Anon and his Chinese classmates | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 12/17/13(Tue)20:12:14 UTC-6 No.521945124 Reply Replies: >>521949103 >Be me, high school senior >A set of Chinese twins enter my grade in the middle of the year >greatmorechinks.jpeg >It was a boy and a girl: Ving and Ling Chingchongsomethingsomething >Parents must have been smashed on sake to think of those gems >Both are in my trig class >Ving sits next to me, turns out to be pretty cool >He tells me I can cheat off his tests if l do one thing for him >I'm failing trig, I'd sell my soul for his test answers >"Sure, anything." >He asks me how to legally change his name [Autism Intensifies] >He's sick of having a stupid-ass name like Ving >Can't say I blame him >Ask him what he wants his new name to be >"Lee. Like, Bruce Lee." >Soundsgood.jpeg >Ling overhears us from a few rows away >Says that his name has been passed down for generations >His parents would disown him if he changed it >Ving doesn't give a s--- >l offer to drive him to town hall afterschool >Ling insists on tagging along >Shrug, drive them both >Walk into town hall, Ving goes straight to the desk >Demands a form, pulls out birth certificate >shitgotreal.jpeg >Starts scribbling down info on name-change sheet > Suddenly looks conflicted >Tears start welling >Apparently that ancestral s--- runs deep >Tells receptionist he can't do it >She says he'll have to pay a fee to cancel his request >Stupid-ass small-town laws >Ling is just glad he changed his mind, grabs some cash from her purse >ls about to hand it to the receptionist when some dude bursts into the town hall >Short, elderly Asian man, neon shorts, American flag t-shirt and ray-bans >Someone's gone full 'murican >Ving stares at the man, tears dripping down his yellow cheeks >'Dad.?" >Dad runs up and embraces son >Huge smile on his face >'Don't stop, be Lee, Ving >Hold on to that fee, Ling."

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon can‘t fail | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)06:42:53 No.63478748 >have so much staying power in my grade from completing assignments and doing well on exams throughout the semester that I basically just have to show up to my finals to pass my classes. 261 KB JPG S---'s comfy, bros, pretty f-----' comfy.

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Anon invents a new pick-up line | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITT : Awkward stuff that happe(...) 05/01/21(Sat)20:10:45 No.63470219 l'll start : In French "good day" / "hello" = bonjour And "good evening" = bonsoir uh cheeAnd lo eet yyou? 3DOHNE >be me 604 KB PNG >walking my dog at around 7pm >cross path with someone else walking their dog >say "bonjoir" Why is my brain not connected properly

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The many faces of 4chan | /r/Greentext

name 1 feel that bothers you right now name 1 feel that bothers you r(...) 05/01/21(Sat)16:13:10 No.63468378 >too sad to j------- 392 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)16:13:53 No.63468386 >>63468378 (OP) # >Obsessed with hating women I don't know why I'm doing this. : Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)17:52:32 No.63469292 >>63468378 (OP)# >procastinating on purpose till i start to panic

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Anon have debts to pay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: g3ijlpSo 05/01/21(Sat)02:37:14 No.319437988 >22 years old >Went to college for computer science >Only took like 4 cs courses, rest were (((history))) and (((philosophy))) classes needed for my degree >70k in debt 16 KB JPG >Family abandoned me because of my politics. Won't let me move back in >Unhireable because no one taught me what i needed to get a job >Just interviewed at target for sales floor >Interviewer was a t-----, will be my boss if i get hired >Don't even have money for booze anymore to feel even a little normal What the f--- : Anonymous (ID: (bdhz+tJV 05/01/21(Sat)02:40:01 No.319438359 >>319437988 (OP)_# If you are open to fellating a 52 year old man like me I can help pay off your loans. >>319440108 # >>319442981 # >>319462949 # >>319464163 # >>319470171 # >>319474147 # >>319474495 #

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doritos helped anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)08:05:07 No.853446577 >le me in middle school in 2013 >be antisocial, no friends >lunchroom.mp4 >open up my lunchbag >get a dorito bag with one of those messages on it Doritos y LIFE >this one says "stand up for someone today" 104 KB JPG >ignore message, keep eating like fat f--- >overhear dumbass wannabe chad and his friends making fun of some girl sitting alone >7/10 quiet shy girl in a couple of my classes, don't know her that well >she is drawing in a journal >look up and see him continuing to make fun of girl >does alpha move and takes journal to show off to equally retard friends >remember the message that the doritos bag said >stand up and walk towards them sweating >"hey" >"what" >"can you leave her alone?" >"why, do you like her?" >"no, you're just being a d--- to her right now and you should stop" >"so what? what're you gonna do about it?" >dumb confident f--- is holding the journal while girl looks at me with eyes gesturing me to stop >try to grab journal >chad does a f------ basketball pass to his friend >his friends start passing it around between each other >one of his friends catches it >proceed to football tackle him to the ground taking the journal >try to stand up but f----- pulls down and makes me land face first >ouch.jpg >end up fighting each other for about 3 minutes before teachers get involved and end fight >get suspended >come back to school weeks later >in class >girl talks to me >"thanks for doing that" >look over >"no problem" i say >continue talking about the incident >ask her about what she draws in the journal >she shows me >teacher interrupts us and we talk after class, form a friendship fast forward to now, we are both in college making long distance work and planning to marry can't imagine what would have happened without that doritos bag giving me advice thanks doritos bag

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Anon hates fruit tribe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)06:52:53 No.46719974 >>46719859 # >fruit tribe laughs at meat tribe >says meat tribe breath stop early >ice age come >no fruit left >guess who laugh now

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Anon wants pictures of Spider-Man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)08:39:41 No.122737548 Slander is spoken, libel is printed.png 473 KB PNG >PARKER! When I say I want pictures of Spider-man, I mean Spider-man. Not the Asian female knockoff, not old hag in the red jumpsuit, not the cartoon pig, not the one in the hoodie, and certainly not black one! PICTURES. OF. SPIDER. HYPHEN. MAN. ÔNCE THE DOCTORS MANAGE TO PRY YOUR CAMERA OUT OF YOUR LOWER INTESTINES, I EXPECT THOSE PHOTOS TO BE ON MY DESK BY SUNDOWN, NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!

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Why must you hurt me this way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)12:47:59 No.63450322 >You will never have a teenage romance >You never had the shy awkward fırst date where you're both sweating buckets >You will never make a big deal out of holding hands or kissing >You will never go with her to the 137 KB JPG school dance Every moment of youth that slips away leaves so many more wonderful feelings unfulfilled. : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)12:50:06 No.63450335 >>63450322 (OP) # Don't remind me, OP. 211 KB JPG

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Anon proves twilight is redpilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)18:20:03 No.61261329 >>61261110 (OP) # Unironically twilight is one of the most redpilled movies ever. Here's what I got from it >women bring absolutely nothing to the table they just hang out and pick the winner >Most attractive thing you can do to a girl is leave her, abuse her >if you're hot you can do and say anything and bitches still love you >Edward has immortality, and with it he chooses to go to highschool over and over again just to f--- 16 year olds >give away your daughters to your homies in arranged marriages >native Americans are violent drunken werewolves >>61261357 # >>61261369 # >>61263400 # >>61264709 #

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Anon goes to the cinema | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)10:42:43 No.853382669 > be me > 36 year old good boy > going to the cinema with m'lady Yumeko body pillow to see the new my little pony movie > mommy bought me tickets (glad that stupid bitch did something right 246 KB JPG for once) > wearing my finest trench coat and fedora > walk into movie theatre > Chad turns to me and sees m'lady > he laughs "What are you doing with that thing?" > thing > what >I must defend m'ladys honour > take my katana out from under my trench coat > REEEEEEEEE > TENDIE WHIRLWIND ATTACK >I charge Chad, the tendies I had stuffed in my pockets flying everywhere > he sidesteppes me and due to my 450 pound healthy frame I fall on my face > Chad kicks me in the head as I am down > I wake up in the wee woo bus with my waifu by my side > she thanks me for defending her honour and calls me king > mfw

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anon is Brazilian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)23:10:31 No.853416273 > be brazillian > s------- country, wish I could live in America > can't even afford a doctor > have to rely on free universal healthcare instead 146 KB JPG > barely gets paid living wage > can only survive due to the many welfare programs and discounts on bills and taxes > we don't even export culture > nobody even knows who Machado de Assis and Villa Lobos are > americans got cool stereotypes, like shouting 'freedom' in an electric scooter > we are known worldwide as bubbly things like energetic, sociable, hot, etc > country doesn't even speak english > had to grew up bilingual learning english at the free schools > pic related. i must eat cheap healthy food everyday like rice, beans, pasta, mashed potatoes, more types of meat than stars in the sky, all sorts of salads, vegetables and fruits > tendies are costly > even nature is boring > just regular biodiversity and beauty, zero natural disasters > crime is everywhere > murder rate in my city is 12 per 100000, almost as high as suicide rate in USA At least Bolsonaro is fixing things.

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Anon comes from a dysfunctional family | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)12:11:29 No.63466447 >mom p----- the bed again after getting black out drunk again im starting to get sick of living 58 KB JPG

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