No.63478288 >>63478267 (OP)# I WILL eat dirt 212 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)06:01:23 No.63478300 > Stops eating dirt 65 KB JPG

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Anon realized it‘s over for him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)11:06:14 No.63480886 >mfw I realized that my a------ hairs are longer than the hairs on my scalp 23 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)11:07:17 No.63480898 >>63480886 (OP) # Just measured one, it was 17 cm long

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Anon and his Chinese classmates | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/17/13(Tue)20:12:14 UTC-6 No.521945124 Reply Replies: >>521949103 >Be me, high school senior >A set of Chinese twins enter my grade in the middle of the year >greatmorechinks.jpeg >It was a boy and a girl: Ving and Ling Chingchongsomethingsomething >Parents must have been smashed on sake to think of those gems >Both are in my trig class >Ving sits next to me, turns out to be pretty cool >He tells me I can cheat off his tests if l do one thing for him >I'm failing trig, I'd sell my soul for his test answers >"Sure, anything." >He asks me how to legally change his name [Autism Intensifies] >He's sick of having a stupid-ass name like Ving >Can't say I blame him >Ask him what he wants his new name to be >"Lee. Like, Bruce Lee." >Soundsgood.jpeg >Ling overhears us from a few rows away >Says that his name has been passed down for generations >His parents would disown him if he changed it >Ving doesn't give a s--- >l offer to drive him to town hall afterschool >Ling insists on tagging along >Shrug, drive them both >Walk into town hall, Ving goes straight to the desk >Demands a form, pulls out birth certificate >shitgotreal.jpeg >Starts scribbling down info on name-change sheet > Suddenly looks conflicted >Tears start welling >Apparently that ancestral s--- runs deep >Tells receptionist he can't do it >She says he'll have to pay a fee to cancel his request >Stupid-ass small-town laws >Ling is just glad he changed his mind, grabs some cash from her purse >ls about to hand it to the receptionist when some dude bursts into the town hall >Short, elderly Asian man, neon shorts, American flag t-shirt and ray-bans >Someone's gone full 'murican >Ving stares at the man, tears dripping down his yellow cheeks >'Dad.?" >Dad runs up and embraces son >Huge smile on his face >'Don't stop, be Lee, Ving >Hold on to that fee, Ling."

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Anon can‘t fail | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)06:42:53 No.63478748 >have so much staying power in my grade from completing assignments and doing well on exams throughout the semester that I basically just have to show up to my finals to pass my classes. 261 KB JPG S---'s comfy, bros, pretty f-----' comfy.

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Anon invents a new pick-up line | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITT : Awkward stuff that happe(...) 05/01/21(Sat)20:10:45 No.63470219 l'll start : In French "good day" / "hello" = bonjour And "good evening" = bonsoir uh cheeAnd lo eet yyou? 3DOHNE >be me 604 KB PNG >walking my dog at around 7pm >cross path with someone else walking their dog >say "bonjoir" Why is my brain not connected properly

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The many faces of 4chan | /r/Greentext

name 1 feel that bothers you right now name 1 feel that bothers you r(...) 05/01/21(Sat)16:13:10 No.63468378 >too sad to j------- 392 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)16:13:53 No.63468386 >>63468378 (OP) # >Obsessed with hating women I don't know why I'm doing this. : Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)17:52:32 No.63469292 >>63468378 (OP)# >procastinating on purpose till i start to panic

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Anon have debts to pay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: g3ijlpSo 05/01/21(Sat)02:37:14 No.319437988 >22 years old >Went to college for computer science >Only took like 4 cs courses, rest were (((history))) and (((philosophy))) classes needed for my degree >70k in debt 16 KB JPG >Family abandoned me because of my politics. Won't let me move back in >Unhireable because no one taught me what i needed to get a job >Just interviewed at target for sales floor >Interviewer was a t-----, will be my boss if i get hired >Don't even have money for booze anymore to feel even a little normal What the f--- : Anonymous (ID: (bdhz+tJV 05/01/21(Sat)02:40:01 No.319438359 >>319437988 (OP)_# If you are open to fellating a 52 year old man like me I can help pay off your loans. >>319440108 # >>319442981 # >>319462949 # >>319464163 # >>319470171 # >>319474147 # >>319474495 #

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doritos helped anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)08:05:07 No.853446577 >le me in middle school in 2013 >be antisocial, no friends >lunchroom.mp4 >open up my lunchbag >get a dorito bag with one of those messages on it Doritos y LIFE >this one says "stand up for someone today" 104 KB JPG >ignore message, keep eating like fat f--- >overhear dumbass wannabe chad and his friends making fun of some girl sitting alone >7/10 quiet shy girl in a couple of my classes, don't know her that well >she is drawing in a journal >look up and see him continuing to make fun of girl >does alpha move and takes journal to show off to equally retard friends >remember the message that the doritos bag said >stand up and walk towards them sweating >"hey" >"what" >"can you leave her alone?" >"why, do you like her?" >"no, you're just being a d--- to her right now and you should stop" >"so what? what're you gonna do about it?" >dumb confident f--- is holding the journal while girl looks at me with eyes gesturing me to stop >try to grab journal >chad does a f------ basketball pass to his friend >his friends start passing it around between each other >one of his friends catches it >proceed to football tackle him to the ground taking the journal >try to stand up but f----- pulls down and makes me land face first >ouch.jpg >end up fighting each other for about 3 minutes before teachers get involved and end fight >get suspended >come back to school weeks later >in class >girl talks to me >"thanks for doing that" >look over >"no problem" i say >continue talking about the incident >ask her about what she draws in the journal >she shows me >teacher interrupts us and we talk after class, form a friendship fast forward to now, we are both in college making long distance work and planning to marry can't imagine what would have happened without that doritos bag giving me advice thanks doritos bag

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Anon hates fruit tribe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)06:52:53 No.46719974 >>46719859 # >fruit tribe laughs at meat tribe >says meat tribe breath stop early >ice age come >no fruit left >guess who laugh now

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Anon wants pictures of Spider-Man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)08:39:41 No.122737548 Slander is spoken, libel is printed.png 473 KB PNG >PARKER! When I say I want pictures of Spider-man, I mean Spider-man. Not the Asian female knockoff, not old hag in the red jumpsuit, not the cartoon pig, not the one in the hoodie, and certainly not black one! PICTURES. OF. SPIDER. HYPHEN. MAN. ÔNCE THE DOCTORS MANAGE TO PRY YOUR CAMERA OUT OF YOUR LOWER INTESTINES, I EXPECT THOSE PHOTOS TO BE ON MY DESK BY SUNDOWN, NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!

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