Anon gets assimilated | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)05:59:04 No.63478267 > You will NOT eat dirt, it's weird and unhealthy 9 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)06:00:22 No.63478288 >>63478267 (OP)# I WILL eat dirt 212 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)06:01:23 No.63478300 > Stops eating dirt 65 KB JPG

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Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: DGIRKsep) F--- Cyclists ▼Settings Mobile Home 11/10/24(Sun)15:42:18 No.487999666 MET 508 KB PNG >"No, I will not get out of your way and ride on the pavement, that's against the highway code" >"You must stay behind my slow ass and if you dare pass me without giving me at least 1000 feet of space, I will capture you on my GoPro and report you to the authorities!" Proceeds to: >Ignore red lights >Ignore give way lines >Ignore stop signs >Check phone >Swerve everywhere like a drunk >Ignore busses pulling out (Rule 223) >Still rides on the pavement when its convenient They're like the little bureaucrats of the road.

File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

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Anon realized it‘s over for him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)11:06:14 No.63480886 >mfw I realized that my a------ hairs are longer than the hairs on my scalp 23 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)11:07:17 No.63480898 >>63480886 (OP) # Just measured one, it was 17 cm long

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Anon and his Chinese classmates | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/17/13(Tue)20:12:14 UTC-6 No.521945124 Reply Replies: >>521949103 >Be me, high school senior >A set of Chinese twins enter my grade in the middle of the year >greatmorechinks.jpeg >It was a boy and a girl: Ving and Ling Chingchongsomethingsomething >Parents must have been smashed on sake to think of those gems >Both are in my trig class >Ving sits next to me, turns out to be pretty cool >He tells me I can cheat off his tests if l do one thing for him >I'm failing trig, I'd sell my soul for his test answers >"Sure, anything." >He asks me how to legally change his name [Autism Intensifies] >He's sick of having a stupid-ass name like Ving >Can't say I blame him >Ask him what he wants his new name to be >"Lee. Like, Bruce Lee." >Soundsgood.jpeg >Ling overhears us from a few rows away >Says that his name has been passed down for generations >His parents would disown him if he changed it >Ving doesn't give a s--- >l offer to drive him to town hall afterschool >Ling insists on tagging along >Shrug, drive them both >Walk into town hall, Ving goes straight to the desk >Demands a form, pulls out birth certificate >shitgotreal.jpeg >Starts scribbling down info on name-change sheet > Suddenly looks conflicted >Tears start welling >Apparently that ancestral s--- runs deep >Tells receptionist he can't do it >She says he'll have to pay a fee to cancel his request >Stupid-ass small-town laws >Ling is just glad he changed his mind, grabs some cash from her purse >ls about to hand it to the receptionist when some dude bursts into the town hall >Short, elderly Asian man, neon shorts, American flag t-shirt and ray-bans >Someone's gone full 'murican >Ving stares at the man, tears dripping down his yellow cheeks >'Dad.?" >Dad runs up and embraces son >Huge smile on his face >'Don't stop, be Lee, Ving >Hold on to that fee, Ling."

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Anon can‘t fail | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)06:42:53 No.63478748 >have so much staying power in my grade from completing assignments and doing well on exams throughout the semester that I basically just have to show up to my finals to pass my classes. 261 KB JPG S---'s comfy, bros, pretty f-----' comfy.

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Anon invents a new pick-up line | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITT : Awkward stuff that happe(...) 05/01/21(Sat)20:10:45 No.63470219 l'll start : In French "good day" / "hello" = bonjour And "good evening" = bonsoir uh cheeAnd lo eet yyou? 3DOHNE >be me 604 KB PNG >walking my dog at around 7pm >cross path with someone else walking their dog >say "bonjoir" Why is my brain not connected properly

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The many faces of 4chan | /r/Greentext

name 1 feel that bothers you right now name 1 feel that bothers you r(...) 05/01/21(Sat)16:13:10 No.63468378 >too sad to j------- 392 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)16:13:53 No.63468386 >>63468378 (OP) # >Obsessed with hating women I don't know why I'm doing this. : Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)17:52:32 No.63469292 >>63468378 (OP)# >procastinating on purpose till i start to panic

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Anon have debts to pay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: g3ijlpSo 05/01/21(Sat)02:37:14 No.319437988 >22 years old >Went to college for computer science >Only took like 4 cs courses, rest were (((history))) and (((philosophy))) classes needed for my degree >70k in debt 16 KB JPG >Family abandoned me because of my politics. Won't let me move back in >Unhireable because no one taught me what i needed to get a job >Just interviewed at target for sales floor >Interviewer was a t-----, will be my boss if i get hired >Don't even have money for booze anymore to feel even a little normal What the f--- : Anonymous (ID: (bdhz+tJV 05/01/21(Sat)02:40:01 No.319438359 >>319437988 (OP)_# If you are open to fellating a 52 year old man like me I can help pay off your loans. >>319440108 # >>319442981 # >>319462949 # >>319464163 # >>319470171 # >>319474147 # >>319474495 #

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doritos helped anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)08:05:07 No.853446577 >le me in middle school in 2013 >be antisocial, no friends >lunchroom.mp4 >open up my lunchbag >get a dorito bag with one of those messages on it Doritos y LIFE >this one says "stand up for someone today" 104 KB JPG >ignore message, keep eating like fat f--- >overhear dumbass wannabe chad and his friends making fun of some girl sitting alone >7/10 quiet shy girl in a couple of my classes, don't know her that well >she is drawing in a journal >look up and see him continuing to make fun of girl >does alpha move and takes journal to show off to equally retard friends >remember the message that the doritos bag said >stand up and walk towards them sweating >"hey" >"what" >"can you leave her alone?" >"why, do you like her?" >"no, you're just being a d--- to her right now and you should stop" >"so what? what're you gonna do about it?" >dumb confident f--- is holding the journal while girl looks at me with eyes gesturing me to stop >try to grab journal >chad does a f------ basketball pass to his friend >his friends start passing it around between each other >one of his friends catches it >proceed to football tackle him to the ground taking the journal >try to stand up but f----- pulls down and makes me land face first >ouch.jpg >end up fighting each other for about 3 minutes before teachers get involved and end fight >get suspended >come back to school weeks later >in class >girl talks to me >"thanks for doing that" >look over >"no problem" i say >continue talking about the incident >ask her about what she draws in the journal >she shows me >teacher interrupts us and we talk after class, form a friendship fast forward to now, we are both in college making long distance work and planning to marry can't imagine what would have happened without that doritos bag giving me advice thanks doritos bag

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Anon hates fruit tribe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)06:52:53 No.46719974 >>46719859 # >fruit tribe laughs at meat tribe >says meat tribe breath stop early >ice age come >no fruit left >guess who laugh now

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Anon wants pictures of Spider-Man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)08:39:41 No.122737548 Slander is spoken, libel is printed.png 473 KB PNG >PARKER! When I say I want pictures of Spider-man, I mean Spider-man. Not the Asian female knockoff, not old hag in the red jumpsuit, not the cartoon pig, not the one in the hoodie, and certainly not black one! PICTURES. OF. SPIDER. HYPHEN. MAN. ÔNCE THE DOCTORS MANAGE TO PRY YOUR CAMERA OUT OF YOUR LOWER INTESTINES, I EXPECT THOSE PHOTOS TO BE ON MY DESK BY SUNDOWN, NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!

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Why must you hurt me this way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)12:47:59 No.63450322 >You will never have a teenage romance >You never had the shy awkward fırst date where you're both sweating buckets >You will never make a big deal out of holding hands or kissing >You will never go with her to the 137 KB JPG school dance Every moment of youth that slips away leaves so many more wonderful feelings unfulfilled. : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)12:50:06 No.63450335 >>63450322 (OP) # Don't remind me, OP. 211 KB JPG

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Anon proves twilight is redpilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)18:20:03 No.61261329 >>61261110 (OP) # Unironically twilight is one of the most redpilled movies ever. Here's what I got from it >women bring absolutely nothing to the table they just hang out and pick the winner >Most attractive thing you can do to a girl is leave her, abuse her >if you're hot you can do and say anything and bitches still love you >Edward has immortality, and with it he chooses to go to highschool over and over again just to f--- 16 year olds >give away your daughters to your homies in arranged marriages >native Americans are violent drunken werewolves >>61261357 # >>61261369 # >>61263400 # >>61264709 #

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Anon goes to the cinema | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)10:42:43 No.853382669 > be me > 36 year old good boy > going to the cinema with m'lady Yumeko body pillow to see the new my little pony movie > mommy bought me tickets (glad that stupid bitch did something right 246 KB JPG for once) > wearing my finest trench coat and fedora > walk into movie theatre > Chad turns to me and sees m'lady > he laughs "What are you doing with that thing?" > thing > what >I must defend m'ladys honour > take my katana out from under my trench coat > REEEEEEEEE > TENDIE WHIRLWIND ATTACK >I charge Chad, the tendies I had stuffed in my pockets flying everywhere > he sidesteppes me and due to my 450 pound healthy frame I fall on my face > Chad kicks me in the head as I am down > I wake up in the wee woo bus with my waifu by my side > she thanks me for defending her honour and calls me king > mfw

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